A/N: This is a VITAL CHAPTER. And I'm sorry I didn't get it out a few days ago like I thought I would, but this was about where I'd planned up to, so I was running out of ideas as to how to execute this, and what will come after. It might take a while for the next chapter, so SAVOR THIS ONE!! Also, I was looking back at when this was just an idea scribbled on a piece of notebook paper, and the way I'd planned everything out, this was supposed to happen in chapter 4, lol. But I dragged everything out and now it's chapter whatever this is. But no matter. Enjoy!
A/N (again): I hated the way this ended, so I decided to add a little more to this. Please enjoy the new version, and the next will be out tomorrow (I hope).
"I understand more than you know, Edward," she sniffled into his coat. "I don't know your pain, but I know some of it."
"Shh…" he soothed. He wanted her to stop crying, but he'd never been terribly good at comforting. He rubbed her back gently, forgetting his pain for a moment. "Let's go home. We can talk more there." She nodded and pulled away from him, beginning the walk back. It was short, and quiet. More than anything, they wanted to get into dry clothes.
The rain seemed to be tapering off as they approached the house, almost as if it represented the emotional buildup and release that had just happened. The two friends shrugged off jackets and outerwear in the doorway, leaving it on the coat rack to dry. Ed went to run a bath and came back for the tea Nell was making as they waited for the tub to fill.
"So what about you?" Edward asked. "I told you about my family, what about yours?" He gestured to the single picture he'd seen of her parents (or so he'd thought, he wasn't sure).
"Those are my parents," she confirmed. And they're dead."
"De-dead? I'm sorry… do you only have the one picture of them?"
"All the others were lost."
"I see…"
Nell handed him a mug of hot tea and he blew steam from the top of the cup before testing it, scorching his tongue. Nell picked up the little frame and looked at her parents sadly. "My father was a factory worker, and my mother stayed at home. She often mended clothes for a bit of spare change, and we were able to get by until I was nine."
Ed narrowed his eyes. Looking at the girl before him, there was something different from the one he'd just hugged, comforted, argued with. This one was almost hollow. She was in pain. A different pain. She ran her other hand lightly over the picture before replacing it on the table, picking up another, this time of an elderly woman. "They named me after my grandmother. My full name is Eleanor Lacey Quick. But Eleanor makes me sound so old.
"I never met my grandmother, but she was rumored to be an extraordinary woman, and I always looked up to her like I idolized my parents. But when I was nine, my parents decided to destroy that, and told me the truth. Something that made me hate her for a reason I couldn't understand." Nell put her grandmother's picture face down. "They told me she was a 'flawed'. At the time, I didn't know what that was, so they explained it to me, and told me it was bad. It was a curse. That I was to hate them, and that was all I knew."
"That's awful…"
"Yeah. My parents…I realized then that they weren't always the great people I saw them to be. My innocence was gone at a young age, when I realized that the God-like parents that I looked up to were liars. They were vain and always worried about what others thought. Some even thought they turned my grandmother in. I don't know how she died, and there was no funeral. No obituary for a 'flawed'. Not good enough."
Had she meant that 'flawed's weren't good enough or that the treatment wasn't?
Edward was listening intently, giving her the same respect she gave him. He could tell it pained her to remember such things, but when he was done talking about his family, something felt happy inside him. Like having another person know about it made him happy. He only hoped he could do the same for her.
"I became more distant from them, and I don't know if they noticed. They were wrapped up in their work a lot, and didn't always have time for me, not that I blame them. But then…"
The tea kettle whistled, and Nell hurried to calm it, turning down the fire underneath it. She didn't want any more tea, though, and just left it there, instead returning and sitting down again, pretending the interruption hadn't happened.
"Y'know," Ed said when she came back, "I envy you. Your parents were together all the time that you knew them, and even though you lost them, you knew they loved you, and each other. You have the opportunity to live life normally, and that's something I'll never have."
He wished he hadn't said those words, no matter how true they were. They were still hurtful, the way he said them sounding like he didn't want her around. He was jealous because she could stay here, out of trouble, out of harm, while he would be running for his life for the remainder of it.
She didn't want him to be in pain, but she couldn't tell him how she felt with words. It was too much to be said. She looked into his golden eyes, the ones filled with as much pain as hers, and knew that he just needed someone to be close to. That in itself was a wonderful thing, and it worked miracles. She herself hadn't known that for a long, long time, and knew that she didn't want it to go away so quickly.
"One week."
"I'm sorry?"
"We've known each other one week today. Yesterday, actually, since you came to talk to me before then... And look how close we've become already." She felt she could really trust him. For the first time in almost six years, she felt as though she could fully trust someone. "I trust you." The last bit she'd said mostly to herself, almost as though it were an afterthought. Edward didn't hear it, and instead tried to get back to her story.
"What happened to your parents?" She looked thoughtful before speaking, and when she opened her mouth, it was not an answer that came out.
"Edward, I need to show you something." She stood and grabbed his hand, leading him down the hall to a door he'd never been past. He guessed it was her room. But what did she have in there to show him? And had that been a hint of guilt in her voice? What was that about?
Nell opened the door and led him in. Releasing his hand, she kept walking, leaving him stranded in the center of the floor. She crossed the rest of the room and stood in front of her bed, pushed against the wall.
Ed looked around. The layout of the room was very much like his own, but her bed was a bit bigger, and the window was on a different wall. There were more pictures adorning the walls, some of which had burnt edges, or faded spots. Small nicks and tears could also be seen littering the images, sometimes cutting off part of a face, or the date etched into the bottom of the photo. He noticed that most had a resemblance to Nell, even though it might be slight. Her family, he thought to himself, his eyes searching for one of her. He found none.
"Six years ago, when I was nine, my parents had a fight." Ed's attention moved back to the girl in the room. She stood at the window, looking out. Her house was only one floor, so instead of a sky view of the street, she was looking into the muddy front yard and dead flowers situated there. "I don't remember what it was about. I got scared because my father was yelling, so I hid in my room. I cowered in the back of my closet until I suddenly heard breaking glass, and everything got quiet." She paused and for a moment, all Ed could hear was the sound of his own breath. "I assumed they went to bed angry, and so I crawled out of my hiding place and under my covers. I cried myself to sleep within minutes." She suddenly turned to face him again, taking a few steps toward him before stopping. An indecisive look graced her features and she reached for the hem of her dress, pulling it up slowly.
"Wh-what are you doing, Nell?" Ed stammered, his face going red. If she needed to change, she could have asked him to leave, or waited until after she'd showed him what she'd brought him for.
"Something I should have done right off the bat," she said through the cloth of the dress. She pulled on the thick shoulder straps, lifting it over her head. She let it slip from her fingers onto the floor, and there she stood, red-faced and clothed only in her underwear for him to see. He told himself not to look, and he kept his head turned away. "Edward, please," she said. Slowly, he turned to face her, and immediately, he gasped.
His jaw had dropped, and he was too shocked to do anything about it, so he just stood there, mouth wide-open, and stared like an idiot. He couldn't say anything, he couldn't look away, and he couldn't think full sentences.
It started a few inches under her left breast, and ended an inch or two above the middle of her left thigh, stretching across her hip and toward her navel. It wrapped around the left side of her waist, but didn't make it to her back. It was dark pink—almost brown—and textured, with darker splotches riddled throughout. The edges looked like spider webs in the way that they crawled across her fair skin.
A burn scar.
"I woke up in pain. My side hurt, and I opened my eyes to see my skin melting. Our house was on fire. My parents…I called to them for help, or maybe it was to see if they were alright, I don't know. It was probably the former. Your thoughts tend to revolve around yourself when you're on fire." She sat on her bed and her voice got quiet as she held back tears, forcing down the lump in her throat. "Firefighters got me out, and my parents died in their beds. They never woke up." She couldn't meet his eyes. She kept her eyes on the floor in front of her. "Remember how I said I knew some of your pain? This was…what I meant."
-- -- --
Ed's heart was beating faster and faster. Not because a girl had taken off her clothes in front of him—though that was the reason at first—but because now he knew. She showed him her secret, and everything he'd thought about her—that she was normal, that she was the first one to accept him for who he was without being flawed like him—were gone. It was quite a shock; one that caused him to press a hand to his mouth in surprise.
He'd thought she was normal. He'd been jealous of her life, but in reality, she was just like him, but she'd hidden it better, and now she was willingly showing someone. He wondered if she was stupid, he wondered if that meant she trusted him and he wondered why she hadn't put her clothes back on. All this he pondered in the space of half a second, and all this was interrupted.
"Please say something, Ed." Her voice was quiet, shy, but there was no regret in it. She seemed like she knew what she was doing, but after his extended silence, her knees started to shake.
What was there to say? "You lied"? "I didn't expect this"? "I don't care"? There were a million questions running through his mind, a million conclusions; a trillion thoughts. He wondered why she hadn't told him earlier, though she had no reason to, and he shouldn't have expected her to willingly reveal something like that. Perhaps it was a show of trust, since she'd stumbled across his secret when he wished she hadn't.
She took his silence as a bad thing and buried her face in her hands. She was crying again. For the second time in one night, Ed had made her cry.
He'd forgotten himself in that small stretch of time, and it took tears falling from her eyes for him to remember. With a start, he realized what happened. He took a few steps toward her. "Wh-why are you crying?!"
"Be-because!" She choked. "I was scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Scared you would be mad…or not like me anymore," she managed a few words between sobs and sniffles. "Scared that you…would…" she trailed off, not even sure how to finish that, but Edward got the gist.
He leaned his back against the wall behind him, placing a hand over his eyes tiredly and sighed. 'I'm not going to hate you…because your body's imperfect." Why had she expected any different? Nell looked up, surprised, the salty stains on her face standing out against her skin.
"You're not…mad? That I lied?"
"You didn't lie. This was yours to share, and you did what any normal person would have done and kept it a secret. It was your secret, and I'm not going to be mad that you didn't tell me sooner." He smiled weakly, tired, wet, and cold, waiting for the bath that he suspected might have started to overflow. His friend's eyes watered as her tears rained down her face anew, this time of happiness.
"Ed…ward!" She gasped and put her face in her hands again.
"Hey, hey, don't cry!" He said, waving his hands in a flustered manner. "It's a good thing! Why are you crying."
"I'm happy…" She wiped away a tear with her forefinger. "That's all."
Ed sighed again. "You're hopeless." She joined him in a laugh, and for a moment, all their problems with hiding were gone.
-- -- --
"Roy? Is that you?"
"Yeah, Mom."
"Oh, good. I thought it was your father," her voice soured on the word, as though it was a curse.
"Nope. Just me." Roy slid his shoes off noiselessly, his mind miles away. He didn't hear his mother's next words.
"Roy!" His head snapped up to see her in the hall in front of him as he was pulling off his coat. "Are you alright? You seem…distant."
"Yeah, I'm just tired, Mom. I had a long day." He smiled and she could see what she thought to be fatigue.
"Well, alright. I'll bring your dinner to your room." She bent down and kissed her son on the cheek before returning to the kitchen. Once she was gone, Roy hurried off to his room and shot the door. He leaned against it and slid to the floor, something he'd wanted to do since he saw it.
Automail.
Ed was a flawed…he couldn't believe it, though it explained things. He didn't want emotional attachments, so he didn't make friends. He wore gloves to hide the metal, and he didn't take gym class for the same reason.
But…why? Had he been born like that? Certainly not…the doctor would have euthanized him. It had to have been an accident later in life, but who would willingly help someone like that? Everyone in the country knew that since King Bradley became Fuhrer, he'd wanted to build a perfect empire. He'd started enforcing laws on appearance, and anyone who broke those laws, or helped someone else break them, would be punished by exile, or—worst case scenario—death. So who would risk their life to make Edward Elric able to use his arm again?
Maybe a family member? Or a friend? Hadn't Ed once said he'd had a little brother? Where was that brother now?
Roy didn't know how long he sat there, slumped against his door, but he was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on his door. "Roy, sweetie, I brought your dinner." When he didn't answer right away—still trying to stand—she called again. "Roy?"
The door swung open and his mother jumped back. "Thanks, Mom," the dark-haired boy said, taking the tray from her hands. He closed the door again and set the food on his desk, taking his place in the chair beside it and reclining, trying to find his last train of thought. Failing, he ran his fingers over his face and sighed.
"What now, Roy?"
The voice came from nowhere. He hadn't opened his mouth, and yet it was his voice echoing through the room. Startled, he whirled in his chair to face the mirror. His reflection stared back at him, onyx eyes cold.
"W-what?" 'Okay, okay…think. I must be going crazy. My reflection just talked to me.'
"Yes, I did. Now, are you going to answer me?" His reflection tapped one foot on the floor impatiently and crossed its arms over its chest.
"Um…what was the question?"
"Ugh. You're unbelievable. You get a little surprised and you totally fall apart. I said 'What now, Roy?'" He waited while Roy thought.
"I…I don't know. What should I do?"
"Don't ask me. I'm not going to make your decisions for you. You have to decide on your own."
"But I don't know what to do!"
"You have two main options. The first is to betray him to the Fuhrer. Tell an authority figure where he lives and have him hauled away. The second is to keep your mouth shut. Let him live, or run, whichever he's planning on. So, choose."
"It's not that easy!" He wailed. "I can't decide just like that! I've got my future and my mother to think of! If I keep it a secret, we could be in danger! If I keep my mouth shut, I'm jeopardizing everything I have!" The mirror-Roy snorted.
"You're pathetic. I mean, even your priorities are messed up. Your future and your mother? You say that like your mother is the less important of the two. Why not get those straight before you start whining."
"Of course my mother's more important! What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you can't make the choice if you don't even know who you are. Are you the selfish type, only looking out for yourself, or are you the type who'd give everything to help a friend?" Under the burning gaze of the mirror, Roy understood everything. He began to formulate a plan, but first…he had some things to say.
He leapt nimbly from his chair, all signs of fatigue gone. The only thing showing on his face was pure determination as he grabbed a jacket and sped to the door. As he was pulling on his shoes, his mother caught up.
"Where are you going now?"
"I have to see my friend, Mom. It's important."
"Your friend? Could it be that little blond boy? The one you wait at the bus stop with?" Roy blinked and looked up at his mothers kind face.
"How'd you…? Never mind, I'm in a hurry. I'm sorry Mom. I might be home late."
"Oh…alright, dear. Just come home—" he was out the door running down the street before she could finish her sentence "—safe…"
-- -- --
Roy wracked his brain, trying to remember the way to Nell's house from the bus stop. Before he'd actually gotten there, they'd led him in a huge circle, multiple times, so he wasn't sure if he could remember. He found the sign and continued down the street. He took a left and then a right, and he found himself passing a big apartment building.
He looked into the window on the first floor. The curtains were drawn back and it was empty inside. He vaguely remembered passing that last time, and hurried on down the street. He knew it wasn't far, but he couldn't remember which house it was.
"Guess that means I'll just have to look into windows," he thought.
He knew it was at least three houses down, so he started there, and saw nothing. Not a sign or a person, so the house was either recently vacated, or abandoned. Either way, it wasn't the one he was looking for. He tried the next one. Inside he saw a family sitting down to a late dinner. A mother, father, two children. It was a happy scene, but not the one he was looking for.
Then the next house. It was a one-floor house, like the others, and white on the outside. Probing his memory, he was almost sure this was the house. So Roy crept around the side of the house and peeked into the first window he saw.
His jaw dropped and everything he'd remembered teasing Edward about came rushing back to him. The first thing he thought was "so he is forcing her".
As he stared voyeuristically through Nell quick's bedroom window, he watched her pull off her dress for an audience of Edward Elric.
He gritted his teeth. On the one hand, this could be seen as a despicable act that he should put a stop to, but it was none of his business and he shouldn't be there in the first place. On the other, Ed was scoring more girls than him, and he was pissed. And on the impossible third hand, something deeper was going on here, but Mustang didn't think of that until he saw her drop the dress to the floor.
His jaw dropped, and his first instinct was to look away, but he couldn't. His eyes were glued onto the brown, leathery disfigurement crawling up the girl's side. She was one of them, too. Judging by Ed's face, he hadn't known it either.
Roy crouched, one hand clamped over his mouth after the horrific sight of melted skin. How? When? She'd seemed like a normal girl!
-- -- --
"Hello?" Roy's mother said, picking up the phone. "No, Roy's not here at the moment. He's visiting a friend. I can take a message if you'd like. Oh, a date? Well, that's different. I think he wrote down the address he was going to around here somewhere…"
A/N: I hope you liked the revised version better. More stuff happened, making way for more new stuff. -happy grin- Five reviews and you'll get the next chapter!
