Chapter 7

RPOV

I woke up the next morning at noon, exhausted, and alone. The apartment was empty, except for a note from Alice and Bella.

Rose,

Jasper called this morning and invited us to his gig at Club Soda tonight and Alice HAD to get new outfits for us. Be back soon.

Xox

Bella

I headed to the kitchen, pretty mad they didn't wait for me, and made breakfast for myself. I made a bowl fruit loops and sat myself down on the big comfy couch to watch some cartoons. You are never too old to watch cartoons.

When the bugs bunny and tweety show was over, I decided to take a shower and get ready for the day. Before I could even get my foot in, the phone rang. Thinking it would be Bella or Alice, I sprinted to the phone naked, crossing my fingers no one could see me.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rose, it's Emmett, can you buzz me in. I'm downstairs."

"Oh hey Emmett, yeah sure but-"

"Kay thanks!" He hung up.

I buzzed him in and started frantically looking for something to wear. Of course I wouldn't mind him seeing me naked and all, and in any other circumstances it would be great, but unfortunately he didn't know about my crazy fantasies I had about him and now would not be the time for him to find out.

Knock. knock.

SHIT.

"One sec!"

Finally running into Bella's room I grabbed her robe and swung it on me. I swung the door opened, trying to catch my breath.

"Um, hey." Emmett said eyeing my like a piece of meat. His eyes slid up and down my body and then I realised

I had grabbed Bella's robe. Bella's robe, the short black silk robe that barely covered my ass cheeks, great.

"Come in." I said trying to sound casual as if it were normal that I was wearing this skanky attire.

"So, um, is Bella in? I need to talk to her about that sex-trade thing you do with those deprived children. I have some great ideas for stuff we can do, real hands on."

"Mmk," I started ticking points off with my fingers. "One: WERE NOT IN THE SEX-TRADE. Two: Bella's not here, she and Alice went out shopping for Jaspers gig tonight." I said rolling my eyes.

"Oh. Well do you think I could hang around until she comes back? Will it be long?"

"I don't think so. But I was actually about to jump in the shower," and you could join me, "as you can see," I said sweeping my hand down my body to show my not-so-discrete robe.

"That's cool" he sounded disappointed, "I'll just watch T.V. No biggie."

"Okay then..."

After my long, hot shower I went to do my hair. And at the moment I thought. I have the most beautiful man in my living room, no one's home. I want him. And today is going to be the day I get him.

I curled my hair and teased it. I put on my black lace thong and the shortest black shorts I could find, with a small white wife beater that went just above my belly button. I looked like sex. I did a quick last check in the mirror, and walked out of my room.

Emmett sat on the couch; all I could see was the back of his head. And boy was that head hot. (Ha-ha! Head… Sexual innuendo…Right, well. Ali+Steff) I walked slowly and seductively next to him and sat so that our thighs were touching.

"What's up?" I said through my lashes.

He turned to face me, and I swear if we were in those cartoons he was watching his eyes would jump out of their sockets.

"Hey Rose... Did you, um, have a good shower?"

"It was great thanks. Do you mind if I change the channel?" He went to reach for the remote but I stopped him.

"No it's ok. I got it." I reached over him making sure my boobs pressed against his rock hard biceps, and I could swear he stopped breathing. He flinched when I pulled away and let out a long breath. It was working.

I started scanning the channels and I knew Pimp my Ride was on, on MTV.

Suddenly Emmett's hand was on my thigh smacking it. "NO WAY! You watch Pimp my Ride?!"

"Uh, duh, I love everything that has to do with mechanics. And this episode is a good one, I already saw it. They build his car for speed and mileage. They also add this huge space in the back... For various reasons. That's the car of my dreams, a multi-purpose vehicle."

Once again I could swear his eyes were going to pop out of his head and his jaw drop to the ground.

"That's so hot." was all he said. I smirked in satisfaction.

We watched in silence and laughed at the guy's final reaction. Not even a toddler on heroin could jump so high.

"I'm bored," I said in a nonchalant way. "You're a bartender, right?"

"Yeah…" he said sounding kind of confused.

"Well, see Alice went and bought a bunch of alcohol, would you like to make me a drink?"

He nodded and I jumped off the couch making sure I swayed my hips while I walked to the liquor cabinet.

He seemed really in his element while making me my drink and when he finished it he handed it to me with a huge smile on his face.

"It's a Cosmo."

"Do I look like a pussy? Can you make me something stronger?" I grabbed it anyways though and chugged it down in one gulp. It was amazing.

Emmett raised an eye brow in the sexiest way and started making me something different.

"You see the, Matini is not a drink for pussies." He said with a devilish smile.

I nodded my head wating for him to continue.

"Alays cool the glass. Nothing worse than a luk warm drink. It either has to be on fire or ice." He put my glass in the freezer and started making the drink. "When I make a martini I hate it when the inexperienced people make it with a shitload of everything and anything. Now, the vermouth can never be overdone it makes it taste like shit. So you pour in a bit into the shaker and shake it around with the ice and pour out the excess, enough for it to just graze the ice." I would sure like it for him to graze me with some alcohol… Jesus Rose! Get your mind out of the gutter!

"I don't really like olives I mean you can put them in but it sort of makes such a clean and crisp drink look dirty." He went into the fridge and peeled a lemon. "You'll see what these are for later, but next, what you want to do is…"He took out the bottles and opened them up. "The vodka and please don't be stingy I mean you don't want it all water from the ice." I stared at him in awe I mean he was so sure of what he wants and it was sexy how he knew all of the rules and just, wow. "Ok so the lemon peel is for the rim of the chilled glass." He took it out of the freezer and circled the rim of the glass a couple times with the peel. "I love a good martini; I always know what I want. I think the only thing I have trouble deciding on is what type of vodka I want to use. I hate all of those minty flavoured vodkas they're gross, unnecessary and ruin the whole un-pure purity of it." He said winking at me. I laughed at his reasoning. "You know I think they help my voice." He cleared his throat. "Mi, mi, mi, mi! La, la, la, la!" His voiced boomed and I threw my head back in hysterics. "So yup, here we go." He shook up the drink and poured it into the frosty glass and pushed it towards me. I looked at it and smelled it and the only thing I could see in the glass was the yellow sprig of lemon peel, the rest was clear and crisp and a work of art.

"Well try it I know you'll like it. I remember my first time in L.A.; I went to this bar called Rousseau Franks. That's when I first lost my martini virginity I've become a slut ever since." He said it in such a sexy voice I swear I came.

I tasted it and this wave of wonderful went through my body. Delicious, just like him.

"Mmmmmmh!" I moaned, my eyes were wide and I was staring at him in surprise. I downed it and I giggled. I smacked my hand down on the counter top pretending I was in a bar waiting to order. "Vodka martini, straight up, with a twist!" and a drop or three of innuendo. He laughed and made us another round. (By the way this was all taken from a YouTube video on Alan Cummings he is awesome I'll have the link on my profile. –Ali)

We drank quite a bit and somehow ended up on the couch again. We weren't drunk exactly, just a bit tipsy. And then it happened. We were laughing so hard about something, when our eyes met. We both went serious and just stared at each other. We leaned towards each other. Our lips met, it was a soft light kiss, but fireworks were exploding around us. I leaned back and stared and him for a quick second and leaned back in, his tongue gently moving along my lower lip asking for entrance. I gave it to him I let his tongue explore my mouth and then I went for his.

We moved so that I was on top of him. We stayed like that while. It could have been five minutes or even an hour but it was pure bliss. His hands explored my body moving up my thigh and along my waist. His palms slowly went up my ribs and grazed up the side of my breasts. I gasped in pleasure; he took his chance while my mouth was semi detached from his to tug on my bottom lip and pulled me back down on him.

My hands crept under his sweater and I realised there was a lot of fabric between us. So I gradually started taking off his sweater, and he ended up in his wife beater too. Bit by bit I started moving my hips and I could feel his arousal, long and hard on me. I didn't have to worry about my motto with this one. A low guttural moan erupted from the back of his throat into my mouth and my underwear got a little wetter from the sweet sound.

You got to Pimp my Ride.

Damn right.

You got to Pimp my Ride.

Fuck my phone. Fuck my life.

I jumped off Emmett extremely pissed.

"Someone better be dead!" I yelled in the phone as I picked it up.

"Nice to hear from you too!" Alice's chipper voice sang in the phone.

"What do you want?"

"Just hang up and get back here." Emmett yelled form behind me.

"Oh my baby Jesus! Rosalie Hale, there is a man in the apartment." Alice squealed in her high-pitched voice. It was a statement. I mean did she honestly think I was oblivious to it?

"WHAT THE EFF?" that was Bella.

"Alice, give me the phone right now." there was a pause, then a thud, then a yell, "Who the hell is in that apartment?!" Always count on Bella to act rational.

Suddenly I felt two warm hands wrap around my waist. Sigh.

"Come on babe, just hang up." He started planting feather light open mouthed kisses along my neck. Ugh he's going to make me throw him down and take him right here on the floor.

"Holy mother Theresa, is that Emmett?" Bella was freaking at this point. "Alice they're finally together. It's about time guys. Oh my gee, please no cock spots on the couch guys. Please we don't have money to buy a new one," I rolled my eyes.

"Okay guys, is there a specific reason you are calling?" I was getting pissed. Not even a good shower and my vibrater could get rid of this feeling.

Alice was now on the phone. "Ok guys no sex, I need you, Rose, to go under my bed and get the Bristol board from under there and make me a poster for Jasper's gig. We're running really late and I won't be able to do both when I get home. And please for the sake of our eyes, be clothed when we get there. Kthanksbye."

Great. No sex.

I reluctantly got the board and placed it on the floor next to Emmett. He surprisingly was quite okay with this situation.

"Oh Rose, it's ok, we'll have fun doing this instead." I rolled my eyes cause I knew what I'd have fun doing. And it had no dangers of paper cuts and pen stains on my clothes.

"Do you want to listen to some music while we draw?"

He smiled a toothy grin and I went to the stereo and flipped it on.

Last week I saw a film

As I recall it was a horror film

Holy fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I forgot my Lonely Islands CD was in there. Shit!

And I jizzed in my pants

PERFECT.

I started frantically hitting every button on the stereo. Punching and pushing and slapping and I was freaking out. Nothing was working. Then I heard.

I jizzed jizz-jizz-jizzed in my-my-my-my papa-pants

The CD was skipping. The volume started getting louder and the same four words kept replaying.

"Mother fucker!" I shrieked at the damn machine that should burn in the fiery pits of hell!

I took off my slipper and started hitting the stereo with it. Finally it shut up.

I looked at Emmett who had this very scary shock face on. He must think I'm insane.

I turned on my heels and gave him an embarrassed smile and just waved.

"So, um... What should we put on the poster?" Emmett asked.

I thought about it, and it hit me. I mischievous smile spread across my face.

"Oh, I know" I went to sit next to him on the floor and grabbed the Sharpie from his hand. This is for Alice disrupting my little session with Emmett. *Insert evil Cruella DeVil laugh!*

BPOV

After a very, very long shopping trip with Alice, we finally decided to head back home to get ready. As we walked down the corridor to get to our apartment, I kept my fingers crossed that Rosalie and Emmett weren't doing anything I wouldn't want to walk in on. So we reached our door, I banged on it with every fibre in my body.

"OK, WE ARE COMING IN. PLEASE BE DECENT. OH MY GOD PLEASE DONT BE WATCHING PORN." I knew I should have cancelled that channel. "THERE WILL BE NO MULTI SPECTATING OF PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL IN MY HOUSE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? THERE BETTER BE NO STAINS ON THE COUCH ROSE. I SWEAR-!" the door swung opened.

"Would you take a breather before you pop your cherry?"

"Ha-haaaa!" Emmett was laughing at me in the background.

"I already have!" I yelled in her face while I walked in and dropped all my bags in the kitchen.

Emmett suddenly jumped of the couch and was standing next to me.

"WHAT? WHEN? WITH WHO? IM GONNA KILL HIM? It was a him, right?" He was going insane.

"Yes Emmett it was a boy. Also it was with my boyfriend Mike. Plus it was consensual so you don't have to kill anyone. Jesus you are such a drama queen!"

"Okay, we really need to get ready for Jasper's gig; we don't want to be late. So if everyone can please shut up, go in their rooms and get ready that would just be fucking dandy!" Alice was yelling and her face was turning red.

Scared out of our minds Emmett went back to the couch, Rose, Alice, and I went to our rooms to get ready.

An hour later we were all sitting on the couch, ready to go.

"Hey Edward can you come and pick us up now, please?" Emmett had called Edward.

"So he's on his way." He stated looking pretty bored after having to wait for us.

"So Bella, have you spoken to Mike? Wasn't he sick? Is he feeling better?" Alice had this worried look on her face. As if she really cared.

"Um... no actually, do you think it would be okay if we stop off at his house so I can check up on him? Make sure he's not dead and all."

"That would be a great idea. If he's up for it he could totally come with us!" Rose seemed really excited to. As if she cared either.

The door bell rang and I suddenly got butterflies in my stomach. I was excited to see Edward. We all made our way down to his car.

Edward was looking hot! I mean like he was wearing a button down black shirt, with the first three buttons opened showing off a hint of his beautiful chest. Why did I have a boyfriend? Just why? He was wearing these dark wash jeans that hugged his tight behind that I could just sink my teeth into…

We pulled into the parking lot and I walked up the stairs to his condo.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Some rustling came from the other side of the door. Okay so someone is home. Seeing as the door was unlocked I let myself in.

"WHAT THE FUCK! Oh my god I'm so sorry, I must have the wrong room. I let you get back to your- whatever you were doing!"

Tyler? Tyler was on all fours naked. Okay. I totally just had the wrong room.

Mike's address is 177.

OH MY GOD THAT WAS ONE 177!

I reopened the door.

"TYLER CRAWLEY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MIKE'S-?" From the corner of my eye I saw someone come out of mike's bathroom.

"MIKE?" mike was wearing a red satin robe that barely covered his junk; he had a rose in his mouth and a whip in his hand.

HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS!

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD? MIKE? WHAT THE FUCK! ARE YOU FUCKING THIS BOY! ARE YOU FUCKING ME AFTER YOU FUCKED HIM?!?"

I am hallucinating. I am hallucinating!

I started taking deep breaths to relax, like they taught me in yoga class last year.

"Is this a joke?" I was so serious.

Mike stood there, I think kind of shocked, maybe confused. Of all people he should not be confused right now!

"Hey Bella..." he mumbled incoherently after a few moments.

"Hey Bella? HEY BELLA! I think I deserve a little more than a 'Hey Bella'"

"Bella I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out like this. Well, I actually didn't mean for you to find out at all. It's just that.... I'm in love. And it's not with you." He walked over to wear Tyler was, now standing, naked, on his feet, and wrapped one arm around his waist.

"So, let me get this straight right now. You were going out with me, telling me how much you loved me, making me think that we were this happy couple, AND IT NEVER OCCURED TO MENTION THAT YOU WERE SCREWING A MAN!"

"Bella I tried to tell you, really I did. But there was never a really good time." Was he actually pulling that line on me?

"Mike, there is never really a good time to tell your girlfriend that you're secretly gay. A simple phone call would've been ok 'Hey Bella, I think you should know that I'm actually gay!' or maybe something like 'So, I think you should know that I'M GAY!'"

"Well, Bella it's out now and I think we should end our relationship," he said in a matter-of-factly way.

"You think?! I'm pretty sure that was established when I walked in and saw this!" I waved my head towards Tyler had finally put a robe around him.

"Bella I think you should go. I was kind of busy when you walked in," he was acting like this was normal. In what universe is this normal? Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy!

"What the fuck!" I yelled, stomped out and slammed the door with all my might.

I walked back to the car, opened the back door and slammed it shut just like I had Mike's door.

"If I didn't know any better you would think it was Emmett who slammed that door," Rosalie laughed, and soon after so did the whole car.

"I'm glad my anger is funny to you people. Can we please just go?"

They all stopped laughing and Edward started the car. Rosalie put her hand on top of mine.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked in the sweetest tone. I'm glad I have such nice friends.

I just gave her a look saying to have fun tonight and I'll explain later. She smiled and nodded. Everyone must have seen the look because no one bothered me for the rest of the car ride.

When we arrived at Club Soda, we were bombarded with screaming teenage girls and those gangster boys who never heard of the word 'Belt'. The bouncer asked us who we were and checked his clip board for our names. When he got around to my name, he stopped and stared at me.

"Well hello Bella, my name is Josh." He smirked at me and winked.

You couldn't say he was ugly. He was tall and buff; I mean real buff like the bouncers you would see in movies, wearing a black tight t-shirt. But I don't think I could ever date someone who could break me in half with just playful smack on the butt.

"Hi Josh, could you see if I'm on the list please, thanks." I tried to sound nice, but honestly after what just happened don't think nice was in my tone of voice of the day.

"Oh, you're on the list. You know I might be the bouncer but if you'd like to bounce tonight... on me, I wouldn't mind handing you the job." He winked again.

I was so not in the mood for this.

Edward was suddenly on my side. He put his hand around my waist and pulled me to his side.

"Listen, Josh." Edward said his name with such disgust, "Bella is my girlfriend. Don't ever talk to her like that again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Oh sorry man, I didn't know. You've got good taste. Nice job."

He let us all in without another word and I was so relieved he hadn't tried hitting on either Rose or Alice. God knows Emmett would have shoved the douche's nose up his brain.

The inside of Club Soda was awesome. It had bright yellow, purple and blue lights moving around the room. At the back was the stage where you could see people setting up the drums and the microphone stands. There were no seats, so everyone was crowded in one big mosh pit.

I looked up and saw Edward standing next me. "Thank you. For before I mean." I blushed and looked down.

"It's my pleasure; really I couldn't stand to watch you get hit on with such a pitiful pick-up line." He chuckled and flashed me a beautiful crooked smile. I smiled back.

Alice, wanting a better view pushed herself along with us to about the middle of the crowd where Jasper could see directly to her.

The lights slowly dimmed and everyone started screaming.

"Quick Rose hand me the poster!" Alice was yelling over the screaming fans.

Rose handed it to her after sharing a mischievous smile with Emmett and Alice unrolled it in one quick motion. Jasper, along with Charlotte and Peter ran on to the stage and took their positions.

"Hey guys! Thanks for coming out to see us tonight! For our first song we're going to play 'You Don't Love Me' by 'The Kooks'! Take it away peter!" Jasper had a huge smile on his face and looked totally comfortable when he looked at Alice.

Peter and Jasper started together after Peter's count off. Right after Charlotte started singing the first verse. Everyone was singing along and Alice started waving her poster in the air like there was no tomorrow.

Jasper looked up, and saw Alice's poster. Jasper's eyes grew so wide, you'd think they were going to come right out of his head. His fingers slipped... And then again. SHIT!

Edward looked up and saw Alice's poster.

"You should have known better than to write that on a poster. I mean seriously he's nervous enough."

Alice turned the poster so she could read and screamed. "JAZZY FINGER ME LIKE YOU DO YOUR GUITAR!" was written on the poster.

Rose and Emmett started cracking up. Soon after so did we. Alice however was going to burst that vein that popped out in her forehead, sort of like Monica in F.R.I.E.N.D.S on The Thanksgiving special, episode 226, season 8. What? I'm a fan of the show jeez.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? ROSE, IM GOING TO KILL YOU!" and in one swift motion the poster was on the floor and Alice jumped on Rose like a squirrel attacking the last nut on the planet and Rose was on the floor. So here we were Jasper finally playing normal, but in the middle of thousands of people were Rose and Alice cat-fighting.