WHAT KEEPS US TOGETHER?

Chapter Eight

Bobby sat in Dr. Silver's waiting room waiting for his 3:00 o'clock appointment. Alex had him perplexed when she left earlier that morning and Bobby had spent a good portion of the day thinking about what she'd said, still not convinced that the doctor deserved any 'thanks.' He began feeling apprehensive about how today's session would go.

The door to the doctor's office swung open and a woman exited, still sobbing and dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

"Hmm, looks like her appointment didn't go too well," Bobby thought to himself, as Dr. Silver appeared in the doorway.

"Robert, come right in," the doctor said with a guarded smile.

Bobby walked through the doorway and took his usual seat, as Dr. Silver settled in behind his desk.

"So, Robert," he began, "Before we get started on the agenda we had planned for today -- that would be, discussing your revisited thoughts on strengths and weaknesses in male/female roles and, umm, your Couples' Encounter session of last night, let me ask you, how is your friend, Alex?"

Bobby licked his lips and nodded his head slightly, "She's all right…she, umm, she slept well…an…and she felt a lot better this morning."

"That's good," the doctor nodded. "My wife was concerned."

Dr. Silver opened Bobby's file and reviewed his notes for a moment. "Confession is good for the soul, don't you think, Robert?"

"Well, in my line of work, 'confessions' usually lead to time in prison," Bobby said.

The doctor smiled, "Well, your work aside, in my line, confession usually brings freedom – relief from emotional burdens; an opportunity to start anew, with a clean slate."

"I agree," Bobby stated in concurrence, although he didn't really know where the doctor was going with his line of questioning.

The doctor laid his glasses on his desk and leaned back in this chair. "You weren't in your room when I stopped by this morning to check in on you. I'm going to overlook your infraction of the rules, Robert, since it was my wife and I who thrust you two together. I was fairly certain about what the outcome would be."

Bobby felt a twinge of self-consciousness and hoped his cheeks weren't blushing. "Um, Al—Alex said I should tell you 'thank you' …from her."

The doctor smiled. "And how do you feel, Robert? You were quite upset last evening."

"I'm –I'm sorry about that, I --- but you two did orchestrate the whole thing and manipulate us," Bobby said.

The doctor merely smiled and asked, "So, how did you like the Couples' Encounter? Did you learn anything about each other?"

"Yes," Bobby nodded. "I figured out what you wanted me to –about our roles, ya' know…with each other."

"What was the most enlightening thing she told you during the session?" The doctor asked, readying his pen to write in Bobby's file.

Bobby thought back to the prior evening. "Umm, she umm, she said that she liked it when I showed her my vulnerable side."

"And that's when you began to figure it out?" Dr. Silver smiled.

Bobby nodded. "At first, I accused her of liking to see me weak --- but then I remembered, you said I had it all backwards and, and it started to make sense."

"Okay, we'll get back to that some other time," Dr. Silver said. "Right now, I want to ask you, do you think Alex needs professional counseling?"

"Alex?" Bobby exclaimed. "For what?

Dr. Silver looked at Bobby seriously. "There's no delicate way to phrase this, Robert. Was she recently the victim of a sexual assault?"

Bobby couldn't hide his look of surprise. "How the hell…?" he asked himself.

The doctor read Bobby's face easily. He knew his guess was on target. "When did it happen?"

"Umm," Bobby rubbed his hand through his hair. "About four and half…five months ago…. How did you…?"

"We've spent hours, Robert, talking about you and your relationship with your partner. Everything you had told me about her – the way you described her everyday personality – contradicted her actions of fleeing from you that night –and even more importantly, for her avoidance of you for the following three months."

Bobby nodded. He understood what the doctor was saying. Bobby had, himself, 'diagnosed' Alex's transference.

"So when you…got aggressive with her that night…it triggered the memory."

"Yes," Bobby nodded. "She said her attacker was big and strong…and smelled like liquor. But he didn't….ya' know…she kicked him and got away."

"Thank God for that," Dr. Silver said. "So, back to the other topic. Now you understand why she didn't like the display of physical strength and aggressiveness from you – she sees that as weakness – a man who can't control himself."

Bobby nodded.

Dr. Silver chuckled. "Obviously, we both now know that she really has no objection to kissing you."

Bobby smiled, sheepishly.

"For her," Dr. Silver continued, "Strength is what it takes for a person to admit he has a problem and reach out for help….and, once you told her the magic words that every woman needs to hear from the man she loves…well, that was all she needed."

Bobby looked at the doctor. He wasn't following again.

"When you called her that Monday night and asked for her help. You said, "I need you," didn't you?"

"I think so, yes," Bobby murmured.

"Every woman needs to feel needed by her partner," the doctor said with a little smile. "I think she already knew you needed her on a professional level –as partners at work, but she was longing to hear it on a personal level."

"She knows I need her," Bobby agreed.

"When she came to you that night, what was her demeanor?" Dr. Silver asked, still making notes.

Bobby thought back for a moment; the corners of his mouth turned up in a little smile. He was remembering the way she had held him close to her heart, soothing him with her tender, reassuring words, petting his hair and placing gentle kisses on his head…washing his face with the cool cloth. "She was…amazing… comforting, loving, tender…"

"Mothering?" Silver asked.

"Um…I don't…" Bobby started, shrugging his shoulders.

"Do you think she likes mothering you because she knows about your past? All the mothering you missed out on because of your own mother's illness…she feels sorry for you and wants to make it up to you?"

"I never thought of that," Bobby said with a slight scowl, "And I don't want Alex or anyone feeling sorry for me."

"Or, do you think she likes mothering because she needs to mother…she has those natural instincts and they're unfulfilled?"

Bobby considered the doctor's questions. If he were going to be totally honest with himself, he'd have to admit that both were valid explanations.

"I suppose there's truth to both," Bobby grudgingly answered.

"Does Alex have any children? …From a prior marriage, or out of wedlock?"

"I don't want to talk about Alex anymore," Bobby flatly answered.

"Okay," the doctor backed off. "For right now, we don't have to. I just want to make sure you realize, Robert, that since Alex is such a big part of your life – I mean, obviously, you're in love with each other and are planning to have a future together, right?"

Bobby nodded.

"Anything that affects her life…her emotions, is gonna' affect you, too."

Bobby nodded again.

"Well, the more issues we address and try to take care of while you're here, the better off you'll be once you're back home," Dr. Silver said, eyebrows raised, silently asking for Bobby's consent to continue.

Bobby fidgeted in the chair and rubbed his left hand over his lips and the whiskers on his chin. "Look," he began, "I'm not at liberty to divulge Alex's private affairs or feelings. It would hurt her if she knew I discussed…things about her. If she wants to talk about them, that's up to her, but I can't…I woo—won't."

"Fair enough," Dr. Silver said. He handed Bobby the phone.

Bobby looked at the doctor, "What, you want me to call her?"

"She'll be back to visit this weekend, won't she? We'll schedule a session then. Dial."

Bobby sighed…and dialed.

"Hi, it's me."

"Hi you," she said. "What's up? …and you'd better not tell me you're in trouble again…did you yell at that doctor?"

Bobby smiled, "No, I didn't yell at the doctor," he answered, his eyes meeting Silver's.

"So, you're okay?

"Yeah, I'm okay. Umm, listen, Alex…I'm here with the doctor and he wants to know if you're coming this weekend…would you sit in on a session with us?"

"I told you I was comin' on Saturday. If he thinks it would help you, then of course."

"Umm, Alex…the session is kinda' for both of us…not just me." He listened to the silence on the line as she rethought her answer.

"Did you tell the doctor anything about me, Bobby?"

"No," he answered, then lowered his voice, "Well, just that you were amazing…and loving…and tender."

He heard her soft chuckle and could imagine her smile.

"This is one-on-one, right? He's not gonna' throw me in the middle of room again so I can humiliate myself?" she laughed.

"No, nothing like that again…one-on-one," Bobby assured.

"Okay," Alex agreed, "What time?"

Bobby asked Dr. Silver, "What time should she be here?"

"Earlier the better," the doctor answered.

"I heard…I'll be there at nine."

"Nine o'clock," Bobby repeated and looked to the doctor for his 'okay.'

"Thanks, Alex."

"You're welcome…and thanks for last night, too," she said slyly.

"You're welcome," it was Bobby turn.

"And thanks for this morning…nicest shower I've had in a while," she playfully cooed, purposely teasing him, knowing he was in Dr. Silver's presence.

"You're welcome," Bobby tried to answer matter-of-factly.

"I love you," she said, testing him to see if he'd answer in kind.

"I love you, too," Bobby said proudly. "See ya' Saturday."

Dr. Silver was smiling at Bobby, as he hung up the phone. "Very good," he said, as he jotted the appointment in his book.

"Well, that's if for today, Robert," the doctor smiled.

"Umm," Bobby hesitated, "I jus—I just wanted to apologize for the way I yelled at you last night," he said softly, hanging his head down a bit.

"It's quite all right, Robert. I deal with a lot of upset people…it's part of the job."

Bobby nodded, "Well, I appreciate your understanding." He paused for a few seconds, then added, "Alex said you've been good to me…good for me…she said she can see a change."

Dr. Silver smiled at Bobby.

"I wasn't really sure what she meant by it…but it didn't matter, as long as it pleased her. Do you see a change, Doctor?" Bobby asked, hopefully.

"That's not important, Robert," the doctor chuckled. "The important question is: do you?"

Bobby let out a sigh of frustration. He was the one who was used to turning things around on people.

"Why don't you think about it, Robert, and we'll see what you come up with….say, tomorrow at two?"

Bobby nodded, "Two o'clock," he agreed and headed for the door.

"Robert!" Dr. Silver called, once again delaying his exit.

Bobby turned and looked at Silver.

"I hope it was everything you dreamed it would be," the doctor said.

Bobby was certain his cheeks were blushing. He didn't answer – he just gave the doctor a small nod and smile. He couldn't get out of there soon enough.

END Chapter Eight