Beta: BalckwaterLove (the Great)
The Change, Chapter 8
"The Sense of Smell."
The second day was equally awkward as the first one. In the morning when Leah arrived at the Cullen's house, Jasper was not waiting for her. Hesitantly she exited the car and knocked at the front door. "It's open!" Esme's voice reached her.
Morning light made the house seem almost cozy for her wolfish senses. Bright hall and yellow-white kitchen were filled with morning air. Singing birds could be heard through the open windows and light breeze moved the window curtains. And yet, the picture perfect home gave her an eerie feeling and raised bumps on her skin.
The house seemed too still. The smell of dead flowers lingered inside despite open windows. It was strange, she thought, as she did not notice much of that scent around Jasper. He did have a smell, of course, but his was less pronounced. Or perhaps reminded her less of the vampire community.
There was something about vampires together that heightened the scent of death, she mused, kind like with teenage boys. Seth did not smell, well usually, but when he and his friends got together after playing baseball for two hours, Seth's room distinctively reeked of the teenage boys, ugh.
The kitchen seemed still, like a pretty picture in a magazine. Yet, there was no food or morning cheerio scattered around the counter top, no random coffee cups on the table. The kitchen was as artificial as life in vampires.
"Oh, Leah, how lovely to see you!" Esme appeared out of nowhere. Leah blinked and focused on relaxing he shoulders.
"Hi, Esme." There was reluctance in her voice, but Esme did not pay attention. "You don't mind me waiting here for Jasper do you?" Her voice was perky and too loud for the large house. She kept smiling broadly, her face frozen in a determined grimace.
"He's getting ready. Should be here any moment now."
"Well, we have classes so we need to get going soon…" Leah let her voice trail as she turned around toward the entrance. "I better be going." Esme's smile faltered as Leah continued, "Could you let him know I will be waiting in the car?"
Her hand was touching the door handle, when she heard, "Please don't go yet!" Esme took a careful step to Leah, her hand raised in the air. Leah looked at her expectantly.
"Would you like some coffee? Or perhaps breakfast?" Esme smiled again, as she took her hand together in front of her chest looking as if ready to sing The Sound of Music. "Did you like you're lunch from yesterday?"
Leah blinked.
"Seth told me you loved salmon, so I thought that some smoked salmon with cream cheese would make a perfect lunch for you."
"Right." Leah did not admit that she threw it away as soon as she arrived to the campus. "Yes, Esme, it was delicious."
There was a something off about Esme. Leah looked at her face carefully. The woman was breathtaking. Small features and delicate body wrapped in sweet demeanor. When she smiled, she did resemble July Andrews, and when she moved, her body danced in soft curves spreading around the aura of femininity and care.
But her attempts at care too disconnected from reality to be true. She seemed tied to her empty house, and Leah have never seen her outside the house. Esme, the maternal figure to the household, living the life of Stanford housewives, Esme, who dedicated decades of her empty life to this mock of family.
Esme smiled, "I happy you liked it," her eyes sparkled with excitement, "I know I did not ask before, but I made you another lunch, do you mind?" The attentiveness in her voice made Leah vary, "Oh, I know you must think of me strange, but I really find pleasure in cooking."
Leah stood ready to decline the offer. It was creepy and purely wrong for her as a wolf to be fed by a vampire. Her pride would not allow for that.
But then again, Esme stood in front of her, in the middle of this empty quiet house. She wore a white apron tidily wrapped around her blue dress, her smile somehow desperate for acceptance. In this moment, Leah felt sad. Perhaps a little grateful, but mostly overwhelmed by how the vampire tried to play out her dreams of warmth and motherly affections. Fuck the pride, "Sure. Thank you for the thought."
Esme beamed. Her new lunch smelled of Canadian bacon and fresh tomatoes. Leah smiled as politely as she could with a neat lunch bag in her hand.
Esme kept smiling.
The silence between them slowly grew awkward.
000
"I am ready, Esme." Jasper's voice rezoned in the house.
Thank gods, thought Leah. "I'm parked right outside," she looked up at Jasper descending the stairs and stammered.
And then her mind went blank.
She always knew that vampires were abnormally beautiful, and that they move in a less clumsy way than the majority of the human population. Or that their behavior tunes itself to become the most sexually entrancing and alluring to any human. It was easy to accept as a simple an evolutionary adaptation, like wings in birds or opposable thumb in primates.
Jasper, however, took this all to a whole different level. His bright skin sparkling only lightly in the morning sun, like pearls shimmering their beauty. Clothes, which on anyone else would pass only as average, highlighted his frame to maximum.
His movements, precise and balanced in his masculinity, carried specific sense of focus as he approached her. Staring at her as if nothing else existed, he stopped just a step from her.
Leah was at awe of his beauty.
"I hoped we would take my car. It's easier to navigate on these roads." He spoke, "have a good day, Esme."
And then he walked right past her, opened the doors, and left leaving Leah behind.
And Leah stood there for a fraction of a second, motionless. Because if he decided to pounce on her at this moment, and to rip the veins of her neck apart, she probably would do nothing. She probably would stand there staring at his golden eyes, hoping he would look at her for a second longer.
The sound of an engine awaked her. She shook her head like a wet dog.
Fuckin' vampires, she thought and walked out of the house, reflecting light so it blinds people. I couldn't even see straight. Next time, I better stand with my back to light, there is no way he could blind me then.
000
Jasper's car was not what she really expected. While Jacob was telling them the tales of Rosalie's red Lamborghini and Edward's silver Volvo, Leah expected something truly overpriced and shiny, and that had little utility among snowfalls in Washington. Surprised, she recognized Prius for what it was, a three-year-old white car with heavy scratches on a right fender.
Jasper was sitting inside, his hands holding the steering wheel. She entered the car carefully, and observed his knuckles becoming even whiter. She stopped her movements.
"Please, sit." His voice was surprisingly polite, but he did not say anything else.
Once inside, she placed her bag and lunch on the back seat, careful of not touching him during her maneuvers. Strapping the seat belts, she noticed Esme standing in the front doors. She did not smile, just stared. Leah was sure she also forgot to breath.
Leah waved a little and Esme became animated again. The car moved from the driveway.
000
The classes moved slower that day. Although it was strange to be back to school, every little detail made Leah feel more alive. The assignments and lists of readings, the greatness of the library and crowds of students laughing and talking aloud. She could not get enough of the college atmosphere, heavy with knowledge and at the same time playful and lively. She almost felt that she became a part of that life, almost. Jasper's solemn presence kept her aware of her real purpose here.
He did not argue, he did not start talks. Attentive to her needs, he followed her to the library and computer labs. He avoided any human contact, even as students clearly tried to strike a conversation or get to know him. In classes he always chose an empty row of seats or solitary table to sit at. Yet, he made sure to stay close to Leah.
Even when studying in parks or library, he sat stayed close to her turning his back on others.
And yet, Leah could not help noticing the stares others were giving him. She knew these kinds of glazes, full of desire and interest. With only one of his smiles, he could persuade them to do anything for him, anything. She grinded her jaw.
000
The classes for the day passed, with her basis of law class being probably the highlight of her life. Taught by an elderly gentleman dressed in dark blue suit, the class opened the new world to her.
The elements of law, its divisions and sections, so orderly and intricate in their design, grown over decades and enriched by thousands of cases. And yet, offering white spaces and shadowy channels between them to allow anyone with enough knowledge to use them as an everyday tool. She could imagine herself studying and growing, arguing cases and appealing old laws. Her daydreams found a new direction.
The realization grew within her, and when the class was over, she was sure. It was not a childhood dream. Studying law was her adult goal. She tried to keep her excitement down and push it back under her skin. She had to, at least for a while when she proved herself that she was good at it. At least for a while to keep Sue at bay and avoid her questions. A while, that would allow her to balance her life between studying and guarding the silent vampire next to her.
A vampire that watched her right then. She stood up gathering her books. He kept staring. "What?" Her voice was not kind.
He stood up shrugging. Than turned around to stop next to the exit, patiently waiting for her.
000
The way back home was as quiet as the day before. She became sleepy halfway and struggled to stay awake.
"Thank you." His voice awoken her.
"Your welcome?" The vampire was as crazy as the one from the morning.
"For what you did earlier." He did not look at her, "I know you didn't want to take the lunch, I can understand that. Thank you for accepting it, she…" he stopped half way. But to Leah it was the most interesting conversation she has with Jasper since...well, ever.
"She seemed genuine?" She offered and Jasper nodded.
"She is. She just…" he did not finish again, and Leah grew frustrated.
"Desperate?" She clearly had a thing for finishing sentences of others.
"No," he countered slowly, "it's just that she lives to make others feel happy, and the family lately is not very…" he shook his head a little. "She cannot feel the emotions of others and sometimes does not understand them. It makes her anxious. So, if there is any change in the family, she becomes anxious. You being acceptant of her made her feel needed. The family forgets about this sometimes."
Leah nodded in understanding.
"You felt it too, didn't you?" His question has a clear meaning.
When she did not respond he added, "Something within her…it feels like death all over again when she is alone."
"You can feel her?"
"I can feel anyone, did not you know?"
She looked at him carefully, "No, I didn't. Can you feel me?"
He did answer, his hands on the steering wheel and his eyes on the road, "I can feel anyone, Leah. Anyone."
She didn't know what say to that.
She knew how it was to feel and hear emotions of the pack. From sexual urges to hunger and rage, she experienced them as they projected all flavors and colors of their feelings. She thought of Esme. How much sadness did he feel just though this one little vampire? At least she could turn it all of when phasing into a human again. She sighted, suddenly tired again. With the end of the conversation, her mind wandered off.
She thought of her home.
000
When she arrived at the house, it was around seven in the evening, and she was there alone. She felt at loss, strangely aware that she missed something important, but not sure what it was. She checked her pockets for ID and credit cards, her keys were in place, and her cell phone was on. And yet, in the quiet emptiness of her house, she felt restless.
It must be the house, she thought, I'm not used to it being so empty…
Heating the leftovers of her dinner, she read through her notes from Monday's classes. Hoping to calm down her jittery feelings with a warm drink, she found a mug and reached for her favorite brand of tea.
Twenty minutes later, the notebooks lay forgotten around her on the couch. With her pj's soft and old blanked comfy around her body, she sipped warm tea.
The smell of bergamot around her, she dreamed that one day, she would share her feelings with only one person. Somebody to hold and whisper to in the middle of the night. Someone who would touch her hair gently and kissed her skin in her sleep.
Too sleepy to focus, she smiled. Her dreams came next, soft and promising but too unfocused to remember them in the morning.
She kept on dreaming.
000
