Disclaimer: Don't own it

If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn't feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I'd be wishing you were here
To be everything that I'd be looking for
I don't wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

Like You'll Never See Me Again-Alicia Keys

I fell on my bed and closed my eyes. I couldn't deal with today anymore than I had already. Alice knew I needed time and wasn't going to pry, at least not tonight. Bellas return brought on more than I was prepared to even begin to comprehend. I couldn't watch her leave even though I knew she wasn't gone for good. I ached. I was so used to not letting myself feel. I had become a shell of my former self. A soulless shell. Because once I began to face life again I don't think I could face anyone. How could they even stand to be around me? Especially Bella and Alice. Part of me understood Alices loyalty, I was her brother. But Bella… all I can think of is why?

Why?

She was too good. Too good for me.

But she asked for something and I couldn't let her down. Not again. Not this time. She was determined when she walked back into the gym. I was kind of proud of her in that way. I wasn't used to her determination. Because of that I knew I had to put all my feelings and apprehension aside, for now, for Bella. I knew it was next to impossible but she never asked anyone for anything and she was expecting me to try. Only try. It almost sounded easy but I knew it was going to be next to impossible. The thought of it made me exhausted. This day was exhausting, emotionally and physically, I was drained. As tired as I was I almost didn't want to fall asleep. I knew what the night had planned for me. It wouldn't matter what pills I took, I couldn't hide from the truth in my mind at night.

"Alice is gonna be pissed if we're not there soon, she's already annoyed we weren't there to help her and Rose decorate."

"It's okay Bella, Jasper said it was important and he wanted us to wait until he got here."

"It better be, you know how Alice can be."

"Well I'm sure she'll be fine. Hey by the way, I thought your speech kicked ass."

"Ugh I was waiting for you to bring it up, I went with version two at the last minute, but thanks even if you're full of it."

"I'm being serious. I mean I dozed off for a bit but I did manage to catch the end, the applause woke me."

"Thanks a lot Edward!"

"Hey, ouch, I was just kidding!"

"I know, I know. We should go wait out front, I want to leave as soon as Jasper gets here."

"We will, I just want to hang here for a sec, it our place you know and…."

"And?"

"Well I have a present for you, and you're my best friend and this is our spot… so yeah… here."

"Edward…"

"If you don't like it…."

"No, I love it…."

"You do?"

"I do, of course I do. This bracelet is gorgeous. Can you help me put it on?"

"I do really mean it, the inscription, its how I really feel."

"I know, I feel it too, I just don't want to mess us up. I mean I know we won't, but it will change us, and I think…. I think slowly is better. Besides it's not like school is separating us, were not running out of time."

"I know your right, but it took us forever to see how blind we were this whole time, to see what everyone else has seen all these years. It makes me think we have wasted enough time."

"I know, were such idiots for being so damn smart. Edward?

"Yeah Bella?"

"Come here and kiss me."

"You don't need to tell me twice!"

"Edward? Bella? You out here?"

"Ugh, perfect timing! Yeah were coming!"

"There you guys are, I've been looking everywhere for you two."

"Well you found us lets go before my sis sends out a search party."

"She's cool I called her and told her we'll be there in a few."

"So what were we waiting here so long to see?"

"C'mon I'll show you little birdies!"

"OH MY GOD JASPER! I can't believe your dad got you this car for graduation!"

"I know, its sweeeeet."

"You get a fully restored '65 Mustang and I get every soccer moms dream, a Volvo."

"Hey I like it you spoiled brat!"

"Has Alice seen it?"

"No, I'm gonna surprise her with it at the party."

"Shotgun!"

"Okay but then I get to drive it, once Alice gets to it I may never have the chance."

"Hey your sis is my girl man, I can't say no to her."

"Don't remind me."

"Whoa wait a minute, where are the seatbelts, I can't ride in this."

"Why?"

"Uh dads a police man, the chief, duh, I don't break laws like no seat belt wearin'."

"Like you break any laws."

"Whatever, lets just take the Volvo."

"No way I want to drive his new car, Rosalie is less than two miles away. Hop in back please Bella? Please...."

"Don't worry Bella, my dad is gonna have them installed, the parts didn't come in yet. I will have them in by next week I promise."

"Ugh fine but Edward drive slow, you know I can't stand your puppy dog face. You're so spoiled."

"Why do you think I can never say no to Alice? She has the look down perfect."

"C'mon let's go!"

"Wait a minute I called shotgun!"

"Bella I can't show up to the party in my new car riding in the back. It's bad enough that I won't be driving. Just get in behind Edward."

"Fine, fine."

"Cullen, you better take it easy, this is my baby."

"I thought Alice was your baby, ohhh I'm so gonna tell her she's been replaced."

"Ha ha Bella and I'll tell her you and Eddie boy have been smoochin' for weeks now and you've been holdin' out on giving her the details. Now who do you think will be busted?"

"You suck!"

"You know I'm only kidding, your secrets safe with me, but you guys should tell her soon, and she'll be hurt if you wait too long."

"Yeah we know, we will, it's just….."

"EDWARD!!!!!!!"

"Multiple trauma…."

"MVA, all kids…"

"18 year old male, driver in high velocity MVA, ejected 20 feet from vehicle…

"Lets go, let's go, on my count, 1, 2, 3…"

"Get those clothes off…"

"Anything?"

"Fourteen gauge needle, beta dine…"

"Resume compressions…"

"Were losing a lot of blood…1000 cc out the chest tube"

"Compress…"

"Run in 2 units of O neg and set me up on the left…"

"Pulse ox is down to…"

"This isn't working….were gonna lose him"

"Let me take over, they need you in room two, they have a 18 year old female, rear seat passenger, ejected, multiple facial abrasions…"

"Thank god you're here…"

"We called TOD on the male passenger…."

"Edward, can you hear me? Edward, its Alice, mom and dad are here too. Edward?"

"Edward, were here and we love you."

"Where am I, where is Bella?"

Same nightmare. Always the same. The only change being when I wake up. Sometimes I wake up after they tell me I lost one of my legs and I was about to lose my other. Sometimes the torture lasts as I hear Jasper is dead and Bella is in a coma. Sometimes I hear the voices the shouting all around me, sometimes its silent. Sometimes I can hear Bella screaming, I can hear, no I can feel her pain. I never hear jasper. Never.

They said the accident wasn't my fault. Yeah right. The driver of the car that hit us, a kid from PA, ran through a red light speeding. It didn't matter that I wasn't, none of us were wearing seatbelts. If only I had listened to Bella. "…lets just take the Volvo."

They never tell me what Bella truly went through, told me it wasn't necessary for me to completely hear the details. I asked for a long time, but I never got more than a few injuries. I knew it was bad, she was in a medically induced coma. She eventually awoke but didn't talk, or rather couldn't talk, her jaw was wired shut. We both would miss Jaspers funeral.

When she finally was wheeled into my room I couldn't hide the shock of what I had done to my Bella. The cuts, the bruises, her cast, her jaw. Her eyes. Her sad eyes.

"Bella I'm so sorry…" I sobbed.

She just shook her head and tried to hold my hand in hers. She never said a word, I really couldn't blame her. Jasper was gone. Bella would spend her summer recovering. Alice had told me everyone was encouraging her to still leave for school. I of course didn't have the choice to join her in California. I was heading to a rehabilitation center in Seattle.

When she could finally talk she told me to stop apologizing and to get better so I could eventually join her.

"Please Edward, I'll stay here if you're not going to promise me."

"Bella please go, I can't make any promises not now at least. Please you can't stay, not for me, I have ruined your life enough."

"Edward you did not ruin my life. Our lives have changed, they're not ruined. None of this is your fault, it's that driver, that idiot who hit us that night. Please, I can't do this without you."

"Bella look at me… I mean look at me!"

"Edward I am. I see you. Please I need you, you're my best friend."

"I leave for Seattle tomorrow and next week you'll leave for California."

"And you'll get better and join me, not right away but soon, next year. I'll be home for the holidays and this summer. I'll only make it if I have something to look forward too. If I don't have that to look forward to…"

"Bella, I can't, how can I move on, not after what I have done to you and to…Jasper. Look what I have done to everyone! How can you stand to even look at me?! I will leave for Seattle and then I will come home. You will go to school in California. That is all I can promise!"

"Edward…"

I looked away, I stared out of the window at nothing. She left the room sobbing. I left the next day without saying goodbye and Alice told me her dad took her to school early. She tried to write and call but I knew I needed to let her move on without me as an obligation. I answered a few here and there but it just hurt too much. I wanted her to live a happy life that didn't include me.

Truthfully I do realize I treated her horribly. I treated her worse when she returned a few years later. It was for her own good. At least I thought it was. No matter what I did, how guilty I felt, a day didn't pass that I didn't miss her. All my thoughts surrounded her and all the what ifs?

What if we weren't in the accident?

What if I hadn't lost my legs?

What if I had joined her at school?

What if…?

What would have become Bella and I?

But it didn't matter. We WERE in the accident. Jasper WAS dead. I HAD lost my legs. I HURT Bella.

I had tried to speak to a therapist once. But he was trying to tell me what everyone else had been saying for years. There was no point in continuing that nonsense.

I may never forgive myself for what I had done but Bella was here and she had asked me for something. I was sick of thinking of all the what ifs? I would attempt this for Bella. And part of this was for Jasper too. I knew he would be disgusted with me right now, what I had allowed my life to become. Bella was giving me a second chance and I realized if I let her walk out of that gym today I might never see her again. I didn't want to push her away anymore. I was going to give her everything I could, and help her in every way possible. I didn't know if her life would continue with me, I just wanted to make her happy again. To see her eyes shine again.

She needed me. I needed her. We needed each other.

If I could do anything right now it would be to climb in her window. Like before. I really wish I could do that for her again. For me again.

There was a tap on the balcony doors. Maybe it was the wind.

Then I heard a knock.

What the hell?

I walked over and opened the door.

"Bella, what are you doing here?"

A/N: I had planned to complete this chapter ASAP but my husband surprised the kids and I with a vacation on Monday, as in were leaving Tuesday. I was shocked but I loved it! He is my Edward, except his name is actually Jake. Review if you please.