Disclaimer:
I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.
Author's Note: Yeah so this isn't my best work like AT ALL. So if you're disappointed, I'm sorry. I've just been busy with homework, and cleaning my house etc. Good news is that after this week I'm on break, you probably are too! So more time for the few of you reading this to read it, and more time for me to finish. I don't really know yet what's going to happen in the story after this chapter, but something will. I'm going to have my friend Jess read it over and help me out, and she'll tell me if my ideas are stupid. Hopefully the next chapter will be up by Tuesday morning. Please review! Thanks sooo muchh
Chapter Eight
BPOV
I was going to Edward's house after school. I was going to his house. Last time I went there, it had just been to talk to him. But now, it was to see his family again.
The family that I had always envisioned as becoming a part of. I would see them as friends; I would be the family friend. It was my decision to become so, but I felt I had no choice.
I wanted to just get back with Edward, to have no worries, to just jump back in where we left off. But I knew we couldn't do that.
I was experiencing so many feelings right now, I was sometimes contradicting myself. I loved him, and I felt as if he loved me back. I knew he wanted me, but I wasn't sue I could trust him.
A small part of me wanted him to suffer too, but then the rest of me went into shock at the thought of him in that much pain especially caused by me.
Was this how he felt when I told him all that had happened to me when he left? Would I be able to recover from that? Would I be able to take him back?
Would he still love me, I had changed a lot since we were last together, and maybe he wouldn't like it. Maybe he only loved me as a human.
I knew he wanted me in some ways, I could tell by the way he kissed me, but was that just like lust? Did he just do that in the heat of the moment?
If what he told me was true, he hadn't moved on. These thoughts, and ones similar passed through my mind, all the way through my classes and then Advisory.
I was alone in Advisory; Jonathan had left early today, a dentist appointment. I jumped when Edward approached me on my way out.
"Edward!" I gasped, my hand going over my silent heart.
"So, same as before? You come to my place on your motorcycle?" he asked.
"Yup. Are they all going to be home?"
"Of course. None of them has really talked to you since we've been here."
I was relieved. Alice didn't tell him of our conversation.
"Okay. So I'll see you in a few?"
"Yeah. See you." he stood in front of me for a minute. His hand moved, but I could see he fought it back. This was not the proper way to say goodbye.
I wanted to do more, a handshake at least. But then I decided against it. Touching him wouldn't help with the whole friends thing.
I could control what I said to him up to a point, but if I let my body be near him, things would end just like last time.
Not that I didn't like last time, it was just that it wasn't helping with the whole thinking things over thing. I turned my heel and headed for my motorcycle.
EPOV
I paced back and forth in my living room.
"Where is Bella?" I asked no one in particular.
"Relax, we just got here Edward!" Alice said, "And I saw her coming, no worries."
"I'm not worried!" I shouted.
"You do seem a little anxious." Esme said.
The truth was that I was anxious. Today, I had almost touched Bella. There was nothing wrong with that, if we were still together. I had to remember that we friends now.
To keep that up, I couldn't act the same way around her. I was afraid that if I didn't do as she said, she wouldn't take me back. I was also anxious because she was here to see my family again.
It was yet another reminder of all those years ago. And my family was also a reminder of how we left.
I hoped that Bella would be happy to see them, and that she would talk to me while she was here.
"She should be here any second." Alice said, a smile spreading across her face.
And she was right, as usual. About 34 seconds later there was a light tapping on our door. I went to get it.
"Hi." Bella said, nervous for some odd reason.
"Hi." I said, just as nervous.
"Bella's here!" Alice yelled. "Edward don't keep her all to yourself, bring her in!"
"Alice is very excited to see you—we all are." I said.
"Cool." Bella said.
"Bella!" Alice said when she saw her.
"Alice!" Bella said, walking over to Alice to give her a hug. Then everyone else greeted Bella. I could see that Jasper kept his eyes down when he greeted her.
I was envious. The way she just went straight to Alice, no doubt in her mind. The trust between them. How did Alice regain Bella's trust?
"So, it's been a while." Alice said.
"Yes, it has. Too long, don't you think?"
"Yes, too long. We have a lot of catching up to do."
"How have you been?"
"I've been okay, I guess. Things are brightening up, now that you're here."
"Thanks, I guess."
"So how have you been?"
"I've been better. I like being in Forks again though."
"I love it here. I even like going to Forks High."
"High school is nice, surprisingly."
"Yeah, sooo I heard you're going to the dance."
"Yes, shocking isn't it?
"Do you have a dress?"
"No. Well I might, I don't really know."
"You don't know? That's unacceptable. We're going shopping!"
"Sure. But you have to promise me you won't go overboard. I don't have that much money."
"Silly, Bella. I would never let you pay!"
"Okay then. So are you going to the dance?"
"Of course. Jasper is taking me."
"And Mia's after party?"
"We wouldn't miss it." Alice began to smile again.
What was going to happen at this party? I was considering skipping out on it, but I knew now that my curiosity would force me to attend.
For the rest of the evening everyone in my family had time to talk to Bella. They all laughed and joked. Sometimes I said a few things, but I was pretty much quiet.
Even Jasper was quite talkative. He was nervous before because he was embarrassed because of his behavior back at Bella's birthday, all those years ago.
We sat there in the living room, all the way through the night. Bella and my family.
"Time for school!" Esme announced.
"Oh right! I completely forgot." Bella said.
"It's the last day of school we can attend this week. They're predicting sun all the way through Saturday." Emmett said.
"Really? I haven't been keeping up with the weather." Bella said.
I was sad because I knew that the next few days we were going to go out to go hunting, and I wouldn't see Bella.
"Yeah, we're going to California to go hunting." Emmett continued.
"You should come with us!" Alice said, excitedly.
"Uh I don't know." Bella said. I saw her look at me, almost like she feared I would object. I thought we had been past this.
I wanted her around me, I was doing everything to get her to trust me again, and there she was second-guessing everything I told her, again.
"You should come, Bella." I said, lifting my eyes to meet hers.
"Well, I guess I could come." she said.
I smiled at the thought of more time with her. More time to regain her trust.
"You all have to get dressed for school!" Esme said, "You can't wear your clothes from yesterday."
"Oh crap, I got to go home and change." Bella said.
"Nonsense. You'd be late for school. You can wear sometime of mine, or Rosalie's." Alice said.
"Come on Bella." Rosalie said, her and Alice leading Bella upstairs.
"Bro, come on. We got to get ready to go." Emmett said, trying to get my attention.
"Right." and I headed upstairs to my room. I heard Alice, Rosalie and Bella talking.
"You have to wear it." Alice said.
"There is no way I'm wearing that. Seriously I appreciate you lending me clothes, but don't you have anything more my style?" Bella said.
"It will look great on you. Trust us. Oh, and take these for gym." Rosalie told Bella.
I wished I could see what they were talking about. I slipped on a white beater and jeans when I realized my gray t-shirt was in the laundry basket downstairs.
BPOV
I couldn't believe that they were making me wear this. I wouldn't have minded so much if it were at my house, but we were at their house. Where Edward lived.
It was embarrassing to see what he thought of me in this. I knew they picked out the outfit to please him, I knew because the color of the shirt was a dark blue. Edward's favorite on me.
It was a dark blue v-neck sweater, and it fit very snuggly. Too snuggly for my taste, and it showed my figure, the little figure I had anyway.
It was worn with light blue—almost white skinny jeans that were also a little too tight for my taste.
"Thanks a lot you guys." I said sarcastically.
"You look good." Alice said.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I got to go now. See you at school." I said, leaving the room. I had a lot of things to think over, and I wished I had longer than a quick motorcycle ride to do so.
I considered skipping school, but then decided against it knowing I would be gone the rest of the week. I walked down the hall, and prepared myself to walk past Edward's room.
I wished I could go in, but I decided against it. It would be better to just go straight to school. I was about to peek in Edward's room when all of the sudden he was in front of me.
My hand flew up to my silent heart.
"You scared me!" I said to him.
Then I looked him over. He was in a white beater, and it fit him perfectly. You could see the muscles of his chest, and his long arms. I gulped, and then shook my head.
I couldn't think about these things. Especially since he wasn't mine. He wasn't anyone's but I still knew that I couldn't be thinking these things; I couldn't gaze longingly at his perfect chest.
When I finally met his eyes, there was a weird look on his face. Almost like he was confused. Behind the confusion there was longing, and sadness, and—I wasn't completely sure—but love.
"I'm sorry. I was just going downstairs to get my shirt." he said, an impish grin on his face now.
"I was going downstairs to leave." I said. We began to walk together.
"I'll walk you to your motorcycle." he offered.
"No, it's okay." I said.
"I'd like to." he said, pleading in his voice.
"If you're sure." I said.
EPOV
We approached Bella's motorcycle. I was sad that our little walk had to end this quickly. I just loved being next to her, feeling light traces of electricity hum between us.
"No helmet?" I asked her when we stopped in front of her motorcycle.
"No need." she said. Then she bent over and brushed all of her hair up, brought herself back up and twirled her hair into a bun.
At that moment I appreciated and hated the outfit that Alice and Rosalie picked out for her. It complemented her so much, and the color blue was so beautiful on her.
It hugged her every curve, and brought them to my attention. When I ran into her in the hallway I looked her up in down, taking her beauty in.
She did the same to me, and the look of longing in her eyes confused me a little.
I wished I could tell her how beautiful she looked, but I was afraid that it would embarrass her, and make things awkward.
Bella would always be beautiful to me, and she looked just as beautiful when she was human. I took her all in.
Her beautiful face, her long hair in a messy bun, her blue sweater, her jeans and sneakers. I hated hearing what other guys thought of her; most of them had their sick little fantasies.
And sometimes I felt no better than them when I thought of Bella. I felt like I was just another guy, trying to get her attention, to have this beautiful girl to be mine.
It was harder to deal with when I knew that she could end up with one of those boys rather than me. I hoped that I had an advantage because I, as she, would be around forever.
I snapped out of my thoughts when she spoke.
"See you at school." she said, and she sped away.
"EDWARD! Hurry up!" Alice sang.
"Okay, okay." I said.
Author's Note:
Eu this isn't very good.
I just re read it after writing my first note up above.
I'm sorry it's sloppy and lazy. I might edit it and then write a new chapter. I don't know.
