Alright folks, tray tables in the upright and locked position, this story is beginning to take off! The next few chapters promise to be a bumpy ride =) If you are interested, I am also on tumblr and twitter (just search for soonerwxgirl).

Author's Note: I own no claim over anything but the story line, and realize I am taking a great liberty with history (but that's what fanfic is for, right!) =) And yes, in case you were wondering, the title of this story is in reference to the wonderful 1966 movie starring Paul Scofield as Sir Thomas More.

Chapter 8 Music: Crash and Burn by Savage Garden

When you feel all alone / And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you / It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call / If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart / I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn / You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again / You'll breath again


The next few weeks proved to be a flurry of activity throughout the castle. Preparations were already underway for the Twelfth Night feast, and the following day Epiphany celebration, which were still over a month away. It was near full winter now, being the end of November, and Mary spent much of her time with her ladies in her sitting room, or with the whole family in the library. Starting each day, however, had been an ordeal. Kenna had been increasingly sick over the past few days. It was the normal unsettling feelings that accompany a growing child, and Mary hoped Kenna would overcome the whole situation quickly.

Mary gently stroked Kenna's hair away from her damp forehead as Kenna retched again into the small basin. Kenna laid her head back in Mary's lap, sighing into the silken fabric of her dress.

"Mary, I never knew it could be this bad." Kenna whispered, struggling to calm the nausea in her stomach. "Remind me to never have any more children." Mary chuckled at Kenna's statement. If this was how Kenna handled a bit of morning sickness, Mary had no idea how she would survive labor itself.

"I think most women who carry children say those same words. This too shall pass, be comforted in that fact." Mary remembered the numerous times her own mother would reminisce about the early months of carrying her, and how she was sick for several months. Mary felt the convulsion in Kenna's body almost before Kenna did herself, as she heaved again. The queasiness rose in Mary too, watching Kenna be sick. She tried taking a few deep breaths to calm her system, but the nausea only became worse. She moved herself gently around Kenna so she could empty her stomach as well.

"Oh no, Mary, not you too." Aylee exclaimed, quickly bringing a wet towel over to wipe Mary's face.

"Do not worry about me, Aylee. I think this was just a sympathy reaction." Mary smiled weakly, laying her head down on the cool floor for a minute.

"What is going on here?" Lola asked, just entering Mary's chambers. "Are they both sick?"

"I think it was too much for Mary, watching Kenna be sick." Aylee whispered, but Mary could still here the words. "Where are have been this morning? We looked everywhere for you."

Though Mary could not see Lola's face from her current angle, the blush was evident in her voice. "I was visiting with Nostradamus. He has been tutoring me."

"You have been spending a lot of time with him lately." Aylee's statement needed no response, and Lola did not provide one. Instead, she walked over to Mary and gently sat beside her, taking her head in her lap just as Mary had done with Kenna. Aylee proceeded to help Kenna, whose color was slowly returning to her cheeks.

"Mary, are you sure about what just happened." Her words were whispered, and Mary understood the implication between the words. Lola was really saying 'Are you sure a child is not causing your sickness as well?'

"I do not want to talk, Lola. Please just be comforting for a moment." Lola gently stroked Mary's hair in response. She was the only one of Mary's ladies who knew about her ongoing relationship with Sebastian, and she promised Mary to keep her secret. It would be a difficult secret to keep if Mary happened to be with child. Lola knew it had been almost two months since Francis had visited Mary for such a rendezvous, and if she was with child, Mary would have to do some convincing to keep suspicions from arising.

"Tell me more about your visit with Nostradamus." Mary wanted to change the topic, and was watching Lola carefully. Keeping her eyes on Mary's hair, Lola wanted to reveal the entirety of the situation with which she found herself. But, part of her was still hurt and angry over Mary's actions, and she found confiding in her as a friend to be difficult. She decided to only share part of her experience with Nostradamus. We all deserve our secrets, Lola thought.

"He is tutoring me. He thinks I have great potential to be a healer, such as he." Mary knew her friends well enough to sense when they were not telling the whole story, but she did not push Lola. She would tell in her own time.

"Oh that would be wonderful, Lola. Does he think you are a seer?"

"Oh no, I do not have that talent. But Nostradamus is so much more than a visionary." Detecting Lola's adoration for the mysterious soothsayer was acutely obvious, even if she would not speak the words. Mary grasped Lola's hand, squeezing it gently.

"If you are happy, than I am happy." Lola knew she could believe those words, even though Mary's secret relationship with Sebastian had hurt her deeply. I am beyond the hurt now, Lola thought, there are many new happenings at court that I shall now be privy.

A guard arrived, announcing the need for Mary to be presented in the Great Hall. Something drastic must have happened, Mary thought. Both she and Kenna were feeling were feeling well enough to attend right away, though they both looked worse for the wear. Struggling to regain their composure, they stood and sighed, straightening their dresses and tucking away loose strands of hair. With of whoosh of skirts, they hurried after the guard.


Upon entering the Great Hall, Mary noted most of the court was in place, including Francis who was chatting animatedly with his mother. Sebastian was near the back, amongst a handful of the younger men at court he considered friends. Her eyes found his quickly, and though the glance was brief, the love he could express with one look swept her away.

Lola slipped quietly behind Mary as they entered, heading for the shadows and a tall figure who stood there. Mary could barely make out Nostradamus' profile, or the sly way Lola slid her hand into his open one before disappearing into the shadows herself.

"Oh good, Lady Mary, we have received the most important news." King Henry began, nodding to the English Ambassador who stepped forward.

"My lady," he bowed respectively. "My Queen, Mary Tudor, is gravely ill. I have received word to expect her unfortunate passing any day now." Mary stifled a gasp. The English queen was by no means young, but rumors had circulated fairly recently of a possible pregnancy, providing England with a Catholic heir, and an heir to nearby Spain. This would effectively push Mary and any possible children from ever obtaining the English throne. To hear news of her imminent demise was certainly shocking.

"Are you certain, good ambassador?" The rumors of an English heir by the failing Queen had been dispelled, so this newest development meant Mary was closer to the throne then she ever thought she would be.

"Unfortunately, yes. Preparations are underway for her half sister, Elizabeth, to be crowned."

"But she is sympathetic to the Protestants."

"She may be, but we really have no other option that would not send England into civil war." Mary nodded in understanding.

"Thank you, Ambassador. I offer my sincerest condolences, for I know not how soon I shall see you again. Know I share the grief with the English people."

The court was astounded by the generosity shown by their princess, especially considering the numerous attempts on her life by English hands. Both Francis and Sebastian stared in admiration at Mary, clearly understanding her need for civility in such a moment.

What no-one could see was the tremors that threatened to unravel her body. The news was terrific and terrible at the same time. The news meant a continued threat from England, unless their newest Queen had an heir. But the news also meant she might have both England, along with her beloved Scotland, someday.

Mary felt suddenly very tired. She turned towards Aylee and Greer, beckoning them forward to help her towards a chair. But the darkness crept quickly into her vision, weakening her limbs and fogging her mind.

The last thing she saw before succumbing to the encroaching night were the faces of both Francis and Sebastian, rushing towards her and yelling her name.


Voices swam indistinctly through Mary's mind. She could not make out the words, but several people were speaking at the same time. It made her head hurt. She attempted to push herself up on her elbows, but the nausea that ripped through her at the movement prevented it. Her eyes blinked several times, adjusting to the dimmer light. Through the clearing haze, she could make out her surroundings enough to know she was in Nostradamus' workroom. She had been there numerous times to visit others, but never as a patient herself. She closed her eyes for a moment, opening them again to find an older woman gazing sweetly down at her. She placed a weathered hand on Mary's forehead, softly smoothing her hair away from her eyes.

"How do you feel, my dear?" The older woman's voice was calming, and the peaceful expression across her face made Mary trust her immediately.

"A bit weak, and nauseous, honestly. What happened?" Nostradamus appeared from the corner of the room, carrying a small cup and handing it to Mary.

"You fainted after speaking with the English Ambassador." He said clearly. "Please, drink this. It will help with the nausea." Mary muttered a 'thank you' before timidly taking a sip. The liquid was warm, and mildly sweet. Whether it was the liquid, or the presence of the nice older woman, Mary was not sure, but she quickly felt relaxed. The older woman glanced over her shoulder, nodding to Nostradamus who acknowledged the older woman and left his workroom.

"My dear, I have some news for you." The older woman began explaining to Mary what had caused her fainting spell earlier in the day. Mary's eyes widened in disbelief. There is no way this is possible, she thought. She voiced her concerned to the woman, who lightly chuckled, and assured her it was most possible, and most true. Mary laughed, feeling the moisture rimming her eyes.

Then the horror struck. Mary realized what this meant. She started to count the weeks off her fingers, trying to remember the last time her husband had visited her chambers. When her counting moved from one hand to the other, fear started to settle in Mary. The fear was short-lived, however, as her joy and elation surfaced once more. She thanked the older woman, whom she officially learned was Lady Agnes, and assured her she would visit at least once a month to confirm all was well. She accepted a small jar of tea also, in case the nausea threatened to overwhelm her again.

She left the workroom, excitedly on a mission. She found the man she was looking for, working away on a striking necklace of rubies. Though of noble birth, he excelled at his craftsmanship, and worked on commission for the court. She had pondered for several weeks now what to give as gifts for Epiphany, and with the revelation from Lady Agnes, she now knew. She described exactly what she wanted, and that she wanted two of different styles made. One was to be very royal, and rich. The other was to be simple, reflective of the man for whom it was destined.

"These will be beautiful gifts, Your Grace." He stated, smiling at Mary. "They will be needed by Epiphany, I assume?"

"Yes, they will be my Epiphany gifts." Mary started to leave, before hesitating. The nature of the gift would make her condition very obvious, especially if the maker were to gossip amongst others. "But I must ask for your silence on the issue. If I hear of any rumors around court, I will know exactly who to blame first."

She did not want to threaten him, but she felt a stern warning would suffice.

"Oh, I understand completely, Your Grace. These are sensitive matters, and you can trust me to be silent on the issue."

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate all you are doing for me." She bowed her head in thanks, and left for her quarters.

Her mind raced as wound her way through the corridors. She must speak to Sebastian. She loved him desperately, but could she tell him the news? She would have to, at least eventually. She decided to wait until the Epiphany celebration to tell him, when her gift would be explanation enough. However, the joy she felt would be hard to contain, even if just for a few short weeks. She thought back on their conversation, when he questioned her for being so cynical about herself. He was right, of course, and though Mary was scared about the what the future might entail, she knew she could handle anything if he stayed by her side.

In the meantime, she needed to talk to someone. The only person who knew what was going on, at least partially, was Lola. She knew this newest revelation would strain their relationship even further, but she wanted her advice.

When she entered her chambers, she was thankful to find Lola sitting quietly by the window her needlework sitting untouched in her lap as she gazed out the window.

"Lola, my dear friend, I am glad to see you." Mary joined her, sitting across from her lady-in-waiting. "I am in need of some friendly advice and encouragement."

"Of course, Mary, I will do my best." Lola's interest was peaked, for Mary did not usually seek advice from others.

"You mentioned you were worried for me this morning, and for a specific reason." Lola nodded, unsure if Mary was heading in the direction she thought she was. "Well, your fears have been realized."

Lola's eyes widened, and though her needlework clattered to the floor, she made no attempt to pick it up.

"Are you sure, Mary?" When Mary nodded, Lola realized the danger they could all face. "What do you need me to do?"

"I need your help with Francis. I must convince him." Mary's eyes pleaded with Lola.

"I will help as I can. We can do is our best." Lola whispered in reply. Mary embraced her childhood friend, and prayed for a miracle, in more ways than one.