A/N: Episode used is Genesis of the Daleks. The memory in the middle where the Doctor says he didn't mean to survive is from a previous story in this series, Echoes. When I wrote Echoes Day of the Doctor didn't exist so there may be a minor deviation from canon if you squint, but it's too late to change it now! :P
Apologies for the slow updates but a ton of research is going into this one! ;)
Chapter 8 - Benevolence
Her search for the Doctor had turned up nothing. She had been across the landscape for what felt like hours, calling out his name but getting nothing but her own mild echo coming back to her.
It wasn't until she happened on some sort of bunker that suddenly she felt someone behind her. She was about to turn when she remembered not to turn back, and stayed firmly rooted to the spot.
"Doctor?" she asked instead, nervously.
"Rose!"
The strange hooded man she who had saved her when the house had tried to squeeze her to death suddenly appeared in front of her.
"Having fun?" he asked.
"Yeah, fun," she muttered. "I've lost the Doctor."
"Oh, don't worry, I'm always losing him, and I am him," he replied. "Which makes perfect sense when you think about it, well, sort of, well, no."
"... You make no sense."
"Probably not," the man conceded, and started walking. Rose followed.
"But you're the Doctor, right? Which Doctor?"
"We are all the same Doctor."
"I know, but you know what I mean," she said, slightly exasperated having to jog a little to keep pace with him. "Are you the one with the teeth or the one with the recorder?"
"Hmm," the man mused. "Maybe I should take that up again. Or the organ. I used to play the hammond organ. Won Straxos' Got Talent, then got bad press for not being Straxian though I did save their planet, there's gratitude for you."
Rose quickly realised that she was going to struggle to get anything out of this crazy version of him. "Okay, look. Shut up and concentrate."
"Yes, shutting up and concentrating," he declared.
"Do you know where my Doctor is?"
"No."
For a moment Rose paused, a little surprised that he'd actually directly answered her question. "Okay, got any idea where he'd be?"
"No."
"Well, thanks, you were a lot of help," she replied jokingly.
"No problem, Rose Tyler," he said. "Better be going, things to do, and remember, don't die!"
He ran off before Rose even had time to process what he'd said.
"Y'know," she directed to the sky with an accompanying sigh. "The more I'm gettin' to know you, the more annoying you're gettin'."
Of course, she got no reply.
She looked back, and realised that the crazy Doctor had led her straight to the door of the bunker, and there were voices inside it. Intrigued, she opened the door and stepped in, following the voices down the corridors until she reached a small room.
There were stood two people - one was Sarah, the other was a tall man in a suit and tie with curly brown hair. Harry, Rose realised. Sarah had often talked about him and had pictures on her wall. He was holding another piece of wire with two strands on the end. Sarah was looking a bit anxious and nervous.
"What's taking him so long?" she hissed to Harry.
"It's a very delicate operation, Sarah," Harry said, fiddling with the wire in his hand. "Still, he should've finished by now."
"Doctor?" Sarah asked after a moment. "Doctor, are you all right?"
Suddenly the door burst open and out came the teeth and curls Doctor, somehow his scarf even longer than before. Around his neck was wrapped some sort of alien creature, strangling him as he cried out desperately.
Rose, Harry and Sarah, all well-trained companions, jumped forward immediately to help him. Sarah and Harry both tried to pull the creature off, but it wasn't coming.
Then Rose remembered she had the sonic.
She drew it out of her pocket and pressed down the (what she assumed to be) button. Whether it was the sonic or pure coincidence she didn't know, but seconds afterwards Sarah managed to get a bit of the creature off, followed by Harry, before finally the Doctor managed to get the last of it off of his throat, throwing it back into the room he'd come from and closing the door.
He stumbled to Harry and Sarah, grabbing the wires Harry had been fiddling with. Then he paused.
"What are you waiting for!?" Sarah cried.
He gazed at the wires in his hands, his eyes wide. "Just touch these two strands together... and the Daleks are finished."
Rose froze. The Doctor had never told her this. He'd had the chance to destroy the Daleks?
"Have I that right?" the Doctor suddenly continued.
"To destroy the Daleks? You can't doubt it!" Sarah insisted.
"Well, I do," the Doctor croaked. "You see, some things could be better with the Daleks. Many future worlds will become allies just because of their fear of the Daleks."
"But… But it isn't like that!" Sarah stumbled out desperately.
"But the final responsibility is mine, and mine alone," he moaned, and suddenly looked directly at Rose. She jumped a little, surprised he'd noticed her in the commotion. "Listen, if someone who knew the future pointed out a child to you and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives, could you then kill that child?"
Harry and Sarah both looked at Rose, as the Doctor did. They were expecting an answer from her.
"... But that's not the same," Rose insisted. "That's a life, a human life."
"How is that any different from a Dalek life?" the Doctor asked.
She swallowed. "Maybe you could change that child, if you knew the future of the child you could raise it with more compassion, help it."
"So why can't the Daleks be raised with compassion?" the Doctor countered. "Why can't we shape them?"
"You could, but I bet you can't," Rose countered.
"We're talking about the Daleks," Sarah interjected. "The most evil creatures ever invented. You must destroy them, you must complete your mission for the Time Lords!"
"Do I have the right?" the Doctor said again. "Simply touch one wire against the other and that's it. The Daleks cease to exist. Hundreds of millions of people, thousands of generations can live without fear, in peace, and never even know the word Dalek."
"Then why wait?" Sarah demanded to know. "If it was a disease or some sort of bacteria you were destroying, you wouldn't hesitate!"
"But I kill... wipe out a whole intelligent lifeform... then I become like them. I'd be no better than the Daleks."
Rose knew those words, and it broke her heart.
"I'm nothing but a murderer. I'm… I'm nothing but a Dalek."
Then she felt it. The pain inside this Doctor, torn between duty and morality. It felt like her heart had stopped. She wanted more than anything to run forward and hug him, but she knew that was hardly pro-active.
She then realised he was looking at her again. There were tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, and she knew he could see them.
"Suppose someone in here knew the future," he said again, gazing at her. "What would they think?"
"Think of all the suffering there'll be if you don't do it," Sarah implored, but Rose barely heard her. As Rose stared back at the Doctor's face, she realised in her mind's eye all she'd seen. All of the suffering on Satellite Five; all the death and lack of mercy the Daleks carried with them throughout through attacks. The way they had killed that poor man in Torchwood. The way they had cut down men, women and children alike when they had moved the Earth. The never ending pursuit of universal domination; to wipe out every other species. The nightmares she'd had to comfort him through, in fact, the nightmares she'd had too. The amount of pain they had caused the Doctor. The near-extinction of the Time Lords.
"The final days were hell. I'd seen Davros fly into the jaws of the Nightmare Child, I'd seen the fall of Arcadia; the destruction of Hotel Historia, Polymos and Kolox. There were so many Daleks, there were the Skaro Degradations, the Nightmare Child, the Horde of Travesties and the Could've Been King with his armies of Meanwhiles and Neverweres. Millions were dying and coming back to life every second just to be killed again as time was completely obliterated in the final days. The council were going mad... Well, we were all going mad."
"How so?" Brax asked quietly.
"Towards the end they wanted to... Rassilon proposed the Ultimate Sanction. I couldn't let them, Braxiatel. So I found the Great Key. I thought I could replicate the De-mat Gun, modify it to wipe the Medusa Cascade. Things escalated. I ended up making... the Moment."
Brax's shot open. "You're the Renegade!" he realised in horror.
The Doctor swallowed, nodding. "I'm so sorry, Braxiatel. I couldn't watch the Ultimate Sanction going into effect. I renounced my name, and kept the Moment with me. The Time Lords knew I had it, but they couldn't do anything about it. The day the Daleks destroyed every Battle Tardis and made it to the Citadel itself, I used the Moment. The War ended."
"Gjara'vont," Brax breathed, his eyes wide in horror.
"I didn't have a choice," the Doctor croaked.
"So totally fine with killing you're entire race bar two," the Master grunted. "Because you didn't have a choice, hmm?"
"It wasn't like that!" the Doctor yelled, frustrated and upset. "I didn't mean..."
"Oh, it was an accident?" the Master interrupted.
"I didn't mean to survive!"
I didn't mean to survive.
The words had chilled her then and seemed to now feel even worse. This Doctor, so young, didn't know any of this. He couldn't see any of it. He couldn't even envision it.
And he knew that too.
It wasn't like her recommendation was going to impact the future at all, but it felt like it would. This was the moment, she decided, the moment where she proved her worth to him. Why he loved her.
"... Think about it," she eventually began, her mouth dry. "If you don't let them live, you're condemnin' them to die before they've been born. That's not fair. How can you judge somethin' that's never had a chance to judge itself? Yeah, okay, so we know they're gonna be evil, but you know what, so is the Master. But you've never killed him, yeah? You've had the chances, but why have you never killed him? Because you believe in him. You believe in people. You think they might come to good. Even the Daleks. Which I know sounds crazy but if you think about it, here and now they're not doing anythin' right now.
"The one thing you and me don't know is your own personal future. So how can we judge 'em? I know what they've done to you more than anyone, I know what they mean to you in the future, but they're still makin' their own story. Who says they won't suddenly turn around cos their programming's been rewritten or somethin', and be the greatest, most brilliant creatures, protecting the whole universe? So you think you're riddin' yourself of the biggest evil, but maybe you're riddin' yourself of the greatest good too without even knowin' it. You're not a god, you're not all-knowing and all that, but you're benevolent. Don't confuse 'em."
She finished, quite surprised by what had come out of her mouth. The Doctor gazed at her for a long moment.
Then he smiled the most brilliant smile.
"Doctor!" a voice suddenly yelled from the corridor before a man entered, dressed in black and holding a gun. "Doctor, I've been looking everywhere for you. Davros has agreed to our terms."
"He submitted?" Harry gaped.
"He did, but he asked only one thing. That he might be allowed to address a meeting of all the Elite, scientific and military."
"He's going to put a case?" the Doctor asked, astonished.
"Yes, but a vote will be taken. It's a foregone conclusion. There'll be a complete landslide against any further development of the Daleks. We've won."
"I'm grateful to you, Gharman," the Doctor breathed, staring at the wires in his hands. "More grateful than I can tell you."
He shot a look at Rose, and smiled. She couldn't tell if he already knew how his meeting with Davros would go. Did he know that they would be created anyway and the meeting was pointless? Or did he believe he could deny what she'd said?
"The meeting's about to begin," the man called Gharman continued. "Will you come?"
"Yes," the Doctor affirmed, inclining with his head for Harry and Sarah to leave. He then gathered up the wire, yanked it so it broke, and looked at Rose.
"That felt rather pivotal," he declared, and held up the gathered wire in his hand. "Take this."
He threw it to her. She caught it, surprised.
"I hope to see you again," he said with that amazing grin.
"Don't doubt it," she told him, wrapping it around her elbow to neaten it out and tie it together.
He gave her one last nod, and disappeared.
A/N: Translation
Gjara'vont - Of darkest thought
