Brotherly…Something?

Summary: After spending their first year of college apart, they are home for summer vacation. A night of revealed secrets might change everything.

Disclaimer: Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! Like I really own LWD!! Or…Anything. *cries in the corner*

A/N: I am so thrilled about all the reviews. It totally makes my day!! So thanks!! (And, patience is a virtue. Don't worry; it will happen – soon possibly. Unless all this drama runs away from me again. And I'm not avoiding, I'm building up suspense. Remember, they have a year's worth of frustration between them to get settled first.) I don't own RENT either but it is one of my favorite musicals. And I thought Casey might be a fan. Read bottom author's note at the end for a literature trivia question about a book…

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Flashback: "Yeah, yeah", Derek shook his head, "Despite that, there doesn't seem to be a guy in your life right now. So, I guess I'm just wondering what you're running away from – besides yourself."

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Chapter 8

"Did you ever happen to think that maybe I just did it for me?" she asked. "Maybe I just wanted to be someone else for a change?"

"Yeah", he said, "I did. I just don't understand why."

When Casey didn't respond, Derek continued, "You were never in love with Truman, Casey", he said. He wasn't asking, it was a statement of fact.

"And?" she asked, "You know that, and I know that. So what's your point?"

"Because", he said, "even after all this time, I still have no idea why you would even go out with that douche bag in the first place. Much less go out with him again."

Casey raised an eyebrow before going on the offensive. "Yeah? Well I still don't understand why, at that party in Toronto when Truman kissed Vicky, you told him never to talk to me again, only to talk me into going with him to the prom!" Casey stood up and walked to the middle of her bedroom.

Derek got up from the chair to follow her. "Yeah, so that was wrong… But you were the idiot who listened to me! Since when do you listen to me anyways?"

"Of course I shouldn't have listened to you! You just did it so you could go with Emily. It was Sweden all over again!" her voice was getting louder, but she really couldn't help it at the moment.

"God, Casey! Of course that's why I did it. But I didn't for one second think that you would take him back! Did you ever happen to think that maybe I did it because I thought maybe you could get some closure? That guy was calling twenty times a day and making everyone miserable. I figured he could explain himself, and you could possibly tell him to 'go to hell', and be done with it", he finished, slightly exasperated.

Casey worried her bottom lip nervously, "Oh", she said softly. They seriously had communication issues.

He studied her for a moment, "Why did you go out with him again anyways?" he asked.

She knew he was pushing for some reason, and she wasn't quite sure why. But she knew she couldn't get away with not answering the question at all; he wouldn't let her. However, maybe she could get away with a half-truth. Casey sighed, "I needed a distraction – from everything. You know I hate change. It was wrong, and I knew it wouldn't last, but… I just don't know", she trailed off.

Derek nodded slightly, but frowned, "You know I don't like it when you lie to me, Case, but I like it even less when you lie to yourself. I hope you're at least truthful with yourself when you think about the reason you broke up with him right after graduation." He gave her a pointed look and headed towards the door.

He was half-way there, with his back to her, when Casey's mouth ran away without her abject permission, "Truman wasn't good enough for me, Derek. And he was never who I wanted."

Casey was standing frozen in the middle of the room when Derek turned around to look at her. Her mouth was still opened and her eyes widened in shock. It may have looked like she was overcome by some realization, but that wasn't the case. This wasn't a new thought for her to be having – not by a long-shot. But she sure as hell hadn't meant to say it out loud, ever – especially to Derek.

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Casey was sitting on the couch in the living room the next morning watching RENT, enjoying the solitude of the house. Everyone had left for the day, and Derek, as far as she knew, was still asleep. Casey was attempting to drown her problems in Adam Pascal and popcorn.

It had taken a solid ten minutes after her 'almost confession' for her to convince Derek to get out of her room so she could go to sleep – (think). After that she had changed into some fuzzy pajamas and curled up in her bed with a horrified look on her face. How could she have said that?

Half-way through the movie, she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs. She ignored him until he stopped behind her, "What the hell?" he asked incredulously.

Casey brought her attention back to the screen and bit back a groan. Of course he would see this part. Maureen and Joanne were at their reception/whatever, mid-song. "I didn't know you were into lesbians, Case", Derek said laughing.

"Oh, shut it, Derek", Casey said, somewhat amused.

Derek disappeared into the kitchen, only to return several minutes later with a bowl of cereal in hand. He sunk down on the couch beside her silently. They finished the movie in an 'almost' silence, except for Derek's occasional dirty commentary which had Casey red in the face from either biting back her laughter or from embarrassment.

Casey was replacing the DVD back in its case when Derek came back from the kitchen after she had told him to put his bowl away. "So, Casey", he said.

"What?" she questioned, curious about the casualness of his tone – especially after the past two days.

"You still have those scissors?" he asked.

Ah, the scissors, she thought. She had bought a special pair that had gone in a case with all her hair-cutting supplies. Derek had once called them "tiny Chinese torture devices". She raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Yes, why?"

He gave her a look that she assumed meant that he was assessing her for brain damage. "What?" she asked, her tone was distinctly annoyed.

"Umm, you remember our conversation yesterday? You know. I need a haircut. You have scissors. Do the math, Spacey", he said calmly.

"You were serious?" she question in surprise.

"C'mon, Casey, it's not like you have anything better to do", he said.

Casey bit her lip in deliberation. She wasn't quite sure if it was a good idea for her to be that close to him – in his personal space – right now, but… "Oh, fine", she said, "Let's go."

She headed up the stairs with Derek on her heels. Casey made him retrieve his rolly chair from his room while she located her good scissors. Alright, focus, Casey, she thought. No need to pull a Klutzilla. She reluctantly made her way to the upstairs bathroom where Derek was waiting for her.

Casey positioned the chair in the middle of the bathroom, giving herself plenty of room, before allowing Derek to take a seat. With one hand in his hair, she began to trim it carefully. She "shushed" him on three different occasions. "I need to concentrate", was all she said – besides her threat to turn him into Van Gough if he didn't hold still.

After about twenty minutes of slow, rhythmic, snipping noises, she was finally satisfied with her work. Casey ran an idle hand through his hair, checking for misplaced hairs, finding none, she grinned evilly from her position behind him. "Uh-oh", she mumbled.

Derek turned his head to look at her suspiciously, "'Uh-oh', what?" he asked.

She tried not to, but couldn't help letting out a giggle. "I'm just kidding", she said, shaking her head slightly. "But you are done."

He stood up and turned around to face her, "That wasn't funny", he said.

Casey just rolled her eyes. He was so dramatic about his hair. She whined at him when she looked up. "Der-ek! You're getting hair everywhere. I don't understand why I just couldn't use a towel", she grumbled.

"It's too girly", he mumbled.

"Oh, but shedding all over the floor isn't?" she asked sarcastically. "Hold still", she reprimanded, grabbing him by the shoulders, "You're making a mess".

Derek rolled his eyes at her this time. "Would you please relax? It's not like it's hard to clean up", he said. He was slightly amused by his dramatics though.

Casey ignored his attempt to calm her down, "You're going to have to wash that shirt", she continued, ignoring him, "Hair tends to weave itself into fabric for some reason, so you can't just brush it off, it'll make you all itchy…" Her tirade came to an abrupt halt as Derek pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it into the open laundry basket in the corner of the bathroom.

"Case, chillz, I have other shirts", he said, nonchalantly leaning against the sink.

"Right", she said, swallowing – and definitely not using her 'freaking out' voice. She cleared her throat, "I'll go get the broom", she said, quickly rushing out, and completely missing the fact that Derek was smirking at her.

She retrieved the broom and dust pan from the kitchen pantry. Casey went to the refrigerator and took out a water bottle. She unscrewed the sealed lid and took a few sips. Not wanting to seem suspicious, Casey replaced the lid and set the plastic bottle on the counter, before she slowly made her way back up the stairs – hoping that maybe he would have put a shirt on by the time she returned.

He hadn't. So she did the only thing she could think of. She pushed him out of the bathroom – under the pretense that she could get things clean much quicker without his help – and shut the door in his face.

Casey deftly swept up the floor before taking a seat on the edge of the bathroom counter. What was the matter with her? She couldn't just jump her step-brother in the upstairs bathroom of their parents' house! Or, you know, anywhere. She wasn't going to risk her heart with him – not unless she was sure he felt the same. There was too much at stake here than just her own humiliation. Not that that wasn't a huge part of it.

And how dare hewalk around likethat. It wasn't fair for him to be tempting her the way he was. There was no way she could live like this for another two and a half months. Surely, repressing her feelings for such a length of time would cause her to do something drastic, especially since he would be right in front of her. At this point, she was almost welcoming an emotional breakdown so she could get over it. Almost.

Twenty-something minutes of self-pity later, Casey forced herself down from her perch. She turned to look at herself in the mirror, "Chill out, Case", she muttered quietly to her reflection.

Casey took a deep breath, and slowly opened the bathroom door, hoping it wouldn't creak, planning to sneak to her bedroom. She was startled by the sight of Derek standing outside the door, now wearing a different shirt. She was immensely grateful for that, but the way he was looking at her… she shivered. Casey attempted to step out into the hallway, but he blocked her in. he stepped into the bathroom with her instead, closing the door and leaning against it so she couldn't escape. Damn.

"Derek! What are you doing? Do you really think it went so well the last time we got stuck in here?" Casey exclaimed, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. What was he doing in here?

Derek snorted, "It was worth it to see you all mussed up for a change. And I'm pretty sure Marti stopped putting her ABC gum in the door jamb when she was ten."

Casey raised an eyebrow, but decided not to ask about the implications of that statement. "Well, it was kind of…fun." She smirked at him, "And I got to empty a bag of trash on your head."

"Oh, yeah", Derek said sarcastically, "That was fabulous. How many times have you dumped garbage on me?"

Casey laughed, "Umm, two – possibly three – times".

"That probably has some deep physiological meaning, but I'm not sure I could manage analyzing you", Derek said jokingly.

"Yeah, well, you've been doing a pretty good job at it recently", Casey muttered.

Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair, before he stepped in front of where Casey was leaning against the sink again. "Casey, that wasn't…" he took a breath and started over. "I wasn't 'analyzing' you, Case. People who don't get you, usually just haven't taken the time to pay attention", he said carefully.

"And you do?" she asked in a whisper. She pulled back slightly to hop up on the counter, needing some space.

Instead he followed her, stopping when his upper thighs brushed against her knees. "C'mon, Case", he said, "You have to know that I… well, you know."

Casey raised an eyebrow, "What are you trying to say?" she asked cautiously.

"You can't honestly tell me that you think I don't care about you at all", he said frustratedly.

She looked up at him, bewildered, "Well, no, but…"

"But, nothing", he growled. "I care about you. Plain and simple. Let's just leave it at that."

He backed away, attempting to leave, but Casey jumped down from her spot and grabbed his arm, whirling him around to look at her. "What the hell, Derek?" Casey exclaimed. "You can't just say something like that and leave!"

He shook her off gently, "Let it go, Case", he said, running a hand through his hair. Casey walked quickly around him to plaster herself against the door. "No, Derek. Why would-" she stopped as he once again invaded her personal space.

"Casey, move", he said firmly.

"Or what?" she asked indignantly.

He growled at her again, "Casey", he said in exasperation.

"Or. What", she said again, looking at him defiantly.

And suddenly, he was inches away from her, his hands propping himself up on either side of her head, trapping her. "Don't push it", Derek said.

"Excuse me?" Casey shrilled. "You were the one who came in here in the first place, and I want to know why!"

He glared at her before swinging her around, away from the door. He opened the door behind him, still looking at her. "You know", he said, "For someone so smart, you can be such an idiot." The he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Casey sank to the floor, leaning against the tub, her elbows resting on her propped up knees, hands covering her face, "This cannot be happening".