feels like flying


She doesn't notice him outside the library when she finally steps out.

She walks down the short flight of wide-stone steps to the street, right past the bench where he's been waiting for her in the last thirty minutes or so. He jumps to his feet to catch up. When he taps her shoulder and says 'hey', she starts.

"James." She sighs in relief at the sight of him.

"Hi," says James, his excitement waning by the second. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I'm okay," she assures him. She smiles. Something snags at its corners. "What are you doing here? I thought we weren't meeting till Friday."

"Yeah, but I—my plan went smoother than expected, I thought I'd… Is everything alright?"

"Just a bad day at work, sorry." She lets her smile strain itself. At least it's realer now. "I'm happy you're here. I missed you."

But he's worried about how out of it and jumpy she seems. He tilts his head, levels it with hers, tries to search it on her face—

"I might have to quit the library," explains Lily, beating him to it. "I'm not sure yet. But that's just it, really."

"Why do you have to quit?"

"I've only been under this sponsored internship with a few students, but everybody else is going back to Hogwarts this fall. They don't think they'd still be able to provide for allowance after this summer, or need interns," she explains. "It's okay. I can look for another job… Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure? You can get it out of your system."

"No, yeah, I'm sure. Please."

"Yes, okay," he says at once. He takes her hand and walks them down the damp, leaf-strewn street. "I have something for you."

"Oh?"

"Yep. A few somethings."

"Alright," she says, lightening up now. "Let's have it then."

"Right. I knew you would have a bit of a problem with the wand part, but—"

"Whoa, wait—the wand part? What wand part?"

"Well…"

"What—you are not buying me a wand! We've talked about this—"

"No, no, but, see—okay. First of all, it's not just me. The others pitched in, too. It's really not much, we promise—"

"Oh god. The others? James, you didn't have to—"

He halts and kisses the tip of her nose. He laughs at her expression, caught somewhere between pleased-surprised and petulant. "Hear me out?" James asks. Lips closed tight, she nods. "The boys, me, Marlene, and Fenwick—" He counts his mates off with his fingers, "—It's not a lot. You can pay us back later, so you'll be the one paying for it ultimately."

"What if I can't?"

"Can't what?"

"Pay you back. I did just tell you I might lose my job soon."

"You can." He squeezes her hand. "We'll help you find another job. No rush. No credit deadline. Zero interest. Perquisites of being my girlfriend, obviously."

She sighs a smile.

"Come on," James insists. "You have to let us give you the wand. Otherwise the rest of the somethings won't come through."

She narrows her eyes at him. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing you wouldn't love. I promised not to bore you, didn't I?"

"I'm still having fun."

He shrugs. "Wouldn't hurt to up my game."

It takes a few more steps to the mouth of the High Street. "Okay," she says, still hesitant, but James can tell she's excited now, too. "Wand granted."

"Yes—!"

"But I will pay you," she says firmly, "as soon as I can."

"Brilliant. Let's go."

"What—now? Right now?"

He pauses. "You don't have to be somewhere right now, do you?"

"No, but—I can't be late tomorrow! You got me late on your opening."

He nudges her, smirking. "Worth it though, yeah?"

She laughs. "Maybe."

"Just the wand today then. We'll get you home early. The rest on Friday… Have you ever apparated?"

"Er, no."

"Oh, you'll love it…"


Nothing much has changed with Ollivander's since the last time James was around. He's had to pay the wandmaker a visit more than once (his current wand is his third), but there's always something about this place, something that makes him feel like he's eleven again every time he's in it. The shelves, packed to bursting with wand boxes, are visible from the outside, but only just so because of the dusty glass panes. The shop seems to have no other customers besides them at the moment, although the street is bustling with shoppers idling by the nearby boutiques. James peers through the window, hands cupped on either side of his face. He doesn't think Mr. Ollivander himself is at his receiving counter at the moment, but the door says 'open', so they're good to go.

Lily seems to be rooted on the pavement by her nerves.

"Alright?" asks James, wiping the grime off the sides of his palms.

"Yes. Do you, er—I'm sorry, will you mind so much if I go in alone?"

"Oh."

"I'm sorry!"

"No, it's okay... are you sure?"

"Yeah. I just—I think I need to do this by myself."

"Of course," says James. "Okay."

"I'm sorry." She rushes forward and hugs him. He backs up slightly, taken by surprise, but he smiles and kisses the top of her head.

"It's really okay." When they break apart, he hands her the bag of galleons for the wand. That pained, embarrassed expression crosses her face again. "Nope, none of that," he reminds her. He takes her hand to wrap her fingers around it. "Go. I'll be here."

She hugs him tightly again, whispering 'thank you' and something else that he doesn't catch, before pushing the shop door open with shaking, clammy hands.


James asks about it later, when he's walking her home and she finally gives herself a brief break from doing every little, random spell on the top of her head.

"He asked me why I was only getting a wand now," she says, the words coming out in an excited, breathless rush, "which was odd because—isn't yours your second wand already?"

"Third," he corrects. "And that's because Ollivander remembers every single one who buys a wand from him, so he would know if he's seen you before."

"Really?"

"Hmm. Well, he says so, but I don't know."

"Right… Okay, so, he let me try a couple," she continues. "I broke some things by accident, spilled ink over some important-looking papers on the desk—and the fifth one was it! I made this vase of roses bloom. He had a couple on top of the front shelf. I made them bloom, and turned them yellow. They were red. I made them yellow. It was this one! This wand. This is my wand..."

Her excitement is so palpable it washes over to him. "How do you feel?"

"Like a witch," she says, barely above a sigh.

She looks up, all full smile and misty eyes and incomparable happiness, and it's the most beautiful James has seen her yet. Which is—unbelievable. Too much to comprehend and feel in just one lifetime, honestly, let alone in just one random, heartbeat-worth moment.

"It feels like flying," she adds, louder this time, but in that same reverent voice and with the same fascinated face.

She kisses him goodbye. Her lips are sloppy and happy and enthusiastic.

For a long time, James watches the spot where she disappeared round the corner, dazed.