A/N: Ersatz PM, cause this reviewer didn't log in...
Subject: REVIEW
TO: Guest
From: Winter Tiger
Actually, no, you didn't offend ;) This doesn't really have a plot, I think, but it's just like a "Ooh, I can make Katniss go on adventures with a unicorn" type of thing. Thanks for your review anyways!
Katniss thought she was a tomato, but really, it was a hallucination of poisonous bee-stinger-juice (Get it? Tracker-Jacker Venom?) made by Effie's henchmen/women. They dragged her behind some bushes and proceeded to tie her to a pole. Then they started dancing an ancient voodoo/Indian/Crazy People dance, howling like howler monkeys. Being attacked by carnivorous rabbits. Who, in turn, are being attacked by Rhinos and driven mad by pain which is why they turned carnivorous in the first place.
"Death to the humans!" the rabbits would squeal, and then launch themselves at the monkeys. They are avid believers of the "Evolution Theory."
Anyways... After their ritualistic dance, the henchmen/women radioed Effie but... she DIDN'T ANSWER...
"OMG! I thnk we shld go 2 sve her!" said a henchwomen who only spoke in txt slang.
"Bark!" agreed a henchman who only spoke Dog.
The whole group ran off into the sun that just happened to be setting in the direction they were going.
Meanwhile, in Katniss's mind...
PleaseDon'tEatMePleaseDon'tEatMe...Actually...
PleaseDon'tEvenUprootMeFromTheSoilWhen ceICame...
What the heck? Whence? I must be hallucinating...
And with that, she broke free of the hallucination! Muahahahahaha!
"Now," Katniss said to herself, "I must go save the world!" As you can see, she was still hallucinating. Muahaha..ha..ha..poop.
"Roll, gurl," Katniss muttered to herself. "C'mon..." She was going at 8 miles per day now. Which means 4 miles per half-a-day. Which means 2 miles per 6-hours. And then 1 mile per 3-hours. So she was going at 1/3 miles per hour! Yay for math (not)!
By the time she got back to the yoga place, an hour had passed. It should have still been Halloween, but for some reason the air was full of the delicious smell of Turkeys cooking and pies baking.
"What the heck?" Katniss asked herself in Tomato-ese. It involved a lot of rustling noises and cheesy growing noses and also lots of thumps.
"Ah, Katniss, there you are! You've been gone for days and it's Thanksgiving now!" said her mom. "I was so sad, I though you were'nt going to come for dinner!"
"Again, what the heck?"
"YOU ROLLED THROUGH A TIME PORTAL, GUUUURRRLLL."
"Dammit," Katniss muttered to herself. "The unicorn's still here."
And then: "What time portal?"
"THE ONE WITH THE SPARKLES AND GOLDEN FRAM AROUND OUT. DUR."
"Oooohhhh. That time portal. Well, let's eat! I'm famished!"
They came upon a huge table in someone's backyard laden with awesome yummy food. Turkey, drinks, desserts, pies, etc...
And then they ate all of it and ran off to the next families' table.
"Thanksgiving is about giving!" Katniss would shout at the gnomes, and then stuff her face. "Thanks for giving us this foooood! Munch munch munch..."
A/N: I'm hungry... It's only a week late! Yay!
