Disclaimer: The plot I own. The rest is I do not. All related themes, characters, places etc, are purely coincidental


AN: For the first time, I'm letting Bella speak. This is one moment where she doesn't mind sharing her thoughts. Rejoice as I give you a peek at Bella's mind and feelings. I'm very hesitant and protective of Bella's thoughts - I swear I almost didn't go through this.

This takes place minutes before the wedding, the same time as the classic "father and groom pre-wedding talk" from the previous chapter with Carlisle and Edward.

Bella's all dressed and prepped up by Alice and Rosalie. Esme stayed for a while here before speeding off to Edward.


Walking closer and closer was Bella… my Bella…

I smiled so widely it hurt. My eyes never tore away from her and neither did my breath from my lungs.

When they finally arrived in front of me, Angel let go of Bella, lifted her veil and gave her a kiss on the forehead. After that he placed the veil back then lifted Bella's hand and took my hand.

"She's all yours." He whispered. I nodded then he placed Bella's hand on mine and I held her hand tightly. Angel took his place near Jasper opposite Alice and Rosalie.

Emmett harrumphed, and Bella and I broke from our gaze and looked at Emmett.

He grinned at us and started the ceremony, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"


Chapter 8: Bella's voice

Sigh.

Drawing up the plush curtains inside our hotel room I sigh at the dazzling sight of ashen snow falling amidst the shady palette of indigo and mauve of early morning sky. I made a mental note to paint this in the near future…

Here I was sitting on a white silk Victorian chair, garbed in white from head to toe, my kitschy yet chic netted veil and bouquet of fresh cut lilies simply tied with a cerulean satin ribbon resting on my dresser.

I took a peek at myself on the gargantuan mirror across from me and blushed a colorless blush seeing that Alice and Rosalie… my new sisters… and Esme, my new mother, did a spectacular job on someone like me.

It's not like I saw myself as unpretty but I just don't want the attention so much.

I sigh again as I looked back outside the window. Never in all my new existence have I dreamed of this day.

I closed my eyes and frowned a little as I thought back on sad memories… and ever unpredictable future…

I, Isabella Marie Swan should be living alone all throughout my existence. That was my fate… I shook my head… No… It should be my fate.

All my knowledge… all the things I've seen… the things I've done… all the things I couldn't do… all the choices that I made… my power….

I clenched my fists and opened my eyes slowly… all that… despite all that and things they still don't know… these people accepted me without as much as a simple hello.

Am I making the right choice?

My presence alone promotes unnecessary episodes for their well thought of and well built up life…

Yet –

Yet…

…I've never felt so safe and secure in my life.

Am I not allowed to have one selfish desire… one solitary request… one undeniable want and need in my life?

This.

Him.

Us.

Edward is everything I want in my existence.

I…

I truly love him.

With each passing day, the walls I've carefully built up to protect others from myself started to crumble and I grew softer… more dependent and it all feels good.

It's been too long that I thought of others before myself, I know I deserve one act of selfishness.

One thing for me.

But this one thing… no, one person was everything – is everything to me.

I would never forgive myself if something were to happen, not only to him but also for the whole… family.

I smiled. Yes, they see me as family. And after today, I will be one of them.

I just wish and hope that nothing would ruin this.

I can't possibly bear another heartache… another separation…

I can't bear it.

I shook my head.

I shan't bear it!

Sweeping around the room, I knew I would be alone for at least one more minute. The girls, after hours of preparing me were now getting ready themselves.

One minute is all I need.

…To clear the place.

I closed my eyes and concentrated as hard as I could. I swept every nook and cranny of the whole peninsula… searching for any signs of… intruders. It wasn't doing me any good to let my guard down.

It already happened twice. I know that I knew who was behind it but something… something was blocking my mind from remembering.

I know Angel wasn't being truthful about what happened during my missing three years. Something happened to me there. Or I did something… I shuddered at that thought.

Looking at my brother, at Angel, without a doubt he's my brother. But there was something about him that I didn't trust completely.

No one knew that it was me who was blocking his mind from penetrating Edward's mind too alongside mine. I could easily have blocked the rests' thoughts but it would be too conspicuous.

He was blocking me as well. Never did I think that blocking and not to mention, the power of suggestion could be the trait my brother carried over.

If he were indeed my brother, he would've carried over the power of stealing memories. He was good at making others forget.

But I missed him so terribly that I have no choice in my desperate wants to believe that he is indeed my brother.

This is my wedding though so whether it's really him or not I could care less.

All that matters is in a matter of minutes…

I'll be…

Isabella Marie Swan Masen Cullen

That's all that matters.

Everything else can wait.

I took a deep breath, still smiling but continued with my search. I felt relived that I saw nothing but as added precautions, I would place a wall of protection around us.

Knock. Knock.

I reeled back and shifted my position to that of a more relaxed one.

Angel's here

I smiled and with a wave of my hand, the lock opened and I saw my handsome amethyst-eyed brother looking at me with awe and love.

I chuckled and he snapped out of his daze and gave a half-smile.

I rose from my chair and greeted my brother with a warm hug. He stroked my hair.

"You look so beautiful my dear little sister." He murmured.

"Comes with the genes."

He chuckled then took a step back to look at me, studying my eyes, "Ready to go?"

I nodded and got pulled into another bear hug.

As I laid my head on my brother's chest I became worried again.

Please let this be Angel.


AN: One of my favorite chapters! There you go, a peek at Bella's mind!

What does she mean about 'all the things she knew, saw, did and didn't do?" Let's keep our fingers crossed for Edward and the family to find out about Bella's cryptic musings as they try to unravel more about Bella.

But the question in everyone's minds right now is will Bella and Edward finally tie the knot?

What do you think? Your thoughts may make all the difference on the matter at the succeeding chapters so come on and give a review. Thanks for reading! Stay tuned.

Margaux