Looking Back to Move Forward

SUMMARY: Troy and Gabriella have been friends for 11 years, best friends. They've even been more, but circumstances years ago led them to end their romance and revert back to just being friends. But will one special weekend of reminiscing about their lives and the memories they've shared remind them of the one thing that they're both missing? M for adult situations/subject matter and sexual references/depictions.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these wonderful characters...I just love them like the rest of you. :-) I also do not own the artists or songs indicated in this chapter.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi all! Okay, break up revelation below...it's not a tremendously creative or earth-shattering reason and I'm sure plenty of you have figured it out already and that's fine, but I did think it was realistic for these two and I honestly think that people break up for a whole slew of reasons that seem right to them at the time. Well, hope it doesn't disappoint...and I kind of suspect you may like the rest of the chapter that follows...so, read on! :-) Oh, and I hope the spacing, font and all aren't too funky because they have been randomly changing on me even though I'm trying to save them a certain way. Sigh. So, hope it's easy enough to read.


Previously:

She smiled at the picture of several of them out on the dance floor doing the Electric Slide in their finery.

"I still don't think I've really ever mastered that dance," Troy interjected quietly, breaking up her reverie.

&

Wondering this, he let his mind drift back to why they had separated in the first place...


Chapter 8 – I Always Will

"Troy, I'm scared."

Troy took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. "Me too, Ella. But...it...it'll be okay...either way."

They sat there in Gabriella's room, on her bed, just holding hands and staring off into space, sending their own silent entreaties upward as they waited, the ticking of the bedside clock seeming louder than ever to their ears.

After perhaps another minute that felt like 30, Gabriella breathed in and let go of Troy's hand, as she slid off the bed and walked slowly toward her bathroom.

Troy watched her, holding his own breath as he waited for her return. He didn't have to wait long. Seconds later, Gabriella came bounding back into the room, bouncing up and down, a big grin on her face.

"It's negative, Troy! It's negative!" she exclaimed, running over to him and jumping into his waiting arms, knocking him backwards on the bed with the force of her hug. Troy rubbed his hands up and down her back and let out the breath he'd been holding, a relieved smile forming on his face.

"See...I told you it'd be okay," he said quietly.

Gabriella pulled back and smacked him on the chest lightly. "Shut it, Bolton. This is not the time for 'I told you so'...just hold me, okay?"

So, Troy did just that...except, after a few minutes, he started to feel Gabriella stiffen up and then she pulled away from him. The look in her eyes was troubled.

"What is it, Ella?" he asked, unsure of himself.

Gabriella slowly stood up and backed away from him, looking down at her hands. "Troy...I need to think...this is just...I mean, I'm glad it's okay...I just, can you just...I'd like to be alone now."

Troy didn't know what to make of this. He knew it had been a lot for both of them to face...the possibility of being pregnant and making tough decisions about their future. He felt relieved they didn't have to make those decisions now. He wasn't sure what Gabriella's concern was now, but it was her body...maybe she just needed to process the whole thing and sleep now that she could do so without worrying. Not knowing what else to do, he complied with her wishes and left her alone, heading back to his own home.

The next day when he'd come back to her house to check on her, he'd found Gabriella, eyes puffy and red, sitting on her bed finding it hard to look at him.

"Ella...what is it?" Troy asked, fear evident in his voice.

Gabriella sighed. "Troy...I...I think...we need to step back. This was our wake-up call. We're young and we have a lot to think about this coming year with our futures and all..."

Troy stood silently, not liking the direction it seemed she was headed.

"If we continue like we have been...well, things could just get messed up and I think we should just...go back to being friends."

Troy felt like he'd been punched in the gut by a heavyweight fighter. "Ella...you're just reacting right now. I know it was scary, but..."

Gabriella just kept looking down at her bedspread.

"Look, Ella, we can figure this out...and...if it means...if it means we stop having sex, then so be it...it's not what defines our relationship."

Gabriella looked back at Troy, shaking her head back and forth. "Troy, come on. If we stay together, you know that wouldn't last. It'd be too difficult."

"So, that's it? We face the possibility of being parents, end up getting through that fine, and you're going to just give up now because it scared you?"

"Yes...Troy, it did scare me...and I'm glad it did. Don't you see? We could end up right back where we were last night. You have Duke...that's what you should focus on. And, I need to figure out my college future."

Troy was looking away from her now, running his hands through his hair in frustration, tears in his eyes.

Gabriella sighed. "If last night had turned out differently...it would have been bad, Troy. Not just for our immediate future and college and disappointing our parents. Hell, my mom had me young...she'd never want me to follow that same path. And, somewhere down the line, you'd end up resenting me or I'd end up resenting you and...I just...you can't be my dad...I can't lose you."

"Ella...I...I don't know what to say to that...you won't ever lose me...ever...I just wish you weren't trying to lose me now."

"I know it seems like that Troy, but I just think this is what we need to do. I love you, Troy. I always will. And...I hope you'll feel the same...just...moving forward, let's love each other as friends, okay?" Gabriella held her breath, hoping Troy would agree because she was fast losing her resolve.

"I can't change your mind?" he breathed out.

"I think this is best...please, Troy," she pleaded.

Troy sighed, a tear slipping from his eye and rolling down his cheek as he swiped it away with the back of his hand. Silently and slowly, he moved toward Gabriella. Standing in front of her, he bent down, caressing her cheek with his hand, and brought their lips together in the softest of kisses. When he pulled away, he whispered against her lips "I always will too," before turning around and walking back toward her door. Before he exited it, without turning around, she heard him quietly utter one more word. "Okay."


Troy blinked, drawing himself back out of the memory, as he realized Gabriella had just asked him something. "I'm sorry, Ella...what did you ask?"

"Oh, playing dumb then, huh? Is that your way out of it?"

When Troy just stared back at her, a confused look on his face, Gabriella let out an exasperated sound and repeated her question from before. "Do you or do you not want to learn the stupid dance once and for all, Bolton?"

A surprised look crossed Troy's face before it broke out into an amused grin. "You seriously want to take on that challenge?" he questioned, quirking a brow at her.

"Oy, silly man...come on," Gabriella instructed, moving the scrapbook off her lap and standing up, pulling Troy with her. They moved around the coffee table so they had more open floor space and she proceeded to remind him of the basic steps.

"Troy, it's not that tough...right 1,2,3, touch, left 1,2,3, touch, back...1,2,3 touch..."

Troy just laughed nervously at himself as he tripped over his feet a bit. With further patience and instruction from Gabriella, he started to think he might just have it down and started to move a bit more confidently.

"Wait...I think I have the music somewhere. That'll help and can be your true test," Gabriella said, pleased with herself for the progress she saw Troy making. She went to the media cabinet and sorted through her cds. "Aha! Got it," she said returning with a cd labeled "High School Music Mix."

"You listen to The Electric Slide for fun?" Troy asked, his lips twitching with amusement.

"Oh, hush up, Troy. I listen to a lot of things. And, I like to relive old times. What can I say?"

Troy held up his arms in a gesture of amused surrender at this, watching as Gabriella put the cd into the stereo and read her homemade label to find the song's placement on the disc. And, then he found himself next to Gabriella moving side to side and back and forth, feeling completely silly but completely exhilarated by the fun of the moment. As the song drew to a close, Gabriella turned to Troy smiling and clapping her hands with glee that he'd gotten it. He smirked and took a dramatic bow, which resulted in even more clapping before Gabriella shook her head a bit at their silliness and stepped forward, giving Troy a quick congratulatory hug.

As she stepped back, they both heard the strains of the next song on the cd playing...a slow song. Troy smiled at her and held his hand out. "May I have this dance?"

Gabriella hesitated.

"Come on...you made me do the Electric Slide. I'm much better at this."

Gabriella smiled back at him, taking his hand and moving into his arms. As they started to slowly sway back and forth to the music, the lyrics to the song became clearer...

You look in my eyes

And I get emotional inside

I know it's crazy

But you still can touch my heart

And after all this time

You'd think that I

I wouldn't feel the same

But time melts into nothing

And nothing's changed

Troy and Gabriella looked into each other's eyes, the words of the song speaking to each of them, each silently feeling a connection between the words being sung and the thoughts and feelings they'd been having this weekend. Naturally, without conscious thought, Gabriella moved so that both of her arms were around Troy's neck and Troy placed both hands low on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

I still believe

Someday you and me

Will find ourselves in love again

I had a dream

Someday you and me

Will find ourselves in love again

'What's happening?' they both questioned silently, holding each other's gaze, taking the slightest of breaths.

Each day of my life

I'm filled with all the joy I could find

You know that I

I'm not the desperate type

If there's one spark of hope

Left in my grasp

I'll hold it with both hands

It's worth the risk of burning

To have a second chance

The butterflies...the warmth...the feeling of being loved...the same feeling as on the tiny island, as that night under the stars, as lying in that snowbank next to the pond, as sitting on the beach watching the sun set, as that night at the beach house...and as in the kitchen earlier...

No, no, no, no, no, no I need you baby

I still believe that we can be together

If we believe that true love never has to end

Then we must know that we will love again.

Did they still believe? Was it still in their minds and hearts that they could end up back together, back the way they used to be, back in love? Gabriella wasn't sure, but she knew she'd never felt this way in any other man's arms, whatever that meant. Troy wasn't sure, but he was sure he didn't want the song to stop. He didn't want her to pull away; he just wanted to keep her held close to him...and something else...

I still believe

Someday you and me

Will find ourselves in love again

I had a dream

Someday you and me

Will find ourselves in love again

He wanted to kiss her.

The next song on the cd began to play...they stayed right where they were, still swaying slowly, holding each other close...

Maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

and there it goes

I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than

a little crazy but I believe

He really wanted to kiss her. More than anything. He'd wanted to kiss her earlier in the kitchen. He had fought to keep things safe and normal, as had she...but right now, he didn't want to play it safe...he didn't recall quite what normal was...he just wanted to...

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

What Gabriella saw in those cerulean blue eyes scared her...excited her...made her heart skip a few beats. She couldn't lie to those eyes...and right now, she was answering them with one word...

There's just no rhyme or reason

only this sense of completion

and in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I'm searching for

I think I found my way home

I know that it might sound more than

a little crazy but I believe

Yes.

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

Their faces having moved closer and closer as the songs progressed, their lips were now just inches apart. Troy closed the distance between them, allowing his lips to brush up against hers softly, tantalizingly, slowly, savoring the feeling...the feeling they'd both missed all these years.

A thousand angels dance around you

I am complete now that I found you

Gabriella allowed herself to get lost in Troy's kiss. She breathed him in. She felt the heat radiating from both of them.

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

Troy remembered this taste. It was the sweetest taste ever. He needed more.

I knew I loved you before I met you

And, so she gave him what he needed, parting her lips just as his tongue ran along them, seeking entrance.

I knew I loved you before

It felt intoxicating, their lips joined, their tongues teasing each other. Troy allowed one hand to drift up from her waist and bury itself into her hair, that glorious long, thick mane.

I knew I loved you before I met you

Gabriella let her own hands drift up to run her fingers through the hair at Troy's neck, as she met each stroke of his tongue with one of her own.

I knew I loved you before

Their bodies were melting into each other, every nerve ending alive with the closeness, the tingling radiating out from their lips.

I knew I loved you before I met you

'Why have we been depriving ourselves of this?' they both thought.

I knew I loved you before I met you

And then it hit them...

The next song came on...a fast song...and it helped to shake them out of their moment. This wasn't what they were anymore. So, why was it what they were standing in the living room doing? Slowly, unsurely, they pulled back from their kiss, staring wide-eyed at one another, the sound of their labored breathing the only thing filling the air.

Gabriella looked into Troy's eyes and saw a mixture of emotions there...confusion, surprise, lust, concern, a sparkle of...hope?

Troy looked at the woman in front of him, her cheeks flushed, her lips darker and swollen from their kiss, her chest rising and falling rapidly and a bit unevenly, her eyes showing surprise and fear and...longing?

'What now?' was the question playing in both of their minds.

Gabriella felt like there was a washing machine spin cycle going on in her stomach. She didn't know what to do...so, she ran. She hadn't realized she was still in Troy's arms until she pulled herself out of them. Once she did, she gave him one more glance to see that he was studying her, waiting to see what she would say or do, and then she turned and ran out of the room, down the hall, and into her room, closing the door behind her and leaning against it.

Troy stood in the living room for a moment just staring at the empty space in front of him, and then looking down at his arms, the arms that had held her to him minutes before, arms that now felt so empty. Then, taking a shaky breath, he turned and ran out of the room and down the hall after her. Reaching her closed door, he raised a hand to knock and then paused, changing his mind and lowering his hand. Instead, he leaned his head closer to the door. He thought he could hear her breathing on the other side, sense her standing there.

"Ella?" he asked, uncertainty in his voice.

Silence.

"Ella, please...just talk to me," he urged softly.

He heard her sigh. Then he heard her voice. It sounded tired and strained. "Troy...let's just...I'm going to bed...good night."

Troy let his forehead touch the door and brought his hand up flat against it, just resting like this for a few moments. He heard her move away from the door and he waited. But then he heard nothing. He took a deep breath.

"Good night, Ella," he spoke to the door beneath his fingertips, before slowly turning and walking back to the living room, where he turned off the stereo and the lights before heading into the guest room.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, um, yeah...roller coaster-y chapter...sad, happy, frustrated? They're getting there though. :-) Just one other note on the break-up...it was just really tough thinking about how/why they might have broken up because I wanted it to be something that didn't leave us disliking either of them and causing later barriers to them getting together like trust/resentment issues (like if one had cheated, etc.) and the way things were flowing, it just seemed likely to me that Gabriella made the decision. But then I kept thinking "why the hell would anyone break up with Troy Bolton?"...this one at least...he's fairly perfect in my book...I wouldn't have broken up with him! LOL!

So, anyway...on another note, this chapter took me back down a musical memory lane. The songs are Mariah Carey's "I Still Believe" and Savage Garden's "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You" from the 90s. If you like, You Tube 'em and then listen while reading and picturing Troy and Gabriella dancing...well, that's what I did as I was writing anyway. So, don't hate me and think me all kinds of evil or anything (insert evil laugh here) but I won't be updating until next Tuesday probably. I am off to visit some friends this weekend and we are going to see Vanessa in concert!! So...very excited about that. :-) Hope you all have a lovely weekend as well! Thanks again for reading and feel free to review and let me know what you think about our lovely couple, how they will spend their evening and the rest of their weekend, what other memories they may think back on, whether or not Gabriella's neighbors will ever return that crock pot...LOL...you get the point...I just love reading your thoughts. :-) Okay, Toodles for now!