Joel, Crow, Tom Servo, Gypsy and Cambot were sitting together in the galley of the Satellite of Love. The robots were eagerly devouring the sandwiches and cans of soda provided to them by Joel, while he just watched in amazement as his creations behaved very much like young children. Crow and Tom were busy making weird noises at each other and making a huge mess on the counter, while Gypsy and Cambot tried to keep a safe distance away from their carnage.
Crow had an idea for a prank and smeared a glob of peanut butter across Tom's dome, laughing at himself the entire time.
"Joel!" Tom whined. "Did you see what Crow did?!"
Before Joel could intervene Crow blurted out, "He sure did, but did you?"
"Joel!"
"Alright, that's enough." Joel grabbed some napkins so he could clean off Tom's dome. "No more."
Before he could get over to Tom, Crow had taken the opportunity to use his claw and create a generic 'smiley' face in the peanut butter on Tom's dome.
"Crow!" Tom complained again. "Joel! Do something! Stop him!"
Joel grabbed ahold of Crow's net and pulled him away from Tom, Crow sputtered out 'Owie, owie, owie,' during the moment. "Crow, sit over there in the corner."
"Why?"
"You're in time-out."
"I don't know what that is, but I don't like it!"
"Good. You're not supposed to." He proceeded to clean the peanut butter from Tom's dome. "Stay there for five minutes or until I say it's okay for you to leave."
"And if I don't?" Crow challenged.
"I created you, remember? So that means I can destroy you, too!"
Crow quickly took his seat in the corner. "I'll be good."
With his dome now cleaned off Tom was much happier. "Thanks Joel." He looked over at Crow. "Dink!"
"Dickweed!"
"Hey, come on. Let's get along." Joel looked around the galley. "Man, you guys made a big mess!" Empty wrappers, piles of peanut butter, crumbs, soda spills and used napkins littered the counter and the floor. "How'd you do all this in just a few minutes."
"I don't know." Tom responded while looking around at the mess. "We're gifted?"
Gypsy proceeded to wipe off the counter with a wet rag. "Don't worry Joel, I'll clean it up."
"Are you sure?"
"Yup. I can deal with this."
"Thanks Gypsy. I owe you!" Joel looked down at his watch, 2:30pm. "Hm, it's barely passed noon. Now what do we do? It's not like I have a schedule to keep anymore."
Tom had an idea. "Why don't you show us that movie theater you mentioned earlier?"
"Yeah!" Crow agreed from his corner. "I want to see it!"
"Alright. Let's go." He motioned for Tom, Crow and Cambot to follow him out of the galley and back up to the bridge of the ship. From there they'd be able to enter the enigmatic movie theater through the main door. "It's through here." Joel stopped in front of the large purple door with the Gizmonic Institutes (in)famous 'G' shaped gear logo painted over the entryway.
"What's the 'G' stand for?" Crow easily observed the lime green insignia over the lavender purple door.
"It's the logo for Gizmonic Institute. That's where I used to work. You know, before my bosses shot me into space."
"Right... Why'd they do that again?"
"I don't know. I guess they didn't like me."
"Harsh."
"Yeah... So, do you guys want to go inside or not?"
"Yeah!" The robots showed unexpected enthusiasm about seeing the theater.
Joel took the first step into the multi-themed and numbered and corridor that lead into the theater. Tom and Crow were following at his heels with Cambot holding his head high and documenting the moment just behind Joel's shoulder.
The interior of the theater was very dark, a small dimly lit white light from the rear of the theater, near the projection booth, cast enough light for the entering patrons to see the single row of seats. The row was positioned rather close to the large projection screen, ensuring maximum visibility. It was quiet inside the theater but it was comfortable. An air vent / heating grate at the entrance to the theater kept it temperature controlled and well ventilated.
Joel picked out a seat and sat down. "I guess this is where the fate of the world is going to be decided. From this seat, in this theater." He ran his fingers through his hair. "That's pretty heavy stuff..."
"Uh, Joel?" Crow had taken a seat at Joel's immediate right. "Tom is, uh, never mind!"
Tom had been struggling to lift himself over the vent, his hover skirt couldn't maintain proper lift, but he managed to finally get across; although with some great and somewhat embarrassing difficulty. "Thanks for the help guys!"
"You're welcome!" Crow quipped coldly, not empathetic to Tom's problem in the least.
Joel didn't say anything, he was too busy contemplating his role in the impending experiment.
Tom hovered up and took the seat immediately to Joel's left and sat in silence.
Cambot, who had been recording the event, positioned himself at an appropriate enough distance to capture his friends' silhouettes in front of the screen and capture the entire projection screen in a single clear image.
The three unlikely friends stared at the blank projection screen in absolute silence for several minutes. No one saying a word, no one moving.
Unable to stand the silence anymore, Tom spoke up. "Joel?" He turned and saw a blank look of inner turmoil on his friend's face. "You alright?"
"What?" He quickly looked over at Tom. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just... thinking."
"About what?"
He sighed heavily. "Remember when I told you that Dr. Forrester is going to use me in his experiment?"
"Yeah?"
"The experiment that's supposed to help him take over the world?"
"Yeah?"
"The experiment that's supposed to help him take over the world by subjecting the world's populous to the worst film ever made?"
"Yeeeahhh?" Tom was growing impatient with the recap.
"Yeah? So that means if I break, if I'm actually driven insane by some awful movie then whole world is doomed!" He got really tense at the very thought. "I'd be a tool in the whole world domination scheme!" He face-palmed himself as the full weight of the situation finally hit him. "I have so much responsibility, I don't think I'll be able to handle it alone!"
"Relax Joel!" Crow interrupted Joel's near nervous breakdown.
"Yeah," Tom agreed with Crow's suggestion. "we won't let that happen!"
"How? What can you two do?"
Crow answered. "We can keep you from going insane by keeping you from losing your humor and uh... what's the other word I'm looking for? Help me out here Tom, keeping from losing his..."
"Lunch?"
"No."
"Marbles?"
"No, and that's an analogy for sanity anyway."
"Oh. Dignity?"
"No, I'm pretty sure he gave that up when he designed us."
"What about... hope?"
"Yeah! That's it!" He looked directly at Joel's face. "Joel, we won't let you lose hope!"
Joel laughed a little as he put his hands on his robots' shoulders. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it."
The trio sat in the dark theater for a moment longer, Cambot recording the calm moment for posterity.
"So, what do you guys think we should call this place?" Joel brought up an interesting question.
"What do you mean?" Tom didn't understand the question. "It's just a theater, what else do you call it?"
"I know, but I mean 'the theater' is just so boring. It needs something better, something more original." He finally relaxed a little in his seat. "Something that would be recognized by average people on the street and they would immediately think of this place without any confusion!"
"The 'space theater'?" Tom halfheartedly suggested.
"Oh, wait, the 'spooky theater'!" Crow offered, more passionately than Tom.
"What's so spooky about it?" Tom asked.
"It's in space, and in space no one can hear you scream!"
"Good one, Crow." Joel complimented the robot on his creativity. "What about the 'lost theater'?"
"As in 'Lost in Space'?"
"Exactly."
"I think that name's already taken." Tom remarked flatly. "How about the 'enigmatic theater'?"
"Too mysterious!" Crow commented.
"Wait," Joel liked the way that sounded. "'The Mystery Theater'?"
"Say, not bad!" Tom liked it too. "But it needs a little something more, but what?"
"Well, the whole reason we're even here is because of an experiment. So... 'The Mystery Experiment Theater?'"
Crow disliked that name. "Nah!"
"Yeah, I agree with Crow. What about 'test'?"
"No way!" Crow spoke up again. "What about 'exam'?"
"No, that sounds like high school! It needs to be simpler, needs to be known yet thought provoking, you know, like science class!"
"Hey, that's it!" Joel really liked that suggestion. "It's the 'Mystery Science Theater'!"
"3000!" Crow tagged on.
Tom didn't get the reference. "Where did that come from?"
"Everything that's mysterious or scientific has a number attached! Like: 'Hal 9000' or even just '2001: A Space Odyssey'!"
"Then it's settled." Joel had the final word on the discussion. "This is the 'Mystery Science Theater 3000'."
...to be continued...
