Tuesday, after school, Emma was already in the MI lab and this time she was waiting on Jay to get there. Jay was deliberately trying to be late because he was just not looking forward to seeing Emma again, now that he knew, for sure, that she was very happily involved with another guy. But, what he was not aware of was that Emma was finding it particularly difficult to balance school, Peter, and her family today and was in no mood to accommodate Jay's wounded ego.
Emma's harsh tone greeted Jay when he finally did walk in. "You're late."
Jay had no problem giving the harshness right back. "Oh, I'm surprised you noticed. I figured you'd be too busy being all over your boyfriend to care about the little people today."
"What is your problem?! Look, if you are not going to be fully committed to this then I'm not gonna bother wasting my time anymore!"
Jay was shocked by her huge leap. He expected there to be a little more back and forth before she took it that far. "Whoa, whoa. I'm sorry, okay? …Wait, is that all I am to you? A waste of time?"
Emma sighed. "No, I'm just…" She shook off her anger. "It doesn't even matter, let's just get started."
Jay was visibly relieved. "Okay, fine, but I really am sorry and I really do need your help."
"Whatever, it's fine."
But, things were clearly not fine, and Jay was not ready to let this go. "Wait. Are you okay? I mean, really, okay?"
"Why? It's not like you're really interested," Emma snipped.
"Sure I am." Jay spoke with genuine sincerity.
Emma was surprised to hear him say that and lowered her guard a few notches. "Well, it's just that," she quickly remembered who she was talking to and questioned if she really wanted to open up to him, "…never mind, it's nothing. We should just work on your assignments."
"No, come on. I need my tutor to be completely focused and right now, you seem like you're somewhere else, so just tell me what's on your mind so we can get on with this."
Emma sighed again, more deeply this time and finally let go. "Fine…I just feel like there's all this pressure to be this perfect student, girlfriend, and daughter and sometimes I just…I just can't handle it all!" She found it surprisingly easy to pour out all her problems to Jay. "Like this morning, I failed a test because my little brother kept the whole house up all night, last night, and then I accidentally took it out on Peter, so now he's upset with me. And, my parents wonder why I never tell them anything anymore, but it's just because I'm afraid of disappointing them. Sometimes, I wish I could just go somewhere else where no one has any predetermined expectations of me…" All of the sudden, she looked down, embarrassed. "Wow, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to lay all of that on you."
Jay was not at all sorry that he had asked her to open up. "It's okay. Sometimes I just want to fly under the radar, too."
Emma looked into Jay's eyes. "Really? I thought you took pride in your bad boy reputation."
Jay chuckled. "Oh, don't get me wrong, I do work hard to project a certain image, but I'm not always proud of how others see me. I mean, everyone here has one of two opinions of me. I'm either a guy who knows how to party hard or the incredible jerk who uses anyone he can to his own convenience and never thinks twice. And, right now, I'm not proud of either one of those people."
"But, that's not entirely true," Emma revealed. "I don't see you as either one of those two."
"Oh, no? Then who do you see me as?"
"I see you as just a guy who has made a few bad decisions in life but really deserves to have someone take a chance on him."
Jay was speechless. He had no idea that Emma felt that way.
Emma's confidence grew more with every moment she sat there confiding in Jay. It helped to know that there was someone else who did not feel as composed as they led the world to believe they were. She bravely asked, "And who do you see me as?"
Jay squinted his eyes and pretended to concentrate intently. "I see a girl who's scared to be less than what people build her up to be but who has every right to want to loosen up every once and while."
It was Emma's turn to be taken aback. "Wow."
"Yeah, wow."
They paused on each other for a moment and then Emma looked at the clock on the wall. "…Oh, we should really try to get some work done now."
"Yeah, you're probably right," Jay reluctantly agreed.
They worked for about an hour and a half and noticed that they were, now, even more comfortable with each other than before. Jay had a renewed faith that maybe at least one person still cared about what kind of a person he could be. And Emma? Well, she had someone new to listen to her who did not have any preconceived notions about how she should act around him.
