Chapter 8- I Want To Talk To You... About The Future –By Nicole Thompson

Love is sometimes denied, sometimes lost, sometimes unrecognized, but in the end, always found with no regrets, forever valued and kept treasured.
-Anonymous

"Logan? What are you…?"

"I missed you, Ace, and I was worried about you. I know I haven't really been there for you lately, and I'm so sorry for that."

"Logan, you don't need to apolo…"

"Ace, listen, please; just hear me out." She nodded, and walked over closer to him; she leaned against his car and swathed herself in her arms, hoping for some warmth. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. Since Dad came to Martha's Vineyard and hauled me to that meeting, I've been doing a lot of thinking."

She looked up to meet his eyes, hoping that since she had figured out her own feelings, he wasn't doubting his. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, feeling a bit awkward talking as they were standing out in the rain.

"I am also sorry that I haven't been very willing to talk about it, or about the future. I just want you to know that I am concerned about you. Taking off like that; not leaving a note, or telling me where you were going- that isn't you. Is everything alright?"

"Let's go sit down," she said, smiling softly. She took his hand and interlaced their drenched fingers. She could feel the water still trickling down her face and clothes as they found cover under the porch roof; they sat down on the wicker love seat. She sat sideways, with her back against the arm, so that she could look at him as she spoke.

"Logan, I've been having a tough time sleeping lately. It takes me hours to fall asleep and then I have this ridiculous recurring dream. It is the same dream, every night. And every time I wake up after it, I can't get back to sleep. After three weeks of being exhausted and burned out, I didn't know what else to do. Also, something that Jess said to me has really been bothering me. I thought maybe some time back home would improve the situation some."

"Did it?" he asked shortly.

She could see the concern in his eyes. He hadn't realized her restlessness had been so deep-rooted. He also had no idea that Jess had meant that much to her. He never expected anything that the writer said to stay with her for so long. He found himself a bit enraged that she was still upset over something that Jess had said; especially because he knew Jess didn't approve of their relationship. He pushed the feelings back, knowing that what he really needed to do was to support her and hear her out.

"What I realized is that no matter what happens, living in the past is never worth giving up the present, or the future. It took a lot of thinking, and two very uncomfortable run-ins, but I can honestly say, that I don't think I'll be having that dream anymore."

"Two uncomfortable run-ins, huh?"

She looked at him; knowing that she couldn't leave it at that. He no doubt wanted to know who they were with, and what was said. That was one thing she always had to give Logan credit for; no matter what, he was always interested in everything she said.

"Yeah; you see, I was in the gazebo this afternoon, writing in my journal, and Dean came up to me."

"He was the first boyfriend?" he questioned, tensing up. Logan hated thinking about her being around her exes, mostly because he knew that both of them were recurring themes in her past.

"Yes. But that doesn't really have anything to do with it. I mean, it does, but at the same time… well, let me just explain. So, Dean came up to me, and we caught each other up on our lives over dinner. He left for the airport, but I couldn't get the nagging voice out of my head."

A quizzical expression crossed Logan's face.

"When Jess came to Hartford," she explained. "He said that I wasn't the same person I used to be. He said that I had changed, and I guess he was right." She paused.

Should I really be telling him all of this? Two ex-boyfriends in one day usually isn't the type of thing your boyfriend wants to know about. He will understand though, or at least I hope he will; besides, he needs to know.

"I think because of the fact that Dean has known me for so long, I kind of just needed his reassurance, you know? I needed to know that he didn't think I had abandoned who I once was. Needless to say, I followed him to the airport and I kind of broke down. He really brought everything back into perspective for me. He told me not to worry about the past, because we all make mistakes."

She could tell he was somewhat hurt. She knew that he didn't like her being comforted by other guys, especially when the other guy was someone she'd been intimate with. She also knew that she couldn't continue to build a future with him and keep this from him.

Come on Rory… yes, there is a look in his eye…a look that is a cross between hurt and utter disdain… but he needs to know.

"Dean got on the plane and I drove back to town and had run-in number two… with Jess."

She sighed deeply before proceeding. "He began the conversation by making a rude comment about you and a rather painful argument ensued. Leave it to Jess to find something to argue about every time we talk. Anyway, we hashed it out, and in the end, I think I really discovered what I'm sure I knew all along. The fact that I've changed is not what was bothering me. What was bothering me was that I felt like I had something to prove to him. After Jess left, he did something with his life; I mean, he wrote a book. Not many 23 year olds have that on their resume. After his lecture outside the pub, I think I was just afraid I wouldn't ever accomplish anything that can be compared to being a published author."

He couldn't take it anymore; did she even know what she was saying?

"Ace listen," he began. "Just because he wrote a book doesn't mean you owe him anything. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You may not have written a book, but look at you. You are at the top of your class at one of the most challenging schools in the country. You're the editor of the Yale Daily News. You're one of the best damn journalists I know; maybe the best. You are more dedicated to school than anyone I've met."

He paused, regaining control of his thoughts. "Not to mention that you're completely dedicated to your family and friends. You think of everyone before yourself and you put up with my shit constantly. I don't know anyone that can measure up to you."

He looked her square in the eyes, making sure she fully grasped how much he thought of her. He saw her eyes fill with tears and pulled her over to his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Logan, I'm so sorry for not calling…"

He laughed. What a response, Ace. "No need for apologies now," he said quietly.

He put his hand under her chin and lifted her face toward his. He gently brushed away the stray tears that were still running down her cheek.

"I love you; you know that right?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

She smiled, looking at him through eyes that were still leaking out tears. "I love you too, Logan."

"Rory," he began. Her eyes met his as he said her name. He usually only did when he really wanted to be clear on what he was saying. "I want talk to you… about the future."

He felt her tense considerably. Here it is, she thought. A weight came out of no where and dropped into her stomach, making her feel sick.

"Rory- I can't tell you how much you mean to me. From the first time I met you, I knew that you were different; that you were special. There is this crazy feeling I get, whenever you look at me. In the time that I've known you, you've made me want to be a better person, want to be different."

"When you told me that you wanted to stop seeing me, that you couldn't do the no strings thing, I thought I was going to be sick. I couldn't stand to be without you, and I'm so glad you opened my eyes." He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers.

"The love I feel for you makes me believe all of the sappy romantic things that men do in chick flicks, and in the great romantic novels." He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. This is it, he thought to himself. The moment of truth.

"I know that things won't be easy, and I know that especially with everything going on with my father, there will be complications. But I can't stand to go on, knowing that there is a possibility that you won't be mine forever."

Instinctively his hand reached down into his pocket as he watched her eyes fill with emotion. He moved from the bench and knelt down beside her, a small black velvet box now sitting comfortably in his hand.

"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, I love you. I love you with all of my heart. Will you marry me?"

He opened the box; she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss before even looking at the ring. She released him and he gently pulled the ring out of the box. All of her fear had faded, all of the horrible emotions she'd been feeling all day had melted away at his words. She was happy; truly happy.

"Yes, Logan Huntzberger." He slipped the ring onto her finger and kissed her again. She pulled back and sighed, "I will marry you."

-The End-