Disclaimer: Still no.


#8 Our Own World


The world swims in front of Guy's eyes and he blinks slowly, very slowly, unable to quite believe what he's just heard.

After Van leaves, all of them are frozen in shock. Even Jade, sarcastic, heckling, unflappable Jade has his mouth hanging open, swaying on his feet and blatant shock written on all of his features. Tear's trembling and doing her best not to cry and Guy wonders if she's horrified because of what her brother's just said or because of what he's become. Anise and Natalia don't move at all, tears of anger and fear shining in the corners of their eyes and Guy wishes that he could go over to them and pat their heads or tell them that it'll be okay. But he can't because for all he knows, it won't be.

He doesn't know if he can tell a lie that cruel.

Luke is who he worries about most, and Guy makes his way over to him, every step unbearably slow and intentional.

There's no color in Luke's face and his green eyes are dazed, as if he's just been bludgeoned in the head. He's sunk down to one knee to kneel in the dirt, head hanging and breathing shallowly through the mouth, near hyperventilation.

For once, Guy doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do for the girls when he can barely get near them even when his heart is screaming for him to get over there and help them, doesn't know what to do for Jade, frighteningly silent and still as a statue. Guy knows that his brain is probably going at the speed of light, running over anything and everything he knows to figure out how it got to the point that a madman was in a position to replace the world with copies from a process that he created.

Copies like Luke. Blank slates created solely to be a copy from another living creature. A living, breathing human sacrifice brought into the world through human hands and treated as less.

Guy doesn't know quite how it's hitting Luke but he can imagine, and the thought makes his insides squirm with anguish. Fear, sadness, and a fierce undercurrent of rage are ruling him now and he clenches his hands to force them to stop shaking. It's everything he can do to not chase after Van, scream at him to change his mind. See if he has enough consideration or respect or humanity or honor left to reason in the face of his own 'young master', grown up and changed but still himself.

For Guy, it's Master Luke. For Vandesdelca, it used to be Master Gailardia. But probably not anymore, and that thought hurts Guy more than he thought it would.

Guy kneels down next to Luke, dropping a hand to his shoulder to feel him out. He's shaking like a leaf and Guy squeezes firmly, as if that might somehow steady him. He knows it won't work.

"Luke," he whispers, voice low and insistent, "Please look at me, Luke." He doesn't respond to words, and Guy gives his shoulder a firm shake. Slowly, as if dragging himself out of a lake of quicksand, Luke meets his eyes.

Guy flinches.

He's never seen those eyes so desolate and it terrifies a good part of him to see it now.

"This is all my fault," Luke whispers, his voice as empty-sounding as the rest of him. "He wants to make a world of copies. He wants to destroy everything and recreate the world to suit him. I helped with this." He doesn't stop talking even when Guy leans in to wrap his arms around him and pull him close. He does it as much to comfort Luke as he does to comfort himself, focusing on Luke's shaking and mental state so as to steady his own. He can't take care of Luke if he can't take care of himself, and Guy forces himself into a box that can only see the person in his arms right now because that's all he can handle right now.

Any more than that and he can't take care of anything at all.

Luke can't or won't look at him anymore.

"Don't be ridiculous, this isn't your fault. You didn't ask for this, and you didn't have anything to do with Van doing this." If any of this is your fault, it's my fault too. Part of Van's motivation must have been me, for me and for Hod. If not for that, this wouldn't be happening. Clenching his teeth, Guy sits back on his haunches to sit flat on the ground, pulling Luke with him. The redhead is still and uncharacteristically allows himself to be manhandled.

"Why am I even here?" Luke finally exclaims, looking up, the beginning of tears beginning to well up in his eyes, "What did he create me for? Why'd he have to do this to Asch? A world full of replicas? What good is that if he can't even treat me as a human being? I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't even exist. I'm an abomination-"

There's a sharp intake of breath from more than one person when Guy kisses him fiercely, hands splayed out on his cheeks, blue eyes clenched shut. He takes Luke's words for his own and swallows them down, keeping the rest of his self-flagellating tirade from reaching the air and poisoning them all. Luke flinches and tries to push him away, but Guy doesn't slack his grip until he tastes salt water and Luke sags against him, fisting his hands in Guy's collar and shaking him roughly. Guy doesn't resist, taking all he offers.

"You're wrong," Guy whispers, finally, "You're wrong, you're wrong. If you're not, shove me away and leave me here, because I don't love any abominations and an abomination certainly can't love me." He lowers his voice. "If I'm wrong, then stop this right now, because monsters don't love."

A shaky sob is his only answer until Luke finally shakes his head, burying his face in his hands when his expression finally crumples.

"Please don't leave me," he pleads, voice cracking, "Please, please, please doesn't leave me alone. I love you and I need you."

"I love and need you too," Guy replies hoarsely, "So don't do this to me." He loosens his grip on his most precious person and begins to stand, pulling Luke up with him, wrapping a steady arm around his waist. Luke doesn't raise his head, but Guy can feel a shiver of trepidation run up his spine at the sudden realization of what has just been expressed in front of everyone. All the hiding, all the secrets, all the resistance and suppression all this time, destroyed in the space of under five minutes.

Next to Jade, a hand buried in his coattails, Anise opens her mouth to say something as they approach but almost immediately shuts it, catching a threatening Look from Tear. Guy appreciates the sensitivity, and when he looks into Tear's eyes, the stare she gives him is gentle, accepting, and inexplicably soft. He knows that she can't possibly understand completely, but he knows the expression on her face, and he has no idea how the hell she can stand to smile at him when she has so much bearing down on her.

Silently, Tear walks around to stand at Luke are other side, reaching out to grasp his shoulder in one of her smaller, feminine hands. Luke gapes at her and all she does is nod solemnly, before letting go of him and turning away to walk towards Natalia, who purposefully leans against her for a brief moment as to assure herself that they really were still there.

Guy supposes that they all needed the contact.

Protector, protectee, right now, they're all the same with the lines them between shattered into pieces. He might have been taller and older and stronger, but Guy needs to touch just as much as Luke does, and he sees it in the bearing of all of their friends, and he understands.

"Thank you," he whispers.

The journey continues.