I don't own anything, duh.

When we last left off…

He hated me.

But I had to go on.

If not for him, if not for me, if not for Charlie, than for the one I was carrying inside of me.

Three Months Later

Time is of the essence. Whoever thought of that was an idiot. Right now, all I want is for time to speed up or stop completely. Having it drag on like this day by day is torture, going through each day is even worse.

My life's purpose is to keep on living for this baby. Whoever is inside me will keep me from being alone, will give me someone I can hold and tell I love. Even if I will never hear that from the person I wish most to hear it from. I would not eat if I did not have the baby to feed, I would not sleep if I didn't have the baby to provide energy for, and I would not live if I did not have the baby to live for.

Charlie decided to take back what he said, after he saw what a mess I was. He always tells me that all this stress cannot be good for the baby, but I do not know what to do. It is not like I have a switch that can change my emotions from numb to happy and carefree in a moment. He is helping me with the baby now. I could never be more grateful because sometimes I am sucked into the memories and I can only lay there screaming as my own mind tortures itself.

His arms wrapped around me, 'I love you Bella.'

The night we gave ourselves to each other replayed in my mind over and over. I screamed in pain as the fire consumed my body, if I had gone through the change I would say this was one hundred times worst. My broken heart cracked more over and over as the memories played over and over.

"Bella, please honey. It will be okay." I realized I was sobbing into my father's chest. Even if it wasn't the chest I longed for, it gave me the comfort and some of the love I needed.

"No," I sobbed. "He hates me. He hates me…"

Would these horrible memories ever stop tormenting me? Would my mind torture itself until I finally cracked? I would not be able to handle it if Charlie sent me back to Phoenix. He would only be doing it to help me because I know it hurts him too seeing me this way, so I would not be holding it against him if he did send me away. But I know it would only make it worse because I would not be able to handle it if I was separated from everyone I had left, or from the few memories I had of him. Even though it killed me to watch every scene, I was terrified to forget. So I tried to look as if I was healing. A deep bruise that had damaged the tissue but showed no sign of being hurt on the outside. A bruise that never seemed to stop aching.

Birth

"It's a boy, congratulations Miss." An elderly nurse told me as she took away the squirming thing that she held in her arms. I closed my eyes and wiped my forehead with my hand that was not being held in Charlie's in an attempt to rid of the sweat that had gathered in my eyebrows. A small smile danced on my lips and I laughed softly in relief.

"I think another one is coming!" The doctor announced and they each of them readied for the next thing to come out of my stomach.

"Bella, you're going to have to push a little more, alright honey?" I nodded towards Charlie, who squeezed my hand comfortingly. I squeezed hard and gave one last agonizing cry and loud miraculous cries filled the room. My cries reminded me of Star Wars, strangely. When Padme gave birth to her twins she died right after. What would it be like if my fate matched hers? Would I be grateful for a release, or guilty for leaving everyone else alone? I was already so much like her, so much it was kind of strange. No, I would fight against that, I would not end up like her.

"My baby, my babies…I didn't even get to see them." I cried, my tears spilling over the rims.

"You will, Bells. They just have to help one of them." Charlie assured me calmly. I nodded back, relief filling me a little.

"Excuse me, Miss?" I looked at a fairly young looking nurse, holding a small bundle in her arms. "You had two babies; the one you are currently holding is the male. The other one, which is a girl, is being cleaned up and will be out in a while. Please choose the name for your son."

I thanked her with a smiled as she handed me my small blue bundle. His eyes stared at me with interest, and I felt as though I could weep. Whether for joy or for sorrow, I was uncertain. Those orbs were the exact same shade of green as his. He had no hair, only a bit of soft peach fuzz that was unrecognizable as any color. The small human being smiled up at me and I smiled in return, caressing his soft cheek as he stared up at me in amazement.

"Miss? The name?"

I nodded to her. "Avery. Avery Anthony Cullen."

"What color hair do you suppose he will have?" I wondered out loud to particularly no one.

My question went unanswered as doctors filled the room, but I didn't look at them. My eyes were transfixed on Avery's face. "Miss Swan? If you let me take your son, I will be able to give you your daughter." I lifted my head to the object the nurse held. We traded babies and I looked at my daughter.

She was definitely beautiful, her facial structure very similar to his with a straight nose and high cheekbones. Even her eyes were the same color as his. She has no hair, as do most babies, but I knew that with time she would have a whole head full of bronze locks.

Two grass green eyes looked into mine in wonder and I smiled as I brushed my finger against her nose making her sneeze which caused Charlie and me to laugh.

Her form began to shake after that sneeze as coughs moved her whole body. She seemed to struggle for breaths as her skin turned a light shade of blue.

"Nurse?" I asked alarmed. She looked up from the documents she had begun to fill out and looked at me in a bored manner that soon became startle as she took in the shaking infant's sight.

"Oh my God, Doctor! We have a problem!" She called and in no time the same doctor who helped me deliver the babies came in and grabbed my daughter out of my arms.

"She's losing oxygen quickly, get the oxygen bag and prepare for cpr!" They all rushed out of the room and into another.

"Don't worry, Miss Swan, the chances that the girl will survive are very high. The doctors know what they are doing. Know while we wait, would you like to tell me the name of your daughter?" The nurse picked up her documents and waited for my answer with her pen in position to scribble it down.

I stared blankly at her, still in shock from the sudden emergency. The feeling was such as when you get a paper cut. You see the blood, but you do not feel the sting and when you do you want to do anything to stop it. The sting had not come yet and I was still watching it bleed. "Yes, Sage Elizabeth Cullen."

The room was silent except for the smooth scratching of the pen as it scared the paper. Charlie squeezed my hand but I still only saw the blood no sting, yet.

"When do you think they'll bring her back?" Even though my voice was a soft whisper it broke the glass of silence like a hammer.

The nurse shrugged as she continued to mark down information and Charlie looked as if he was about to demand a better answer than that but he was interrupted by the swing of the door. The doctor had returned. He was a very strange doctor, in my opinion. His skin was as pale as a vampire's, and I would have guessed he was one if he had not had such normal pale blue eyes and mousy brown hair. His features were soft and average with a nose that was a little too big to be considered beautiful.

He walked up to me, his face was composed to look sad but his eyes shone with pride and admiration for himself. "I am very sorry to say, Miss Swan, but we were not able to give your daughter enough oxygen to survive."

My ears felt as if they were stuffed with cotton and my vision swam. A baby's cry was heard somewhere far in the distance along with rushed commands. Figures moved quickly around me, making my head dizzy. I closed my eyes, wishing to remove myself from the world, with its pain and death. My mind left my head and I fell into a deep sleep, one that I had longed for.

Hey guys, long time no see. SORRY!!! But we all get distracted, right????

Bella's not dead so don't fret. Things will get better, not the next chapter, but the next next chapter. Well, they might not get better, but you will find out what the hell is wrong with me, why I am so stupid, and why I am so screwed up. This is definitely not a Jacob and Bella story, so don't worry about that either. Sorry again for the wait, I hope to update sometime at the end of this week because I'm not going to be here at all next week during spring break, I'm going on a long trip. But I also have a lot of stuff this week for school, so hopefully I'll write the chapter, give it to my beta, correct it, and then update by Friday! Yay! Hopefully :S

Mia