A/N: I'm only updating this one tonight because I had a lot of homework, I'm done now and to Big Fan the words "Your arms are my castle…" and so on are lyrics! :D they are from the song "Everytime We Touch" by Cascada you should check it out!
Jack, Fabrizio, and I said our goodbyes to the Cartmells and began walking back to our stay room. "So what were you thinking about?" he asked me. "What?" I asked. I honestly hadn't a clue what he meant. "Before during breakfast? It seemed like something was really bothering you…" Jack explained. "Oh… No it was nothing," I lied, not turning my head to look at his face. I knew he was watching me, but I kept my head forward.
Why did he have to make me so uncomfortable? I mean whenever he looked at me… He just really didn't get it and if he did… He wouldn't have had to ask such a painful—for me—question.
"Kelsey…" he trailed off. "Jack, I've told you before. If I want to talk to you, I will… I just don't want to talk to anyone about this right now," I said a bit harsher than I had hoped. He looked like he was about to press on, and I was surprised he did.
"Kelsey, you know you can't hide this… whatever it is… I'm completely lost over here! I want you to tell me! But I can't make you…" he said, trying his best not to flip out. I sighed helplessly. "I can't," I said sadly. I squeezed his eyes shut as if forcing the pain of a headache to dull away, but I knew he was mentally counting. It wasn't keeping him calm unfortunately.
"DAMMIT, KELSEY!" he yelled, slamming his fist into one of the walls. I was just grateful he didn't put a hole through it. He didn't even dent it. I jumped at the sound though. My eyes were probably bigger than the moon right now. "You obviously don't notice much, do you, Jack?" I snapped, speeding up toward our room. Why hadn't we gotten there already dammit?
He grabbed my arm, roughly but almost gently too. He spun me around so I was facing him. I knew he wouldn't dare hurt me. Jack may have lost his temper easily, but he never got physically violent with a lady. He stared into my eyes, and I wished I could take back all my "I can't's," but I couldn't.
"Kelsey, I'll ask you for the last time, tell me what's wrong?" he asked. His voice was gentle but harsh. I looked into his eyes and sighed. "I—," "You can," he snapped. I burst into tears and I could see his gaze go from harsh and demanding to gentle and caring. He suddenly realized just how sensitive I was to this confusing topic.
I wiped at my eyes quickly, but it was no use. He released me and I began running. I didn't care who I shoved past right now. I needed to go somewhere. Somewhere I could just cry. Somewhere I could hide. Maybe if I was lucky… I'd never be found again…
I just ran, looking for someplace. It was ship and there were only so many places one could hide. It was harder for Third Class considering we were excluded from almost every part of this ship!
The sky was an orange, the clouds purple and pink. I'd finally stopped crying… I looked like a freaking clown! My face was all red and my eyes were bright pink from all the crying. I didn't want such a breakdown to occur… But I was provoked and pushed toward the edge. I thought of jumping ship, but even I knew that wouldn't solve a damn thing… Only make the situation worse.
I got up from my hiding place—behind a few boilers up on the First Class boat deck—and rubbed at my already sore eyes. I sighed miserably and decided I was just going to go back to my stay room. "Kelsey?" I heard a voice. I turned around.
Rose?
"Yes?" I said, just as miserably as I felt. "Jack told me how you were feeling…" she said. Yeah, didn't see that one coming, I thought. I knew deep down I didn't mean to think these things… I just couldn't help it. It was the envy talking, not me.
I laughed almost evilly. I could see she ignored my burst of laughter. "I think I know why… Even if Jack doesn't," she said. "Of course you would… Everyone but Jack does!" I practically yelled. She grabbed my hand gently, but I ripped my hand free of her grasp. Why am I acting so… heartless? She obviously wants to talk! I thought, hating myself more than ever.
"I'm sorry," I said weakly. She nodded but said, "You love Jack."
It wasn't a question. It was a statement of pure truth.
I sighed. "Yeah… I do… more than anything else," I said, rubbing my, once again, wet eyes. She walked up to me. "I'm sorry if I made you feel… jealous or anything. It took me a while that night at the Party to realize why you were always staring at Jack… I feel really stupid saying this but I do love Jack too, and if fate were any other way, I'd let you have him…" she said. "Why would you feel stupid saying that?" I asked. "Well… because… Gosh, I don't want you to think I'm just saying this stuff… I honestly mean if fate were any other way I'd give you Jack," she said.
"I wish I could say the same but it just hurts so much to think he doesn't even know! I mean, I want to say I'm happy you and Jack are together, but honestly… I don't… It hurts, but I'll heal," I said. Rose nodded her head.
"Go on, Rose," I said. "Jack's probably waiting for you," I said. She rubbed my left shoulder comfortingly before walking off.
Maybe I'd be okay… At least Rose didn't tell me to stay away from him… anyone else would've I bet. Anyone else…
I would be okay… I'd still love Jack…
But I'd be alive, and okay, and perhaps even satisfied.
I still had Tommy!
A/N: So? I know I say that in every author's note! But I just love to hear what you guys have to say! I don't really mind if I get reviews or not! :D They're appreciated but not necessary! :) I hope you all enjoyed the story!
