Willard Hotel, Washington DC: January 15, 2005

"Well, well, well good evening Senator and Mrs. Lyman!" a jovial voice proclaimed from the lobby of the hotel.

Donna ducked her head in embarrassment while Josh grinned from ear to ear as they entered the restaurant area. "Thank you, thank you," he said as he approached his and Donna's dinner companions. "And how are you, Congressman and Dr. Harrington?"

"We are just fine this evening, Senator," Bobby Harrington in a similar tone as he reached out to shake Josh's outstretched hand. He turned his attention on Donna and let out a little whistle when he saw her outfit. "Senator, I think your first order of business in the Senate is to sponsor a bill that states one Donna Lyman cannot leave the house in a wardrobe like this without an army of Secret Service Agents protecting her from the swarming masses."

"I'd be inclined to agree with you on that one, Congressman. May I also suggest we add an amendment to this bill that would include one Helen Harrington in said provisions as well?

"Senator, by all means."

"If you two don't shut your mouths right now, and I mean right now, I'm taking Donna and we're gonna first divorce both your asses and then testify to both the House and Senate sub-committees on election reform about all the votes you two bought to get your fancy titles, you morons," Helen Harrington warned the two men lightheartedly. Donna nodded her head in agreement; as proud as she and Helen were of their husbands' numerous accomplishments, the men's penchant for inflating each other's already huge egos was quickly becoming tiresome after more than a month.

"Excuse me, Congressman Harrington," an overly polite voice broke in. The group turned to find the hostess standing in front of them. "Your table is ready."

"Thank you," Bobby replied. He offered his wife his arm and Josh copied his action. "Shall we ladies?" The four of them walked through the crowded restaurant until they reached their table. "So how has this fair city been treating you since you arrived?"

"Pretty much the same way it treated me the last time around," Josh replied as he pulled out Donna's chair for her to sit in. "With immense respect combined with barely veiled animosity."

"Oh just let it go, Joshua," Donna groaned jokingly. She turned to their dinner guests. "He's just mad because Ben and Sally still didn't invite him over to dinner the other night."

"Who are Ben and Sally?" Helen asked.

Donna opened her mouth to answer and than closed it after a second, her forehead scrunching in confusion. "Who are Ben and Sally anyways?" Donna asked her husband. "I mean, I always saw them on your schedule or Leo's from time to time but no one ever told me who they were."

Josh thought for a moment. "You know, I'm really not sure either. Apparently, they're important to know in DC because Leo used to meet with them a lot. From what I remember, Ben shouted at people for nothing and Sally used to kick people out of the house when they didn't compliment her cooking. But regardless of who they are, I'm not still mad that they didn't invite me to dinner the other night. In fact I'm not mad about anything at all. I have got not a care in the world."

"See how fast that answer changes after the Senate reconvenes next month," Donna replied. She turned back to Bobby and Helen. "What about you guys? What do you think of DC?"

"To tell you the truth it's a lot more intimidating than I thought it'd be. And I'm only the Congressman's wife, I can't imagine how scared this one is," she laughed, nodding her head towards Bobby.

"For your information, I feel no fear whatsoever my dear," Bobby explained to his wife. "I feel perfectly at home here in this fabulous city of democracy and I, for one, cannot wait for Congress to be in session again."

"So I shouldn't read anything into the fact that when we met President Hoynes this morning at the White House, you referred to him as Your Majesty?" Josh and Donna both began chuckling as Helen looked at her husband superiorly.

Bobby cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Excuse me, waiter," he called out, trying to ignore the humor that came at his expense. "Can you get us a bottle of your finest champagne please?" The waiter nodded curtly and disappeared. "So what do your kids think of DC?" he asked, changing the subject.

"They seem okay with us living here," Donna answered as she picked up a menu to look through. "Obviously, it's been a bit harder on Emma than it has on Natalie. I mean she's moved three times in less than three years and she's starting in a new class where she doesn't know anyone and she's a year younger than everyone else."

"Oh poor child," Helen said sympathetically. "You know, Donna, you've got to bring her by our place sometimes. She knows Freddie and they both get along so well, it'd be good for the two of them."

"Well if I ever manage to get my house organized sometime during this century, I just might take you up on that offer."

"Speaking of organization," Bobby spoke up. "Josh, does Toby Ziegler still have the name of that publicity firm in Virginia?"

Josh smiled at him. "Resigned yourself to the fact that you now have to make regular public appearances have you? Realized that you can't just hide curled up in a dark room somewhere like the good ole days when you were the head of the AAFO?"

"I wouldn't be talking Mr. People-Everywhere-Still-Ask-Me-About-My-Secret- Plan-To-Fight-Inflation," Bobby teased him.

"At least I never mixed up which speech I was giving at which time," Josh threw back, grinning.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad," Bobby tried to right it off.

"I hate to say this but I am afraid my husband's right on that one, Bobby," Donna said with a smile.

"How was it as bad as everyone says it was?" Bobby shrugged nonchalantly. "I mean, what politician in this town hasn't given a speech declaring that there should be an increase in the amount of money the federal government spends on Planned Parenthood to Christian's for a Better Tomorrow?" The entire group shared a laugh over that one and by that time, the champagne had arrived.

"I would like to propose a toast," Josh said when everyone's glass had been filled. "To Bobby and myself, for getting ourselves to this place of power and to our wives, without whom we couldn't have gotten anywhere with." The four of them raised their glasses and Donna leaned over to give Josh a quick kiss.

They enjoyed the rest of their meal together, sharing stories about their children, each other, what their plans were for the future; just getting to know one another better and further solidifying their friendships. As they were leaving the restaurant a few hours later, a voice called out to Josh and Bobby. They turned to find the Minority Leader, Democratic Senator Todd Lindsey, gesturing for them to come over to his table. The two men excused themselves from their wives and went to go meet with him, leaving Helen and Donna alone in the lobby.

"So it begins," Donna mumbled almost sullenly to herself or so she thought.

"What begins?" Helen questioned as they went to sit down on one of the plush couches in the lobby.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud," Donna apologized. "I just meant that now it's starting. You know, the two-hour long phone calls, the last-minute amendments to add to this bill, the organizing of a veto on that bill, the days were we sometimes only see them for ten minutes at a time." She chuckled a little. "Face it Helen, our husbands don't belong to just us anymore."

"I don't know about that," the other woman replied. "Bobby promised me even before he decided to run that doing all this wasn't going to interfere with our family."

"Josh said the same thing to me. And I'm sure thousands of other men have said that to their wives before getting on the plane here. Doesn't mean that they all lived up to it though," she replied with a hint of bitterness in her words. The seeds of doubt about her husband and marriage had been planted a long time ago. When or by what were unclear to Donna but she was sure of one thing; ever so slowly they were beginning to grow.

"Are you saying that you think Josh would actually put you and the kids second to all of this?" Helen inquired disbelievingly. "Because trust me, he wouldn't. I've seen him with you and your daughters; he adores you three. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what you have together."

"Not in the beginning, not consciously anyways," Donna retorted. "But eventually." she paused to rub her forehead. "I just don't want to be married to a ghost, that's all."

"You won't be. Josh, unlike most politicians in this town, is a family man at heart. So is Bobby, they won't let each other get side-tracked by all that shit that comes along with our wonderful democratic government."

"Yeah," Donna agreed distractedly. Helen could tell by looking at her and by talking to her, hell from knowing her these past few months that something was going on inside her that she wasn't letting on to. Like there was something deep in her heart that she wanted to let out but held back from doing so out of fear.

"Donna what's going on?" Helen asked boldly. "You've been acting off for awhile and it seems to me that you're just putting on a good face for everyone else and if that's the case, you should."

"I can't get pregnant," she suddenly blurted out.

"Beg pardon?"

Donna had to laugh at the expression on Helen's face despite the seriousness of the conversation. "I'm sorry," she apologized in between giggles. "Your face just." She managed to get herself under control after a minute and elaborated. "I've been trying to get pregnant for a few months and I haven't been able to so I guess I've been kind of distracted lately."

"Oh," Helen replied, understanding a little. "You and Josh want another baby? So soon?"

"Yeah," she answered, not too convincingly. "I should say that I want another baby this soon and Josh. doesn't exactly know I've been trying as hard as I have been." The other woman raised her eyebrows at Donna in surprise. "Well I mean, it's not like he's going to be disappointed or upset about anything when I do get pregnant. We both want lots of kids so."

"Why do you want another baby so badly right now though?" Helen asked trying to remember those few psychology courses she'd taken during medical school.

"Haven't you ever wanted a baby? Don't you know what it feels like?"

"Of course I've wanted a baby before. I remember when Sondra died I wanted one so badly. But." She shrugged through her sadness. "I guess I felt like if I did, it meant that I was able to survive her somehow and I never want to survive her." She paused as the emptiness swept through her, as it did at least once every day. Losing a child never got easier, no matter what the books said. "But back to you, my dear. Why do you want a baby so badly?"

"Because I." Donna trailed off as she tried to justify the source of her disappointment. "I want a baby to.so I can." She could tell the lies that she'd used to convince herself weren't going to work on her friend. She blinked back a tear. "I don't feel like I'm doing anything good with my life anymore except with my children and I want to have another one."

Helen nodded as the picture started to become clearer. "You feel overshadowed by Josh and his career?"

"Wouldn't you, if you were me?"

"Probably. I imagine he's not an easy man to be married to sometimes."

"He loves me so much and I love him but."

"Not in terms of love, Donna," Helen corrected. "It's clear that you two love each other more than most people are capable of. But in terms of his ambition and intensity and intelligence and passion for what he does; it wouldn't be easy for anyone to deal with, let alone a wife."

"It's not about the difficulty of living with Josh," Donna replied dismally. "It's about living with Senator Joshua Lyman. All of the things he's going to do in Congress are going to have a major impact on people, he'll make sure of that. And he's had all this planned out for so long, the rest of his life and subsequently the rest of mine. How the hell do I tell him I'm not as confident about everything as I was in the beginning?"

"Why didn't you tell him all this before he ran?" Helen asked, concerned. "If you had all these doubts during the campaign why.?"

"I didn't have doubts during the campaign, I was fine then." She sighed in frustration. "But look at him, he rushes over to someone with just a little more power than him without even thinking about it. This is something he needs to do and I understand that. I could do things here too that would benefit other people. We have to sacrifice a little bit of ourselves for the common good. But I'm just not sure if I could take that for twelve straight years."

Helen reached out to rub the younger woman's shoulder. Serious discussion wasn't helping matters so she tried humor. "Well look on the bright side, Donna. With any kind luck, twelve years from now, there won't be anyone in the world with more power than your husband."

Donna turned to look at her, surprised. "How did you know.?" She groaned as she realized what must have happened. "My husband told your husband, didn't he?"

"Oh yeah," Helen confirmed. "As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I smacked Bobby upside the head and told him if he told anyone else, he better buy us a more comfortable couch because that would be where he was sleeping for the rest of his life. Trust me, short of Chinese water torture, he won't say a word."

"Good," Donna sighed, relieved. "Not that I don't trust the two of you but all it takes is for one story to get bungled in the press and your career in politics is finished."

"I understand," Helen assured her. "Though if I could, may I make a suggestion?"

"Go ahead."

"I think you need to tell Josh how concerned you are and how you feel," she advised Donna. "You need to fix this before it gets broken honey. Holding it all in and trying to manage your feelings by having another baby isn't the right thing for anyone, especially a child."

Donna nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe you're right," she admitted. The women sat there together in silence, listening to the melody of sound that the city created at night. Neither said anything for the longest while until Donna suddenly declared, "Sometimes I think that Josh and I got married way too soon."

"What?"

She turned to find Helen staring at her strangely and realized that she'd just voiced her thoughts out loud yet again. "I.I didn't.Oh God!" She hung her head in her hands as she realized what a gaffe she'd just made. "I'm sorry I said anything."

"It's okay," Helen tried to comfort her despite her own shock at what she'd heard. "Did.did you mean it though?"

Donna raised her head again and started to answer but before she could, she saw Josh and Bobby walk out of the restaurant in search of them. "Never mind," she said softly as the men spotted them and began walking toward them. "Please forgot I ever brought any of this up," she added quickly. She wiped quickly at her eyes for any stray tears that'd somehow escaped and put on a happy face. "Hey, Conquerors of Congress! What took so long?"

"Lindsey to talk about appointments to the bench with Bobby and me," Josh said, wrapping an arm around his wife's shoulders. She smiled at him and erased any amount of discord that had been on her face beforehand. "What about you guys? What were you talking about just now?"

"Nothing important," Donna replied quickly. "Just, you know, conversational stuff. Right Helen?"

"Yeah," the other woman nodded slowly as she joined her husband. She knew instinctively that Josh needed and deserved to know what was going on in his wife's head but she also knew it was Donna who had to be the one to tell him.

"Listen, we need to be getting home," Donna said after a minute. "Emma has school tomorrow, Natalie's got that cold, and we should probably go relieve Toby and my sister so."

"Oh by all means," Bobby said cordially. The group exchanged good-byes and while the men were shaking hands with each other, neither noticed the looks their wives gave each other. Looks that rang of uneasiness and worriedness but also of the unspoken bond that unfailingly will form between women who bare their souls to one another.

Finally they all pulled apart and went their separate ways, Bobby and Helen heading for their car to their home in Alexandria and Josh and Donna got into a cab to get to their Georgetown townhouse. After winning by a healthy 9 point margin back in November, the Lyman's had assumed they'd follow their original plans and house hunt in the beginning of January allowing them to be moved in by the middle of February. However, on a hot real estate tip from Nicole back in October and leading over Brooks by a staggering fifteen points in the polls, they'd gone ahead and purchased a six-bedroom, two and half-bathroom, three story brick townhouse in Georgetown, not far from their old apartment.

Josh paid the fare and they got out, walking up the steps to their apartment together. The hallway was dark and still littered with moving boxes. Donna dodged them as she tried to feel around for the light switch. "Hello?" she called out quietly when she flicked on the light. She heard a series of noises, like someone scrambling around, coming from the living room.

"Toby? Nic?" Josh tried as he followed his wife into the living room. "Where are you guys.oh dear God I didn't need to see that!" He turned away, shielding his eyes and grimacing as if he were in physical pain.

Donna turned to see what caused that reaction and laughed out loud at what it was. Nicole, her older, perfect, business-minded sister was laying sprawled out on the Oriental rug that had been a wedding gift from her covered from the chest down only in one of their great-great-grandmother's hand-woven quilts. Her hair was completely disheveled and her makeup was smeared. She had one hand making sure the quilt was secure against her chest and the other was covering her mouth as peals of laughter escaped from her lips.

"Well," said Donna after a minute, still grinning while Josh was trying to remain somewhat proper and Nicole was trying to regain her composure, "it seems like we probably should have had that dessert course after all."

"Oh don't worry about it," Nicole tossed back as she slowly got up, clutching the quilt to herself. "This was the headliner, not the opening act."

"Again, information I could have lived without," Josh said in a voice of agony. He turned back to his wife. "And how come you're so calm about this?"

"Because this isn't the first time I've ever caught my sister like this," Donna told him as she went over to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Nicole was quite the school slut in high school. In fact, it's not even the, what ninth or tenth time, that I've caught her like this."

"Eleventh," her sister added coyly, enjoying watching Josh squirm so much.

"Besides," another voice, much gruffer than the others broke in, "it's not as if we haven't had sex in your house before, Josh." Toby walked in from the adjacent dining room, buttoning the last few buttons on his shirt as he joined them. "In actuality."

"I swear on the lives of my children if you finish that sentence, Toby, I'm joining the Republican Party," Josh vowed as he let go of Donna and went straight for the liquor cabinet.

"Oh you are no fun Joshua," Nicole complained as she gathered up her clothes and went to change.

"I have a strong feeling you and I have very different definitions on what constitutes as fun, Nicole," he shot back as he poured himself a shot of whiskey, which he quickly downed, trying to erase the mental image in his mind of his sister-in-law and C.o.S.

"How were the girls?" Donna asked Toby, ignoring her husband and sister.

"Fine," he told her. "I helped Emma with her spelling and we made sure Natalie had her medicine. I won't even discuss how traumatic that was for everyone involved."

"She's not that bad," Josh argued as he put his glass down and rejoined them.

"She's just like you are," Toby stated. "Only she's fifteen months old and actually has an excuse for her behavior.

"When did they go to bed?" Donna asked, steering them back on track.

"Natalie went down at 8:30," Nicole said, coming out of the dining room and slipping on a shoe, "and Emma went down at 9:00." She tossed the quilt right at Josh who caught it and immediately flung it towards the couch, as if it were diseased. "How was your night?"

"It was fine," Donna told Nicole, not quite looking at her sister for fear her eyes would betray her. "Obviously don't need to ask how your evening went."

"Ha ha ha," the older sister sneered. "Like I never caught you in any compromising positions before."

"Okay, so we'll see you guys later," Donna said hurriedly as she motioned for them to get going. She gathered their jackets and shoved them at the couple as they went into the hallway.

"Well wait now," Josh said curiously. "What kind of positions are we talking about here?"

"Well there was that time with Gary Owens at the lake." Nicole teased.

"Goodnight Nicolette," Donna said over her voice. "Goodnight Toby. Thank you both very much. We'll send you the cleaning bill for the rug."

"Sure, sure. Oh wait a sec." Nicole turned and went to one of the boxes. She picked up a wrapped, express mail package that had been on top. "This came right after you guys left so I just signed for it."

"Thank you very much," Donna took the package and kissed her sister's cheek. "I'll call you later."

"Night guys."

"Toby, we need to set up a conference call with Ortega on the clean energy bill for tomorrow," Josh called out as the couple walked down the steps.

"Sure. See you later." Toby and Nicole walked down the street, arm in arm. They lived three blocks away from Josh and Donna, making baby-sitting much more hassle free than it had been in Connecticut.

"Ah," Donna sighed as she leaned against the closed door in the hallway.

"Alone at last," Josh whispered to her as he leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss. They stood like for a few minutes, just innocently kissing like teenagers against the doorway. Of course, being them, things heated up pretty quickly and as Donna went to wrap her arms around Josh's neck, they connected and she remembered the package she was holding.

"Mmm, hold on a minute," Donna gasped as she broke away from Josh and moved into the living room to open the package. She got a pair of box cutters out of a drawer and proceeded to rip open the outer layer.

"What is it?" Josh asked, who had come up and wrapped himself around Donna from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"It is." she replied as she took the object out of the box and nearly shrieked in delight. "Oh my God, I don't believe it!" She dropped the box and held the square object out in front of her for both herself and Josh to see. The Carol King album cover, "Tapestry" stared back at them. It was a first edition, vinyl copy of the classic and Donna was grinning from ear to ear over it.

"Wow, vinyl," Josh commented dumbly. "Didn't think they made those anymore."

"Oh, I don't believe you!" She playfully smacked him with the album as she stepped away from him. "This is the best album ever made and all you can say is 'vinyl'? Do you know how many things wrong there are with you?"

"Well if I didn't already, I'm sure you wouldn't mind listing them for me." He went to pick up the discarded box and looked inside. "Hey there's a note in here."

"What's it say?" Donna was much too enthralled with her new toy to care that much where it came from.

"Dear Donna," Josh read, "I was browsing through this old record store on Kenmore Street last week and knew you'd get a kick out of this. Consider it a belated birthday gift. Signed everyone's favorite British chippy, Lily." He put both the note and box on the coffee table and went to join his wife on the sofa. "So I take it this is your favorite album?"

"Bet your ass it is," Donna replied, leaning back against his chest still holding the album. "I can remember sitting in my apartment for hours, playing the CD over and over again. I went through at least four copies of this in one year alone."

"Appealed to your sense of folksy feminism with a touch mournful romanticism did it?" Josh asked, pulling her closer and nuzzling her neck.

"No. It was.it was my mother's favorite record," she admitted softly. Josh immediately pulled back and looked at her, surprised by her response. Donna rarely spoke about her mother, at least to him. He knew that they'd been very close and that Donna had been young when she died of cancer but she never seemed to want to offer any more details and Josh never pushed her to. He always figured it was just too painful for her to talk about, like his dad's death was with him.

"Really? I.I didn't know that," he replied, not sure what to say.

"Yeah," she whispered as the memories came back to her. "We'd always listen to it together, all four of us. During storms, we'd all huddle under this fort of blankets we'd built and Mom would.would turn on her record player and we'd listen to all sorts of records; jazz, classical, rock, pop: it didn't matter what we listened to as long as Mom was there, singing and laughing and holding us. She made everything, whether it was storms or the kitchen fire or my dad not being there, just seem not as scary or bad as it really was." Donna traced over the artwork of the album cover wistfully. "She played this thing at least once a day. She loved Carol King, loved all of her songs and albums. But this was her favorite." Donna began giggling and laid her head on Josh's shoulder. "I remember this one time, when I was twelve, I got stood up for my very first real date. His name was Chadwick Porter and I was so devastated, I swore off men forever. But anyways, I was up in my room; sobbing, miserable, and feeling like the ugliest girl that ever lived. And Mom comes in with her cassette player blaring 'Beautiful' out of the speakers and she's dressed in this ridiculous.I don't know carpet bag lady outfit that she found and she's lip-synching all of the words to me. Then Nicole comes in, dressed in one of Mom's old prom dresses and heels and a boa, and T.J. is only like, ten years old and he's trying to look like one of the Blues Brothers and they're supposed to be her backup singers. Oh, I was laughing my head off within five seconds and after ten seconds I forgot why I was so sad in the first place." By the end of the story, Josh was laughing along with her and Donna could almost see herself and her family back then.

"She sounds like she was really wonderful," Josh told her, stroking her bare shoulder and kissing her hair. "I wish I could have met her."

"I do too," Donna replied, her melancholy from earlier returning instantly with a new ferocity. She turned her head up slightly to look at her husband's face. He'd taken the record from her and was studying the album cover, not looking at her, just being there with her at this moment.

"You've got to fix this before it gets broken," Helen's voice reverberated in Donna's head. 'Now's the perfect time, Donna, just tell him how you feel!' her own subconscious screamed at her. 'Tell him how scared you are and how lost you feel now, how you've felt that way for so long. He can help you; you can help each other. Just let him in!'

"Josh," she whispered tentatively, prepared to tell him everything. He looked down at her and she saw his eyes. They were so full of love and devotion towards her. Full of happiness at what he was about to embark on in this city and where it would take him. Donna knew in that instant that if she voiced any of her fears, he'd pull back from what he loved to do. And he'd given her so much; what right did she have to take this from him?"

"Donna? Are you okay?" he asked, putting the album on the floor and tipping her chin up a little so he could look directly at her and she lost some of her nerve.

'Tell him!!!,' her mind commanded.

"Donna?" he asked again, weakening her further.

'TELL HIM!!!!!,' everything inside her insisted.

"Donna, what is it.?"

Josh didn't get to finish as Donna pulled his head down and kissed him hungrily. Kissing him harder and with more passion than she had in a long while. It was as if in order to apologize for keeping her true feelings from him, she had to give every other part of herself that she could to him. She felt his strong hands roam across her bare back wildly and she clutched his jacket into her fists. She tugged him forward, never removing her lips from his, until he was sitting with her straddling him. She pushed his jacket off violently and he struggled to find the zipper of her dress. When they pulled back for air, he looked up at her.

"Don.Donna," he panted out. "What.what's gotten into you? Is some.something wrong?"

She looked down at him, his face red and his chest heaving from exertion and passion. Her fingers were tangled in his unruly brown hair and his lips were swollen from their activities, as were other parts of his anatomy. But his eyes were crystal clear and shining with unspoken concern.

'Please tell him,' her mind tried desperately one last time.

"I love you," she breathed out. "I love you so much." Without saying anything else, she pulled him back up to her, kissing him with the same abandonment and zeal as before. He hesitated for a second and then joined her in their lovemaking, not realizing that a part of her was dying inside.