Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
I hope everyone had a nice Easter. I got almost no writing done but did manage to finish this chapter.
Thank you for all your reviews and PMs (I'll try to write back to all of you, but I'm so busy right now, sorry) and as always a special thanks to my awesome beta Melanie who makes my gibberish readable, and keeps me in line when I throw a ridiculous amount of 'F-bombs' in Bella's language. ;)
To my 'Taken' readers: I've started on the next chapter and it will be up sometime this week.
This chapter continues where the last one ended.
Enjoy!
BPOV
We were so close to kissing each other. I was feeling both lightheaded and dizzy as Edward's lips almost touched mine. I had hoped that this would happen once he started feeling better, and I had been so nervous that he might try to keep a distance between us. But he seemed to want me close by and I was happy to give him what he wanted. I closed my eyes and waited for the kiss that I had craved ever since the morning I discovered that he had left me.
Kiss me, Edward. I want you. I want everything with you.
"What the hell is going on here?!" I heard an unwelcome, but familiar voice yell.
I barely had time to register that someone had interfered, before Edward had pulled me down on my back and jumped on top of me. His body covered mine completely and he let out a low growl. My heart jumped in my chest and my pulse thundered in my ears. I could feel every inch of Edward's firm body against mine and his sharp breaths against the side of my face. He was so close, pinning me to the mattress with all his strength, and I reached my hand up to his cheek. He flinched when I touched him, but I turned his face towards mine and our eyes met. His were wide and panicked but also determined.
'Sorry,' he mouthed and clenched his jaw.
Suddenly it all made sense; Edward was shielding my body from what he perceived to be a threat. He was protecting me the only way he could in his weakened state by forcing the intruder to go through him to get to me. The realization that he cared this much about me made my heart pound even harder in my chest and the butterflies in my stomach fluttered like crazy. Only seconds had passed since our impending kiss had been interrupted, and I stroked Edward's cheek to calm him down.
"Get off her!" Mike squealed from somewhere in the room, and I could hear him moving towards us.
Edward let out another low growl and pressed his body against mine more firmly.
"It's ok," I whispered in his ear. "Let me up."
His eyes met mine again and he raised his eyebrows. I nodded and gave him a small smile when I felt his tense muscles starting to relax and he slowly moved off me. I sat up and turned my head towards our intruder, who was none other than my ex-boyfriend Mike.
EX-boyfriend, Mike!
I looked at the man who I had spent the last three years with, and who had lived with me in this apartment the past six months. He looked the same as always; slightly over-weight, blonde hair, blue eyes, pasty complexion and wearing one of his ill-fitting business suits. I stared at him and found him to be lacking in every way. How could I ever have been attracted to this man when everything about him put me off now? Had I even really wanted him at one point or had I just felt flattered that someone of the opposite sex paid attention to me?
Definitely the latter. I never liked his hands on me and his company wasn't that great either. How the hell could I have wasted the last three years of my life being with him?
He was gaping at Edward and his face was a distorted mask of unbridled disgust.
"What the hell are you doing here, Mike?" I snarled at him.
I felt Edward flinch next to me, probably because he now understood who the man in my bedroom was.
"I came to see you," he said, but didn't take his eyes off Edward who was now leaning into my body next to me.
"Why?" I asked.
He was about to answer but I realized that I didn't even care about his reason.
"You know what? I don't even care why you're here," I said and moved off the bed.
I felt Edward take my hand, and I looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. He let go and I walked over to Mike.
"Hand it over," I ordered and held out my hand.
He gave me a blank look and blinked a couple of times.
"The key! Give me the goddamn key!"
"But," he started.
"Hand over my fucking key, Mike!" I growled in a tone that left zero room for discussion.
He reached into his pocket and put it in my outstretched hand. I turned and tossed it to Edward. He caught it and he looked shocked for a few seconds before his face lit up with a huge smile. Our eyes met and I gave him a wink before I turned to Mike again.
"Get out," I told him.
"But Pookie," he protested and pouted.
Ugh! I forgot about the pet name!
"Don't call me that," I said and scowled at him. "I hate that cutesy name. Now get out."
"But I want you back!" he said, as if that somehow changed everything.
"So?" I asked.
"I, uh, I thought you wanted that too," he said.
"Whatever gave you that impression? The fact that I didn't hesitate to kick you out, or the fact that I have another man in my bed?" I asked condescendingly.
"Him?!" Mike asked incredulously and pointed to Edward. "He looks like Magnum P.I!"
What a fucking imbecile! Magnum had a moustache for crying out loud, not a full beard.
I heard Edward chuckle softly behind me and when I turned to look at him, he was grinning widely.
'Moustache,' he mouthed, and I suppressed a laugh.
"What's your point?" I turned and asked Mike.
"You can't seriously tell me that you want that guy, when you could have me," Mike stated.
"And what's so great about you, Mike? Did you forget that you cheated on me?" I asked him and tapped my foot, impatient for him to leave.
"But that was nothing," he protested. "I, uh, I thought that you would come to your senses after a few weeks."
"And what? Take you back, just like that? You have got to be kidding me!"
This doesn't make any sense! What is going on here? Wait a second…
"Jessica kicked you out, didn't she?" I asked Mike and narrowed my eyes.
"No!" he said, emphatically, making his lie even less convincing.
I nodded and chuckled. This was fucking priceless.
"What did you do?" I asked him. "Couldn't keep it in your pants?"
Again!
"No," he said and looked down.
"Then what?"
"Jessica's…pregnant," he muttered. "And she's keeping it."
I felt as though I had just had a bucket of ice water thrown on me. My legs started shaking and I took a step back and sat down on the bed. Edward was at my side immediately and I felt his hand on my shoulder, giving me silent support.
She's pregnant! She's having his baby!
I had always wanted children, and I had wanted to have them early in life. My mom got pregnant with me at twenty-two, and I had always loved having young parents who could relate to me and who were energetic and vibrant. A year ago I thought that my dream had come true when I had gotten pregnant. It wasn't planned but I had been ecstatic none the less.
But Mike had been less enthusiastic. He hadn't told me that he wanted me to get rid of it, but he wasn't excited about it either. I had decided to keep the baby and raise it on my own if Mike didn't want to be a part of it, but we had never made it to that conversation. I still remembered waking up that Saturday morning and immediately noticing a wet sensation between my legs. There wasn't much more blood than when I had my period and I wasn't in any pain. I had been pregnant when I went to bed on Friday night, and the next morning I simply wasn't anymore.
The look of sheer relief on Mike's face when I had told him pretty much revealed how he felt about the whole thing. I probably should have ended it with him then and there, but we were still so young and I hoped that he would change his mind. Six months ago when Angela had moved out and he had suggested living together I had taken it as a good sign, that maybe he was ready for something more serious that hopefully included children in the future. But that hope obviously vanished when I walked in on him screwing Jessica from his office on the couch.
And now she's the one who's having a baby!
"Get out," I said, and I could hear how dead my voice sounded.
"Bella, I'm not ready to be a father, and I told her that. I want you, Pookie," he said.
"Get the fuck out of here, Mike!" I snarled at him.
"Just forget about that guy," he said and motioned to Edward. "We can start over."
I could feel the rage bubbling to the surface and all I wanted was to beat the living hell out of Mike. Instead, I started yelling at him:
"You are a piece of shit! I fucking hate you! You cheat on me, knock her up and then expect me to take you back? Get real, asshole! I wouldn't touch you now! You are a disgusting pig for screwing around behind my back, and a fucking coward for walking out on Jessica now that she's pregnant!"
"But, she kicked me out," Mike started to protest.
"Because you said you didn't want the baby, you idiot! I would have done the exact same thing if I hadn't lost it."
My voice cracked on the last word and my vision blurred with unshed tears. I felt Edward's arms around me and I leaned into his body.
"Get out Mike. I don't ever wanna see you again," I said and gave him a look filled with hate.
"You can't seriously tell me that you want that guy!" he protested and motioned to Edward again.
In a flash I was off the bed, and stood right in front of him.
"He is twice the man that you could ever be," I told him and pushed him back towards the hallway.
Mike was about to say something but I cut him off.
"And I'm not just talking about the size of his dick!"
Mike's eyes widened and I heard Edward chuckle behind me. I bent down and picked up his DVD and threw it at him.
"And take this piece of shit movie with you. Like everything else of yours, it's overrated and a waste of my time."
I watched as Mike retreated out of the apartment and I couldn't resist giving him the finger before I slammed the door in his face.
And stay the fuck out!
I walked back into the bedroom and all my feelings of righteous anger dissipated the second I saw Edward sitting on the bed looking at me with a small smile on his lips. I suddenly felt incredibly sad that I had spent the last three years with Mike when someone as wonderful as Edward existed. Why couldn't I have met him sooner? I was also upset about the news of Jessica's pregnancy. It wasn't that I wanted to have Mike's baby anymore, but it brought all the feelings about my miscarriage to the surface.
I sat down next to him and felt his hand on my cheek as he turned my head to look at him.
'Are you ok?' he asked silently.
His eyes were so tender and concerned that it made me want to cry.
"I think so. I'm really sorry that you had to see that."
He shook his head and brushed my hair back from my forehead. I suddenly remembered that Edward was still sick and felt his forehead. He was still a little warm, but it didn't seem to affect him.
"How are you feeling?" I asked.
He sighed and reached for his pad and pen. I watched as he wrote something for me and handed me the note.
'Bella, please forget about me for a minute and tell me how you are really feeling.'
His eyes pleaded with me and he stroked my cheek. I nodded.
"I feel like an idiot for having spent that last three years with him, and I feel angry because he disturbed us and tried to put you down," I said and let out a shaky breath.
He was still looking at me as if he knew that there was more.
"I-I feel…jealous because she's having a baby, when I didn't," I admitted weakly and looked down.
I leaned into Edward's body and felt his arms around me. He gave me a light squeeze and let out what I read as a frustrated sigh.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
He turned my head to look at him.
'I hate this,' he mouthed.
"What?"
'I can't talk, Bella.'
"I know," I said meekly.
He let out another sigh and reached for his pad and paper again. I watched with my heart in my throat as he wrote something. Finally he handed me the paper.
'Bella, you're so sweet and wonderful and it kills me that I can't even have a normal conversation with you. I can't ask you what happened with your pregnancy or if you need something. I want to be there for you but how can I, when I can't even tell you how sorry I am? I am so grateful for everything you've done for me, and I can't thank you properly like you deserve. It shouldn't have to be this complicated for you.'
What is he saying? That we can't be together? No, I have to convince him that we can make this work somehow!
"I don't care if you can't talk, Edward. It doesn't matter to me of you ever speak to me. I mean, of course it would matter if you could, and I'd love to talk with you. But what I'm trying to say is that it wouldn't change anything if you could. Well, obviously it would change some things, but…I'm not explaining this very well," I babbled.
He chuckled softly and stroked my cheek.
"I just, I just…like you," I said and looked down to hide my blush.
God, why does this feel like the seventh grade all over again? I'm twenty-five for crying out loud and we've slept together!
His eyes gazed into mine and gave me a sad smile.
'I like you too, but.'
"Please," I said and held up my hand to stop him. "Can't we just leave it at that for now? You still need to get better and I'd like you to stay here. I like having you here."
He hesitated for a few seconds before nodding. I let out a sigh of relief and relaxed when I felt his arms around me again.
"I'm really tired now," I whispered. "Do you mind if I go to bed?"
I felt him shake his head and release me. I went into the bathroom and got ready for bed while my mind was racing. Edward had agreed to stay here while he was on the mend, but what would happen once he got better? Would he leave again? Could I really watch him walk away when I now knew how he would spend his nights out there? Now that I had firsthand knowledge of the violence and danger he faced every day living on the street?
No! I can't let him do that! I have to convince him to stay somehow. At least I have a little time while he's still sick.
Edward was in bed again when I came in and he smiled when he saw me. Even with the bruises and the beard he was so beautiful, and I wanted nothing more than to run to him and throw myself into his arms. I walked over to the air mattress, but he cleared his throat to get my attention. He pulled back the covers and patted the spot next to him like before, but this time I hesitated.
It will only hurt you more if you sleep next to him and then he leaves again. You're better off keeping your distance to him to protect yourself from heartache.
I knew my rationalization to be absolutely true but I still couldn't stop myself from crawling into bed and lying down next to him. I needed to be near him and the understanding that his stay was probably only temporary made me think 'to hell with reason and logic'. Edward motioned for me to turn onto my side and the second I did, I felt his arm around me as he spooned me. This seemed to be his favorite way to sleep and I heard him sigh and then he pulled me a little closer. I closed my eyes and loved feeling him this close to me again. I had missed sleeping with him, and just then I decided that there was no way I would be spending my nights on the air mattress while he was here.
Being with him like this was reminiscent of the one night we had spent together, and I couldn't stop a terrifying thought from popping into my head:
What if he's gone in the morning? He's already a lot better.
"Edward?" I asked.
He laced our fingers and gave my hand a squeeze.
"Once for yes, twice for no?"
He gave my hand another squeeze.
Yes.
"Will you…will you still be here in the morning?"
Yes.
I felt myself relax again.
"Will you leave without telling me this time?" I asked quietly.
No.
Thank god!
"That's good. Then I won't have to roam the streets again like some stalker," I said before I realized how pathetic I had just made myself sound.
Edward pulled me even closer and buried his face in my neck. I gasped a little when I felt his lips against my skin, placing a soft kiss below my ear.
"I missed you," I whispered, before I could stop myself.
He sighed heavily and squeezed my hand tightly.
He missed me too, I think.
I shifted a little to get comfortable and suddenly I felt something hard pressed against my backside. Edward froze completely when he realized that I could feel his hard on. He held his breath and his hand in mine shook a little from the tension. I knew that he was much too weak to actually act on his arousal, but it filled me with happiness that he still wanted me that way. I stroked his hand with my thumb and I felt him relax. He kissed my neck again and let out a deep breath. He didn't pull away even though his erection was still pressed against me and I decided not to move away either.
"Goodnight Edward," I whispered.
His lips ghosted over the sensitive skin on my neck, and I shivered lightly as he said his silent goodnight.
* * *
I woke the next morning to the unfamiliar sensation of a warm body wrapped around mine. I was immediately happier than I had been in a long time.
He's still here!
My arm and leg was draped over Edward who was on his back with his arms around me. I raised my head from his chest and let out a small sound of surprise when I found him awake. He looked rumpled from sleep and gave me a beautiful smile when our eyes met.
''Morning.' He greeted me silently.
"Morning," I said, and felt myself blush for some reason.
Maybe it was because of our intimate embrace or the fact that he still looked gorgeous despite a long night's sleep. Whatever the reason, I suddenly felt self conscious because I probably looked like shit and was in desperate need of a breath mint.
Edward smiled even brighter and stroked my warm cheek with his hand.
'Beautiful,' he mouthed and traced my features with his fingertips.
I let out a short laugh and was mortified when I heard that the sound I had just made could only be defined as a full-on snort.
Why must I be such a retard?!
I quickly hid my face in Edward's chest as he laughed loudly. I could only assume that it was because of my idiotic way of ruining a beautiful moment. When his laughter had died down I peeked up at him again, and saw that he was looking at me with the same tender eyes that I had come to love.
'You're funny,' he said silently and stroked my cheek again.
"Involuntarily maybe," I said with a grimace.
'And very cute,' he added.
Oh! I can definitely live with that.
"Thank you," I said. "You are too. In fact, you look ridiculously good in the morning."
He smirked and ran his hand through his hair like he was in a shampoo commercial or something.
"Do you still want me to cut that haystack later today?" I asked with a grin.
He nodded and then pointed to his beard.
"You want me to do both?" I asked.
He nodded again and smiled. I glanced at the watch and groaned.
"I should get up. I have to go to work in a little while and Joe is coming over."
He wrapped his arms around me again and pulled me up so that my face was buried in his neck. He caressed my back with his fingertips and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the quiet intimacy with him. After a few minutes I reluctantly pulled away from his embrace.
"Do you need help getting to the bathroom?" I asked him.
He nodded and gave me an apologetic look.
"Don't worry, you've been really sick and it'll take a while before your body gets back to its old strength."
Thank heaven for that!
I helped him stand and he leaned on me as we walked to the bathroom. When he came back out, I was about to help him back in bed but he pointed to the kitchen.
"You wanna stay with me while I make breakfast?" I asked.
He nodded eagerly, and I smiled. Edward sat down at the table and I got him a blanket to keep him from getting cold. I made a quick trip to the bathroom myself and went back into the kitchen to make breakfast.
"What are you in the mood for?" I asked.
I had already gone grocery shopping while Edward was sick and the kitchen was fully stocked. He motioned that he needed something to write with. I fetched it from the nightstand and he quickly wrote me a note.
'First of all; you look beautiful this morning, and I love that you snort when you laugh. You are so cute and funny all the time, my sweet angel.
Second; I will love whatever you make. I haven't had a homemade breakfast in over a year, and I the fact that I get to eat with you makes this the best morning in a really long time.'
I gaped at the note for a few seconds and then looked at Edward, who was smiling from ear to ear.
Holy shit, he could charm the pants off anybody. Hopefully he'll do it to me and really soon!
"Pancakes?" I squeaked out and cleared my throat.
Edward gave me a thumbs up along with a huge grin, and I quickly started making the batter. I could feel his eyes on me while I cooked, and I turned on the radio because he had smiled when I did that before.
"How are you feeling today?" I asked him as I set the table.
He shrugged. I put my hand on his forehead and he was still a little warm. I went into the bedroom and got his antibiotics and some of the lozenges for his throat. I placed them in front of him and was about to turn, when he suddenly pulled me into his lap and put his arms around my waist. Being that close to him all of a sudden made my stomach flip and sent tingles up and down my spine.
'How are you?' he mouthed and gave me a concerned look.
I'm great if you'll let me sit here and eat my breakfast.
"I'm ok…I, uh, I'm really happy that you're here," I said, and was suddenly immensely fascinated with my cuticles.
I felt one of his hands under my chin and I looked at him again.
'I'm happy too,' he told me without words and reached up to cup my cheek in his hand. 'My angel.'
Angel? He's the one with the angelic face. Even the scruff and bruises can't hide it.
I ran my hands through his messy hair and he closed his eyes. His arms encircled me again and he held me tightly. I stroked his hair and loved feeling the soft strands between my fingers. Edward loosened his hold on me and started running his hands up and down my back. I shivered when he traced the contours of my spine with his fingertips, and I was suddenly hyperaware of the fact that I wasn't wearing a bra. I looked at Edward and his eyes were fixed on my chest where I was sure that he could see my nipples through my shirt.
"Did you do that on purpose?" I asked him.
He tore his eyes away from my chest and met my gaze.
'No?' he asked and quirked an eyebrow at me.
Oh yeah, definitely on purpose.
"Mmm hmm, just as I thought," I said with a grin. "I think I should go put on a hoodie or something before Joe shows up."
He seemed to be a little embarrassed, but not enough to prevent him from stealing another glance at my chest. He looked up at me again and his lips curved up into a huge grin, probably because I was trying to give him the stink eye, rather unsuccessfully. The truth was that I loved having him look at me that way. I wanted him badly and if he hadn't been recuperating, I probably would have jumped him right now.
'Sorry,' his silent lips said.
'I love staring at your tits,' his eyes said.
I'm gonna go ahead and believe his roaming eyes on this one!
"Yeah, I can feel how sorry you are," I said and shifted on his lap so that I rubbed against his erection.
He hissed and pulled me closer. He brushed his nose over my collarbone and trailed soft kisses up my neck. His hands were rubbing up and down my back again and I gripped his hair in my hands which made him moan softly.
Shit, we can't do this now. I have work and Joe will probably be outside the door within minutes.
"Edward," I whispered, as he nipped at my earlobe and his hands moved around me and his thumbs brushed the sides of my breasts.
He looked up at me and his eyes were hooded with lust.
"I…I…"
I'm in love with you and I want you.
"I…should finish making the breakfast now," I whispered, because I honestly didn't think I could control my voice.
He nodded and removed his hands and quickly I got off him and started making the pancakes. My heart was pounding in my chest and my body was begging for attention. I could hear Edward still breathing heavily behind me as he tried to calm himself down. You could practically cut the sexual tension with a knife, and I was thankful when the buzzer for the door went off.
Edward seemed more relaxed and gave me a smile as I brushed past him to let Joe in.
"Hey kids," he said and gave Edward a pat on the shoulder. "You look much better today."
Edward nodded and smiled.
"Joe, would you mind making the pancakes? I have to get ready for work."
"No problem. I used to be a great cook," he said.
I took a quick shower, dried my hair, did my makeup and got dressed. I walked into the kitchen and stopped abruptly when Edward made a choking sound. His eyes were wide as he stared at me, and his fork was paused midair between his mouth and the plate.
Oh crap, did I spill something?
I looked down but couldn't find anything wrong with my outfit.
"What?" I asked Edward who was still gawking at me.
"Heh, I think that was Edward's way of saying that you look very nice today, Bella," Joe said with a smirk.
Oh!
"Um, thank you. They're just my work clothes," I mumbled and turned to get some coffee.
Of course, I hadn't thought about the fact that Edward had only seen me in jeans and cotton shirts so far. At work I almost always wore a skirt, pumps, and nice blouses or shirts. I didn't wear makeup at home but I usually put a little on for work to make myself look more mature and closer to my actual age. I heard Joe snicker behind me, and knew that he was probably teasing Edward for ogling me. I smiled to myself and poured some coffee that Joe had made. When I turned around Edward quickly lowered his eyes to his plate and I blushed a little when I realized that he had been looking at me again. I sat down next to him and tried to have a conversation with Joe, but it was impossible when Edward was sitting so close to me. The fact that he put his hand on my knee under the table only made it more difficult. I could feel the pull between us and I was dying to touch him. I had never experienced attraction like this before. Even the crushes I had in high school when my hormones were all over place couldn't rival this overpowering feeling.
"I should get going," I said and grabbed Edward's hand under the table.
"Don't worry," Joe said. "I'll take care of our boy here."
I nodded and caressed Edward's hand. He leaned into my body for a second and sighed.
"Joe, do you wanna come by the library later?" I asked him. "You can pick out some books and I'll check them out for you."
"Oh, I'd like that, but I probably shouldn't," he said and motioned to himself.
"It doesn't bother me, but you can use the shower if you want, and there are plenty of clean clothes here that I bought for Edward. You two are almost the same size except Edward is a little taller."
I could see him considering.
"Thank you, Bella. That would be great," he finally said.
Edward was smiling brightly and leaned in to kiss my cheek.
"I guess I'll see you later then," I said and scrambled to my feet. "Any suggestions for dinner? And don't argue with me, Joe. You're staying."
They both grinned.
"Alright, I'll stay for dinner," Joe said. "But I'm cooking then."
"Perfect," I said with a smile. "There should be plenty to choose from in the freezer, but otherwise just let me know when you come by later."
I put on my coat and boots, threw my pumps in my bag and stuck my head in the kitchen to say goodbye.
"I'll see you later," I said.
Edward held out a note for me and I walked over to him and read it.
'Thank you for a wonderful breakfast and have a nice day at work, my angel.
P.S: You look really hot in your work clothes.'
I looked into his tender eyes and he took my hand and gave it a soft kiss. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered again and I smiled at him. He returned it with so much force that my knees went a little weak, and I almost stumbled on my way out of the kitchen.
As I walked to work I found myself wearing a goofy smile on my face. I couldn't wait to come home with afternoon and see Edward again. I knew he thought that his stay wasn't permanent, but I would do my best to convince him that he should stay with me.
You're here now Edward, and I'm not letting you go without a fight.
So, is Edward a jerk for touching Bella even though he intends to leave when he's better?
How can Bella make him stay with her?
Thoughts and ideas are always appreciated. ;)
Leave me a review if you think that Mike's dick should fall off. :) (Ok, I can't actually make that happen, but it would be pretty cool if I could.)
