Going Under
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
- "She Will be Loved" by Maroon 5
Chapter 8
Her mother's concentration on her book wavered the second Usagi walked into the room.
"Usagi?" she asked, her face breaking into a smile
"Hi, Mom" Usagi said, stepping closer to the bed, "How are you?"
Her mom waved away the question, "We heard about Diamond. The news"
Usagi nodded, knowing what she was talking about as Mamoru and the guys had shown her the segment where Diamond was proclaimed as a convict, blamed for stock market problems, the Shields' family death and an attack on his unnamed girlfriend, among other things.
"Where is Diamond? I want to kill him," her dad said; rage consuming his voice. Usagi could tell he was taking it hard. The first boyfriend of Usagi's he had let his guard down to trust had made her life hell.
"Nobody knows. They think he's in Nevada though" Usagi shrugged, "They'll catch him eventually"
"Oh, honey," her mom said sorrowfully, "Why didn't you tell us?"
"…he threatened to-to hurt all of you. That's why I ran away, I thought maybe I could spare anyone finding out and get away from him at the same time" Usagi said, sitting down on the edge of the bed
"What went wrong?" her mom asked, sitting up with difficulty
"He found me, of course"
"Oh, honey. It's over now," she said as she pulled her arms around Usagi in a comforting position.
"What did he do to you?" Her dad asked coldly, "The news said his girlfriend was harmed"
"Just in his haste of getting away, he got a little rough," Usagi said, resting her head on her mother's lap
"That son of a-"
"Kenji, stop" Ikuko said, shaking her head, "It's done. She's free"
"You knew, didn't you?" Usagi asked quietly, her eyes on her mother's face
Ikuko lovingly smoothed Usagi's hair, "How couldn't I? He always seemed obsessed with you. And you- your eyes…they were so hollow when you smiled. It killed me to see you like that. That's why I gave you my money"
Usagi closed her eyes, "And I wasted it all"
"What? You knew!?" Kenji roared, "Why didn't you tell me?" Kenji asked Ikuko, pain in his voice
"You would have gone and tried to kill Diamond…and hurt yourself instead," Ikuko said slowly, knowing it was the truth
Usagi opened her eyes, "Thanks, Mom, so much"
"I don't need your thanks, dear, I just want to see you happy" Ikuko said, smiling down at her amazing daughter
"Enough about me. How have you been doing?" Usagi asked, sitting up
"I tire easily and sometimes I get some aches and pains, but other than that I'm doing well," Ikuko said
"The doctor said she's improving at great speed," Kenji said proudly, his voice still slightly shaking at what Ikuko had revealed. He looked past the two of the women on the bed sadly.
Usagi smiled, trying not to let her worry ruin the moment. However she couldn't help be skeptical. Almost two months ago, her mother had experienced a stroke. It hadn't been too serious, but the risk for more serious strokes was much more apparent. It sucked that just when her mother needed rest and relaxation, all this stuff was happening to Usagi.
Usagi just hoped that it didn't affect her mother in a negative way.
"Now, come, Shingo will be here in an hour or so, did you want to invite the girls? We'll make a party out of it" Ikuko said
Usagi nodded, "That would be great. I feel like a celebration is in order"
"After everything that's happened, it definitely is"
***
Usagi looked around at the people she loved with all her heart. This was her family. The girls fit in perfectly with her parents and Shingo, and in that case, the girls felt that this was their family as well. They'd all been there for her through thick and thin, never wavering in their support and love and Usagi couldn't thank them enough. The girls felt much differently, they thanked the stars that Usagi had appeared in their lives, a lone star of brilliance.
Rei teased Minako mercilessly about her crush on a male model, laughing uproariously as Minako blushed. Rei had only had her grandfather before Usagi had befriended her and she had lived in utter loneliness before then. She could still remember the lonesome days she had spent sweeping the shrine's steps. Then her memories morphed into long days and nights of spending time with her friends. She had considered Ikuko and Kenji her step-in parents ever since that night when her grandfather had been in a car accident. They, along with the girls and Usagi, had waited all night with her in the hospital till they were told that her grandfather would be okay. She couldn't imagine life without them and she hoped she never would have to. When she had heard about what Diamond had done…nothing could describe the rage and sorrow she had felt. Rage at Diamond for even thinking he could hurt Usagi and sorrow that she hadn't seen it before. She should have known! Usagi had been her best friend for more than half her life and she hadn't even realized it when she had been getting the life beat out of her. She wanted to rip Diamond to shreds and then she wanted to rip herself into shreds…how could she call herself Usagi's friend if she'd been unable to help her in her time of need?
Makoto punched Shingo lightly on his arm and he rubbed his shoulder, either pretending to be hurt or her punch had actually hurt. She giggled. She remembered only moments of her life before Usagi had brightened her doorstep. The long gone plane crash was a distant memory that she only remembered talking about now. The many foster homes she had gone through just a memoir of worse times, something to look at and realize that she had survived and that times were just perfect now. Now, she had amazing sisters, two loving parents and an annoying little brother. She no longer had to hide in her hard shell and hope people wouldn't be able to break it down and make her feel sorrow when they left her. She knew now that she had found something that could never be left behind. But then Diamond had come along. She had felt something off about him the second she had met him, but he had hidden himself really well and Makoto had fallen into his trap, just like everyone else. She wanted to torture the son of a bitch till he regretted even setting his eyes on Usagi and then possibly torture him a little bit more. She couldn't believe that she had just sat on her ass and waited for something to happen. What had happened to the protective Makoto? The one who would kill anyone who even thought about hurting those she cared about?
Ami focused all her concentration on making the move, finally choosing, she moved her knight up. "Checkmate" Ikuko said, making her move and grinning at Ami. Ami grinned back. She smiled at the thought when she had first seen that smile- on a different person, but the same love and kindness emanating off of it-maybe even more of it. Ami had been the loner, considered too smart for everyone else to hang out with her. But then Usagi had stepped in and enlisted her help- and immediate friendship had bloomed. She had found her support system, people she could let her guard down around and love explicitly, knowing they would never hurt her. Apart from the girls, Usagi's family had become her family, always there for her. Especially Ikuko and Kenji, both had taught her that there was love in the world, something her own parent's hadn't been able to convey well. And Usagi- there weren't enough words in the English language to convey the depth of Ami's feelings for her. It had killed Ami to discover what she had about Diamond's doings, to think that someone could hurt Usagi like that. But she hadn't lost her thoughts, instead she employed them to help Usagi out of there and it had worked. But she should have known it would have been harder to hide Usagi- when Diamond owned half of the country, there wasn't much someone could do to prevent him from getting what he wanted. But she could have done more, and she should have. She wouldn't rest till Diamond was arrested and in jail for the rest of his life.
Minako blushed as Rei and Usagi made fun of her for falling in and out of love easily. It was true, she was very temporary- but with her family, she was the truest of them all. Although she was directly related through blood because her father and Usagi's father were brothers, she belonged because she loved them and they loved her. She had found that blood was not always thicker than water. She had been sent away from her parents at the young age of 8 to live in London because of a better learning environment, and then at 12, she had come back to California to live almost as if alone in a large house with many servants. She wasn't complaining, but she was used to being alone- but then she had been introduced to Usagi. The two were almost twins; they had the same thick, long blonde hair, same peppy personalities and the same loving personas. Whoever had said opposites attract hadn't known how much similars were drawn to each other. In no time, they were the closest of friends, the inseparable cousins with a large family that loved them. She had noticed Usagi drawing away from them ever since Diamond had come around- but in her desperate attempt to shield herself from the truth, she had thought that was how it got when someone fell in love so deeply, that nothing was more important than the other- that was how she felt about her family after all. But she had never been able to shake off Usagi's look of despair hidden deep in her eyes. She had never hidden it well enough- and couldn't have from Minako's eyes. But what had Minako done? Absolutely nothing. She had waited for Ami to point out the obvious before she let herself even think of it. Minako had never been one for violence, but at the idea that Diamond had even touched a hair on Usagi's head with malice in his mind, she felt like- like killing him. She wanted to rip his heart out and make him feel the pain that Usagi had felt, that she and the rest of Usagi's family had felt.
"Food's ready!" Kenji said, popping his head through the open screen door and then instinctively moved out of the way as Minako, Makoto and Shingo rushed past him. He felt like he had four extra daughters that he loved with his whole heart, even though his wife had only given birth to Usagi and Shingo. He loved his children- be they related by blood or not- and would give his life to save any one of them. His eyes narrowed in utter rage as he thought of Diamond Chambers, his hands clenching and nails biting roughly into his skin. He felt the need to hit something- anything and would have given all the money he had to have Diamond's face materialize in front of him. That son of a bitch had hurt his daughter- his little angel and had gotten away with it. In front of his eyes, Usagi helped Ikuko to her feet and, leaning Ikuko's weight on her, walked slowly to the backyard. His mind was transported back to when Usagi had first rested in his arms and had opened her bright blue eyes to look at him curiously. Her beautiful eyes had held nothing but love, and they had never changed as she grew- until she had finally revealed what Diamond had done to her- that was when all the sorrow that she had been hiding had come out. He had never thought Usagi so skilled at hiding her feelings from him, but he had never been so wrong. His wife, even when sick, had noticed that something was wrong. His life revolved around the women in his life and his son and it killed him that they had hidden this from him. Both his wife and daughter had withheld the truth in fear that Kenji would have done something stupid- God knew he would have done something illegal. But he didn't care. As long as he protected them, anything was worth that.
"C'mon daddy! The food's getting cold!" Usagi called to her father who was staring at the empty living room with a slightly angered look on his face. She had hurt her father more than she had thought she could. She had known he would take it badly that both her and her mother had chosen to hide from him the horrible truth- but she couldn't have bared her father getting hurt. Or anyone else for that matter.
She wondered what would have happened if Diamond had never found her- how everyone would have taken it. But it was useless to think of what ifs. She was happy that everything had been revealed, it was like she had been carrying this huge burden and when the truth had been told, it had dropped off of her. But now a new tension set in. If any of her friends and family got the chance, what would they do to avenge her?
But much much more importantly, what would Diamond do to them to get his revenge on her?
Shingo observed his sister's calm exterior, but he knew her too well to not realize when she was worrying excessively.
"You okay?" he asked her quietly as he sat besides her, drawing her attention from Makoto and Minako's bantering.
"Me?" Usagi asked brightly, "I'm fine"
"Why didn't you tell me that day? When I asked you about the bruise?" he asked, looking down at the cup of soda in his hands. He knew she knew what he was talking about. The second he had seen the bruise, he had known something was wrong- and that Chambers had something to do with it. He remembered how Diamond had brushed off Shingo's concern and seemed confused as to why Shingo was blaming him. His performance had been a little too perfect, and Shingo should have realized that. After that, Usagi had avoided him like the plague, always managing to get out of their dinner dates at the last second, as if hoping she could distance herself from his worrying gaze.
"He threatened you," Usagi whispered, "He said if you went after him, he would make you lose your job, your scholarship…everything"
Shingo sighed, hating Chambers even more as the time passed. He hated seeing his sister so weak. It had been his life goal when he was young to scare and annoy Usagi, but now that someone was doing it, he wanted to destroy the person.
"So what, Usa?" he asked quietly, "That's nothing compared to what you went through"
She shook her head, "Don't kid me, Shingo. He would have destroyed your life…all of our lives, just to keep me"
"Well, he won't get the chance now," Shingo said coldly, his eyes narrowed at nothing in particular, "He's going to be in jail before he even sees you again- or dead. I don't rather care which"
And he felt that way in his heart.
Usagi patted his shoulder comfortingly, "I know, Shin. Everything's good now. I can start over again"
The day passed quickly as the family talked, joked and enjoyed together. Pretty soon it was time for everyone to leave, as all of them had work tomorrow and Shingo had college. They all left slowly, taking their time. Minako was the last to leave as she lived the closest.
"Usagi, walk me to my car?" she asked as she got out her coat.
"Sure," Usagi said as she put on her slippers and headed out behind Minako.
"Have you thought about getting back to work?" Minako asked
"I have. I don't think California Times is going to take me again though, I left without explaining, and my boss hates me," Usagi said, frowning into the night
"How about working at the agency? I'm pretty sure we need more photographers and I hear the pay is good," Minako offered, hoping that Usagi would take it. She knew how Usagi got when left all alone. She would worry over what Diamond was up to till she was driven up the wall with her own worrying.
"That would be amazing! I'll definitely check it out," Usagi said, bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. She would love working for Gods and Goddess Beauty, ever since Minako had started working there, she had been an instant hit and she couldn't help but hope that her photography would be boosted just as well.
"Great! Come by tomorrow during lunch," Minako said, beaming at Usagi
Usagi knew that Minako was trying to distract her from everything that was happening and she was happy to have her.
"Thanks, Minako" she said, bowing her head. Minako brought Usagi into a loving hug.
"Anything you ever need, Usa. You know you can ask me," she said as she came out of the hug and opened her car door.
"I know, Mina-chan. I'll see you tomorrow," Usagi said as she stepped away.
Minako started the car and backed out of the driveway, heading slowly away from the house, watching Usagi in her rearview mirror.
***
"The search for Diamond Chambers remains open. Diamond Chambers, heir of the Chambers business was convicted on counts of bribery, blackmail, and countless others. The more distinct of his charges are first, the attack on his girlfriend, who was told to have been seriously hurt by Chambers and second, the long ago murder of the Shields family. The Shields family, as I am sure most of us old timers remember with love in our hearts, were the pride and joy of businesses. It was a tragic day when the entire family was in a fatal car crash. New evidence has emerged that Chambers is to blame for the car crash. Let us all bring Diamond Chambers to justice and avenge the Shields family, Darien and Lilly Shields in particular."
Usagi sighed as a photo of the two children came up. Lilly looked like a smaller version of her elder brother, her long black hair was silky and her blue eyes shone brightly. Darien, his short black hair ruffled in a cute way, smiled beside his sister. He looked like such an innocent child. Usagi mentally compared Darien Shields with Mamoru Chiba. Mamoru was much different from his past self, almost a completely different person. Looks wise, Mamoru had matured from a cute child into a breathtakingly handsome man. Personality wise, it looked like Mamoru had been broken by his difficult life. There was an apparent spark in Darien Shields' eyes that wasn't ever present in Mamoru's.
Usagi got up and flipped off the TV. Her parents had headed to sleep almost two hours ago and the house was quiet. Pulling the blanket from the sofa, she headed outside, wanting to breathe some fresh air. She shivered in the chilly air, pulling the blanket closer around her body. Fall was definitely on its way.
She looked up to the stars; surprised she could actually see quite a few. She had forgotten that this far from the city stars were visible. Back in New York, she could never see the stars.
Looking at them again reminded her of the first night she had kissed Diamond. It had been a night where she had been unable to sleep- much like this one. It was a starry night and a full moon and she had been admiring the stars. Diamond had approached her, magically appearing out of nowhere and without a word he had kissed her. She had thought it hopelessly romantic and had swooned at the thought.
Suddenly a crunching noise broke through her thoughts. A man was walking by the house, his hands buried in his pockets, his head bent downwards. He looked up as he felt eyes on him.
"Mamoru?"
Mamoru blinked at the goddess under the stars, then as she stepped closer, she revealed herself to be Usagi.
"Usagi?"
"What are you doing here?" Usagi asked slightly suspiciously, wondering if he had lied when he had said they wouldn't be keeping tabs on her anymore.
"I was taking a walk," Mamoru explained, "to some places I knew back when I lived here"
"This late?" she asked quietly, sitting down on the steps and patting the spot beside her.
Mamoru sat down, "Truth is I couldn't sleep. Being back here is…difficult" his eyes met Usagi's for a split second before he looked away.
"I don't know if he told you, but Jason told me…about it all"
"Yeah, he mentioned," Mamoru responded, knowing she felt pity for him. Pity wasn't a new thing in his life and he was so used to it that it didn't even annoy him if someone pitied him. But he also knew she was the one person who deserved to know his past.
"I'm so sorry, Mamoru," she whispered, looking up at the sky
Mamoru sighed, "So am I. We lived near here, you know? About three blocks down. Now another family lives there, they seem so happy"
Usagi looked back down at him, seeing the haunted look in his eyes and reached for Mamoru's hand and took it within hers, knowing that Mamoru needed to talk about it without interruption.
Mamoru looked down at their intertwined fingers, "I watched the kids play for a little while. Lilly, Fiore and I were like that. We always spent time together. I look back on it and I just…I can't take it"
He stopped, wondering why he was telling Usagi all of this. There was something about her that made him comfortable; he had realized that the first time he had danced with her. He couldn't help but be eternally grateful that Jason had told her the truth. It had been so hard for him not to tell her- but harder to think that he would be revealing everything about himself. But now that it was done, she knew him- just as he knew her. It wasn't a must that he tell her, it was a need that he felt deep within himself. Something he couldn't fight anymore.
"Lilly was amazing. I used to think that sisters and brothers had to fight all the time and that the relationship we had was unnatural and just because of that I would pick fights with her. But she knew exactly how I felt and she went along with it. She wouldn't even complain to Mom and Dad, just suck it up and fight me as well as she could. She used to love pinching me" he smiled at the memory, almost feeling the slight pressure on his hand
"I loved her so much. She was barely 11 when-" he stopped, wiping the tear away from his eye.
"It's okay," Usagi said softly, "It's okay"
"It's getting better," Mamoru corrected her quietly, "It'll only be okay when Chambers is locked up for what he did to her"
"He will be," Usagi agreed, "Before you know it"
And she believed it. With Mamoru on the case, Diamond would get caught. Mamoru, although obsessed with his revenge, would do his best to take Diamond down, and on the way, he'd protect her as well.
"Thanks to you," Mamoru said, finally looking at her, "You got him to talk"
Usagi looked away, "It wasn't much. I just did what I had to"
"Thank you for that," Mamoru almost choked out the words, wanting and needing to show his utter gratitude to her.
Usagi nodded, "You are welcome, Mamoru"
"I'm really sorry about what I did, I didn't mean for it to be this way…" the pain in his voice sent a pang through Usagi's heart, he sounded so sorry…
"What you heard…it doesn't make up for what I did- or justify it," he said, looking away from her, "And I don't want you to forgive me because of what you know"
She mused his words, knowing it was true. To do that would be to forgive him for something beyond his power. He had to make up for it. And he knew it.
"You don't even have to forgive me at all, you can just-"
Mamoru's words cut off as his phone rang loudly; giving Usagi an apologetic look he picked it up.
"Yeah?"
"We got a clue, someone called and said they saw him in Nevada" Kevin said to him
"Get the local police on it"
"They are, but nothing as of yet. Nick thinks that selling his shares of the hotels and casinos will ward him out of there"
"Good idea"
"We need you down here," Kevin said apologetically
"Okay, I'll be there" Mamoru said and hung up his phone.
Usagi's face was upturned towards the sky and her hair blew against her face and he could have sworn that he had never before seen someone as beautiful. Realizing the silence, Usagi looked back at him, "I should go"
"Yeah, I have to head out too" Mamoru said
In unison they both looked down at their intertwined hands, which both had almost forgotten about.
"Sorry" Mamoru said hurriedly as he let Usagi's hand go. She smiled, "It's no problem, Mamoru"
They stood up, Usagi a step on top of him, was perfectly level with him and they stood in silence as they looked at each other.
Usagi broke the silence, "I'm sorry, Mamoru, for everything"
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, staring up at her with what looked like wonder in his eyes, "I'm just thankful for you"
"Still," Usagi said, smiling slightly, she gave Mamoru a peck on his cheek, "I'll see you later, Mamoru"
Mamoru blushed and nodded hurriedly.
Usagi smiled one last time at him and walked away, closing the door quietly behind her. Mamoru raised his hand and touched the spot where she had kissed him wonderingly. He grinned as he turned and walked away, a spring in his step that had been missing for a long time.
Usagi watched him walk away from the window beside the door, a smile gracing her lips.
She walked up to her room in a daze, flopping onto the bed, a grin forming.
If she hadn't known better, she would have thought she was falling in love with Mamoru Chiba. But that was impossible- wasn't it?
He was an obsessed man. One who would destroy everything in his wake to get the one thing he wanted: revenge. And she was smack dab in the middle of it. He didn't care what it took for him to achieve his goal- and she was expendable.
Why did she have the feeling he was going to be the end of her?
