- SoKawaii


SWEET AFFLICTION


"I'm not sure… When I came back to the room she was already in bed." Her soft voice paused. "I think she was well enough to walk back. I mean, I didn't see anyone else." A soft voice whispered to the hidden figure behind the small opening in the door – Yori.

"Headmaster Cross wanted me to deliver these papers to her." Another voice softly spoke, whispering trying not to wake me. However, I recognized that voice. I peered toward the door, seeing Yori standing in front of the view of the door.

"Thanks, I'll give them to her when she wakes up later. I think it'd be better if I just let her sleep." Yori smiled, shutting the door on my suspicions of who it might have been.

I closed my eyes quickly, lying motionless as if asleep. 'I wonder why Headmaster Cross would want papers delivered to me so late at night?' I thought back to my surroundings, only having seen Yori's desk lamp as the only illumination within the dark room. I had no idea how long I had been asleep thanks to Nozumo and his willingness to put me under.

"I know it was an accident and so does she, so please don't be so hard on yourself. Goodnight."

I sat up in bed, snapping out of the dark haziness of sleep.

"Wait," I called out to Yori, stumbling out of bed as she shut the door with a smile, quickly fading seeing me fall to my knees, scrambling toward the door.

"Kiku? Is everything ok?" Yori knelt at my side, shocked to see my sudden outburst. "What's wrong?" She clasped my shoulder as I let my hand that extended toward the door fall at my side.

He was gone.

"Yeah," I lied through my teeth biting my tongue. "I just… don't feel well."

Yori jumped from her knees, darting at the door and calling down to the man who stopped in the hall, turning back to her.

I flushed thickly, my heart racing hearing Yori calling out his name. 'Zero…' I felt my gut twist uncomfortably, swallowing the realization of my jealously of the informality between the two, ashamed of myself.

I stared, shocked to see Yori scramble into the room again, quickly followed by Kiryuu. I stared up in disbelief. 'He didn't even hesitate…' I felt my heart sink in my chest, surprised to see him standing close at her side.

"Should she go to the infirmary?" Yori craned her neck upward, looking up to the taller man who looked down into her features with a look of subtle uncertainty, lavender eyes flicking back to mine.

"I," Snapping out of my delusion, peeled myself from the floor. "I'm fine." I nervously rubbed the back of my neck, laughing it off. "It was just a nightmare." I flushed deeply, biting my lip as he stalked closer. The weight of my heart dragging against my ribs left me unable to breathe.

"You're running a fever," I felt my body go tense as the soft coolness of the back of his hand rested against my forehead as my cheeks and my body began to heat suddenly, flushing deeply. His touch sent my heart rocketing into my throat, of which he seemed to notice, eying me as he'd pulled his hand from my forehead quickly. His eyes twitched, narrowing slightly, though he looked away I saw that glimpse of shame. "You should go to the infirmary."

I couldn't find the words, uncomfortable to see him glance back as if for verification, of which, Yori nodded in agreement.

"I just need more sleep." I exhaled sharply, my brows furrowed as he'd stuffed his hands in his pockets, waiting patiently and yet impatiently by the door.

"Kiku, you don't look good. You're burning up!" Yori worried behind her clasped hands taking note of my thickly reddening cheeks. "I think you should go… just for tonight." She pleaded, hazel eyes heavy. I shook my head, my face flushing while thinking back to that cold and dingy infirmary bed. "Zero, please take her."

Both eyes stared back to hazel orbs of distress. Lavender eyes became sharp, snapping back at me. "You're anemic." He stated as if a matter of fact. "Without the supplements or sleep you won't replenish your blood count. You'll stay weak like this," He explained simply, holding the door open for me. "Just for tonight." He assured softly with a softer sigh, eyes locked with Yori as she smiled brightly, sparkling hazel eyes gleaming up at him.

I chocked softly on the air around me, distressed seeing the look amongst the two. I shook my head, earnestly trying to shake the thought from my mind that Zero might confide his feelings in Yori, of which she wore a knowing look.

"Okay."

"We care about you." Yori smiled, touching his forearm as if implying that he cared, too. I shrunk further into my spine, shocked to feel my face flush of all blood, paling at the realization that the two knew each other – well enough to be intimate – no kohai or senpai relationship. "I'll see you in the morning before class starts!" Yori smiled as I stepped through the door, followed by Kiryuu. "So, rest up so that you can come to class soon! I'll take notes for you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Yori." I swallowed, softly holding back from allowing my true despair to be apparent, smiling brightly. However, as the door shut I found myself unable to face the man who stood at my side, waiting. The hairs on my neck rose unannounced; my heartbeat became deep, throbbing in a subtle and muted fear in his presence. It was just the two of us and this was the first time that we'd been alone since the accident, and yet these mixed feelings only seemed to linger.

"What?"

"Nothing," I clenched my jaw tightly as my eyes burned with tears. My heart secretly heavy and aching as the thought of the two being so intimate and close seemed to smother me. I couldn't get it out of my head, and yet I had to try. I gleamed up at him, smiling as brightly as I could, biting back the tears as I held my breath. I shifted beneath his emotionless eyes, unchanging as he eyed me knowingly. "I'm just tired."

"So, you do remember." I glanced back up at his keen and sharp grey eyes with glassy eyes of my own, surprised to see the soft smirk that twisted the left of his lips. "Nozumo." He scoffed, knowing full well he had the ability to erase my memories and yet he hadn't. He knew that I feared him, even if I thought I felt otherwise.

I flushed deeply, sucking in a dry gasp at the mention of his name. 'Nozumo…' I mentally cursed. I shifted, clearing my throat. I was unable to open my mouth due to my thundering heart, instead nodding my head. "I remember." I admitted, feeling small beneath his humored expression. I didn't expect this. "All of it."

"What do you see in him?"

My head snapped up at him, eyeing him in disbelief, hurt. "No," I swallowed trying to sort for the words though I only shrunk beneath his accusing tone still confused. "It's not like that." My voice was small, shaking as my heart felt as if the weight of his words had shattered the vessel that had been meant to contain these feelings. "He's just trying to help – only because Kaien asked him to." I turned from him, though his eyes looked at me in disgust as if I had just defended him. I felt tears burning at my eyes as I tried to recant my words in my head, clenching my jaw tighter as blood began to seep through the shattered seams of my heart with each slow and painful beat. I continued with him, walking down the hall unable to escape his presence. However, he suddenly stopped, distanced behind me.

He simply stood, unmoving. Despite the distance, his frame towered over mine, looming.

"He's dangerous." His tone was low and grave. "He'll kill if he sees the you the opportunity."

I glanced over my shoulder, "Dangerous?" I scoffed at his brazen statement, my eyes narrowed and locked intently on lavender eyes of equal disgust. "You'd know, wouldn't, you?" I bitterly spat as I tried to clench my jaw tighter to avoid tears.

I flinched as he had snatched my hand from my side, wrenching me back towards himself with a jerk in retort to my bitter comment. "Look at me and tell me the truth…" My eyes widened as he seethed, gnashing his teeth at me as he'd pinned my hand to his chest, reeling me in closely. "Tell me that you hate me." He whispered, "Admit it."

I blinked as the tears had sprung to my eyes once more, unable to hold back the bitter anger and hurt that had become so evident on my face; biting my lip in fear as my heart thundered against my ribs all while cracking down the middle. "I wish I could," I softly exhaled, averting my eyes to the floor in hopes to hide the tears that spilled over. I bit my tongue, disgusted with how small and weak my voice sounded in spite of my silent inner protest. "But I don't." I shrank and shrugged away from him as I tried to avoid my own realization of my feelings towards him. I couldn't hate him, nor could I shed this burning desire to be close to him – like this – grasping my hand.

Lavender eyes furrowed, pained and outraged as he released his vice grip on my wrist. "I've heard it before." He hissed beneath his breath, brushing past me.

I held my breath watching his back as he walked down the halls as his stiff frame disappeared into the shadows. I bit my tongue as tears rolled down my cheeks, instinctively dashing down the halls in the opposite direction toward the infirmary.

'Is that what he wants?' I pushed myself, running as fast as my legs would take me with my hand clasped over my mouth as I tired to strangle myself from wracking with sobs, trying to escape. 'He wants me to hate him so he can absolve himself and cut me out of his memory? Is that what he wants… for me to hate him?' I buried my head in my hands as I shook, out of breath as I wracked silently in the halls as I leant against the corner leading down the hall to the infirmary with my head against the wall.

"Why can't you see it?" I cried softly into my hands, allowing my frame to buckle against the wall. I softly cried, exhausted and afraid as the darkness and fear of passing out began to engulf me.

"Why am I not surprised?"

I sniffled sharply, quickly wiping my face with my forearm. "Please," I tried to compose myself quickly, recognizing that tone, even in the dark of night. "Nozumo, not now." I shuddered as I tried to control my softer sobs. He was to blame.

"What do you think you'd ever become to him? Something other then a free meal?" He stepped closer, "A toy at his dispense?" He scoffed, reading my despair. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Pathetic." He eyed me judgingly. It had become obvious, this pain within my chest showed clearly in my features in spite of my attempts to hide them behind my trembling fingers. He could see through my act, especially seeing me at my lowest.

"You're nothing but reminder of his longing for a woman who never loved him." He spat at me, unable to comprehend.

"I have no sympathy."

I gave in, crying softly hearing his cruel words, unwilling to look behind myself in spite of feeling his firm hand tenderly clasp my shoulder. "Nozumo," I shuttered as tears raced down my face, trying to shrug from his softer embrace that tangled around me. His arms slithered around my waist, pulling me close to himself from behind as he nestled his face against my ear, kissing it softly.

"Look," He smirked against my ear as he reeled me in closely as I could feel his full frame press itself into my back, relishing as my breath hitched. "Isn't this what you want from him?" He nipped me softly with a sharp fang, his tongue slithering against the shell of my ear as his hand snaked itself up my abdomen, creeping toward my left breast. "To be his victim?"

He coughed softly, holding his side as a softer chuckle erupted from his throat just after I had jabbed my elbow into his ribs, shoving him from myself with instinctual fear. "I never asked for this!" I snapped back, darting at him and thrusting my flat palms against his chest, pushing him out of sheer rage. He fell back against the wall, eyes glimmering crimson in delight. "I'm no victim," I clawed him as my fingernails embedded themselves into the softer flesh of his hand, wrenching it from reaching to caress my face.

"You won't prey on me either." I warned, balling my fist and cocking my arm back in an attempt to threaten him. He laughed, gripping my fist as I'd thrown it at him, twisting it.

I winced, jerking to my side as he twisted my fist tightly; "It's rewarding watching you spiral out of control." He whispered, twisting my fist until he heard a softer moan of pain as I'd arched against him to compensate for the bone-splintering pressure. "I'll be waiting. You'll tire yourself out eventually – crawling to me as you beg for forgiveness."

I held my painful wrist, watching him disappear before my eyes into the darkness of the halls. His words perturbed me. I wouldn't succumb to him, though I felt myself slipping deeper into despair as the days passed. I tried to even my erratic breathing, quickly shuffling into the infirmary.


SWEET AFFLICTIONS


"I hate you!" The little girl screamed into the face of the man who knelt to her level. He gently sucked her shoulder, savoring the soft and innocent flavor. She screamed, thrashing as he bit down harder, grating his fangs against the bone. She used her small hands, pushing his forehead in an attempt to pry him from her shoulder as he sucked wildly at the flesh, threading his arm around her small waist and the other twined in her bloodied chocolate locks. She screamed, crying out loudly feeling his hand gently stroke her torso suggestively, licking her shoulder and lazily dragging his bloodied tongue up her shoulder into the crook of her neck as he pulled her hair tightly in his balled fist.

"Stop it," She screamed once more, horrified to feel him shutter, chuckling against her skin as he gently kissed the nape of her neck. "I hate you! I hate you forever!" I hate…" Her screams fell silent beneath the man's hand as he cupped her mouth angrily, a growl escaping his lips. She bawled her fists and blindly threw one at his face as she squeezed her eyes shut beneath the feeling of fangs nipping at her neck.

"My princess is restless tonight, isn't she?" The man snickered to Kiku who was licking this inside of his hand cupped over her mouth, trying to bite him though unable to bite the flat surface of his palm that stretched over her face. She mumbled curses and hateful insults and yet nothing could be heard, completely covering her nose and clasping her chin. "You taste so sweet – sweeter then your mother."

I blinked, the light piercing my pupils as I tried to push back the memories into the darkest corner of my mind. I didn't want to remember. I choked into the infirmary pillow, wracking with tears as the phantom pain in my shoulder lingered. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying desperately to remove him from my mind.

I felt the cot shift slightly at my side, stilling for a moment as I held my breath amidst white knuckling the softer pillow that I struggled to suffocate my cries with. I tried to still myself desperately, despite my jerking body's cry for air. I felt a cold hand hesitantly stroke my hair.

"You're still running a fever."

His cool breath washed over me, softly and delicate – just as his hand had been. My curiosity and desire to look at him grew, in spite of the fear of crimson eyes that I might be met with – the anger lingering from our previous encounter. I was afraid to wake from the dream of his presence, but unsure as to whether I had already woken. Instead, I kept my face buried deep within the pillow.

I froze feeling softer fingers ghost over me, brushing my hair from my neck to expose the bandaged wound. Soft delicate pads longingly traced over the bandage, halting at the warmth of my skin. His fingers were cold, but it felt pleasurable against my hot skin and throbbing veins while my heart continued to beat slowly and deeply within my chest.

I lay silently, squeezing my eyes shut tightly as his lazy fingers grazed the nape of my neck, questioning myself as to whether I was dreaming or slipping in and out of consciousness. I flinched, quivering as he gently brushed my softer hair behind my ear, validating my state of blurring consciousness and reality as the skin began to heat upon the trails of his touch. His cool touch against my hot sensitive ear left my breath shallow and quick. I found my body searching for his cooler touch as it left me abruptly, pleading inwardly as my heart began to pump hot blood through my veins that coursed with selfish need and desire.

"Kiryuu,"

He froze, pulling away from me upon hearing the softer breathy moan that escaped into the pillow. He could tell I was unable to restrain myself due to the fever – delirious. He stood, looking over his shoulder with a blank and emotionless look as I rolled to my side upon his absence – impossible to read. He stood no more than a foot from the bed, but it was too much for me. I needed his cool touch in order to quench this burning desire. Yet, his blank lavender eyes connected with my outstretched hand.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, biting back burning tears as a wave of blackness washed over my body feeling my reality start to distort into that of a muted dream. "I don't know why..." I swallowed dryly as I began to swim in the darkness around me, "I don't know why I was there. I shouldn't have been." I sharply inhaled, biting my lip from crying further.

"Don't bite," His voice was soft and yet noticeably firm, hitching slightly though he tried to hide it, clearing his throat. I could sense the undertone of urgency as lavender eyes twitched with a glimmer of crimson. My eyes flared as he watched me slowly release my bottom lip from between my teeth. I was surprised that he could notice something so insignificant as me biting my lip. "Don't apologize." He shakily exhaled, opening his heavy and milky eyes after having calmed himself.

'He's still in pain.' I watched his tense frame soften, his eyes equally heavy and soft. "Headmaster asked me to give him an update on your condition." He softly spoke, nodding.

"I'm fine." I assured, "What time is it?" I looked around; nervously glancing out the window to see it was just beginning to become light outside.

"Five." He answered simply.

I shot up and craned my neck toward the window. "How?" The words escaped me, shocked that I had slept through the day, yet again. The sun had already set beneath the trees and the swirl of pinks and oranges had left leaving light purple and darker hues casted across the sky.

"Your body is healing." I glanced back at him, his eyes still connected with the window. "You need rest." His eyes flicked back to mine, his tone stern.

I nodded, blushing thickly hearing my stomach growl discontentedly. I sheepishly glanced up to see him eye me with a knowing look. I held my stomach, nervously shifting as yet another growl vibrated deep within my gut, crying for sustenance.

"Here," I graciously accepted the glass of water he extended to me. "Take these."

I eyed the pills in his outstretched hand, curious.

I hesitantly plucked two of small tablets from several white tablets in his outstretched hand, swallowing them with a gulp of water. I watched in surprise to see him chalk the rest of the five tablets into his mouth, swallowing them dry. His eyes were mellow and emotionless in spite of my concern and curiosity. I didn't ask what they were, but I knew they were not painkillers.

"You should eat something." He gestured with a flick of his head toward the door, as if motioning to the cafeteria. I nodded, swinging my legs over the bed though a wave of dizziness washed over me, everything teetering as blackness consumed my vision. I was weak, and I couldn't remember the last meal I'd had. He knew.

I blushed thickly, slowly clambering to my feet. I stared up at him, surprised to see him extend my uniform overcoat to me. I accepted it nimbly though my hand brushed his colder hand. I ignored the cool feeling, my heart jumping into my throat as I held my breath, slipping the coat over my shoulders quickly in spite of his gesture as he moved closer, as if to assist me. I clumsily tired to button it, fumbling with the large black button twice as my hands shook uncontrollably. "Thanks." I nervously smiled back to the man who stood still, watching me with so little as a nod as I exited the infirmary. I smiled inwardly, my stomach still in knots as butterflies knocked clumsily and carelessly within my empty stomach, stirring around as if intoxicated.


SWEET AFFLICTIONS


"Econ's been really busy." Yori pushed around a small clump of rice amidst the tray with two chopsticks, picking off a single grain at a time. "We have a midterm paper due next week… time goes by so fast." She sighed, her chin still rested within her palm as she leant against the table, her mind obviously elsewhere.

"Is there something else bothering you?" I spooned an eager bite of curry into my mouth quickly, hesitant to hear her response.

"No, not really." She looked down at her tray once again, then looking up at myself. "It's just…"

I tilted my head, egging her to tell me in spite of the bustle of the cafeteria. I set my spoon onto my tray, leaning over the table with a silent pleading look. "You can tell me, Yori." I spoke, and yet my heart felt otherwise. I didn't want to hear her concern, only because it felt surreal.

"It's Junichi."

My heart leapt within my chest, though I tried to hide my obvious relief that her concern was not focused on myself. "What's wrong?" I asked, concern evident in my tone and my expression.

"I feel stupid about the whole situation." She admitted beneath her breath, "I overheard some girls talking about him… and how great he is, and talented, and smart, and funny," She paused. "And how much they liked him."

Her expression cut me deeply, her rejection was so raw an unmasked, yet beautiful and tender. "Who said that they liked him?" I mindlessly spoke, surprised at myself for asking such a blunt question. "Do you feel differently about him now?"

"No," Yori shook her head with an unmistakable look of frustration and hurt. "But I made a huge mistake." She held her eyes with her outstretched palm, "I told him that I was busy with studies when he asked me to go to the town center with him, but I'm not really busy... I regret ever saying anything."

"Then tell him!" I gaped, surprised and elated. "Tell him that you finished your studies early, and that you were able to get ahead and you're free!" I smiled, exciting seeing Yori's look of sudden hope.

"What if he took one of those other girls?"

I paused, not having thought of that possibility. What if he were one of those men? Someone who would use her feelings to get somewhere fast, and the moment that something better came along, they would move on.

I shook my head, shaking the negative thought from my mind and hoping for the best. Not everyone was manipulative. "Yori, I would try. He asked you first, didn't he? If he really cares about you, he won't go looking for other girls because those other girls aren't you. He would wait." I smiled, happy seeing her sheepish eyes glance up at me for a moment. She then smiled, pulling her pink phone from her bag.

"I will. I'll tell him."