Bucky was quiet nowadays. When he did speak, he chose his words wisely like he was chewing on each sentence before letting it slip passed his lips. He adjusted to his new arm quickly in the last 6 months he'd been off the ice, but never wanted to see or be around anyone other than Steve so check-ups were a duo event.
Steve was patient with this Bucky, learning new things as he observed him from across the room.
"How much do you remember about our lives?"
It wasn't the first time Steve had asked this question, but this is the first time Bucky had answered it.
"I remember everything."
"Coney Island?"
"Which time? The time we rode the Cyclone and you threw up everywhere, or the time you won that stuffed bear that was too big for you to carry home?"
"The Wonder Wheel?"
"You would bring up the Wonder Wheel."
"It was my first time riding it!"
"And the last."
The conversation died quickly as the technician entered the room, and Bucky remained silent for the rest of the visit, but the smile never left the otherwise expressionless man.
Steve didn't like living in the Avenger's tower much, but he had to admit that the perks were nice. Steve loved to putz around in the kitchen trying to figure out all the gadgets, but for some odd reason he could never get the thing called a "Keurig" right.
Abandoned K-cups stacked the garbage in the corner as Steve made his decidedly last and final attempt against the vial machine, placing his empty cup on the metal tray. It sprang to life as he pressed his preferred buttons, and the first bit of liquid to pour out was actually coffee.
"Buck!" Steve bellowed, the smile rising to his eyes. He raised his arms in victory. "I figured out the percolator!"
When Steve heard no response, he became curious. He peeked down the dark hallway to their adjacent rooms, finding both lights on and the doors open. He waited patiently for his cup to fill and the contraption to shut down before taking a sip, deciding that even that was too hot for Captain America.
"Buck?" Steve rounded the kitchen island, starting down the halls to their bedrooms.
When he was almost halfway, he watched Bucky come out, clutching some white papers in his fingers. Bucky was reading them intently, his eyes scanning the sheets.
"What's that?"
"Your letters." Bucky spoke flatly.
"How far did you get?" Steve stopped in his tracks as Bucky dropped his gaze.
"I've read them all twice."
"Look, I can explain-"
Bucky rushed him, dropping the letters to his side as he enveloped Steve's frame in his arms. Bucky leaned into Steve's air and pressed his lips into Steve's. Steve was shocked, his arms clutching into tight fists. Bucky pulled back and shoved the letters into Steve's chest.
"Dot was never pregnant."
"What?"
"She was never pregnant. I got a postcard the day before…" Bucky's eyes lowered as he searched for the most sensitive words to use for such a fucked up situation like falling to your death off a train. "...before it happened. She was calling to tell me she'd met another man, and they were getting married in the May. Wanted to make sure I knew."
If Bucky hadn't had a hold of Steve's shoulders, his knees may have buckled beneath him.
Bucky lurched himself forward again and took Steve's slack mouth, thrusting his tongue inside. They parted for breath as Bucky raised his knee into Steve's raging member, making him shutter and throw his head back in a moan.
"I was dying in Europe." Bucky pushed forward, sliding the cool metal of his left hand up to Steve's cheek, capturing his lips roughly. "I wanted to tell you I loved you every day… but I so badly needed you to move on so that I could, too."
"But Buck, if I hadn't made you stay-"
"Since when have you ever been able to tell me what to do, Rogers?" Bucky ripped the letters away from Steve and scattered them to the floor. "I was a grown man, and I knew what I was getting into. I knew I wanted to follow you into the depths of hell, same as you had done for me."
"But it's my fault." Bucky reached with the fingers not clutched to the side of the blonde's cheek to cusp Steve's fingers with his own, entwining them and bringing the joined hands to Bucky's chest.
"It's not, Steve. It's Hydra's. Had the shit that happened to me not happened, we'd never be here." Bucky brought Steve's knuckles to his lips. "I would have died unhappy, alone and a long time ago. I'm not thankful for what i've done as the asset, but I'm happy I get to fix what I've broken with you at my side."
Steve lurched forward and toppled Bucky, capturing his lips with a determined grin. Steve swelled with the overwhelming urge to collapse, finally, finally easing in to the comfort that he could have what he'd wanted after all these years.
And boy, was it worth the wait.
