Chapter 8: Frivolity

Raven made three more attempts that week to meet up with Matt during science, with that suspected Terra being a no-show. She learned from the teacher that she'd been informed that the girl was out with a bad case of the flu and by doctor's orders was told to stay in bed and ride it out.

Raven told Matt she was going to give it a week or two before she made another attempt, and she'd see him in history class. He seemed somewhat disappointed with the outcome, but accepted it with resignation.

Meanwhile, her three uninformed teammates remained oblivious to her class attendance. Raven kept Starfire informed with what she knew, and she kept an eye on Beast Boy when she was home.

His mood didn't seem to lighten too much over the week, although the few moments Raven spent with him to cheer him up truly did what they were intended for—cheer him up.

She had caught him three more times that week at the shore side throwing stones into the sea, and she had joined in with him each time. He made the Terra comment once more to her during one of those visits, which for some reason didn't seem to bother her.

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She had skipped school all week. She'd called herself in sick, which it was by doctor's orders she was to be bed bound. But—in reality, she wasn't sick. She wasn't sick at all.

She had been horrified to walk down the hall to her next class, only to spot her standing at the door to it. There was no easy way to escape it—no easy way in or out while avoiding being seen in the process.

She had been dressed up in the school uniform—looking like any other student who attended classes. She had been chatting with a boy from her class—one she was familiar with. How she had managed to discover that was her classroom, she had no clue. She just knew she'd have to avoid classes until things blew over and that girl gave up.

She did have to hand it to Raven though—she knew how to search for something and know just what direction she needed to head. She definitely was persistent.

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A week had passed since Raven gave up attempting to catch Terra in the hall. She got the sense the girl knew she was there, and was purposely skipping class to avoid her. Raven was patient; she'd give it time and then try again when Terra was most unaware.

She'd finally managed to get a copy of the history text she needed for that course; the teacher for that course had managed to find an extra copy lying around for her. As a result, she probably wouldn't need to keep up study dates with Matt to keep current on the materials, but for some reason, she bothered to keep up with them regardless.

To keep her disguise going, Raven had gone shopping for some pieces to add to her wardrobe for those dates, with some help from Starfire. When Robin had to question the reasoning behind it, both girls just stated it was to get in some girls only time—outside the tower. Robin didn't try to understand it—he just accepted it.

All the while, the three guys remained oblivious to the plans the girls had set in motion, and the girls didn't bother to tell them.

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Yet another day without any success of finding Terra, and Raven knew her attendance issues would hurt her grades greatly due to her deliberate absences. At any rate though, Raven wasn't concerned about that fact—it was Terra's decision to mar her education's integrity with tardiness and absences.

She met up with Matt yet again at the library right after school, picking something from her new wardrobe for the occasion. As a cover for her guise of a routine trip to anyone who noticed her departure outside of Starfire, Raven brought with her a few books she'd checked out that were due to be returned.

She again ran into Beast Boy on her way out. He still carried the same somber mood as usual, but he seemed somewhat brightened on running into her by chance.

"Going to the library again?" Beast Boy asked as he noticed the stack of materials and texts she had with her.

"Uh—yeah," Raven replied simply.

"Is there a reason why you dress up for every visit you've made there lately?" Beast Boy asked her curiously.

"I just—thought I needed a change for once." Raven's response was pretty vague, and she was hoping he'd accept that without further questioning. She wasn't exactly up to telling him the truth about her plans just yet.

Apparently, Beast Boy did accept the answer she gave him without questioning it, but he didn't look like he was completely satisfied with the answer.

"Well—have fun looking at books, I guess," Beast Boy instead replied with. He resumed going on his way to whatever destination he was previously set on. She just watched him silently for a moment, partially regretting that she was being only half truthful with him. The thought of Matt waiting up for her occurred to her consciousness, so she headed out as she had planned to.

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Matt was already at the library when Raven arrived. He had his attention focused on a book resting on the table before him. When he noticed her presence, he looked up, smiling.

"I thought you tended to be punctual with your timing," Matt told her. "You ran a bit late."

"I got caught up in something before I got here that slowed me down," Raven stated, setting her stack of texts on the table and taking a seat right beside him.

"That kind of thing happens," Matt said, shrugging. "At least you showed."

"What section are we supposed to be covering again?" Raven asked him. "I can't quite remember where we need to study from in this."

"Pages 125 through 146, Chapter 12," Matt told her.

"Yeah—right, the chapter on American history after they gained their freedom from England during the war," Raven noted, taking the proper text out so she could leaf through it to the right chapter.

"You know—I didn't get to mentioning this before—but…I wanted you to know I think you're pretty," Matt said, catching Raven off guard and staring at him.

"Huh?" Raven exclaimed, her expression mixed in shock and confusion.

"You're a pretty girl—that's what I said," Matt restated. "Haven't you ever been told that by anyone?"

"I'm not sure—I don't recall any times anyways," Raven told him. "I don't go fishing for compliments though—so that might be why."

"Genuine girls don't have to," Matt said.

Raven wasn't quite sure why she appreciated that compliment so much; she just knew she enjoyed hearing it. Her concentration was focused away from her studies, and instead was focused on him. She knew her face was rouge tinted, but at that moment she didn't care. He was smiling; satisfied obviously at the acknowledgement of her expressive response to the compliment he gave her. Unconsciously she responded to his actions as he was leaning in closer to her. She temporarily had no control of her own comprehension, caught in confusion as they made contact with each other and he was kissing her.

Raven closed her eyes without even thinking about it. Her mind was in such a daze she really didn't have the mind to think coherently. When he eventually pulled away from her, he noticed how shocked she was by his action.

"Don't tell me you've never been kissed before," Matt said to her.

"No—actually, I haven't," Raven admitted. She was very certain her face was deeply rouged at that moment; she could feel the warmth on her face that made it evident.

"That's surprising," Matt commented. "For someone who's never done it before—you're a pretty damn good kisser."

Raven knew the extent of the redness to her face had been reached; she knew she couldn't blush any more deeply than she was just then.

"Shouldn't we get back to our studies?" Raven reminded him, looking at him bashfully.

"In a bit," Matt replied. Without any warning, he leaned in close to her again, catching her off guard yet again as he moved in to kiss her again.

Surprisingly to her—she made no motion to object to his actions. She just found herself complying with them.

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Raven knew even after they had parted company and she returned to the tower for the night that she was still blushing slightly from what had happened at the library. She was still in too deep a shock to comprehend what had happened completely—and why.

She immediately headed up to her room, hoping to avoid any of her friends so they wouldn't see her in that state. She wasn't quite prepared to confront them and try to explain just why she was red in the face.

"He—kissed me," Raven wondered aloud, still trying to make sense of it in her mind. "Why—did he kiss me?"

That wasn't part of the plan, she told herself. I'm supposed to be in this to help save Beast Boy's sanity by finding Terra. I shouldn't be kissing boys I hardly know right now!

She hadn't been very successful with her original plan up to that point; she still hadn't spotted Terra in that school since she started classes there. She had had more success in getting her first kiss from a boy—and that wasn't even a goal she was set on achieving anytime soon. She felt frustrated with herself for being

so frivolous and not so set with the real mission she was there for to begin with.

Starfire showed up a short time later. Raven allowed her in; she felt she needed to talk to someone anyways, and Starfire was the closest she had to confide in the kind of conversation she intended to bring up.

"Have you had any success in discovering Terra at the school you have been attending to find her?" Starfire asked her after the door closed behind her.

"No—I haven't had any luck in that department," Raven told her. She felt uneasy and embarrassed to bring it up, but she knew she eventually would. "Um…something else has happened that I wasn't expecting—and isn't part of my plan—that I think I need to talk to someone about to clear up my conscience a bit."

"What has occurred that is miring up your conscience?" Starfire asked her. "Is it something of a hurtful nature?"

"No—it's more just something of a sensitive nature," Raven averted her eyes. "That boy I met at the school that's been helping me out with this Terra thing—Matt, he—uh…kissed me while were at the library studying earlier."

"What about that is particularly conflicting you?" Starfire asked her.

"The thing is—I don't know," Raven admitted. "I'm not sure if it's because he thinks I'm somebody else—and the fact that it's all a façade kind of ruins it, that it's not part of my mission and I feel like I'm straying too much by trying to get something out of this for myself, or if it's just the fact that it was my first—and I'm just feeling off because of that fact."

"Or is it possible you don't care enough about this boy to get involved with him in any form outside of just getting his assistance?" Starfire pointed out.

"Star—I don't even know the answer to that," Raven also admitted. "If there's even a chance I might like him—it was still too early for me to get to that level in the first place. I prefer not to get into relationships frivolously. It's just not who I am."

"I do not really know what kind of advice I could give on this, I must apologize," Starfire said.

"You don't have to apologize," Raven told her. "I didn't expect you to give me advice—I just needed to get my frustrations about this out to someone else—and it's not like I could tell the guys about it for a couple of obvious reasons."

"Do you intend to keep meeting up with this boy—Matt, in the future?" Starfire

asked her.

"He's my only key to finding Terra—so any way I look at it, I don't think I could just stop meeting up with him altogether," Raven stated. "I'll just have to make an effort to not lead him on—and avoid making any form of suggestion to him other then just advice on finding an old friend."