Bonjour tout le mond!
Alright so I hope I'm able to post this chapter by at least Monday night (which is actually tomorrow :P) cause normally I work on a chapter for two or three days and post it but I'll try and be quick as possible! I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed! I'm sorry I can't post your screen names right now cause my internet is down at the moment and it may be a factor as to when this actually gets posted! I can't believe how many people have put this story under their favourites (I lost count but I think it's about 300 now!). Alright since most of my reviews say that they're angry that I left a 'cliffie' I won't waste any more page space :P
Disclaimer- Not mine.
Dedication- Shout out to Lemon Wedge (00Wedge) I made cookies and this time you're trying one :P and to Spatzi! Also to the green butterflies that tells us all things and why we are on consideration for a mental asylum (just kidding or am I?) Gorgio and Bob!
Recap
"Bella, your mother is right."
Bella's POV
I stared at him for an immeasurable amount of time in a silent state of disbelief.
What!?
How could he possibly agree with something that narrow minded!? And it was about him! He above all else should know how incredible he is. And maybe it was my fault that he felt this way.
"What do you mean Edward?" I whispered cautiously making sure he had said what I thought he'd said.
"Your mother is right." He said pulling away from me, putting me beside him and moved so I was a little behind him and I couldn't see his face.
"Edward, don't even listen to her! She doesn't even know you!" I said getting on knees to put my arms around him from behind but he stood up irritated.
"No Bella. She is right. I can't protect you, I can't provide for you in any way. I have no future save for a novelty as a blind pianist! And even then I probably won't get far!" he had his back to me still but he was standing straight with his arms at his side. He voice was calm but weak.
I wanted so badly just to pull him in my arms and make this nonsense stop. But I knew this wouldn't end easily and neither he nor I was going down without a fight.
"Edward, you are the most amazing person I know. You're my best friend and I love you," I said passionately standing up from the bed so I was right behind him.
"I don't need someone to watch over me, I don't need a baby sitter. What I need is somebody who loves me for me. And you do."
Edward turned slowly so our faces were barely a decimetre apart.
"You may not need a baby sitter but you need a whole person, I'm not even half a person. Not someone that is so independent. You need someone who can tell you how pretty you are and you're able to believe it. You need,"
I cut him off, "Edward Anthony Masen, don't you dare say that about yourself and don't you tell me what I need."
I walked over to him and placed my hands on either side of his cheeks.
"You're what I need. And I thought we already had this discussion." I said leaning in implying a kiss but he took my hands and moved away. I dropped my arms quickly as if he had burned them. I may not have been in physical pain but I was defiantly emotionally hurt.
"Bella, you shouldn't have to waste your life. You should be able to go out and party and live life like every other teenager. Even if you didn't party at least have the option to. You should be able to have a normal life." His voice was detached and compassionate, nonchalant and caring.
There was a silence in where only our heavy breathing could be heard.
Like usual I broke that silence.
"Is that way you don't fully trust me? Is that why you tell me you love me back? Is that why you don't trust me enough to take your glasses off around me? Is it because you're only doing this out of pity? Of the fact that I don't fit in and have no other friends or because you don't want me to be too attached? It's too late. It's too late for that, without you... I don't even... know what I would do." The world would still continue to revolve, the ground would thaw, the grass would grow, trees would root, flowers bloom, but I wouldn't be able to make it through the week without him.
It seemed my words had the impacted of a transport truck.
Edward's POV
I had tried as much as humanly possible to build a wall up between myself and this conversation but with what she had said it felt like I couldn't breathe. How could she even possibly think I don't love her? That I don't trust her!? She above all others in this sightless world was the one person I trust. If I didn't love her the way I do would I really be trying to help her live a more fulfilling life? One where she wouldn't need to be stuck with the burden of myself. I was independent but not in the normal definition. I couldn't drive, I couldn't read written words, couldn't tell where the sidewalks were taking me or if I had step onto the street or is it was merely a crack in the path. Everywhere I went without her by my side (or at least anyone) I had to carry around that pathetic cane; I had to take extra classes after school because I had begged my parents to let me stay with her. I had begged for extra time with the one person who actually gave my life meaning and now I was trying to push her away for her sake.
I turned my head in her direction, "How could you possibly think that I don't return your feelings?"
The anger was still bubbling inside me and was constantly increasing.
"Because of right there, you said 'return your feelings'. You could've said something like 'how could you think that I don't love you?' But you didn't, because you don't and I should have known I mean how could you love me? And oh god! I've been like forcing myself on you! " She said quietly almost to herself then to me at the end. I could hear her footsteps and then bed springs creak.
I couldn't breathe, how could I have done this? My feet carried me backwards toward the door,
"I need some air," I mutter and found myself going down the stairs and out the door before hearing her answer.
Bella POV
I watched as Edward backed out of the room and his quick footsteps out the door. I knew he could never love me in return; it was a delusion to even think no even considers that he might harbour the same feels for me as I did him. I stood there in shock with fat tears running down my face; I didn't even bother to wipe them. How could this go so wrong!? It was all Renee's fault. Saying that name only brought on more tears. I reached over and turned on the radio that doubled as my alarm clock.
"...I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for Why does love always feel
like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?"
I quickly changed the station.
"We were both young when I first saw you,"
Ok so clearly the radio was against me.
I had to get out of here, I needed air. Edward probably went back to his place or maybe for a walk. So I considered the front porch safe territory.
The night was warm for late April, well it was more like May anyways seeing as it was the last of the month. I sat down in the front steps and sighed holding back tears. No matter how upset I was the night was calming or at least for a few moments when I could push what had just happened out of the forefront of my mind.
I loved the night, how the world became a different place full of mystery. When I could look up and see that there was more in this universe that sometimes felt so big. All the small problems at sch00l, all the Jessica's and the Laurens didn't matter. Only as long as I had the one person who I cared about the most was near. And he wasn't here right now. I heard footsteps coming up the drive and I looked up to him.
"Bella, what do you mean that I couldn't love you?"
EPOV
My anger had been knocked out of me as if someone had physically hit men when I heard her breathing. Even when I had walked around the block my anger had never vanished. How could she even think for one moment that I didn't love her, that I couldn't love her? This was all my fault. She was the most beautiful person in the world yet she had an ego the size of a fly. No matter how many times I had told her that she still didn't believe me.
She sat in the same spot without moving and replied in a monotone voice that sounded as if the words were scripted and well practiced, "Because you deserve someone that is pretty and skinny and... just someone so much better."
I sat down and pulled her into my arms, she didn't resist as I rocked her back and forth for the second time that night as I felt tears seep through my shirt.
"Bella," I whispered gently and I felt her head pull away from its perch on my collar bone.
"I want you to listen to what I'm about to tell you and never, ever, ever doubt it okay?" I lifted my hand and ran it up her arms so it was positioned on the side of her cheek and the other hand followed it. "Bella I don't want you to ever feel as if you aren't beautiful, as if you're not... perfect. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you and I thought by letting you know that you had an option in this relationship you would realize that I'm not everything you need. But even this upset you. And I'm so sorry. I never want to hear or feel you cry again. I thought my feelings were implied."
I moved one hand gently over her face to make sure she was looking at me when I said this.
"Isabella Swan, I love you." And I did. More than anything, I would do anything just so she would laugh.
I felt her cheeks rise slightly and hoped to Buddha that it was in a smile. Her hand cupped my cheek and I leant into it.
"I love you too." I felt her head shake back and forth slightly.
I exhaled greatly and wasted no time in pulling her toward me and kissing her. My hand was tight in her hair at the base of her neck and it felt silky and soft between my fingers, hers were pulling at the hair on the side of my head. They closeness between us made me feel like there had never been a fight in the first place.
I still could never tell her how much I needed her; it would only put more superfluous pressure on our relationship. I had never told her but I had gone through a stage of depression when I was fourteen for a few months. The stress of a new school and realizing that I would be blind forever caused me to think about how my life could just end up being a boring, pointless, routine existence. I tried hard to keep negative thoughts out of my head but had still at one point or another considered suicide. The only time when I didn't feel depressed in those months were when I was with Bella. She made forget. She helped me inadvertently through that tough time.
My arm wrapped around her waist, tickling her side gently.
"Ok, ok, let's move this inside." Bella giggled trying to move away but I picked us both up. I carried her up to her room; her arms were wrapped around my neck. I laid her on the bed and sat down next to her, holding her hand.
"Edward?" She asked after a few moments of silence.
I nodded.
"I hate to bring this up again but you never answered the question about trust." She said this hesitantly scared as if one wrong word would send us back in time.
She was right though. I had never answered that.
"I trust you more than anyone, I trust you more then I trust my parents more than myself." I said sincerely. And I did. I trusted her with my life.
"Then why don't you ever take off you're..." she started but didn't finish. I knew what she meant though. I had been wondering when this rock would be turned over.
"I don't take them off because, I don't know... if my eyes would look... normal or if there's scars, discolorations. Also some would probably think it creepy, I could be staring at someone and not even know it. Or at something that would be awkward to stare at. I just..." I stopped to take a breath and she cut in,
"Nothing about you could or would ever be creepy. I won't ever judge you I promise." She whispered the last bit and sitting up so that we were face to face. She reached up and put one hand on my cheek. I nodded understanding what she wanted. I put my hands on each side of the glasses and hesitated. Bella sensed this and started to jokingly chant, "Take it off, take it off,"
I laughed and kissed her gently as I pulled away I took the one article of clothing that without I felt naked.
BPOV
He kissed me and pulled off his glasses.
My breathing stopped as I stared into wide, bright beautiful green eyes.
"Wow," I whispered and Edward frowned about to put the glasses back on and I stopped him.
"You are so amazing."
He smiled and kissed me again but with passion I had never felt. His hands moved over my body one finally rest on the small of my back the other on my butt, that was new. He gave a gentle squeeze and a moan escaped. Embarrassed I pulled away. Edward laughed separating our lips but not our bodies. "I guess we just got over our first fight." He said in a tone that was hard to tell if it was sad or happy. Maybe a little of both.
"Well you know what comes after a fight right?" I asked cheekily.
"And what exactly would that be?" he said kissing my neck slowly up and down.
"Make up make out," I whispered giggling he laugh but kissed me.
Yeah this chapter took me FOREVER to write and I know that it's normally make up sex but they're seventeen and like have been dating for two weeks, although not sure that might come later in the story! If you want it say it in a review! I know the ending was a little corny as well but I left you all with a cliffie last time so you lot deserve it this time :P
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Xoxox
Princess
