"This is mental!" I exclaimed, dropping my Potions textbook onto the table in the common room with a loud thud. A few people looked over at me, but I ignored them.

It was the beginning of December and Fred, George and I were lined up on the common room couch in front of the fire. Angelina and Lee were both in arm chairs while Katie and Alicia sprawled on the floor.

"What's mental?" Katie asked absentmindedly as she continued to write out her Charms essay.

"You are," Angelina deadpanned, flipping through her Transfiguration book as she dangled her legs over the side of the armchair.

Katie looked up briefly only to stick her tongue out at Angelina before going back to her homework. "What's going on, Liles?" she asked again.

"Potions is what's going on," I muttered, resting my elbow on my knee and my chin on my hand as I let out a huff. "Fractions. They're back and they're trying harder than ever to kill me."

"Fitzy, you need to calm down," Fred said with a laugh. I shot him a glare at how nonchalant he seemed to be about my suffering. If he wanted to be so relaxed about his own work, that was fine, but I had to keep my grades up. Mum was going to ask for updates once I got home for the Christmas holidays. Knowing her, she'd actually ask to look at all my graded work to check up on me. I was stressed to say the least. I couldn't even manage a smile at Fred's use of his relatively new nickname for me.

He'd been calling me Fitz or Fitzy for about a month and a half now, in addition to Liles and sometimes just Lie. I didn't mind any of the nicknames, actually. Dad and Julian called me Liles, so I was used to it, but no one else called me Fitz or Fitzy except Fred and occasionally George.

"I can't calm down, Fred. Mum wants to make sure I'm getting good marks in all of my classes."

"Which you are," Fred answered calmly. Instead of doing his homework, he was shuffling through his collection of chocolate frog cards. Honestly, how was he not panicking by now? I knew for a fact that he still had homework to finish and he wasn't even doing it!

"All except Potions," I said. "I'm barely passing and my mother is going to murder me unless I bring up my marks in about three weeks. Besides, I don't know how you can be so calm about this. You're not much better than me in this class. It's your worst one as well."

"But I think I am better than you," Fred answered, examining a card with a dried chocolate smudge on it.

"But not by much as I've just said," I shrugged.

"You know, Lie" George piped up, "I could tutor you if you'd like. I'm actually decent at Potions. Fred's the one who's good at Transfiguration and Charms and I'm the opposite."

"I've noticed, actually," I said, "but even the professional tutor my Mum hired couldn't teach me fractions. Thanks for offering though."

"Hold on," Fred laughed, sitting up straight and setting down his cards. "Your mother hired a professional tutor?"

"Yeah," I said, looking over at him. "Julian and I had one starting when we were about seven or eight and the deal was that we continue with her until we left for Hogwarts. She basically just taught us all the general stuff we'd have to learn before coming here. Writing, and basic math. Dad was the one who taught us to read. Unfortunately, I never quite mastered fractions and we're obviously supposed to know them already for potions. And Snape isn't going to do a review session anytime soon, that's for sure." I rolled my eyes and looked back at Fred, who was staring at me open-mouthed. "What?" I asked, looking from him to my other friends, who all looked just as surprised as he did. "What?" I asked again, raising my chin from my hands.

"You had your own tutor," George said, "that your mother hired."

"Yeah," I said, blushing. "I'm taking it you didn't. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have acted so surprised. I mean, I didn't think everyone had one, but…." I trailed off and shrugged. "Who taught you guys all that stuff? Your parents?"

"Yeah, in our house it was mostly just my mother," Fred answered. "She taught all of our siblings."

Now it was my turn to blink in surprise. "Your mother taught all of you? All seven of you?"

Fred nodded. "All seven of us."

"Well, some of you must have been really young…I just mean, well, for instance, your older brother…Bill right? When he was, say, nine—"

"Charlie was seven, Percy was three, George and I were a year old, and Mum would be getting pregnant with Ron that year."

"How did she ever manage?" I asked. "Finding things for Charlie and Percy to do, taking care of one year old twins, teaching Bill all that he needed to know…and doing all the other things around the house?" I shook my head at him. "I need to meet your mother because she sounds like a saint."

Fred actually laughed. "She'd love you for saying that and actually appreciating it. Not that we don't appreciate her at home, but apparently she doesn't always seem to think we do." He paused. "We've never had enough money for a tutor if that's what you're wondering though. I mean, Dad's not all that high-up in the ministry, but he does love where he is. With seven kids, though…it gets tough."

"I don't care why you didn't have a tutor," I told him. "I like Miss Sullivan and all, but I'd much rather have had one of my parents teach me." I shrugged. "Mum didn't have time, though. And I don't think she wanted Dad to do it. She wanted it done to her own standard."

"I can't believe your family could even afford a private tutor," Lee snorted. "Do you have a maid, too? Or a house elf or something?"

"Lee, that's a rude question!" Angelina exclaimed.

"Yeah, you can't just ask people those things," Katie chimed in.

"I didn't mean to sound rude or bitter or anything," Lee said sheepishly, glancing at me. "Sorry if it came across that way."

I shook my head. "No, it's okay, I know you weren't trying to be mean. And no, we don't have a maid or a house elf. My dad used to do most of the cleaning when he and my mother were together and Julian and I would help. But then after they got divorced, Julian and I did it ourselves. Now, I don't know what Mum's doing. She actually may have hired someone considering I'm not home during the school year and Julian's been going to my grandparents' house." I shrugged. "I never really minded doing it. It was something to do while we waited for Miss Sullivan to come over."

"It doesn't sound like you ever did much," Fred said, glancing at me.

"Yeah, well we were restricted," I said, almost curtly, "and it was just me and Julian. I don't have a lot of siblings like you do."

Fred nodded and let the subject drop, which I was grateful for. Sometimes talking about my family became too much. I felt like it was hard to explain how we had operated all those years. It was hard to explain my mother and her rules and it was hard to talk about the divorce. My friends' families were all so different from mine. It was easy for them to talk about their families. Why couldn't it have been the same for me? I wasn't embarrassed or anything, don't get me wrong, but things were just different for me growing up and I sometimes felt that my friends didn't quite understand even though they tried to and even though they were accepting.

Amazingly, I had already told my friends a lot about my life. Like I said, my life was different from theirs and they didn't always understand, but they made an attempt and they still liked me for me. Which was why I felt okay releasing that information little by little. But I didn't want to do it all at once for sure. That might just turn out to be a little too much for them to handle.

I had also learned a lot about the lives of my friends in the past three and a half months. For instance, George had broken his nose when he was eight, which explained why there was a bump in it. Apparently, he had fallen off of his broom trying to fly in a loop. According to him, it was kind of awesome, even though he cried (a fact Fred had been all too eager to add). To me, he just sounded lucky that he didn't break anything else besides his nose.

In addition, I learned that Angelina already had a goal of becoming Quidditch captain. She wasn't even on the team yet and she was already aiming for captain. And after that, she was going to play professionally. And if that didn't work out, she was going to become a professor. Of which subject, she wasn't sure yet; she was flexible, apparently. But even so, she had everything all planned out, backup plans included. Angelina's organization skills—about everything—were another thing I had learned about her.

While I did feel very close to all of my new friends already, I felt the closest of all to the twins and Angelina. It had only been a few months, but I already considered them to be three of my best friends. The twins had also formed a close bond with Lee and Katie and Alicia had grown close as well. But, as I've said, we were all fairly close to each other too and had formed our own tight-knit group. I was actually almost dreading the Christmas holidays just because I wouldn't be seeing them. We were all going home for the two weeks we got off, so it wouldn't have made a difference if I had opted to stay at Hogwarts anyway. Not that I would, though. I was excited to see my family and officially tell them everything I could about Hogwarts, my new friends and just how happy I was.


"So, Liles, who are you going to spend Christmas with?" Angelina asked me halfway through the ride home. We had bought another large stash of candy from the trolley witch and were splitting it amongst ourselves.

"My mother," I said, munching on a cauldron cake. "She has a Christmas party every year and I'm expected to help prepare for it as well as attend and tell all of her co-workers just how amazing I'm doing and make my mother proud," I said, letting out a breath. "I'm just glad Christmas fell on a weekend that I'd be with my mother anyway. If it was my dad's weekend with me and Julian, I'd bet anything that my mother would make us stay with her instead. She'd need our help and I also don't think we're allowed to skip the party."

"Sounds like a boring party already," Fred snorted, digging into a box of Bertie Bott's every flavored beans.

"Oh, you have no idea," I told him. "Julian and I have been attending for as long as I can remember. We were always expected to be picture perfect. One wrong move and we'd have to face my mother's wrath. She's terrifying when she's angry."

"Sounds like our mum," Fred said, gesturing to himself and George. "It's not pretty."

"No, but my mother…not only will she yell, but it's how she says things too…and her wording…and how she'll look at you for days after. As if you've disgraced her just by stealing one chocolate chip cookie before dinner." I paused. "I know this from experience."

Everyone was silent after I finished speaking and I instantly blushed and sunk down lower in my seat. This was why I had never been all that keen on giving anyone any information but the basics. Except things seemed to keep spilling out.

"Was that…too much?" I asked nervously.

"No, it was totally accurate," Tess snorted. She looked around at the others. "Her mother scares me and I'm not even her kid."

"Well, I know you know how she is," I said. "But I don't know if it was too much for anyone else."

"No," Angelina said at once, "it wasn't. It's just…wow. She sounds tough."

"She is," I replied. "I do love her though, I don't want anyone to think I don't. But she's just—we don't have much of a relationship."

Nobody said anything after that. I expect they didn't know how to respond. And oddly, that was okay with me. It didn't make me feel as awkward as I expected. I did worry that I was painting a bad picture of her. That's why I wanted to emphasize that she wasn't all bad. Because she wasn't. Tough, yes. Driven, definitely. Warm and fuzzy, not so much. But maybe that was okay. She had given me and Julian a lot over the years. She provided for us, gave us a place to live, and gave us food, even if it was mostly just the pieces of a meal that Julian and I had to actually put together.

"Is she picking you up from the station?" Katie asked.

"Probably," I nodded.

"Can't wait to meet her, then," Fred said energetically. I assumed he was being a little sarcastic, but I actually couldn't tell for sure.

All too soon, we were pulling into King's Cross and the train was coming to a stop. I sighed as I reached up and pulled my trunk off of the overhead rack and followed my friends off of the train. Alicia, Angelina, Katie and Lee saw their parents almost right away and actually introduced the rest of us to them. We ended up talking for a bit each time before saying goodbye and heading our separate ways.

"Oh, look, there's Mum," Fred said, pointing. "Looks like Percy's already caught up with her. I don't know where Charlie is, though. Probably still with his friends, taking their sweet time."

I gazed towards where Fred was pointing to see a short woman with red hair standing beside Percy and hugging him tightly. There were also a little boy and a little girl next to her, both with red hair, that I assumed to be Ginny and Ron. "What, does everyone in your family have red hair?" I snorted.

Fred nodded. "Yeah, didn't we tell you that?"

I laughed, thinking he was making a joke again, but stopped when I saw the serious look he was giving me. "Hold on, your entire family really does have red hair?"

He nodded and let out a laugh of his own. "Merlin, George, I can't believe we forgot to mention that."

"Well, now you know," George said, grinning at me and Tess.

At that point we had gotten close enough to Mrs. Weasley for her to spot the twins and when she did, she let out a happy squeal and clasped her hands together. The moment they were close enough for her to reach them, she pulled them into a tight hug. I blinked at the scene. I had never gotten that kind of reaction from my mother. Ever. She wasn't the type for squealing, or even hugging really. Maybe it was because I had never thought about it much in the first place, but for some reason, it now struck me as sad and I felt a lump form in my throat, but I managed to swallow it as Mrs. Weasley turned to me and Tess.

"Oh, Percy mentioned in his first letter home that you two had made new friends!" she exclaimed, smiling broadly at me and Tess.

"This is Lilah and Tess," Fred said, gesturing to first me, then Tess. "We made other friends too, but they left with their parents already."

"Lilah and Tess! What beautiful names!" Mrs. Weasley said. And with that, she stepped forward and hugged us both. I was once again taken by surprise. As far as I could remember, I had never been hugged by a woman that I had just met. At least, not this genuinely. "It's lovely to meet you both," she continued as she released us. "I'm Molly Weasley, Fred and George's mother. And this is Ron and Ginny." She gestured to the two children beside her, proving my earlier assumptions correct.

"It's lovely to meet you," I said to Mrs. Weasley before turning to look at Ron and Ginny. Ron was munching on a chocolate frog as he stared at us silently. Ginny, however, was smiling at us. "I've heard a lot about you two from your brothers," I said.

"Yeah, Ron, guess what?" George said. "Lilah has a brother named Julian who's your age. I haven't met him yet, but if he's anything like Lilah, then he's great. Maybe you can sit with him on the train when you finally go to Hogwarts."

Ron shrugged. "Yeah, maybe," he said, finishing his chocolate frog by sticking the rest of it into his mouth.

"I like your bracelet," Ginny told me, pointing to the one my dad had given me. "And yours too," she added, noticing the one Tess had on. "They're the same, but with different stones!" she exclaimed.

"Thanks," Tess said, holding up her wrist. "They're our birthstones."

"Lilah Michelle Fitzgerald," said a familiar voice from behind me. I immediately gasped and spun around to see my dad leaning against a pillar a few feet away, smiling at me. Uncle Jesse was standing beside him, grinning just as widely.

"Dad!" I exclaimed, running towards him and flinging myself into his arms. He caught me and spun me around once before setting me down and holding me at arm's length.

"Merlin's beard," he said, "you've gotten taller in four months, haven't you?"

"Possibly," I answered with a shrug, as I turned to hug Uncle Jesse. "But the important question is what are you doing here? It's not my weekend to stay with you."

"I had to come and see you get off the train. Besides, I was hoping to convince your mother to let me take you and Julian out for a few hours. I know her annual party is tomorrow and I also know you'll be expected to help out every chance you get, but," he shrugged, "I also think you need a bit of a break. So, hopefully," he crossed his fingers, "she'll let you come."

"Doubt it," I sighed, "but it's worth a shot." Suddenly, I perked up. "Come on, I want you to meet my new friends!"

"You made friends!" Dad pretended to wipe tears from his eyes dramatically.

I giggled and grabbed his hand. "Come on."

I led him back to the Weasleys, who were standing where I had left them, greeting Charlie, who had just met up with them as well.

"This is my dad," I told them proudly, when they noticed me standing there again. Tess and Uncle Jesse had also reappeared at our sides and I introduced Uncle Jesse as well.

"It's lovely to meet you both," Mrs. Weasley said, shaking my dad's hand first, then Uncle Jesse's. "I'm Molly Weasley. From what I hear, your daughters have become quite friendly with Fred and George."

"Oh, so these are the same Fred and George you've been writing about in nearly every letter you've sent me!" Dad exclaimed, shaking hands with the twins.

"Dad," I groaned, rolling my eyes and fighting back a smile. It was true that Fred and George usually came up in a lot of my letters, but Dad didn't have to broadcast that fact to almost their whole family.

"These are my sons Charlie, Percy and Ron," Mrs. Weasley continued, "and my daughter, Ginny."

"Great to meet you all," Dad said with his huge trademark grin as he continued to shake everyone's hands.

"Lilah told us that you, er…." George narrowed his eyes in thought as he looked up at the ceiling. "She told us that you're a, uh…a stand-up chameleon!"

Clearly, Dad thought that was hysterical and he obviously couldn't contain himself from letting out a loud laugh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, but it's actually a stand-up comedian."

"Oh, yeah…sorry," George said as his ears turned pink.

"Oh, no need to be sorry," Dad said, brushing off the apology with a wave of his hand. "It was a nice attempt. In fact, if being a stand-up chameleon paid the bills, I most definitely would have become one."

"Somehow I don't doubt that," said a clipped voice from behind us. I turned to see my mother standing there, Julian at her side. She stood there, eyebrows raised, giving Dad a look that said she wished he would shut his mouth and stop acting like a child. Clearly, she could still suffer from second hand embarrassment if she wasn't married to him anymore.

I met my brother's eyes right then and grinned as he catapulted himself at me and hugged me so hard, I thought I'd fall right on my back. "Lilah!" he exclaimed. "I missed you!"

"I missed you, too, Jules!" I exclaimed, hugging him back.

"Guess what?" he asked eagerly. "Dad's been reading some of The Tales of Beedle the Bard to me every weekend I go to his house, just like he used to do for both of us…except I don't remember because I was too little."

"That's exciting!" I said with a grin. It was exciting, too and I was glad that Dad was reading to Julian again. He hadn't really gotten the chance to read to us much once he had taught us to read on our own. "Does he still do all the different voices?"

"Of course," Dad scoffed.

"It's never any fun without the voices," Fred said, looking at Julian and smiling. Julian smiled back shyly and I gave him a gentle pat on the back.

I saw Mum roll her eyes just then, which made me mad. I knew for a fact that she loved all of Dad's different voices. When I was little—younger than Julian, even—I can remember Dad making her laugh hysterically as he switched between voices and impersonations. Now, apparently, everything he did was too silly and too childish for her.

"Problem, Joanna?" Dad asked. Clearly, he had noticed Mum's eye roll as well.

"No, of course not," she said, pursing her lips. I fought the urge to sigh. Of course there was. Mum just didn't want to fight in the middle of a train station or in front of the Weasleys, which was a good choice. Now, though, she seemed to have fully registered that the Weasleys were standing there because we had been talking to them and she was looking them up and down.

My stomach clenched and I found myself fighting a scowl as I saw the look of distaste that appeared on her face as she took in the Weasley's clothes, which weren't dirty or anything, but definitely not as put together, as pristine, or as new as my mother's clothes. I saw her take in Ron shoving another chocolate frog into his mouth and purse her lips even more, then frown as she noticed the dirt he had smudged on his cheek. But she seemed to quickly become aware of her expression and it slipped off her face at once, only to be replaced by an overly fake smile.

"I'm Joanna Matthews, Lilah and Julian's mother," she said, her voice way too chipper. She had gone back to her maiden name almost immediately after the divorce, something that seemed to bother me more than it did dad. He had simply shrugged and said that they weren't married anymore, so it didn't matter.

Mrs. Weasley leaned forward and took mum's outstretched hand. I couldn't tell if she actually bought my mother's exaggerated smile and overly chipper, too-friendly voice or if she was just being polite in return, but she smiled widely at my mother.

"Molly Weasley," she said. She turned and started introducing her children and I saw my mother surreptitiously wipe her hand on her skirt. I could have died right there and then.

I looked around to see if any of the Weasleys had noticed what my mother had done, but they didn't appear to, which was a relief. If they had seen, I would've had to run away and never show my face around here again. I'd have to transfer to Beauxbatons or something, which was a shame, considering how much I liked Hogwarts.

"And, last but not least, these are Fred and George," Mrs. Weasley finished, gesturing to the twins. "I'm sure Lilah's told you all about them."

I didn't blame Mrs. Weasley for believing that, especially after Dad had confessed that he knew about them from my letters, but the truth was that I had only mentioned the twins to Mum once or twice in my letters to her. While I had gone into more detail about my friends with Dad, I had only mentioned names to my mother. I'd bet all my money she wouldn't even remember.

"I think Lilah mentioned something," she said with her silly fake smile that proved she didn't actually remember. She just didn't want to look like an idiot. She nodded at Fred and George. "Nice to meet you two."

They smiled at her—genuinely, mind you—before both sticking their hands out for her to shake.

Mum pursed her lips even more as she peered down at their hands. "Yes, well," she said, shaking first Fred's hand, then George's by only the tips of their fingers. "We'd best be going now. I have a lot to do what with the party tomorrow…."

It was then that I noticed Julian now standing slightly behind me, peering out at the Weasleys in interest as if he wanted to say hello, but was too shy. He could be that way sometimes. A little shy until people really got to know him. I knew this because of all the Christmas parties Mum had. It was obvious Julian didn't like socializing with those people and it was obvious that it was harder for him. He never said much unless he was prompted, which usually made Mum later and tell him he needed to engage in more conversation. It was ridiculous.

"Wait," I said now, pulling him so he was standing at my side. I draped an arm around his shoulders and grinned at him. "This is Julian," I said. "He's my little brother and he's nine." I looked at Ron and nudged Julian towards him slightly. "We've told you two about each other already. You're the same age."

Ron and Julian just looked at each other for a moment before Ron asked, through a mouthful of chocolate frog, "Do you collect chocolate frog cards?"

Julian nodded excitedly. "I do, but sometimes it's hard because I have about a million Dumbledore cards and I can never find a Ravenclaw card. She's the last one I need until I have all four of the house founders!"

"Oh, I have a couple of her," Ron said, swallowing his candy. "I can give you one if you want."

"Sure!" Julian exclaimed, any evidence of shyness suddenly gone. "And I can give you a Dumbledore card if you need it."

"Trust me, he doesn't," Fred scoffed. "Everyone has plenty of Dumbledore cards."

"Yeah, and every time Ron here gets one, the whole world knows," George continued.

"Dumbledore again!" they both said, imitating Ron almost perfectly as they pretended to toss down a pile of cards.

"Hey, it's not like you two do the same thing or anything," I told them with a smile. "Honestly, I wonder how much poor Dumbledore has ended up on the floor because of you three."

The twins laughed before turning back to Julian. "So, you're the amazing Julian we've heard so much about," Fred said.

Julian nodded exuberantly. "That's me!"

"Fred and George Weasley," the twins said together. "Your sister's newest best friends."

"I thought Tess was her best friend," Julian said, wrinkling his nose as Tess giggled.

"She still is," I told him, "but nobody said you can't have more than one best friend."

"Oh," Julian said, his expression changing to show that he was thinking that over.

"Well, now that we've all met," Mum said hurriedly, clapping her hands together. "I really need to get Lilah and Julian home. We've got a lot to do in order to get ready for the party tomorrow."

"Hold on," Dad spoke up. "I was wondering if I could maybe take them for a few hours today since I won't be able to spend Christmas with them..."

Mum opened her mouth as if to immediately say no, absolutely not, before closing it again and glancing at the Weasleys. She put her fake smile back on and looked back at Dad. "I'd love to say yes, Chris, you know that, but I really do need all the help I can get. There are so many guests coming over tomorrow and I've been swamped. Plus, despite it being Christmas, I still have a lot of actual work to do. Just because you get it off doesn't mean we all do."

Dad looked away and I could see that he had stuck his tongue into his cheek and was literally chewing on it a bit as if he were trying not to retaliate. "Fine," he said. "I figured you'd say that, but I thought maybe I'd ask."

Mum simply nodded before smiling at the Weasleys again. "Lovely to have met you," she said. And without really waiting for a reply, she turned to me. "Say good bye to your friends and your father and let's get going," she said. "You too, Julian." I sighed. She was so anxious to leave and part of me thought it wasn't completely because of her Christmas party preparations.

I said goodbye to the Weasleys—Mrs. Weasley gave me another hug to my surprise—before turning to Tess and Uncle Jesse and saying goodbye to them as well. And finally, all that was left was saying goodbye to Dad.

"I'll see you next weekend, okay kiddo?" he asked, pulling me into a huge hug.

"Why can't I see you on Christmas?" I asked. I knew why, but I wanted to ask him anyway in hopes that he would give me a different answer.

"Because you need to stay with your mother," he said. "This weekend is your weekend with her and it's worked out so that you spend every other weekend with me. This isn't my weekend. That's how it is."

"But I don't even get to see my own dad on Christmas," I muttered. "Are you coming to the Christmas party? I don't see why you couldn't be invited. I mean, you're my and Julian's dad. You should be able to come."

Dad half-smiled. "I don't know, Liles. I don't think I'm invited this year. I certainly wasn't last year."

"I'm inviting you," I said. I didn't understand why he couldn't just come. It's not like Mum would cause a scene. Not in frontof her work friends at least. But at the same time, she'd be mad that he did show up and get people talking about why he was there if they were divorced. As if they couldn't still be friends or at least civil to each other.

"Let's just plan for spending next weekend together, okay?" Dad asked sympathetically.

I chewed on my lip and looked away. "Fine," I said.

"Lilah," my mother said, even more forcefully than the last time. "Come on. We're leaving right now."

I gave my dad one last hug before turning and jogging over to Julian and my mother, who turned and began walking away before I even reached her.

"Can't you slow down?" I asked breathlessly as I jogged a little faster to keep up.

"No," she answered, her tone clipped. "I have a lot to do and so do you and Julian for that matter. The party is in exactly…" she glanced at her watch, "thirty one and a half hours. We have no time to waste."

I sighed as I glanced at Julian, who rolled his eyes. I smiled. Despite everything that had happened, my mother was still worrying incessantly about this party and I knew that Julian and I would be expected to not only help out, but attend the party and behave perfectly. Make her look good and all that. And also show we were doing just as great, if not better, without my dad in the picture. It was scary how well I knew my mother and how much I understood, even if she didn't think I did. But no matter how much I was kind of dreading the party, I knew that Julian and I had each other and that would be the one thing that would make it manageable.