This one is a little sadder...

H is for Hate

March 1984, Hawkins, IN

"If you're out there, just, please give me a sign."

On a Saturday afternoon about a week before he turned thirteen, Mike Wheeler was sitting in his basement and had been writing the end of the campaign he and his friends would play at his party. He was feeling… numb. He then turned and looked at the blanket fort in the corner, the one his mom had tried to take down in January. She had stopped when he came into the basement and screamed when he saw what she was doing, then started to cry, and she sat with him until his sobs turned to hiccups and those into slow breaths as he fell asleep. Karen didn't know exactly what had happened during that week in November, but she did know that it had changed her children forever, Mike especially. She was aware that he needed time, and she was determined to be as supportive a mother as she could be.

Mike knew he could talk to his mom if he needed to, but he didn't want her to worry about him more than she already did. So he kept it in as much as possible, which was getting relatively easier because he was feeling less and less.

Suddenly, the lights in the basement flickered, and in the fort Mike's Supercomm crackled. He looked at his watch. 3:15.

"El? Is that you?"

His Supercomm continued to crackle, but the lights stopped flickering and shut off completely. Mike tripped over his feet as he rushed over to grab the walkie-talkie.

"Eleven?!" He said into it. No response. "El, please, if it's you…" Mike squeezed his eyes shut.

The lights came back on. "Please let it be you," he whispered. The Supercomm stopped making noise and the lights flashed blindingly bright once, then everything was back to normal.

"No, no, no, no! NO!" Screamed Mike, tears brimming in his eyes. He threw his Supercomm into the blankets and got up, ripping the top blanket off the table and kicking the rest of them until the fort wasn't a fort anymore, just a pile of blankets under a table in the basement.

"I hate you! I hate you so much! I hate everything!"

Nancy came rushing down the stairs because she'd heard her brother yelling and she was under the impression that there was no one else home with them, so she was confused. When she arrived in the basement she saw Mike standing in front of a pile of blankets with tears streaming down his face.

"Oh God, Mike." She wrapped her arms around him and led him to the sofa. "What's wrong?" He continued to cry, and it broke Nancy's heart to see Mike this upset. Why hadn't he talked to anyone about what was bothering him?

"I hate this!" He sobbed into her shoulder. "I miss her so much Nancy…"

"Hey, that's okay. You're allowed to miss people, and I know she was important to you."

"I hate this, I hate this, I hate this! I hate her and that she even appeared, and I hate me, and I hate existing and I hate the world for taking her away! Sometimes I wish she'd never showed up so I wouldn't feel like this…"

Nancy was beginning to feel as though she hadn't been aware of many things, even after she and Mike promised they wouldn't keep any more secrets from each other. One of those things was the depth of his feelings towards Eleven.

"You lied to me, didn't you?" She asked. Mike looked at his sister confusedly. He was starting to feel calmer. Maybe talking to someone about his feelings really did help. "When I asked if you liked her."

Do you like Eleven?

What? No, ew, gross!

Lies, and he knew it then too. "Yeah, I- I did."

"Mmm."

"I kissed her."

"Called it."

Mike sighed. "This is so unfair, Nance. Why'd all the bad stuff have to happen to her? She deserves people who care about her, not some bastards who think they can use her like she's an object! She only knew us for a week and sacrificed herself to save us, who does that?"

He could feel the tears threatening to escape again. "I just- God, it hurts, and I hate that it hurts because it was only a week so why do I miss her so much?" Mike buried his face in Nancy's shoulder and she hugged him tight.

"It's okay, Mike. People change people and you changed each other. I think she's out there somewhere, and wherever she is I'm sure the thing she wants most is to get back to you."

"Thanks, Nance," said Mike, muffled through his sister's sweater. "I can't believe I just cried on you, when's the last time that happened?"

Nancy rolled her eyes. "Probably when you were like 4 and I hit you, then I had to make it look like I was helping you so I wouldn't get in trouble," she answered. "It's totally fine to cry. Just because you're a boy doesn't mean you don't have emotions, and I think in your case you feel them more strongly. Don't know why though, would be interesting to try to find out," she added.

"That's weird."

She laughed. "You're weird, weirdo. But I love you anyway."

"Love you too, Nance."