A/N: at the end. Please read my pitiful aplolgy.
Being around Beastboy and Starfire at Christmas time is like being stuffed into one of those tacky festive snow globes and being shaken repeatedly: you get Styrofoam snow in your hair and it gives you a bit of a headache.
"DECK THE HALLS WITH BOWS OF HOLLY!"
"FALALALALALALALALA!"
"TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!
"FALALALALA...wait, Beastboy, forgive me but how many 'la's' are there again?"
"...I dunno just keep going till I come in again."
"Very well. LALALALALALALALALA!"
And by a bit of a headache I mean a splitting migraine that will stay with you for days.
It was only a week before Christmas and, thanks to our team's two most sugar-high members, the entire tower was covered inside and out with lights and various tinsel-related items. If either of them had any more energy, there would be fire coming out of their...well you get the idea. Said dynamic duo were busy loading our poor ancient Christmas tree with enough decorations to make it sag a little to the right in a rather pathetic, if not slightly endearing way while Cyborg was down in the garage making some new adjustments to the T-ship and Robin sat at the kitchen table, barely visible behind mounds of reports and other unpleasant paperwork. Though Starfire argued that "this is the season of joy not the season of...ick!" I thought we should just be thankful that he had moved his little office out of his room. That boy does not get enough sunlight. That coming from me.
And then there was me.
(Oh and Aqualad was lurking somewhere in the tower too. Don't know where though, I hadn't seen him all day.)
"Hey Raven?"
"No." I looked up at Beastboy from my place on the couch, resisting the urge to smack the Santa hat off his head.
"Come on," he whined, "you don't even know what I was going to ask."
"It's called an educated guess, Garfield."
"But-"
"No."
"What if-"
"No."
He slumped down next to me in what I hoped was defeat.
"...Whyyy?"
No such luck.
"Because, and now listen very carefully; I-do-not-want to!"
...
"But why?"
"ARGH!"
"Ow! Robin, Raven hit me!"
That little snitch!
"Guys!" Robin groaned "Shut up, I'm trying to work."
"Well, someone hasn't had their coffee this morning." Beastboy grumbled.
"Beastb-"
"WHAT THE FUDGECAKES DID YA'LL DO TO MY CAR!"
And cue another pissed off boy.
Life is full of wonderful little surprises is it not?
Just as I thought Robin was going to throw a shoe at Garfield (fair enough, I've always wanted to do that...maybe this afternoon), the common door burst open to reveal Cyborg, one hand balled into a fist of fury and the other wringing the living daylights out of a string of tinsel. He didn't even notice Robin storming out past him, muttering something that sounded a little like 'I should freaking sell you all to the gypsies!'
No...that couldn't have been it...
"I was just decorating!" Beastboy threw his hands up in exasperation.
Starfire leaned over to me and whispered, "I believe I should go after Robin, if we leave him to his own devices when he is in such a mood he is mostly likely going to spend the next hour or so kicking furniture."
Ahh, maturity doth reign supreme in this house.
"And what? Just leave me here with dumb and dumber?" I muttered, "I don't think so."
"Thank you Raven, I knew you would understand!"
Um...what? No.
"But-"
However no one listens to poor old Raven so she hurried out of the room while Cyborg yelled a stream of profanities that I, as a good... well decent, little girl am not at liberty to repeat.
When she had gone I turned my attention back to my dear moronic ones.
Ugh
Why do I always end up being these two's babysitter?
Because like it or not there is a trio taking shape here and you are part of it.
Well, how the frik did that happen?
...I dunno.
"Alright," I sighed "what's going on now?"
"HE PUT GLITTER IN MY BABY!"
"YOU NEVER APPRECIATE ANYTHING I DO!"
"Uh guys..." I tried.
"I'D APPRECIATE YOU SHUTTING UP!"
"Hello...?"
"YOU THINK EVERYTHING I DO IS STUPID!"
"OH, YEAH? WHEN DID I EVER SAY THAT?"
"IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT!"
"STOP BEING SUCH A GIRL!"
"YOU'RE SUCH A DOUCHBAG!"
It's like talking to a lamp.
A really stupid lamp.
There was nothing separating the boys now except the couch so I took the only logical course of action. I climbed up on the couch and banged their heads together.
"Aah! Raven!"
"That hurt! His head's made of metal! It's not fair!"
"Yeah? Well at least my heads not made of ass!"
What a yummy mental image.
"Ok, two things," I called over their arguing, this time actually securing their attention (I know, let the choirs sing). "Firstly...Cyborg, that didn't make sense and it was kinda gross, you are hereby forbidden to ever say that again. And secondly, you—" I pointed at Cyborg "—don't be a douchbag, and you—" I pointed at Beastboy "—don't put glitter in other people's cars...actually you know what? Just stay away from glitter altogether, it'll be better for everyone."
They looked at me and then at each other and shrugged.
"Now apologise."
I didn't know why I cared so much about their little squabble. I guess I was just bored.
Triiiiiiooo.
Go piss someone else off why don't you?
Um...I can't...I'm your subconscious.
...Try harder.
"...Sorry dude."
"...Sorry man."
Ahh peace.
They then initiated what I can only describe as an awkward, sideways man-hug.
Ahh...bromance?
"Right, now shut up." And I sat back down, pulling out a book from the depths of the couch (there could be a really bad reality TV show about what could be found in that couch. Steve Irwin would have hosted it. God rest his soul), praying that now that he had his BFFL back, Beastboy would leave me alone.
Probably not.
"Raaaven?"
Ah, I know him so well.
"Ugh, fine! What?" I looked up to see that our resident Christmas elf (see it's funny cause he's got pointy ears and he likes Christmas and... Shut up you're embarrassing yourself) had already put Cyborg to work stringing tinsel along every visible surface.
"You wanna make a gingerbread house?"
"Not really."
"You wanna put out the reindeer?"
We have a giant, glowing, mechanical reindeer we put on our roof every Christmas.
It terrifies me.
"No!"
"BB, she's scared of that thing."
"Oh yeah, sorry Rae. I forgot."
"I am not!...Shut up!...It freaking watches me!...Shut up!"
"Alright," Beastboy heaved a theatrical sigh, "because I am such an awesome, awesome friend and because you are so very dear to me..."
Oh dear.
"I will let you put the star on the tree... I know, I know, there's no need to thank me."
He shot me a dazzling smile.
"Beastboy-"
"Just do it," Cyborg called as he lassoed some tinsel around the cupboard in a way I can only describe as professional. "He'll probably cry if you don't."
...Probably.
"No I wouldn't!"
"Yes you would," I grumbled pulling myself off the couch.
I picked up the star from its specially allocated spot on the coffee table, flew up to the top of the tree and secured it in place.
"There. Happy?"
Beastboy was scrutinising my work with folded arms. "It's a little wonky."
The nerve! I didn't even want to do this in the first place!
"That's not my fault; the thing's practically made of duct tape!"
"Yeah, because people put it on wonky and it keeps falling off!"
"Well then, why don't you do it!"
"Because I'm trying to get you to have fun!"
...Oh?
I was saved from whatever bound-to-be-awkward thing I was about to say but the swishing of doors and indeed the swishing of hair.
Aqualad had entered the scene.
"Hey guys. Hey there, Raven."
Although in the long run this is probably going to be more awkward...
Run now. Run fast.
Shush, no. Starfire is completely wrong about this. Completely.
"Raven, did you put the star on? It looks fantastic!"
...
Oh crap.
"Oh...um, yeah thanks..."
"Yeah! Yeah! It looks awesome! Really, really...good! And awesome!" Beastboy yelled suddenly causing the three other occupants of the room to stare at him; me in confusion, Aqualad in incredulity and Cyborg in that really unflattering way when you're trying to not to laugh. You know the look, the one that makes your neck look really fat.
"I thought you said it was wonky." I said, raising my eyebrow in the way that only I can.
"Uh...who said wonky was a bad thing? I know I didn't...b-because that would be wrong..."
"...Ah?"
*awkward silence*
Well this situation is extremely unpleasant.
Told you to run but noooo.
Shut up, I'll deal with you later.
On the plus side thought, neither Beastboy nor Aqualad were looking at me, instead they were glaring at each other, muttering things like "So how are you?". I took this opportunity to shoot Cyborg a look that I hoped said "What the hell is going on and why is it so mind-blowingly awkward? Also why am I still hovering near the ceiling like the awkward balloon itself?"
Cyborg was saved from having to telepathically answer any of these questions by the familiar honking of the alarm system.
THANK YOU SWEET MURCIFUL FATE!
"TITANS TROUBLE!" Robin called as he dashed into the room with Starfire on his heels.
"Thank God!"
"Er...what?"
"...Never mind."
If I learnt anything that day it was that you cannot comfortably fit six people into the T-car.
Especially when three of the people in the back are rather well-muscled (note to self: never tell Beastboy that. He's already far too up himself than what's healthy) teenage boys.
And you are the fourth.
"This is...not working."
"What are you talking about Raven? Everything is fine." Starfire said, turning around in the passenger's seat. Ever since our road trip to Steel City she hadn't let anyone sit shotgun but herself.
"That's easy for you say; your face isn't in Beastboy's armpit!"
"Sorry Rae, but I seriously can't move."
"Can't you transform into a bug or something?" I groaned, trying to reposition myself
"Oh! No, please none of the bugs!"
She can fight psychotic super villains without a blink of an eye but Azar help us all if there's a spider in her room.
I mean, come on, Silkie's practically a bug.
"Yeah, I'm with Star, no bugs in the T-Car."
Add that to the list of other random things we're not allowed to take in there.
Soy sauce and pillows are also forbidden.
I don't know why not pillows. I've asked many times.
"Alright fine, let me suffocate, no one cares!"
"I care Raven."
"That's nice Garth."
"Guys, seriously can I brief you on the mission now?" Robin asked irritably from the other side of Aqualad.
"That's probably a good idea."
We'd been doing this for four years now and we still had conversations like this.
"Alright team listen up-"
"Dude we just said we were listening..."
"Beastboy shut up!"
"Sorry."
"Ok, so we've got a code 765 down on Fifth and Crescent."
...So lately Robin had been trying to get us to speak in code.
"Dude...what the hell did you just say?"
It wasn't working out so well.
"...Mumbo's loose in the museum...didn't any of you read my notes?"
Well...funny story...
"...There were notes?"
Heh heh...
"We had a meeting about this you guys!"
During which Beastboy and I played 46 straight games of tic tac toe under the desk.
I totally kicked his ass.
"Sorry Robin." We all chorused in unison.
"I have the notes Bumblebee gave me, do you wanna see Raven?"
"Er..."
"Get those away from her!"
"Ok ok, BB, calm the farm!"
"No, you can go calm your farm!"
"Alright...jeez, settle the kettle."
Worst car ride ever.
"Greetings Titans! I, the amazing Mumbo-"
"Dude, we know who you are..."
"Excuse me, do you mind? I'm trying to do my intro here."
The six of us stood in the rubble-strewn floor of the museum gazing up at the blue wannabe magician who was currently perched upon a model plane that hung from the ceiling.
Well, five of us stared, Beastboy kinda made small talk with him.
"Sorry, just saying you don't have to waste your breath."
"Oh never mind!" Mumbo cried in exasperation, "Just...Hocus Pocus!"
He waved his wand at the suit of armour next to Starfire, which jumped down from its pedestal and made a grab for her while the tyrannosaurus rex skeleton leapt to life. It roared at Robin and swiped at Cyborg with its tail. Mumbo waved his wand again and the giant chandelier above our heads exploded, raining down shards of glass. Then her chuckled with a certain merry insanity and clicked his fingers, disappearing in a puff of smoke.
"Don't worry guys, I can totally handle this!" yelled Beast Boy before turning into a pterodactyl and zooming towards the other dinosaur.
"A distant relative, eh, Beast Boy?"
Aqua chuckled happily at his joke and nudged me. I smiled grimly.
"Yeah, I get it."
Nudge, nudge.
"Stop elbowing me."
Nudge.
"No, seriously, don't touch me."
A giant blast of green shook the museum as the suit of armour was blasted to smithereens, the pieces scattering over the glossy polished floor.
We stared at Starfire, who looked furious, hands glowing a familiar green.
"It touched my hakzook fikmal!"
Oh dear, that sounds like a highly personal area.
"...Your what?"
"My butt."
Ah.
"It touched your butt?"
"Robin, cool the pool," Cyborg grunted as he ducked the dino tail again.
Where the heck are the boys getting these lines?
Speaking of boys with lame lines, at that moment Beastboy dropped down beside me, panting.
"I thought you could 'totally handle it'."
"Shut up."
"Come on, Titans," called out Aqualad. "We've handled dinosaurs before. I need someone to cover its tail, another to take care of its head—"
The t-rex roared again, this time a spurt of fire bursting out of its mouth.
Well, that's inspiring.
"Ok, Raven, Star: head," Robin said, attempting to maintain some of the dignity as our leader. "Cyborg, go after Mumbo—"
"No, you stay. Robin, go after Mumbo."
"Excuse me?"
Oh dear.
"Yes?"
Starfire and I exchanged a look of 'well this cannot end well'.
"I'm the leader, I call the shots."
"Ok, ok," Aqualad said, holding his hands up in defence. "What's up with you guys?"
Robin was about to reply but Beastboy pushed in front of him.
"I'll tell you what's up with us, you—"
"Oh trust me," Aqualad smirked, "I know exactly what's up with you."
And he glanced at me.
Ugh! I wish he'd stop doing that.
It's getting kinda creepy.
Beastboy's eyes widened and then narrowed. He looked like we wanted to punch Aqualad in the face. He might have too, if we hadn't been so rudely interrupted by the T-rex shooting a jet of fire at us.
Ah, nothing like a flaming wall of doom to defuse the tension.
I pulled up a shield of black energy just before the flames reached us. Then enveloping the dinosaur in it, threw it across the room. As it struggled to its feet Starfire shot a starbolt at its head and it lay still.
"Now, we may all go after Mumbo," Star folded her arms in annoyance. "Does that suit everyone?"
Without waiting for an answer, (she finally understands rhetorical questions! I'm so proud!) she flew out of the room with me on her tail.
"Boys are stupid."
"Agreed."
We found Mumbo two floors up, clutching what looked like an ancient tribal sceptre.
"Now all the magic in the world shall be mine! What a finale! Thank you, thank you!" He bowed to his imaginary audience.
Oh great, he's talking to himself again.
I wrapped the sceptre in my power, ripped it out of Mumbo's hands and pulled it through the air towards me.
"No!" he cried, "Give me back the staff!"
Hehe, now all the magic in the world is mine! Mine, I say!
Just kidding, I'm a reformed demon child.
Or am I?
Shut up.
Sorry.
"Sorry, Mumbo," Robin yelled as he ran through the door behind us. "But it's time to put you on ice!"
And he threw one of his ice disks at the villain's feet, freezing him instantly.
Hehe...it's funny because, you know...ice.
What are you on? It's not funny at all.
I know but I have to at least pretend his puns aren't lame; otherwise I'd want to kill myself every we beat anyone.
...fair enough.
We looked around at each other as the sound of sirens in the distance grew louder.
All was silent until Cyborg folded his arms with a serious look on his face.
"So...who wants waffles?"
By the time we got back to the tower you could've cut the tension with a knife.
Well, maybe a chainsaw actually.
It was some pretty thick tension.
I really didn't know why though; I though everyone was over reacting.
Robin was pissed at Aqualad because of the whole 'I'm the leader' thing, which then lead to him look stupid in front of his girlfriend.
Aqualad was pissed at Beastboy because... I don't know actually.
Beastboy was pissed at Aqualad because, well, I don't know that one either but I never know what's going on with him.
Cyborg was pissed at Aqualad (I'm beginning to see a pattern), because he spilt his soda in the car.
Maybe that's why Beastboy's pissed; cause now we're not allowed to have soda in the T-car.
...I doubt that's it.
It might be; he's pretty stupid.
The doors swooshed open as the four of us entered the common room (robin and Starfire had gone off to sharpen his birdarangs. Which may or may not be code for make out...I hope not).
I would have disappeared too, but I was starving.
Alright, Raven, you have a plan, that is both simple and effective:
Make a sandwich or something.
Not ham.
Teleport back to your room.
Lock the door
Close the curtains
Meditate for the next few hours/ hide from the moronic problems of the spandex wearing idiots you call friends.
You wear spandex too...
Yeah but I have a cape; that cancels it out.
...If you say so.
I was considering whether or not it would be worth it to scrape the mould off the cheese (we desperately needed to go grocery shopping) when and incoming video call popped up on the computer screen.
Beastboy and Aqualad were slouched, scowling at each other on opposite ends of the couch and I was hiding behind the fridge door so Cyborg took it upon himself to answer it. As he accepted the call an image of Bumblebee appeared on the screen.
"Yo, Bee!" Cyborg smiled brightly, "What's up?
"Oh hey Sparky," She returned his smile, looking slightly worried, "Um... I saw just wondering if you guys had seen- Aqualad? Is that you?"
"Um...hey Karen."
I crawled out from my hiding spot to stand next to Beastboy and Cyborg and who were surveying the two Titans East members with identical looks of confusion. Due to the fact that every time I appeared on a scene, Aqualad stared at me weirdly (which I was quite sick of) when I made it to my teammates I stayed crouched behind Garfield's armrest.
"What are you doing?" He asked, looking down at me
"Hiding from Garth," I hissed, "shut up."
As we turned out attention back to Bumblebee and Aqualad, I could have sworn I saw a smile on his face.
Well at least he's not throwing a hissy fit anymore.
"Boy, don't you 'hey Karen' me!" Bumblebee was yelling, "Where the hell have you been?"
...
"I uh," Aqualad glanced at us nervously then back to his team's leader "I was dropping off the report for you remember?"
"No. I remember you begging to deliver the report personally despite the fact that I could have just e-mailed it, and you saying that it'd only take an overnight trip!"
... x2
"Yeah...?"
"IT'S BEEN A WHOLE WEEK YOU IDIOT!"
"Yeah..."
"Um..." I ventured, getting to my feet. Risky I know but In really had no idea what was happening, "What's going on?"
Bumblebee looked at me.
Then at Aqualad.
Then back at me.
Then back at Aqualad.
A look of understanding dawned on her face.
Then she smashed her palm against her forehead.
"Nothing" She groaned, "Just come home you sadass, we've got work to do," She turned back us with a much cheerier look on her face, "See you guys later, hope you have a merry Christmas."
Bumblebee disappeared from in front of us as we stared at Aqualad in disbelief.
"Dude..." Beastboy began, "You ran away from home...?"
"...No."
"Just to hit on Ra-"
"NO!"
...
Oh Azar.
"Well," Garth said in a very final tone, "I guess I'll be going then. Bye guys, merry Christmas. Say goodbye to Robin and Starfire for me...Bye Rae."
OH GOD! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
"Bye Garth."
As soon as he had left I turned to the others.
"...Did he like...have a crush on me or something?"
They just laughed.
Boys are stupid.
A/N: PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS!
heh heh...ok i know its kinda been like MONTHS since i updated AND I'M SO SORRY!
FOOOOORGIIIIVE MEEEEEE!
random saddo begging aside, I can actually explain myself. since you last heard from me, I've had to do the following:
Studying School Cert. trials -for those non-aussies among u (actually, are any of you australian? that'd be cool) its pretty much the first bigass important state wide test kids do hereStudying like a mad womanReal School Cert.Work experience for a whole week- I had to get 4 buses a day and I was tired when I got home dammit!Music tour with my school for three daysSchools Spectacular for three days (if you don't know, i'm too lazy to explain; go google it)Business Week Year (grade) 10 graduation/S.C results/reports (SECOND IN ENGLISH BITCHES!...and 1st in P.E but i'm fairly sure that's a misprint...)And since the holidays began I've had a pool party, a birthday party and a 'thank god this crappy year is over'/ annus horibius party (well I liked 2010...)It was MY birthday on the 21st dec (on which I wrote this for you people!)Random sporadic Christmas preparationsMASSIVE WRITERS BLOCK THE WHOLE TIME!And my computer got a virus and everything got deleted and I was like 'NOOOOOO' but then we got it all back and I was like 'WOOOOOO'MY COMPUTER DELETED HALF OF THE CHAPTER AND I HAD TO RETYPE IT FROM MEMORY!My internet is a ball of crapYeah...so basically I've had a really crazy past few months and that, on top of the fact that I am naturally lazy is why this is so late...
but I made sure I would have it done in time for Christmas :)
So merry christmas, happy new year and viva la lizards!
Oh and I'll be changing my pen name soon.
This is because when I created this account I was a *shudder* twilight fangirl.
And now I'm not
like SERIOUSLY not.
Please don't give up on me!
I still love you and I am 100% dedicated to finishing this!
ok, thats all.
PEACE OUT MA BROTHAS!
