VIII

Belle collapsed back against her husband's chest and didn't have the strength to protest as he conjured a clean wet cloth to wipe her mouth. A low pitiful moan sounded deep in her throat. "How much longer is this going to go on? How can I sustain our child if he won't let me keep anything down?" She took a cup of water from Rumpelstiltskin and rinsed her mouth out.

"Not much longer now, according to the book. Perhaps she just doesn't like what you've been eating? When I still lived with my aunties, they had a customer who couldn't eat anything with grapes. Aunt Elizabeth said the babe must not have liked them," he murmured softly, pressing a kiss to her temple. "It should start easing in the second trimester."

She shot him a look of surprise over her shoulder. "You've been reading the book?"

He grinned sheepishly. "I … ah … finished it last night. You know I don't sleep much."

"And instead of piddling in your workroom, you brushed up on childbirth." He'd also adhered to her pleas, staying with her all night so she could rest in his arms. She knew how difficult it was to remain still for so long, and it warmed her heart that he'd sacrificed an entire night's worth of work for her. How many times in Storybrooke had she been forced to drag him up out of his basement workshop to come to bed with her?

A dark one must work, dearie.

Belle glared at her imp companion and rolled her eyes. Oh, how she was looking forward to being rid of him.

"I want to be prepared."

She smiled, a genuine curling of her lips. It was rare these days. He helped her to her feet, so she could brush her teeth, taking it upon himself to clean up after her before carrying her back to bed. As he set her down onto the mattress, she hiccoughed a plume of pink smoke. "What the hell was that, Rumpel? That was not in the book!"

The imp clapped his hands gleefully. Oh, how delightful. The wee bairn has magic! Think of all the wonderful experiments he could conduct on you, pet.

She gnashed her teeth and ignored him. Her husband wouldn't even entertain the thought of putting a harmful hand on her. Of that she had no doubt and wouldn't even begin to let herself worry.

"Er …" he stammered, his fingers rubbing anxiously against his thumb. "Well, it wouldn't be, now would it? There's no way they could account for magical fetuses."

Belle groaned and laid back against her pillows, throwing an arm over her eyes. "With everything else going on, I hadn't allowed myself to think of our baby manifesting your powers. Oh, gods! I'm going to go into the nursery one morning and scrape him down off the ceiling. He's going to enchant his toys! There's going to be little figurines running amok."

"Now, dearest, I'm sure it's not going to be as bad as –" Her narrow-eyed glare cut him off mid-sentence. Of course, she'd be blaming him. "I'll … um … I'll go see about tea, and then we can go see the enchantress."

Belle bit her lip, calling out to him as he made it to the door. It wasn't his fault. She'd known what she was getting into when she married a sorcerer. There was always that chance their children would inherit their father's magical abilities. She was acting like a bloody shrew. "Rumpel?"

His wary stare met hers briefly before settling on his feet. "Yes?"

She held out her hand to him, beckoning him back to her side. When he sat down next to her, she threw her arms around his neck and pressed her face to his throat, taking him by surprise. His eyes slammed shut, reveling in the feel of her in his arms as they closed tightly around her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to think I blamed you. I was just frightened."

He sighed breathily, burying his face against her hair as a wave of pure contentment washed over him. "Don't be afraid, my love. Whatever challenges our child may bring, I will be by your side. We'll face them together."

Belle frowned, pressing closer, but it was as though she were hugging a statue. Rumpelstiltskin was so tense, so afraid to do the wrong thing, and it saddened her greatly. They were finally making progress, and she didn't want him to be scared to touch her. She wasn't ready to hop into bed with him for a session of mind-blowing sex, but there was no reason they couldn't indulge in a little affection. She needed him to know she wasn't going to pull away from him again.

She nuzzled her nose beneath his ear, her lips ghosting against his green-gold flesh, and he shivered. "Belle …" The sound of her name, somewhere between a whimper and a moan, brought a smile to her face. "W-What are you doing, dearest?"

Belle raised her head from his shoulder, her fingers gently carding through the soft hair at his temple. "Thank you," she whispered, pressing her brow to his, her nose nuzzling tenderly against his, "for holding me through the night. I've … I've missed you. I've missed that little intimacy with you."

The mage swallowed audibly, the breath stuttering painfully in his chest as his frozen limbs began to thaw. "It was my pleasure to have you in my arms again, sweetheart. You cannot even imagine," he breathed brokenly.

He rubbed his cheek against hers, and it tore at her heart to see her husband so touch starved. It was as much her fault as his. They should have compromised long ago instead of running. She ran her hand up along his spine to knead at the tension in his nape, and he practically purred for her, melting against her as the last of his calm reserve deserted him.

She tilted his face up to hers, smiling against his lips. His eyes widened as his mouth went slack, wary of her gentle affection. It was a response she never wanted to see again. "It's a brand new day, Rumpel. My mind and heart are open to you, come what may."

Oh, bother! I very well may be sick, the imp sneered with a roll of his eyes.

Belle ignored him and closed her lips over her husband's, a gentle sipping kiss which stole his breath and had his hands tightening at her waist. Which was why it surprised her when he pulled away. "What's wrong?"

Rumpelstiltskin dropped his brow to her shoulder, his lips mere inches from her ear so she could hear his whispered reply. "He's watching."

She ran her hands over his upper arms, the comforting warmth of her touch soothing him. "I don't care. He's unimportant and will be gone soon."

He smiled, a gesture so open and genuine it made her heart take flight. "Indeed, he will, if I have anything to say about it." Tentatively, he brought his hands up to cradle her face, his thumbs brushing lovingly over her cheekbones. He reveled in the simple touch, having been denied for so long. Her hands cupped his elbows, drawing him closer, urging him to close the distance between them.

A soft brush of his lips, a gentle sigh from his beloved and his world tilted on its axis. It was reminiscent of their first kiss, and his heart hammered against his ribs. It had been so long since he'd felt the pure essence of true love burst between them. Hope soared through him as he nipped at her lips, restoring his faith that they would heal. Her smile was radiant as he pulled away, tucking her head against his shoulder and letting him hold her for a long moment.

He chuckled as her stomach growled. "I should go get your tea, my love. It sounds as if our wee one has quite the appetite this morning."

Belle let him go reluctantly. "Hurry back."

Rumpelstiltskin left the room, his heart as light as his steps. A brand new day indeed, he thought … a brand new start.

*.*.*

Rumpelstiltskin's eyes narrowed menacingly as the door opened under his hand. Gods, how he hated the ballroom with its cheery little cherubs painted across the vaulted ceiling. They mocked him with their serene smiles and carefree abandon. And it reminded him of the enchantress. Oh, the loathing in his black heart for that woman. Her condescending tone as she scolded him for one particularly nasty deed after another. So much for not interfering. But she wasn't a goddess in her own right. Merely the child of two … a demi-god. Her one purpose to chronicle his reign as the Dark One. Bah!

What did she know of his true purpose when he couldn't figure it out for himself? Meddlesome wench! And now he had to let her back in … for his Belle. Without their cricket conscience in residence, Belle believed Winter to be their only hope for counseling. Why couldn't she just consent to a memory potion and allow them to start over? Wouldn't that be a lot simpler?

No, his Belle would never agree to that. And if he were honest with himself, he didn't want that either. There would be no sweeping his past moments of insanity under the rug. She would make him face them all. Though it wasn't as if she were entirely blameless for her own mistakes. Hers were just few compared to his many. He was doing the right thing, he knew. Already, his little wife was opening up to him again, her eyes shining with hope. And his stomach writhed with dread, convinced he'd somehow fail her once again. He wanted so much to be what she and their child needed, but there was always that niggling voice telling him he'd never be enough.

Belle tightened her grip on his hand as the candles along the wall in their ornate sconces flared to life, urging him to follow her to the sitting area set before the mirror. Her eyes flickered past him to her temporary companion and she glared. That would be their first order of business and Rumpelstiltskin would have to use all of his limited control not to blast her into oblivion for such a trick.

"What's he telling you, dearest?"

Belle sighed. "Nothing of importance, Rumpel. Just that you're going to lose your temper and leave before we ever get started."

The sorcerer bared his teeth, thoroughly vexed. "I'm not leaving this room until you ask it, Belle. You have my word." He laid his hand over his heart and gave her a little bow. There would be no quibbling with words about it either, no twisting them to get what he wanted. He would not lie to her again, but he would only be able to gain her trust again with time. And considering his immortality, time was a commodity he had in spades.

"Rumpel! Your lady wife actually convinced you to come see me? Should I be flattered, dearie?" Winter asked as the mirror cleared and revealed her smiling reflection.

"Up to your usual meddling tricks, witch! Did you learn nothing last time when I banished you from the castle?"

Winter wrinkled her nose up at him playfully. "But you couldn't get rid of me for good, now could you, dimples?"

Belle bounded to her feet and glared at the enchantress as she stepped in front of her husband. Already magic was forming a fireball in his palm. "Could we please not fight today? Rumpel has agreed to join me so we might work through these problems together, Winter. Please don't make it more awkward than necessary."

"And get rid of the imp!" he bellowed.

The enchantress rolled her eyes. "Fine!' She smiled warmly at Belle. "Did he give you new insight into your dear husband?" she asked, waving a hand in her companion's direction.

He gave her a short ruffle of fingers as he blinked out, and Belle was able to breathe a sigh of relief. "Yes," she murmured, sharing a long look with her husband as memories from the previous evening washed over her. "I am beginning to understand him better than I ever thought possible, though I don't condone your methods."

Rumpelstiltskin glared at the mirror. "No more of your tricks, dearie. Show my wife what she wishes to see, and let's get on with this."

"Rumpel!" Belle admonished. "You wouldn't have spoken to Archie like that if he were here."

"Care to wager on that, dearest? At least the cricket wouldn't have saddled you with a dark one guide for the evening," he hissed belligerently.

Winter crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest and let the mirror cloud with thick lavender smoke. Belle's focus shifted, knowing she'd be seeing more scenes of her husband's life when it cleared. More insight, a new perspective and best of all … hope. She wasn't expecting to see the day her heart had died. There she stood with Baelfire and the others in the middle of Main Street, frozen under Pan's magic as she was forced to watch her beloved die, sacrificing himself for them.

And just as she had that day, she burst into silent tears, her heart breaking once again. Rumpelstiltskin gathered her in his arms and turned her head away. "Don't look, sweetheart … don't look … I've got you." He could feel her nails digging into his sides through the thick brocade of his vest as she took deep heaving breaths, weeping uncontrollably. He noticed Winter was conspicuously quiet.

Though Belle continued to sob, her eyes returned to the mirror. She wouldn't allow Rumpelstiltskin to shield her from the pain. His lips to her brow, the smooth stroke of his hand over her back, was small comfort as the images shifted, bringing with them a darkness of the like she'd never experienced. It wasn't just the mirror going blank, but a true pitch of evil dragging her down into the abyss.

The vault.

The Dark One's vault where he'd been imprisoned to suffer for eternity after his death. She could feel his despair as a shudder wracked his lithe frame. Horror, terror, unimaginable suffering, yet beneath it all, loneliness and longing for his family.

"Belle …" he breathed in no more than an agonized whisper. His heart beat frantically beneath her cheek, and she clung tightly to him, infusing him with her strength. She could hear the whispers through the inky blackness, calling to him, tormenting him. How long was he supposed to endure such evil? He was afraid and alone, aching for her, and for his son. He'd been in that vault for months before she and Baelfire had found a way to release him.

The images shifted, and she was seeing herself through his newly resurrected eyes, could feel the hope in his heart as she sat there in the snow, clutching his son to her chest as he slowly slipped away. Fear, cold cloying terror as he rushed to them, gathering them close to protect them from the new threat. He hadn't felt the same to her as before the dagger had pierced his heart. The curse's grip on him was stronger, his humanity barely hanging by a thread. It was only made worse by the madness which gripped him after absorbing his son into himself.

How long had they been standing there watching? She couldn't begin to guess, but her husband was wrecked, having had to experience his past in living color, a reminder of his failure … or what he deemed such. "Winter?" she called out to the enchantress. "Could we have a moment? Please? We need to step away for a while."

The sorceress looked down upon them with sad compassionate violet orbs and nodded. Belle reached up to brush the tears from Rumpelstiltskin's golden cheeks. "Rumpel?" The weight of the world shone in his tear-bright amber eyes as he tried to focus on her. "Darling, take us out of the castle. We need to get away for an hour or two," she whispered gently. "Let us go somewhere warm … a beach perhaps?"

The floor fell out from under her feet, crimson smoke enveloping her as she was swept away into the void with him. When it cleared, she gasped in a needy breath of clean salt-laden air, the warm breeze teasing the edges of the peach and teal sarong tied about her hips. She jumped back when the waves crashed against the surf and the water teased along the tops of her bare feet.

She beamed up at her husband. "Breathe, Rumpel. Take a deep breath and let go." She nuzzled her nose just beneath his jaw, relishing his warm embrace. Her fingertips went to work on the clasps on his vest, pushing it off his shoulders.

"Belle, what are you doing?" he croaked, his voice still heavy with despair.

"Making you comfortable," she replied, divesting him of his shirt as well. "Shuck the boots, too. We're here to frolic in the surf and make a new memory … not wallow in the past."

His expression was guarded, but he obeyed, ridding himself of his boots and leathers, opting for a pair of dark linen knee breeches. He shivered as she let her hands wander over his chest. Once again, she was touching him of her own accord, and his heart fluttered wildly in his chest. She didn't look as though she were ready to run from him as she'd been when they'd first returned to the Dark Castle. Had her view of him changed so much in just days away from Storybrooke?

When she saw some of the tension bleed off of him, she linked her hand with his and pulled him closer to shore. The water was warm where it washed over their feet, and she couldn't remember feeling more relaxed.

"This is what we shall do. When our memories become too much, we will escape and remember what it is to just be together. Will you do that for me?" she asked, giving his hand a little squeeze.

"I will do anything for you, my Belle. You have but to ask." He brought her hand to his lips and brushed a reverent kiss to her knuckles. "I'm done … at the end of myself where there is nothing left but my love for you and our babe."

Belle felt tears prick the back of her lids, and she dropped his hand to wrap her arm around his waist. "The curse will remain, Rumpel, but now it doesn't have to be as it was when you were trapped in the vault. You've gained control over it even better than before, and now you have the chance to mold it as you will."

"I don't know how to do what you want, sweetheart," he whispered desperately. "I know who you want me to be … I just don't know how to be that man. All I can promise is to be the best man I can be for you."

Her lips parted as a pleased flush spread over her chest and up into her cheeks. He wasn't lying to her, but blatantly promising to try for her. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start. "I've been selfish. I was so afraid of what was happening, I looked for the most convenient person to blame. I stopped fighting for you and started blaming you, Rumpel. We lost sight of who we are to one another." Her fingers drifted across his nape and up into his hair, windswept from the sea breeze. "We have to try harder."

His hands spanned her hips, afraid to move as she tugged gently on his hair, pulling his head down to meet her waiting lips. The tightening of his body was a familiar jolt of joy, one he'd been too long without, yet he was afraid to take more than she was willing to give. Instead, he held himself still, letting her lead. His head spun as her lips closed over his, reminding him of the desire which so easily sprang between them. How he'd missed her touch, her kiss, her warmth and love. He knew now he was on the right path. He couldn't do this without her. He felt so light, the darkness sluicing away like wet ink, leaving nothing but his love for her.

Rumpelstiltskin moaned softly as her tongue ghosted over the seam of his lips, shyly begging entrance. She wasn't pushing him away, but pulling him closer and he felt like a youth in the first throes of puppy love. What if she changed her mind? He didn't know if his heart could bear it again. He watched her through sloe-lidded eyes and found himself willing to trust. He gave into her, felt her just as clearly as he had the night before when she'd clutched so tightly to his dagger. He felt her soul, her heart, her love, and it humbled him.

Belle cried out against his lips, tears trekking unheeded over her flushed cheeks, breaking the kiss to stare dumbfounded up into his clear amber gaze. "I feel you, Rumpel."

He dropped to his knees, taking her with him, feeling so incredibly weak, holding her as if to let go would end him. He nodded, his head falling against her shoulder as her arms wound about his neck. "Yes … I feel you, too, Belle. But I don't understand … without the dagger …"

"I don't either, but something shifted."

"Y-You accepted me," he breathed, unable to allow himself to truly believe it.

She smiled up into his watery gaze and nodded. "I did."

"And I … I gave myself fully to you, Belle. I freely and irrevocably gave myself to you."

Belle bit down on her lower lip, wondering if maybe she was dreaming. How long had she waited for him to choose her? "But what does it mean?"

*.*.*

Winter clapped her hands gleefully as her charge and his wife returned from their little jaunt. She studied them carefully, surprised to see a closeness between them which lately had been sadly lacking. "Hello, sweetling," she smiled at Belle. "Did you enjoy your time away?"

Belle blushed prettily as she took a seat on the settee next to her husband. "Indeed, we did. I-I haven't felt this way in a long time."

"And how is it that you feel, Belle? Because the blush of love is in your cheeks."

She reached over and took her husband's hand, pulling it to rest on her lap clasped tightly in hers. "Hopeful."

Rumpelstiltskin felt peaceful, not a feeling he was at all accustomed to, but he knew that would change now that they had returned to the castle for their 'counseling'. "Come, Winter, let us begin again."

The enchantress looked worried. "Are you certain, Rumpel? This next part was a very trying time in your life. Perhaps Belle should view it alone … to spare you from the unpleasant –"

"No. We're doing this together," he insisted. "I'm not running." Nor would he hide. Belle needed to see how committed he was to their life together. Compromise was key.

The next few hours were some of the worst Belle had ever had to experience as she watched the images on the mirror. She forced herself to remain quiet, silent tears trekking over her face as she witnessed the tortures Zelena visited upon Rumpelstiltskin while she'd held him captive. The madness, the loss of his son, his pain and grief. How he was forced to do her bidding when every fiber of his being screamed for freedom. The lonely moments in the darkness when he would cry out for her. It destroyed another piece of the wall around her heart to see him so shattered and broken. How well she remembered the helplessness she'd felt in not being able to save him.

Her tear-stained face screwed up in horror. "You kissed her?!"

Rumpelstiltskin nodded, his shoulders tight with tension. "I was trying to get my dagger back. I had to do something. She was talking about time travel, Belle. That witch is completely insane! It meant nothing."

"But … you kissed her! After Neal, after all the atrocities she dealt you –"

"And you went to her in the underworld for a sleeping curse!" he hissed, unable to believe she'd take issue with a kiss when if it had worked it would have freed him. "You trusted her after what she did to me. You trusted her where you won't even trust your own husband!"

Winter paused the images on the day he'd been freed and his ill-fated proposal. Belle winced, turning to her husband, holding tightly to his hands. "Why did you give me the dagger? You could have just as easily given me a ring. There was an entire display case full of them."

He knew she could see the panic in his eyes, the need to run, to flee from the truth. He'd vowed not to lie to her ever again, and it was tearing him up inside knowing the truth would only hurt her. "I-I … Please don't make me answer that, Belle."

"Rumpel, we're not going to heal until we deal with this," she whispered softly. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm choosing you. We're strong enough to work through this now."

Says the woman who wanted to divorce me just a week ago, he thought blackly.

Winter cleared her throat. "Rumpelstiltskin, be honest with her. This is your chance to set things right, dearie."

The mage took a shuddering breath. "Regina gave you the dagger in the hopes you would control me, Belle. She didn't want me to have revenge against Zelena. She killed my boy … how could I break my vow to him? I couldn't even do that properly," he murmured bitterly. "I had every intention of giving you the real dagger … to switch them back. I wanted to show you I did truly trust you."

"And then you found that bloody hat, didn't you?" she asked. He lifted his eyes, surprise in his bright amber gaze. "Why didn't you come to me … tell me what you wanted to do?"

"I couldn't, sweetheart. Don't you see? I needed to be rid of the dagger. I never wanted to be controlled like that again. You never would have approved of using the sorcerer's hat … not at the cost of so many others."

Belle could hear the desperate pleading in his voice and her heart broke for him just a bit more. "The witch, and the vault before that … damaged you, Rumpel. But you still had me. I would not have forsaken you."

"But you did." The images fast forwarded on the mirror, bringing them to the night she'd banished him from Storybrooke. "You wouldn't even let me explain. You destroyed me that night, Belle. I wanted to lay down and die."

She shook with sobs as he pulled her into his side and wrapped his arms around her. "I found the gauntlet … and I remembered what you'd said … h-how it would lead one to their enemy's weakness, to the thing they loved most. It led me to the real dagger, Rumpel. I thought back to all the times I suspected your hand in the Snow Queen's plot, and … I knew you would never choose m-me." She wept harder, letting go of all the bitterness she'd harbored towards him. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I believed I was protecting the town. B-But when I went home to our big empty house, the enormity of what I'd done nearly destroyed me. I'd left you out there with nothing! I abandoned you, and I knew you could never come back."

Tears burned his eyes as he pressed a kiss to her crown. Her pain was his own, the grief in her heart lived just as strongly in his. He heard the enchantress sniffle, and his eyes bored into hers. "Winter, go, dearie. We're done for today."

Winter nodded, mournful of the pain they were in, but pleased with the progress they were making. "Peace be unto you both, my darlings. Until tomorrow."

Rumpelstiltskin held his wife until she was reduced to little hiccups, his hands stroking softly over her hair as her head rested on his shoulder. "I never blamed you, dearest. It was my fault. I let the power seduce me into doing what was easy. I was so sure of my success, so confident I would be able to cleave myself from the dagger, hold onto my power and make a new life for us. I knew you would hate me if you discovered the lengths I'd gone to in order to succeed." He pressed a kiss to her brow. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Belle."

"Sometimes, I don't know how you can still want me … after I've rejected you so many times, how I've lost sight of what's important. I constantly run from you when instead I should stand at your side and face things head on."

"Because I love you, Belle … more than anything or anyone I've loved before with the exception of my son. You are everything to me," he whispered reverently. "It's why I brought you here, to show you I can try to be the man you deserve without anything to interfere. No magical calamities, no savior, no pirate, no witches … just us as it was in the beginning. Let me show you I can be a good husband and father."

Her smile was tremulous, but it was genuine and full of hope. "I'd like that."

A/N: Ok … somebody pass me a new box of tissues. This chapter tears me up. Seriously! I hope y'all enjoyed it. I can't even begin to tell you how much I adore all the comments from you, dear readers! Thank you all for reading and reviewing. You guys rock! There will be another installment tomorrow. See you then!