Author's Note: Just to clarify, when all of the text is in italics, it's a memory. If the dialogue is the only thing in italics, it is Ren's zanpakutō's talking.
Chapter Eight-Waking Up
"Your hair's a little longer."
"So is yours, by some miracle, Shinji."
"I'm being serious, Ren! Are you gonna let it grow out a little or what?"
"Well, I haven't exactly cut it recently, so…Which do you think?"
"I think I'm afraid of what you'll do to me if I say the wrong answer."
"Psh, I wouldn't do anything to you, Shinji. I'm just proud that you actually noticed that I hadn't cut it any time recently."
"There's a backhanded compliment in there somewhere…I think."
"It's in there, somewhere."
"Yer awful, doll."
"And I just complimented you! You are so mean to me, Shinji."
"I am not. You love it."
Ren and Shinji were at their usual spot in front of the lake, waiting for the sun to set. This was a ritual that they had started shortly after Ren had joined the Gotei 13, not too long after her first day, when she and Shinji had had their awkward first meeting and Shinji had to really work to redeem himself. This beautiful spot had become extremely important to them; it was place that they could escape to together, where they could go to leave all of their troubles behind and just be together in peace and serenity.
"I do not. I love you, though, even if you are overly mean to me," Ren teased.
"Ah, well, at least someone can look past my mean ass exterior and still love me," Shinji sarcastically replied.
"I know, right? It blew my mind, too!" Ren told him, swinging her legs over his and hopping into his lap.
"If I was so mean, then I wouldn't let you sit on me," Shinji informed her.
"Please, you're getting as much enjoyment out of this as I am," Ren retorted, rolling her eyes at him and leaning her head on his chest. She loved to just lay her head against his chest and listen to his heart beat; the steady rhythm usually calmed her, but at that moment, his heart was beating a mile a minute.
"Your heart's beating real fast," Ren muttered, holding her hand up to his chest and laying it over his heart.
"Well, there is a beautiful girl in my lap, so, you know," Shinji told her, trying to look away from her. The sun was just about to set, but instead of watching it, Ren seemed to be more interested in Shinji at the moment, which he would have been fine with at any other time, just not then.
"No, it's not that," Ren stated, using her thumb to trace the collar if Shinji's captain's haori.
"And just how would you know that?" Shinji asked her, incredulously.
"Well, I am sitting on your lap, so I think I might have noticed if it was that," Ren told him.
"I think you're full of it," Shinji commented.
"I don't," Ren countered. "What's on your mind, Captain Hirako?"
"What makes you think something's on my mind?" Shinji asked her.
"Because I know you, Shinji, like the back of my hand. Something's eating at you, so, what is it?"
"It's nothing, really." Shinji took the orange pendant that he had given Ren almost two decades ago and started rubbing it between his index finger and thumb.
"If it was nothing, your heart wouldn't be going so fast and you wouldn't be trying to deflect my questions, now would you?"
"I, uh…"
"Shinji, honey, you know that you can tell me anything, right?"
"I know, it's just…"
When Shinji didn't say anything else for a while, Ren decided to give him a little encouragement. She slowly leaned up and gave Shinji a small, innocent peck on the lips.
"Come on, out with it Hirako."
"Jeez, I really, really don't know how to say this, Ren."
"Just go for it, I won't judge you if you sound like an idiot."
"Oh, well, with that boost of confidence…"
"Shinji…"
"Fine. C'mere." Shinji adjusted Ren to where she was sitting up and he could look her in the eyes.
"I'm here. Always will be. Now, tell me what is going on with you, Shinji." Shinji took in a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for what he was about to do.
"Ren, I'm gonna sound like a real idiot right now, but bear with me, alright?"
"Alright, I'm all ears, Shinji."
"Alright, just let me get this all out, no interruptions, just let me say what I gotta say."
"Well get to it then."
"Fine. Ren, I love you, and I have since the first moment I saw you. You know, the first day you came here, when all of those wild ass rumors were floating around and no one knew who you were, I actually thought that you would be some weird-looking, ugly ass criminal, and as it turned out, you were nothing like that. You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen, and the day that I met you turned out to be one of the best days of my life. Damn, you're one of the bravest people I know, but you also have heart under that tough exterior, and that's what I love about you most. I know we joke about it a lot, but I know, without a doubt, if anything ever did happen to me, you'd be there, every second of the way, either taking care of me or making sure that I was taken care of.
"Hell, I love everything about you, Ren: the way you're not afraid to tell me straight up if I'm being an idiot, that sarcastic eye roll you give people, the way you put so much love in your cooking, hell, I even love the way you just sit there and stare off into space sometimes when no one's looking. You do so much for me Ren, and I just want to start giving some of that back to you. I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, whether times are bad or good, whether you're sick or just pissed off, or whatever the case may be. I want to be there when you're sad or sick, so that I can hold you and tell you that everything will be alright, and I'll be damned if I won't do everything in my power to make it right.
"I want to be with you until the day that I die, Ren, 'cuz then I know that I'll die happy because I'll die with you, the woman that I love, by my side. I'll do anything you for, Ren. I'd sacrifice anything just to be able to stand by you; I'll give you everything that you could possibly ask for, Ren, but I just you need you to say one thing first."
"What are you saying, Shinji?" Ren stuttered. A few tears had escaped her eyes during Shinji's speech, and now he was reaching up with both of his hands to wipe them off of her face.
"I'm askin' ya' to marry me, Ren," Shinji told her. "And to make me the happiest man in Soul Society."
"No shit?" Ren laughed/cried. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was feeling so much joy at that moment that she just couldn't keep her tears in. The smile that adorned her face at that moment was the smile of the happiest woman on the planet, and she dared anyone to try to take that title from her.
"No shit. What do ya' say?" Shinji asked her.
"Hell yeah I'll marry you, Shinji," Ren answered, her voice barely audible through her tears. She crashed her lips against Shinji's, and he was happy to mirror her delight. Ren, the woman he loved more than anything else on the Earth, had just agreed to spend the rest of her life with him; he never would have imagined that that could happen all those years ago when he first met her.
"You know, I told you that I wasn't really sure how to go about this," Shinji started.
"I think you did it perfectly," Ren assured him, wiping some more of her tears away.
"I mean, I didn't know when to take it out, but I do have a ring for you, if you want it," Shinji teased.
"'If you want it'," Ren repeated. "Of course I want it! I'm gonna wear it proudly, too, so everybody knows that I'm yours and that I will be until the day I die!"
"I think they probably already know that, Ren, but I guess I'll give it to you… Oh wait, I already put it on you! Would you look at that!" Ren thought that Shinji was bullshitting her, but when she looked down at her left hand, there it was, a beautiful engagement ring that wasn't too excessive and extravagant, but one that was perfect for Ren, one that really reflected her personality.
"Oh, wow, Shinji! It's gorgeous!" Ren gasped.
"You know, the last time that we were here and you said that, I didn't say this because I thought it was too soon, but now, I'll say it. It's not the only thing, Ren. And in my opinion, it pales in comparison to the gorgeous thing that I'm holding," Shinji told her.
"You smooth little troll. How'd you put that on me without me realizing?" Ren wondered.
"Simple. Yoruichi taught me how to do it," Shinji answered. Ren was shocked.
"Did she know you were doing this?" Ren asked.
"Hell no. There's no way she would have been able to keep it a secret," Shinji laughed.
"Not a chance in hell," Ren agreed. "Wow, so I get to be Ren Hirako."
"Damn that has a nice ring to it," Shinji commented.
"It does, doesn't it?" Ren agreed, leaning in to give Shinji another kiss.
"Yoruichi's gonna have a shit when we tell her!" Ren laughed.
"She's gonna kill me for not telling her beforehand," Shinji added.
"Well, I won't let her hurt you too bad," Ren assured her. "'Cuz, you know, I love you."
"I know. I love you, too, Lieutenant Hirako."
"No, you won't take that from me," Ren stated as she opened her eyes. She was in a different world now, one that was inside the depths of her very soul. She was staring into the face of a Hollow, her Hollow. At first, when she came into this inner world of hers, she met Hito and Kiri, who gave her some mostly encouraging words before they allowed the Hollow to come out.
The Hollow looked like a combination of Hito and Kiri and Ren. When they were in their normal forms, Ren's zanpakutō's were beautiful. Kiri's fair features were so light and delicate, and they went perfectly with her white hair, and her eyes were an endless pitch black with no visible iris. Hito could make any woman swoon before him. His features were strong, and his hair was as black as Kiri's eyes, and his eyes were so white that they matched Kiri's hair and they also had no sign of an iris. The inverted features of her two zanpakutō's spirits came together to from her Hollow; it was like it was split in half. One half had Hito's hair and eyes, while the other had Kiri's hair and eyes. While it kept her zanpakutōs' color scheme, the Hollow did take most of Ren's features. The body shape, most of the facial features, everything else matched Ren. What stuck out most to Ren was that, unlike her zanpakutōs, her Hollow had irises in its eyes, and they were a beastly yellow.
"Why not?" her Hollow asked her, its distorted voice raking against Ren's ears like nails on a chalk board.
"Those are my memories. You can't have them, you damn monster," Ren told it. Her Hollow had been trying to take Ren's memories, saying that she would take them in an exchange for more power for Ren, but Ren wasn't stupid. She knew that her Hollow was only trying to fool her, plus, her memories were way too important to her for her to just give them up.
"Me, a monster? Have you looked at yourself?" the Hollow asked. Ren looked down at one of her blades and held it up so she could see her reflection in it. Her eyes were just as yellow and beastly as the Hollow's were, and her face was covered in a mask. The right side was smooth, and the right eye socket was slanted and feminine; the right side of her mouth was normal, beautiful even. The left side, however, was a different story. The left eye socket just plainly looked pissed off, and instead of being smooth like the other half of the mask, the left side looked like it was made of multiple strips of whatever the mask was made of laid side by side, and they matched the contours of Ren's face, like a muscle of some sort; the left side of her mouth was nowhere near as beautiful as the right side: it was made of perfectly interlocked, beastly teeth.
"Damn. Sexy," Ren commented. The Hollow only shook its head.
"I chose to try to beat you mentally instead of physically and look at where it got me," the Hollow scoffed.
"Jokes on you," Ren breathed.
"I suppose it is. Obviously your will is too strong for me at this point, which I should have figured, you stubborn ass mule, but oh well. Better luck next time, I suppose," the Hollow ranted.
"Next time?" Ren asked it, wary of having to fight this thing again.
"Yeah, next time. I'll let you use my powers for now, but I'll never just lay down and fade away," the Hollow warned her. "I'll be back when you least expect it, and when that happens, I'll be the one in charge of this operation." Ren shuddered at the thought of her body being considered an 'operation', but she chose to ignore it for the moment.
"Sounds like you're a bit stubborn yourself," Ren commented.
"Well, I am a part of you, I suppose, so it only makes sense," the Hollow agreed.
"This is creepy that we're agreeing. Can you just fade away so we can call this a day? I have a worried husband to get back to," Ren told it.
"Fine, fine," the Hollow conceded, and it started to dissipate into the world around it.
"But remember," the Hollow began.
"You'll be back, I know, I know," Ren finished. The Hollow snickered as it finally finished fading away.
"Good work," Hito commented, appearing to Ren's left.
"I couldn't have done it better myself," Kiri agreed, appearing at Ren's right.
"You two definitely had an input on the mask," Ren commented.
"No shit? I didn't notice," Hito sarcastically scoffed.
"Silence. She's had a long day, Hito," Kiri warned.
"I have, so if you don't mind, I'll get back to you two later. I have important business to attend to," Ren told them.
"More like you have to go stop your husband from crying his eyes out in worry," Hito muttered.
"Is he crying?!" Ren asked, in shock and in worry.
"No, Ren. Hito's being an ass, as usual," Kiri assured her.
"Hey!" Hito cried out.
"Just pointing out the obvious," Kiri conceded.
"I-I'm just done here," Ren breathed, trying to ignore her bickering zanpakutō spirits. She closed her eyes, and darkness overcame her once more.
"Ren!" As Ren slowly came back into consciousness, she knew that she should have expected this. It was obviously Shinji that was yelling her name, and to top it all off, he had her by the shoulders and he was shaking the life out of her. It was quite frankly starting to make her feel a little dizzy.
"Sh-Sh-Shinji, sto-o-o-p," Ren called out.
"Ren?" Shinji called back. Now that he finally stopped shaking her, Ren felt that it was safe to finally open her eyes, but when she did open them, she received quite the heart-stopper.
"Where the hell is your hair?" Ren nearly screamed. All that long-ass hair, that Shinji had been so proud of, was now gone. Someone had chopped it all off, and now his hair barely went to his jawline, although the ends were still perfectly straight, just like he liked them.
"I ripped it all off of him," Lisa said in the background, and she sounded so serious when she said it.
"Haha, Lisa. What in the world are you wearing?" Ren asked her.
"You like? I chose it just for you," Lisa told her, standing up to show her just how short the skirt was, and that her shirt didn't come down all the way so that it showed off some of her torso
"I can see that," Ren commented, the sarcasm basically oozing off of her voice.
"Kisuke-san put us in gigais, and we figured we should probably change our appearances a little, to 'fit in' as he put it," Hachigen told her.
"Alright then," Ren replied, still not fully comprehending what was going on because she was a little disoriented, but she went with it.
"Get your ass up and I'll take you to your gigai," Hiyori called out.
"Hey! I wanted to bring her!" Shinji cried.
"Tough shit!" Hiyori yelled, throwing her sandal at Shinji and hitting him right in the face with it. Ren couldn't help but giggle when he fell back and hit the ground.
"Alright, give me a second," Ren called to Hiyori.
"You know, I do kind of like the hair. It frames that handsome face of yours nicely," Ren whispered to Shinji. Ren laughed when he blushed, because she could only see it around the edges of Hiyori's sandal.
"I'll take that," Ren stated, reaching down and grabbing the sandal, slowly peeling it off of Shinji's face.
"I'll try to look nice for you when I get back, dear," Ren teased Shinji.
"Pfft, like you have to try," Shinji snickered.
"Well, I'm shaving my head, so we'll see!" Ren called back to him as she ran off to catch up with Hiyori.
"WAIT! WHAT DID YOU SAY!?" Shinji screamed.
"Shut up!" Kensei yelled, smacking Shinji on the back of the head.
"Like she'd actually do it," Rose laughed.
"She'd still look great, even if she did do it," Lisa commented.
"Hey! That's my wife!" Shinji shouted.
"Oh? Do you feel threatened by me, Shinji?" Lisa challenged him.
"Well, no, I mean," Shinji began.
"Then let it go," Lisa told him, and the others laughed at the defeated look on his face.
"You got done pretty quick," Hiyori commented.
"With what, my Hollow?" Ren asked her, pulling a shirt down over her head.
"Yeah," Hiyori replied. She was looking anywhere but at Ren, since Ren was in fact getting dressed. It was now pretty obvious why Shinji had wanted go instead of Hiyori.
"Well, I knew I had to get to that buffoon in there, so I tried to make it quick," Ren told her.
"Was it hard?" Hiyori asked her, mildly startling Ren.
"I mean, mine wasn't too bad, but yours might be tougher," Ren told her. "Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Hiyori quickly told her. Ren just looked at her for a moment.
"I mean, it's," Hiyori stuttered. "This is all just so messed up! Why us? Why didn't anyone else believe us?"
At that point, Hiyori was almost in tears, which was obviously a rare occasion. Ren did the only thing that she knew to do, and she walked over to Hiyori, kneeled in front of her, and pulled her into a tight embrace. Hiyori buried her face on Ren's chest and just let the tears go.
"I'm scared," Hiyori admitted. Ren had just sat there and let her cry for a moment, but Hiyori finally confessed what was wrong with her.
"Hey, look at me, Hiyori," Ren coaxed, and Hiyori obliged her for a moment. Ren reached up and wiped some of her tears away.
"We're going to be alright," Ren assured her. "And you're going to be alright because we're all right here with you. You don't have to be ashamed because you're scared, Hiyori; we all are. You just have to fight through it."
"Promise you'll stay with me?" Hiyori pleaded.
"Yeah. Now put that tough-ass face of yours back on. You go in there with your head held high and you take your Hollow on like a champion and show it who's boss!" Ren encouraged her. Hiyori reached up and wiped the rest of her tears away, and then gave herself a light smack so she could regain her focus.
"Thanks Ren, you- you don't have pants on," Hiyori noticed, her face turning beet red.
"No she does not." Both of the girls looked around, only to see Shinji standing in the doorway of the room that they were in.
"EW! You're disgusting, Baldy!" Hiyori screamed, darting out of the room. Ren just had to laugh at the whole situation.
"Poor girl is probably scarred for life now, Shinji," Ren commented.
"She started it. I specifically told her that I wanted to bring you here for this part, but no, someone just had to intervene," Shinji rambled. "And I missed the best part."
"Maybe not. I do have tears all over my shirt now, so I might need to change it," Ren commented.
"Don't let me stop you," Shinji encouraged her.
"And I won't kick you out of here, as long as you promise to keep what just happened between me and Hiyori in here to yourself," Ren offered him.
"I wouldn't have said anything anyways. She'd kill me if I did," Shinji told her. Ren just shrugged and turned away from Shinji, pulling her shirt back over her head.
"Hey! At least turn around!" Shinji cried.
"What? The back view not good enough, sweetheart?" Ren taunted, throwing her wet shirt back at him and picking up a burnt orange halter top. (Author's Note: I know that they wouldn't have had some of their clothes a hundred years ago, but bear with me. I'm just giving you guys an idea of what she wears.)
"Ooh, I like this one," Ren commented, pulling the top over her head and down her torso. "Wanna fix the neck for me, Shinji dear?"
"Huh? Oh, sure," Shinji agreed, snapping out of his trance for a moment. He walked over to his wife and fastened the neck of her new shirt for her, although it was a little hard for him to focus at that point.
"Thank you," Ren told him once he was done. "You know, I still don't have pants on."
"I don't mind, really," Shinji assured her.
"I bet you don't, but everyone else might."
"Fine, fine. Take away a man's dreams, why don't you."
"Oh, get over it." Ren looked around for a moment, but then a black skirt caught her eyes. It wasn't quite as short as Lisa's was, but it wasn't overly long, either.
"Ha-ha! Found one!" Ren announced, picking the skirt up and quickly putting it on. When her announcement was met with nothing but silence, Ren quickly looked back at Shinji, only to see him staring at the floor. Ren just let out a short breath and walked over to him. Once she reached him, she lifted her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, slightly pulling him down to her level, enough so she could rest her chin on his shoulder. Shinji just buried his face in her shoulder.
"I was so scared, Ren," he whimpered.
"I know. I'm sorry you had to watch that, but it wasn't any easier for me when you had to go through it," she told him, running her hand through his hair.
"I'm not just talking about that, Ren. I thought you were dead. I was afraid you wouldn't be there when I woke up," Shinji reiterated, wrapping his arms around her waist. Ren just held him tighter.
"I promised you I'd always be there, right? I'm not going to leave you anytime soon, Shinji, and I mean that."
"I couldn't keep you safe, Ren." Ren felt a few tear drops fall on her bare shoulder.
"Don't cry Shinji. You couldn't have known what was going to happen."
"I'm still supposed to protect you, Ren, and I failed at that miserably!" Ren couldn't help it as her own tears started to fall; she couldn't bear to watch Shinji go through such sadness. She wanted to take that pain away from him, but here she was, wallowing in it herself.
"No, you didn't. We made it, didn't we? We're still alive, and I'm right here with you, so don't you dare feel guilty for what that bastard did. I love you, and you and me and all the others did all that we could, Shinji, and we made it to fight another day."
"I love you, Ren. Don't ever change, and please don't ever leave me."
"I won't, Shinji, I won't."
The couple just stood there, letting time pass them by as the held each other. Their comrades left them alone for a while, because they knew that at that time, Shinji and Ren needed each other more than ever. As they both let their tears fall, they shared one other's fears and sadness, with each trying to take the other's pain away, but finding that they had too much of their own to even try to do that. So they just stood there, embracing each other, trying to find some comfort in their love, the love that had stayed strong through one of the most horrendous moments of their lives. They had lived to fight another day, and they still had each other and their friends. He may not have realized it, but Aizen had successfully started a war with them, and it was a war that they would fight to the death in if they had to.
Author's Note: Thanks to ChibiCheshire, niteshine, TulipGirl15, and for all of the love!
