Hello loyal readers, I hope you don't mind what I'm about to attempt in this series, because I myself am having second thoughts about it

Hello loyal readers, I hope you don't mind what I'm about to attempt in this series, because I myself am having second thoughts about it. None the less, I am pleased to bring you season 2 of my fanfiction series…if it was part of the real series, it would now be season 4, but that's not important right now. Enjoy!

Episode 12: Hell on most high

We find Zim walking home from Skool, grumbling about the usual things that concerned a typical sophomore in high skool. As he progressed down the street, he…

(Pause episode)

Ethan: "Wait a minute; I thought Zim was posing as sixth grader?"

Max: "Yeah, what happened to grades 7, 8, and 9?"

Mike: "It's a time jump, I felt it was necessary."

Max: "What? How?"

Mike: "I just thought it would be interesting to watch the IZ guys to go through the horrors of High Skool."

Ethan: "What horrors? Standardized prep testing?"

Mike: "Look, just keep reading you morons, it will all make sense."

(Start episode up again)

Anyways, Zim walked home complaining to no one in particular about the pointlessness and anguish of going to skool.

"That place has taught me nothing about this planet!" he screamed. "Just that it's a helpless waste land, beyond fixing."

"It really is," said Das, who had just caught up with Zim, shouldering a riffle on his back.

"Huh, where did…oh, never mind. Did you kill Dib?" asked Zim, wonder when Das had caught up with him.

"No, I can't understand why I can't hit him with this. I think someone must have screwed around with the scope."

The two continued to walk down the street, going over new ideas for world conquest.

"I have to say Zim, I think we've exhausted every possible idea that one could devise for taking over this rock," said Das with a sigh.

"Wait, what if we make a huge grenade that will explode, and send out…oh god, we really have exhausted every possible idea that one could come up with," said Zim, realizing that they were out of ideas.

As they continued to walk, they heard a strange rustling in the bushes next to them. Zim looked over to see a cat with horn looking ears, and red eyes watching them.

"Shouldn't we run Zim?" asked Das.

"Why? Zim does not flee from scary looking felines."

"Well what about ones with giant pincer like claws?" asked the cat as it turned into a robot (That's right, Mimi). Mimi quickly shot her arm through Das' chest, and then threw his body across the neighborhood. As Das' cold dead body flew away, Mimi turned to Zim. She quickly grabbed him by the face, and forced him to the ground.

"Show yourself Tak!" yelled Zim, trying to get the arm off his face.

"She's not here right now," said Mimi, looking very evil in the moonlight.

"I thought the sleeping gas I used on her wore off?" said Zim, recalling his plan on the sixth grade bring your pet to skool day.

"Um, actually," said Mimi, trying to remember why Tak had not come. "She said it was because you're not worth her own time, so she just sent me."

"Okay," said Zim, giving the final straw. "Now I'm insulted. And no one insults ZIM!"

"Except for every one," said Mimi, very mockingly.

"SILENCE! I AM ZIM!"

"You're incompetent," said Mimi, grasping his head even harder. Zim was now very agitated.

"What makes you say this?" asked Zim, with a growl. "What makes Zim so incompetent?"

"Let's think about this; you've been on this planet for about 6 years now, and you have failed to do anything. Even with a traitor to the species, you still have achieved nothing."

"Am I really as so inept as to leave my back open to a knife?" asked Das, who now stood behind the little robot with a rather large knife.

"What the…I thought I killed you?" said Mimi, not understanding why Das was still up.

"You're calling us inept? After all these years, you still haven't learned that I won't stay down." Das thrusted the knife down into the pack that held Mimi's claw.

"Ahhh! Stay out of there!" screamed Mimi. "You'll destroy us all!"

"What?" asked Das, not understanding what she meant. "This will just kill you, not Zim or me."

"Damnit," said Mimi. "I thought that would work." Mimi quickly loosened her claw and ran off of Das' knife and into the night.

"Well," said Zim, getting off the ground. "That was weird."

"I'll say," said Das, putting the knife back into his new black BDU jacket. "I mean, she just came out of no where, and the next thing I know, I'm flying halfway across the neighborhood, with a huge gash in my chest."

As the two walked over to Zim's base, Zim began to think about what Mimi had said earlier.

"Maybe she's right," said Zim with a sigh.

"Who, Mimi? About what?" asked Das.

"I've been on this stupid rock for over 6 years, and I still haven't taken over the planet."

"Well, you do have little setbacks like Dib, Tak, Zet, that Sizz-lorr guy, and that creepy madness dog," said Das, trying to help Zim out.

"It's not just them!" said Zim with a sudden realization. "Even though I have a traitor to this species with me, you haven't helped a bit!"

"What are you saying?" asked Das.

"I'm saying you're useless," said Zim very angrily. "I mean, what have you done for me lately?" Das thought for a moment, trying to come up with things that he had helped with.

"Hey, since I've come in, we've destroyed Tasmania land, hypnotized children, launched a nuke, and leveled enough landscape to make Mount President Man Head the largest mountain in the world."

"…SILENCE!" screamed Zim. "But that was all around 3 or 4 years ago, you haven't done anything since then." Das saw where this was going. Zim had finally gotten fed up with Das, and was ready to kick him off of the mission.

"So what are you proposing?" asked Das.

"I'm saying that you had better keep up your end of the bargain, and help!"

"How?" asked Das. "We've exhausted every evil plan in the book, and I'm out of ammo for my riffle, so I can't go and kill Dib."

"Well, you'd better think quickly," said Zim. "Because I'm getting more impatient by the second." Zim stormed off into his base, and left Das in the street.

"Wow," thought Das. "Zim is finally getting competent. I guess all he needed, was a robots deadly claw preparing to crush his face." Das proceeded to walk home. As he walked, he thought of Zim's completely stupid disguise.

"Well maybe if he had a better disguise," he thought to himself. "It would be easier for him to get away with things." Das stopped in his tracks, and thought about that for a moment.

"Hey…that's it!" upon saying this, an unknowingly semi truck driver, zoomed through the streets, and ran over Das. Not stopping or looking back, the driver continued his route, running over various other people.

Meanwhile at the Membrane house, Dib was sitting at his computer, trying to figure out who had recklessly stolen his new semi that he had just purchased that day.

"Why is it that right when I get something cool, it's always taken away from me?" he thought to himself. Dib looked out the window to see that his garage was still not prepared from when Tak had broken into it, and taken her ship back.

"And why is it that after 5 years, Dad still has not noticed that?"

"Noticed what son?" said his dad who had just stuck his head in through the door.

"Huh? Oh, nothing dad," said Dib, not wanting to have to explain the destruction that had been done to his garage.
"Say, why are you inside, instead of driving that old cool truck of yours?" asked his father.

"Dad, I know you don't like the truck," said Dib. "But it was all that dealership had left. You know full well that I would have preferred a hover car."

"Those don't exist yet son."

"STOP FEEDING ME LIES!" Dib had gotten a little crazier over the years. It was becoming difficult for him to tell the difference between reality and fiction. But that was not the case in this situation. Membrane had just forgotten that he had invented the hover car, only a year ago.

"Dad, you invented the hover car! How can you say that they don't exist!?" asked Dib. The professor thought for a moment.

"Hm, I guess you're right, I did, but those hover cars aren't on the market yet," he said. "They're not yet perfected."

"Yes they are! I saw a guy driving one on my way home from skool today!"

"Oh yeah," said Membrane. "Okay, have fun."

"My car was stolen!" shouted Dib. "How could I possibly have fun!?"

"I'm sure you'll fine some way," said his father closing the door. Dib gave a sigh of relief and irritant. He could not believe that his dad was such an incompetent moron, and still considered one of the smartest men on the planet.

Dib looked out the window to see his stolen truck pull into his driveway. The vehicle soon stopped and a man wearing a ski mask jumped out, and ran off into the night.

"Ah!" said Dib with joy. "My car's back!"

"It's an old run down truck you moron!" yelled Gaz from the other room. Dib ran down the stairs to the driveway. He looked over the truck and to give it a damage assessment. He looked at the windshield to see that it was covered in blood, and white feathers.

"What the hell did this guy do to you?" said Dib, raising an eyebrow.

Dib pulled a washcloth out of the car, and proceeded to wipe the blood off the windshield. As he did this, four police cars drove up to his house. An exceptionally old sergeant stepped out of the first car and looked at Dib.

"That must be the guy sergeant!" said his partner.

"He's trying to clean off the evidence!" said another officer. The sergeant paused for a moment and gave an evil glare at Dib. He then decided what to do.

"Stop him before he can escaaaaaaaaappppeee!!" yelled the sergeant. "…get him!" (Yeah, it's that guy.)

Dib twitched his left eye when he saw the police charge toward him. They all jumped on to him in a dog pile like fashion, handcuffed him, threw him against one of the cars, beat him over the head with their nightsticks for a bit, then threw him in the car, and drove off, all with Dib screaming in agony.

Gaz and professor Membrane just watched as their brother and son was dragged off. They both gave a brief shrug, and went back inside.

"Wait a minute," said Tak, as she fixed the wounds in Mimi's back. "You ran your claw through his chest, threw him across the neighborhood, and then he appeared behind you with a knife?"

"Yes, I'm not quite sure how, but I think that boy is impervious to death," said Mimi.

"No matter," said Tak, as she finished up. "This new pack won't be destroyed so easily."

"It looks just like my last one," said Mimi as she observed her new pack.

"It is your old one, I just added another plate of steal in there, so it won't be damaged so easily," said Tak looking very proud at her work. "And now that I'm done with that, I can get the last piece in on the seed."

"With all do respect mistress," said Mimi. "But you've been working on that thing for years, just order one over here, it would be so much easier."

"SHUT UP!" yelled Tak. "I'm almost done, and it is going to work this time."

Tak put the final piece in the device. She scanned it one last time before confirming its completion.

"Yes," said Tak, with a grin on her face. "I have finally finished it!" Tak gave out a cry of laughter. She then walked outside of her makeshift base and into a clearing in the woods.

"And now, to create my new base of operations!" Tak dropped the seed to the ground and watched it dug deeper and deeper. After about five seconds of drilling, it stopped for a moment.

"Huh? What's going on?" asked Tak, looking into the small hole that it had made. Suddenly, a large blast of fire shot out of the hole, forcing her backwards into a tree. The towering inferno then proceeded to shrink back into the hole and explode, sending dust, and ash everywhere.

Mimi looked at her master who was now covered completely in soot.

"Don't even talk Mimi," said Tak, looking very angry. "Don't even talk."

Zim sat in his labs, still very angry and what had happened during his encounter with Mimi, and also very angry with Das' in ability to help in any way, shape or form.

"Stinking human," grumbled Zim. "Can't uphold his part of one stinking bargain…" Zim was cut off by a noisy opening and closing of doors. Zim looked over to see Das, huffing and puffing from exhaustion. He was also covered in bruises and scrapes, and there was a considerable quantity of blood draining from his right eye.

"I've got it!" exclaimed Das.

"Got what?" asked Zim, still looking very angry. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I was hit by a semi on the way over here, but that's not important right now. Any way, I've got an idea that will make your mission a lot easier." Zim raised an antenna, he seemed a bit intrigued.

"Well…" said Zim. "What is it?"

"A new disguise!" said Das. "One more like Tak's."

"You want me to disguise myself as an earth female?"

"What? No, I mean, a disguise that uses holographic technology. It will make your contacts and wig obsolete, and you'll blend in perfectly! It should make it easier to get into places unnoticed." Das gave a proud smile at his idea.

Zim thought for a moment. It wasn't a bad idea. Dib never noticed that Tak was an alien with her holographic disguise, but he saw right through his contacts and wig.

"…say…that's not bad," said Zim with a crooked and evil smile. "Quick; to the disguise lab! GIR!" Suddenly, one of the wires in Zim's ceiling fell down, and GIR crawled out of the opened end of it.

"Yes my lord!" said GIR saluting.

"We're going to make a new disguise, come!" said Zim, walking over to an elevator with Das.

"YIPIE! COSTUMES!" cried GIR with a happy smile. He ran over the elevator to join the two.

The next day at the local High Skool, the children went about their usual morning. They hung out with their friends, tossed around a football or two (bleah), or played video games.

Not five minutes until their first hour class, the children noticed something a tad different about one of the sophomores. Now this sophomore was a very unique individual to begin with. Before that day, he was known to have a skin condition, a skin condition that gave him a green outer layer of skin, and the absence of ears and a nose, and two fingers for each hand. This Child, we all know, was Zim.

But Zim was different today. Instead of having green skin, his skin was pale white. Instead of having no nose and ears, they were there. His hair was no longer fashioned in a strange style, and he had five fingers on each hand just like everyone else. This new appearance to their already quite unusual class mate was near freighting.

"Hello fellow earth students!" called Zim. "Is it not a wonderfully FILTHY earth day?" Every one nodded, still staring at this sudden change in Zim. Even his wardrobe had changed. Instead the weird reddish shirt, gloves, and black pants, he now wore knee high black boots, black parachute pants, and, for some odd reason, a strait jacket that was made to be worn like a shirt, with the sleeves open, and not tied around his back.

"Das, why are they staring at me?" asked Zim to his partner. "I thought you said this disguise wouldn't attract attention?"

"It's either because of strait jacket, or they're not use to seeing you like this," said Das.

Dib had of course noticed that Zim was different. He had gotten bail from his father the previous night, and was found to not even have been in the truck during the time it was rampaging. Dib decided used this opportunity to his advantage.

"Well Zim," he began. "What ever happened to your 'skin condition'?"

"Ah Dib," said Zim very evilly. "You see, it turns out that…what?" asked Zim, who was listening to Das, who was telling Zim what to say.

"Hm…ah…yes…what? No I…oh, okay. You see, Dib, my skin condition was only temporary. I have healed!!" Dib looked at Zim with a look of disgust.

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that?"

"…yes," said Zim, with an un-phased sort of look on his face. Dib gave an evil glare, and Zim gave one back.

"Well, your new disguise may have fooled everyone else, but not me," said Dib, sounding ever confident.

"That's because you've seen through it before," said Zim. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that you would fall for this new ingenious wardrobe?"

"…yes, your so naïve, that you would believe so."

"SILENCE!" screamed Zim. "I'm a genius!"

Upon saying this, Tak soon walked into the building. She noticed a strange new child, a very creepy looking one at that, scary almost.

"Well now," she said. "Who's your new friend Dab?"

"My name is Das," said Das, who was now very annoyed. "And I can tell you, I have no friends, I find them to be a nuisance, distractions from a greater purpose."

"Then why do you hang around with Zim?" she asked.

"I wouldn't really call us friends," said Zim, entering the conversation. "More or less acquaintances; or co-workers that mutually hate one another."

"Excellently put my good man," said Das (again, he talks like a Brit).

"Zim?" said Tak, who just now realized that this new scary child was. "No, it can't be, this is an idea of a competent invader."

"Ouch," said Dib, as he decided to walk away. He didn't want to be in the fight that he knew was about to brew.

"Well, I can say this much Zim," said Tak as she began to walk away. "It's quite a step up from the wig, but the idea is not to attract attention to you self, and a strait jacket does a very bad job at that, you're still an idiot." With that Tak walked away.

"I thought you said that these were all the rage among humans these days?" said Zim to Das, looking at the jacket.

"I said that I thought they were cool, other people have different opinions though."

"You lied to me," said Zim, pointing his finger.

"In a sense yes, but let us not let that get in the way."

Das took a moment to think about Tak's last comments.

"Wow," said Das. "Her insults are getting worst and worst each day."

"I think this planet is starting to get to her," said Zim with a snicker. The two laughed evilly at Tak's suspected cabin fever. Then Das noticed something about Zim.

"Say Zim," began Das, looking rather surprised. "I've just noticed that you've grown about a foot from when I first met you."

"Huh, have I?" ask Zim.

"Yeah, you were about 3 foot 9, now you're about 4 foot 11," said Das, who had pulled out a random measuring tape.

"Well," said Zim, looking himself over. "I wonder what could have caused that?"

Meanwhile in Zim's cells…

Cell 1: Wow! I feel great!

Cell 2: Me too, this solar crap that comes from this planets sun is great on our height.

Cell 3: I'll say, and 6 years of taking it in feels great.

Cell 2: Let's celebrate!

Cell 1: Yay! Party!"

With that, Zim's cells began to dance to music that was produced out of thin air.

Back to the real world, the students prepared for class.

"Hello class," said Ms. Bitters. "Due to lack of people that want to give up their valuable time to teach, I will be your new acting teacher."

"What happened to our old one, Mr. Simmons?" asked a child in the back.

"Ask, and you'll find out," said Bitters as she pressed a button on her desk. Suddenly, the floor beneath the child was removed, and the small boy plummeted in to a dark abyss.

"Any more questions?" asked Bitters. The class quickly nodded their heads in silence, and watched Bitters begin the lecture.

"Wait," asked Dib. "Are you saying that you want to teach us?"

"…no," said Bitters very coldly. "Not at all."

It was now the end of the day and the children were leaving. Dib walked out with Gaz, rambling on and on about Zim's new disguise, and the purpose behind it.

"He can blend in even better then before now!" said Dib. "He's becoming so much more competent! He's getting smarter!"

"And your getting dumber," said Gaz, not looking up from her game. "Do you see me complaining?"

"Gaz!" yelled Dib. "He's becoming a credible threat to humanity, and we need to get rid of him, Tak, and Das soon!"

"Good luck trying to kill Das," said Gaz with a grin. "He's not the type to stay dead."

"Shut up Gaz, besides, he's a terrible shot." Suddenly, a brick dropped from a street light onto Dib's head.

"Gyah!" cried Dib, as it smashed and crumbled over his head. Suddenly, Das jumped down from the street, and landed on top of him.

"Now tell me again," said Das, with a smug look on his face. "Who is a terrible shot?"

Gaz gave a slight chuckle and looked at Das' new coat.

"…nice jacket."

"Um…thanks," said Das, not quite understanding why she had complemented his coat. With that, Das ran up to Zim, who was about 200 yards up.

"I hit him square over the head with the brick," said Das with an evil smile.

"I couldn't have been that hard to hit him, just look at the size of his head!" said Zim as he gave off a sinister chuckle.

"I feel good about how today went," said Zim, as he walked into his base.

End of episode 12

Sorry about the wait. I had a lot of set backs before I could get this one done. But here it is.

Oh, and there you go Ethan, are you happy now? ARE YOU!?

Stay tuned for episode 13.

Oh, and sorry about the time jump, I felt it was necessary. Character concepts will be on my DA soon.

Copy right Jhonen Vasquez/ Invader Zim