I cracked my eyes open and groaned at the beams of sunlight slipping in through my blinds. Kicking my covers off me, I stood to my feet and stretched. Rubbing my tired eyes, I made my way out to the kitchen, following the smell of muffins baking. "Good morning, Claire," My aunt's much too cheery voice chirped. She handed me an Advil and a glass of water. I didn't thank her, but my pounding head certainly did. I just groaned in response. "I know you have class today, but we'd love to see you once you're finished." She smiled sweetly at me.
"Aunt Em, about last night-"
She cut me off before I could get my statement out, "We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to." She prodded gently.
"Is there something wrong with me?" I continued. She didn't answer, just cocked her head to the side in confusion. "I'm the only imprint that hasn't managed to make my wolf fall in love with me. I just don't get it." I was angry with Quil. I couldn't deny it. Was I not woman enough for him? Not pretty enough? Not mature enough? Smart enough? I didn't understand and I was beginning to wonder if I would ever be granted an explanation. I was tired of the secrecy. Of the silence. I was tired of him making me resent my home. I was beginning to wonder if we would ever speak again. Why was it that his pack mates showed me more respect than he did?
She looked at me, and I recognized the emotion behind her brown eyes. It was pity. She didn't have an answer for me and I knew it. She was as confused as I was. Maybe even more. "Claire, I think you should talk to him about this. He loves you. If he knew how much you were hurting… he'd never forgive himself for doing this to you."
"That's the thing though, I don't want him to be with me because he feels bad. I don't want him to pity me. I want him to love me. To be in love with me. In the very least, I want him to want to be my friend. He doesn't even want that anymore," I was on the verge of tears. "I'm tired of being sad because of him," I sighed. "I thought that getting involved with other guys would help me forget about him, but clearly it hasn't. Aunt Emily… I don't know if I'll ever come back to La Push. Not unless I'm engaged or pregnant." I blew out an exasperated breath.
She grabbed my face in her hands looking deep into my eyes for a moment before scuttling over to the overnight bag she had brought with her last night, "Now, Claire, I told you that I support whatever you do. Both your Uncle and I do. That being said, when Sam found out about your roommate's… dilemma, he urged me to go out and get you these." She threw a box at me, and I caught it. The silver and blue box read 'Trojan Her Pleasure.' "If you're going to explore other avenues at least be safe while doing it." Was my aunt telling me to be sexually promiscuous? No, not quite. She was telling me to find it in myself to officially move on from Quil. And she was telling me to do it however I needed. She was telling me that it probably wasn't happening. Not now at least, and maybe not ever. "You shouldn't sit around and waste your life away waiting on him. You deserve better. You're young. Have fun while you can." She winked at me, turning to the beeping oven and taking the steaming muffins from the tray, she sliced one in half, spread some butter on it, and placed the plate in front of me.
Her honesty was like a breath of fresh air. Granted the air stung my lungs and made me gasp for breath. It hurt, but it was what I needed. I needed someone to validate my feelings. To tell me it wasn't wrong of me to want to date, to want to hookup, to want to explore. It wasn't wrong of me to be angry for the way I've been treated. I wasn't wrong for just wanting to move on. I needed some tough love, and who better to get it from than your Aunt?
I eyed the box of condoms for second. I wasn't going to allow Quil to hold me back any longer. I was going to live my life freely. And in that moment, I felt as though a weight lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't going to live for anyone else anymore. I smiled at my Aunt.
