Their relationship wasn't exactly a secret, that would have been impossible. An entire room full of people had witnessed the screaming match and gossip spread quickly around the base. Everyone was dying for details and rumors ran wild. When Rey went to flight training, the other pilots pelted her with questions. How did it start? Was he the reason she quit jedi training? What did Master Luke think? What did General Organa think? How long had it been going on? Then, voice lowered to a giggly whisper, how was he in bed? Rey rolled her eyes at the interrogation, quickly changing the subject to something less…personal. It wasn't that she was ashamed of the relationship, it was just the opposite. What they had was so special that Rey didn't want to share. She'd had so little love in her life and now that she had it, she wanted to keep it all for herself. Kylo seemed to understand. Maybe he felt the same way.

Luke wasn't particularly pleased by their relationship but was far too kind to say anything. Leia was more concerned than angry. She even called Rey to her office one day for a talk.

"I just want to make sure you know what you are getting into," she'd said. "My son has a good heart but he's going through a hard time right now. He's not always easy to deal with."

"I understand that General," Rey had replied respectfully.

"I'm sorry Rey but I don't think you do," Leia said. "He hardly sleeps and when he does, he has terrible nightmares. Sometimes he just sits and stares at nothing for hours. He bursts in to tears and won't tell me why. Rey, he may seem better but he has a long way to go."

"I love your son," Rey had said. "I'm prepared to deal with whatever comes."

"I know you love him." Leia had looked sad. "I do too. I just don't know if that's enough."

"I know it is," Rey insisted. "And I have problems of my own. Kylo and I help each other."

She'd said goodbye to the General and gone to find Kylo in their old training spot. That was where they spent their evenings now, with Kylo training Rey in the ways of the force. It had been his idea.

"I can't," Rey said when he brought it up after sex one night. "Jedi aren't supposed to…do these sorts of things." She'd gestured to the bed, where they had been making love just moments before. "In case you forgot, that's why I quit."

Kylo laughed. "You wouldn't be training as a jedi. You'd just be learning the ways of the force."

"And the difference is?" Rey asked as she reached for her clothes.

"We'll use jedi techniques, just not their other teachings." He grew serious. "The force is a part of you, Rey. You should use it."

"I have missed it," Rey admitted. "I guess we could try."

An enormous grin spread across Kylo's face. "You won't regret this, Rey!" He pulled he into his arms and covered her face with kisses. "I promise, it won't interfere with your duties to the resistance. We'll train at night so you can work during the day."

They'd begun the next day. To Rey's surprise, it was even better than training with Master Luke. She found that training with Kylo was actually fun, something training with Luke had certainly never been. Now there was no pressure, no unrealistic teachings to adhere to. No restrictions. Rey had never felt so free, so alive. Had everything else gone so well, life would have been perfect. But of course, that wasn't the case.

Rey soon found that Leia had been right, Kylo was really struggling. Rey did her best to keep him distracted but she couldn't always be there. The days were particularly hard, she was busy with the other pilots and Leia had a resistance to command. Kylo wasn't trusted with a job yet and had nothing to occupy his time, allowing his mind to wander. He had no friends, how could he when everyone on base feared him? Rey began to notice dark circles under Kylo's eyes and he seemed to be losing weight. From what she could tell, he hardly slept. His moods were unpredictable, he was happy and smiling one moment, depressed and withdrawn the next. Sometimes she caught him crying. Rey feared that despite all her efforts, she was losing him.