Chapter Eight
A/N: Thank you to MH96 for reviewing the last chapter.
Most people, once arriving in a new house, would be able to distract themselves from the strangeness of their unfamiliar surroundings by unpacking the items they had brought from their old home into the new. That way, they could give themselves some comfort, knowing that they were still surrounded by possessions they knew and loved.
Unfortunately, all the possessions Annabelle knew and loved now lay at the bank of the Atlantic Ocean, and so the strange empty room she sat in remained just that.
Her new bedroom, with its beautiful floral wallpaper and its deep mahogany furniture, was nothing like the bedroom she had slept in back at home. That room had been small, painted in warm colours and filled with stuffed animals and dolls that her father had gifted to her when he returned from the business trips he so often went on. And of course, she could beg to have her room repainted and she could buy new toys, but she would never truly have her beloved bedroom back. There were so many things she could never get back, no matter how desperately she wished she could.
Annabelle turned to face the doorway and was startled to see her aunt stood, watching her. She had not heard Cora knock on the door, although the countess had done so a couple of times.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Cora apologised, closing the door behind her as she moved further into the room. She was looking around, inspecting the walls, floor and furniture as if she would find some fault in them. "I just came to see how you were settling in. I realise this isn't exactly the type of room you would have had at home, but I hope you like it anyway."
"I do." she answered truthfully. "It's lovely. It'll just take some getting used to, I suppose, being here. Being on my own."
The last sentence was barely more than a whisper, but Cora heard it all the same. Slowly, she moved towards her niece, crouching down in front of the bed she sat on and taking the girl's hands in hers, just as she always did to her own girls when they were upset.
"Annabelle, I can't change what happened to your parents, however much I may want to. I know that you miss them, and I do as well, but we cannot spend the rest of our lives grieving for them. I know that it seems impossible, but you will stop thinking of them as much as time goes on. It will get easier, I promise you. You will have me, Robert and the girls by your side always and Downton will be your home for as long as you want it to be. Is that alright?"
Sniffling slightly, Annabelle nodded, squeezing her aunt's hands tightly for comfort. It was true, she could not imagine her mother and father leaving her thoughts, but she knew that the woman was right. When their father had died, at first, Annabelle recalled her mother being utterly distraught and she imagined that Cora had been as well, for they had been close as a family, but after a few years, although they still thought of the man, they had found happiness in their lives to overwhelm the sadness. 'I suppose that is what I'll have to do as well.'
"I feel so guilty." she whispered, more to herself than to her aunt, but it was clear enough for both of them to hear. Cora opened her mouth, presumably to tell her that she need feel no guilt for something which was not her fault, but Annabelle cut her off before she had a chance to speak. "I was on the ship as well, in the same cabin, on the same deck, but I was picked up and my father wasn't. There was only space for one child in the first lifeboat and my mother pushed me forwards because she didn't want to wait for the next boat so we could go together. If she hadn't, then I'd have died too..."
She broke off her story, her eyes flooding with tears. It had been a horrific experience, the most awful thing a child could know, and it had been so recent that the wounds could be reopened with a single press. Instinctively, Cora rose from the floor and sat beside the girl, wrapping her arms tightly around her, as if that way she could protect her from all the horrors of the world.
"Annabelle, they would have died whether or not you had been on that boat." she told the girl, stroking her hair in the way she had always done when one of her own girls was upset. It seemed to offer a little comfort to her niece and so she carried on doing it. "But your mother made sure that you were safe. Do you think they would have felt any better knowing that you had gone to your grave as well as them?"
"I thought they would have wanted us to be together." she whimpered, her sobs making the words almost indistinguishable from each other.
"Annabelle, it's true that they would want you to be together as a family, but never at the expense of your life!" Cora exclaimed, immediately regretting the harsh note that had entered her voice. "A parent would do anything in their power to save their child's life, even if it meant they had to sacrifice their own. I would do the same for any of my girls. But if I thought that they would allow themselves to die so that we could be together, I'd be horrified. It was not your fault, Annabelle, I promise you."
They remained silent in their embrace a long while after, wishing that it could take the pain. Nothing could, of course, but it helped to know that they had each other. Even if there was nothing else in the world for Annabelle, at least she had a little of her family left to love.
A/N: Please review!
