Ok, you guys get the next chapter! You have Guest Ninja0404 to thank for correctly guessing the cameos! For those of you who hadn't guessed yet, the cameos were of Jack and Elsa (Misty is Jack's sister, don't judge). You go, Ninja0404!
So, no cameos in this chapter (unless you count a few lines referencing dialogue from the movies) *tear*, but there's more bonding in this chapter, and more of Natasha using her powers. She's not doing anything too major yet, but there are some, surprises, for the end of the chapter. Really this whole chapter is just full of surprises, and some weird, messed up logic that I created for the purposes of plot in the name of fanfiction (so there), and I hope you all have fun reading the roller coaster that is chapter 8.
Enjoy!
Chapter 8: Finding Home
The next night, Loki was pacing the cell waiting for her. She was late, and the longer it took for her to get to him, the more worried he got. A pair of guards walked past his cell talking, likely leaving as their shift ended, and he strained his ears to listen.
"You know she hasn't gotten pregnant yet? Odin doesn't even have her on any contraception," the first one said, and his friend snickered.
"Apparently she isn't even good for that," he snarked, and Loki began to fume. "She can't be used for breeding. It must come from being a mutt."
Loki was about to retort when they rounded a corner and walked away. He clenched his fists, and his magic made some of the furniture in the room go flying. He sighed and waved his hand to clean up before Natasha got there, and began to create simple illusions to let out the rest of his frustration.
He wasn't sure why he felt so protective of the former agent. He suspected part of it was he knew some of her past from Clint's memories, but it was more than that. She wouldn't talk about what was happening to her, she had cried openly around him, she had shown him some of her fonder memories of her little family and the day she said goodbye, and he could tell she was injured, but she still wasn't broken. He didn't understand why - he didn't understand her - but he wanted to try. He knew the Einherjar had her, have had her for a year without him even knowing, and he knew of the cruelty they were capable of. They say horrible things about the prisoners, and he's heard of them doing horrible things to women they've captured or conquered. The thought of them doing that to Natasha made him see red, and wondered dimly if that was why her hair was so naturally vibrant.
Suddenly he heard two sets of footsteps coming towards him, and looked out to see Natasha and Arnljot. Natasha was carrying the tray of food and had her head down so her long red curls hid her face. Natasha was pushed inside his cell and Loki had to move quickly to catch her so she didn't fall. She put the tray on the table as her handler darkened the walls, and Loki gently scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed. He held her in his lap as he stroked her hair, not liking how much she was trembling. He could tell she was trying to pull herself together, and she still hadn't looked up at him.
"Natasha," he said quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She didn't answer.
"Natasha," he tried again, but still no response. He gently moved some of her hair behind her shoulder to run his fingertips along the edge of her collar, and noticed large, finger-shaped bruises on her neck and shoulders, and a long but not too deep cut across the length of her left collarbone. His blood boiled.
"Natasha, what did he do?" Loki demanded, trying to keep his voice gentle so she wouldn't think he was mad at her. This time, when she didn't answer, he tilted her head up, and saw bruises forming under her right eye and along her jaw. Her lip had split and she had a gash along her hairline, and Loki practically growled when he saw drying blood on her upper thighs. "I'll kill him."
"Loki, I'm fine. Really," Natasha said quietly, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "I've had worse."
"Tasha, that's bullshit and we both know it," he said, the nickname just slipping out, but she didn't seem to notice. He softened his tone slightly as he continued. "You really can't lie to the God of Lies. They're kind of my thing. Please, what did he do?"
"I can't go back to Clint in a body bag," she whispered, and his eyes widened.
"What?" Loki asked, not understanding.
"I had a vision a year ago where Thor found out what they were doing to me and was yelling at Odin, and they killed me because they thought I told him," she murmured. "I'm afraid they would do the same thing if you found out…"
"Natasha, I wouldn't let them do that to you," he told her softly, pulling her close. "Please, show me what they did. Think of it as training. I'm asking you to show me something you've seen."
After a few moments she began trembling harder, but touched his temple gently. There was a flash of green and gold light behind his eyes, and suddenly he was watching Arnljot hurt her.
"If your tongue wasn't so useful I'd cut it out," the guard growled at her as he chained her in a small room with a stone floor and two small windows on one side. She was on her knees, with one chain attached to her cuffs, holding her arms above her head, and another one attached to her collar, binding her to the floor. He watched as he pulled out a riding crop with small gold spikes on one side that he had obviously used before and an intricate gold dagger that Loki recognized. It had been his, once upon a time. He watched as the asshole did unspeakable things to her, hitting her face whenever she cried out too loudly. Arnljot took the dagger and cut her collarbone with it, then trailed the flat edge of the dagger along the inside of her thighs. Loki winced when she whimpered quietly and the guard jerked his hand upwards, then roughly pulled the now-bloodied dagger down and away from her, leaving a trail of blood down her thighs. Tears began to spill down her cheeks, running across the bruises that were just beginning to show, and he finally unchained her and made her clean herself off. A young girl with silvery-blue hair and lavender eyes came in once she was clean and fixed her hair so the curls could cover Natasha's injuries, then Arnljot made her walk to the kitchen on unsteady legs and all the way down to the dungeon...
Loki held her tighter as the vision faded and he processed what he had seen. That douchebag had done all of that to her, and Natasha still said she'd had worse? How much could someone possibly go through and still be so strong? He gently stood up, still holding her, and laid her down on her back. He used his magic to heal her injuries one at a time so he could focus more energy into them, and pressed gentle kisses to where each injury had been once it vanished.
After he had healed the cut on her collar bone, he touched the zipper of her corset and waited for her permission to unzip it. When she nodded, he took off her leather bodice and began to heal the injuries there, some older, some newer and still bruised, and found a rather large scar on her left hip. He traced it gently, wondering where it came from.
"The man who did that isn't really supposed to exist," she said quietly, staring at the ceiling and trying to calm down.
"What do you mean?" he asked, urging her to continue.
"He's a ghost. An assassin who goes by the name Winter Soldier. He rarely ever appears. I was protecting his target and he shot him right through me," she said, then smirked as if remembering an old joke. "Bye-bye bikinis."
"Oh yeah, I'm sure you'd look awful in them now," he said, teasing her and causing her to laugh softly. He was amazed that she could still say things like that and joke around, amazed that she could even laugh after everything she's been through. On instinct, he leaned down and kissed the scar tissue gently, causing her to shiver as he moved on to heal the rest of her wounds.
He was nervous about healing the knife wound, if only because of where it was. He waited until the end to heal it, making sure to heal the rest of her scars and wounds first. When he finally had to heal it, he paused and fingered the gold decorations on her skirt.
"May I?" Loki asked, and when she nodded he carefully removed the black leather. What he saw was worse than he would have thought. She was still bleeding from an ugly wound in her core that he knew wasn't just her period. He couldn't imagine how much it would have hurt, and began to heal her as gently and thoroughly as possible. She squirmed a little from discomfort, though he could tell she tried not to move, and he apologized repeatedly until she was fully healed and he was sure she wouldn't scar. He used magic to conjure a damp towel and gently cleaned off the blood, then used a different spell to dispose of the cloth and create a soft, green, traditional silk Asgardian robe with gold runes embroidered into the fabric for protection, healing, and magic amplification. He helped her put it on, wrapping the fabric so she was covered elegantly, and tried not to stare.
The emerald green of her dress made her eyes even greener than usual, and seemed to make her hair a softer red, so she looked more like a beautiful red rose than the fire he was used to. The gold embroidery shimmered when she moved, and reacted with the collar and cuffs to make them look more like jewelry than binds. A loose strip of the silk looped through the ring on her collar and around her neck once before looping back through and wrapping around her waist. The bodice was fitted but not tight, and had cap sleeves, a scoop neckline and a scooping back, with a piece of gold silk with green embroidery draped from the back of the dress like a cape. The skirt was long and flowing, perfect for dancing in, and touched the floor in a way that made her look like she was floating. He created a pair of green silk slippers for her with a gold sole and heel, and put a spell on the pins in her hair so they had a little emerald on them and could be used as a weapon if she was attacked again. She looked like a goddess, and was possibly more beautiful than anyone in Odin's court.
"How do I look?" Natasha asked quietly, admiring the green silks she was wearing, and Loki conjured a mirror so she could see herself. She gasped almost inaudibly at her reflection, and he smiled at her before brushing her red curls behind her shoulders.
"Like a goddess," he said without thinking. Her eyes widened almost imperceptibly in surprise, then she turned back to the mirror and tried to hide a blush. He smiled at her, then a thought struck him. "Nat, can I ask you something?"
"Depends on what it is. But after this I get to ask you as many questions as I want," she replied, and Loki laughed.
"Fair enough. I was just wondering - and it's kind of a stupid question really, but I wanted to make sure - have you ever had sex for your own pleasure?" the God asked her quietly. He felt bad for asking her such a personal question, especially when the answer is pretty obvious because come on, she's beautiful and talented and strong and-
"No," she said simply, tracing one of the protective runes on her dress, and he stared at her blankly for a moment. What?
"Really? Why not?" he asked, part of him not wanting to pry, but a much bigger part of him was appalled that she would go through the kinds of abuse she has been without ever having some kind of pleasure from it.
"It never seemed important. I do whatever it takes to finish the mission, and while I try not to resort to sleeping with my targets, sometimes I have to. I've never felt the need to date or anything like that, and besides, I have way too many trust issues for it to work out," she said with a shrug. She would never apologize for who she is, and Loki admired it. He sat down on the bed, motioning for her to sit next to him, and when she did he wrapped an arm around her gently.
"If you ever wanted to, and you felt like you trusted me enough, I would like to show you how sex can be pleasurable," he said, and hoped that she wouldn't think he was just trying to use her like everyone else. He may have threatened that once upon a time, but he wouldn't really do it. She fascinated him, and he would never risk destroying something that could fascinate him. Besides, he had some of Clint's memories of her, and after seeing how eager she was to train and do something worthy of her intelligence, he wanted to learn more about her.
"Maybe I will. But not while I wear the collar and cuffs," she told him, just as the room began to spin and her vision swam. Her eyes flashed green and gold, making the embroidered runes glow softly, and he held her as she lost connection to the world around her.
She sitting on the grass in a beautiful garden, surrounded by roses as red as her hair, reading a book and mindlessly practicing her magic. The book was written in an ancient language, and she recognized the script from the embroidery on her gown and the books she had seen in Loki's cell. Her collar and cuffs were both gone, and her green and gold slippers were sitting next to her. Her bare feet were tucked under her, with her skirt draped in a wide circle around her. The dress she was wearing was the same one Loki had just made her, but with elegant gold armor on the torso that was decorated with small jewels, and the strip of fabric at her neck was gone. Her fiery red hair fell in long, layered curls down to her waist, with a portion of it braided elegantly and a few wisps of curls framing her face. She had her gold and emerald pins in her braid, and had something that looked like a beautiful gold tiara on top of her head, studded with diamonds and rubies and emeralds. She was wearing a ring on her left hand, with a large diamond set in the center of a beautiful gold band, with emerald runes spaced evenly around the circumference of the ring. She smiled when she noticed the only other jewelry she was wearing was the silver arrow necklace Clint had given her.
A woman came over to her, with her long dark hair pulled into a tight ponytail, and she was wearing red leather and silver armor that Natasha could tell made it easy to move and fight. She bowed to her, and as she stood up, Natasha realized it must be Sif. Thor had told her many stories, and the redhead had always wanted to meet her. The two seemed to be friends already, and had an animated discussion about something that Natasha couldn't hear very clearly. She heard a few words, mainly "Queen" and "Loki" and "children" (at which Natasha's hand rested on her stomach for a moment) and then the warrior left to go find Thor and the Warriors Three.
Once she was gone, Natasha went back to her book, and there was a flash of green light off to the side. Loki walked into view holding a rose, and sat down next to her. The robes and helm he was wearing made him look like a proper Asgardian king. Something told her he would normally be in his full armor, but he had decided to dress down for the day. She noticed he was wearing a gold band on his left hand as well, with matching emerald runes set in the gold at even intervals. He tucked the rose into her braid, and she watched as he waved his fingers and the rose turned into jewels. He kissed her temple then, and she heard herself laugh quietly as his hand rested on her waist and he nuzzled into her neck.
"You spoil me," she said quietly, and he chuckled.
"After everything, I think you deserve it," he told her, and she smiled as she set down her book.
"Who would've thought that the Black Widow and the God of Lies would rule a kingdom?" she asked, almost too quietly to be heard, but Loki obviously did.
"Who would've thought the Black Widow would trust the God of Lies enough to marry him?" he asked in response, and Natasha felt her heart stop for a minute while her vision-self just smiled brilliantly at him. They were married? That would explain the rings…and the crown… Loki kissed her forehead as he continued, "How is she?"
"She's fine. She likes it when I read to her," Natasha murmured. Loki smiled and kissed her gently, pulling her into his arms to hold her close. She melted into the kiss, trying to be even closer to him, and was shocked to feel an overwhelming sense of home .
When the vision faded, she found she was curled up in Loki's arms and he was playing with her hair while he waited. She was slightly shaken by what she had seen, but began to brush it off as simply a potential future, like the vision of Thor yelling at Odin and her death was, or the vision of her stuck as Kitty.
"What did you see?" Loki asked her quietly, still playing with her hair, and she played with the edge of his tunic.
"I was, home," she started, and he looked down at her curiously. "I was married, which I never would have imagined just a year ago or even before now, and I had a baby on the way, a girl. I was happy and I was home."
"Oh. How did you know you were pregnant?" he asked her, and she sighed.
"I know the guards think I can't get pregnant, and I wouldn't be surprised or offended if you thought the same thing, but I actually am fertile. It's something to do with the enhancements I received in the Red Room, but I never really understood it. I think one of the functions of the serum was to make it so I could get pregnant and be able to get pregnant young, but only under certain conditions so I wouldn't get pregnant unless it was decided I should be used for their version of breeding. They wanted a better, stronger, faster agent that they believed could only be the biological child of two of their strongest agents. If I would be deemed worthy, I think I would be taken away from the base for a year or so to a safe house with the agent I would be paired up with so that I could get pregnant and have a kid that would be given to the Red Room to serve the country. If I wasn't, I would undergo their graduation ceremony where they would sterilize the girls. Clint took me away before that was brought up, but I think I was going to be sent away with a man because my last mission briefing took place with one of the higher up agents watching who normally wasn't involved in my work, but who had been involved in my, punishments, at least once on his own. Because I was so young when I met Clint, I never actually found out what they did to my cycle, but I get periods regularly until I'm supposed to go on a mission or I'm in a situation like right now. I haven't had a period since just before I arrived in Asgard," she said, pausing to gauge his reaction before continuing. "I knew I was pregnant because I kept hearing the word children, and my husband would ask how 'she' is while resting his hand over my stomach area. I guess it was really more instinct than anything else, but I just knew."
"Oh," Loki said thoughtfully, holding her closer. "Who was your husband?"
"I couldn't tell," Natasha lied smoothly, hoping he wouldn't call her out on it. "He did like to spoil me though, and I could tell he loved me and I loved him."
"Sounds like the kind of guy you deserve," he told her, not realizing that she had meant him. He was kind of sad that she hadn't said it was him, but knew he likely didn't deserve someone like her after everything he's done, and while he would love to have a child he could raise, he had children of his own already and wouldn't push his luck trying to have more with her.
"I guess he is," she said absentmindedly, still playing with his tunic. The image of her and Loki together had burned itself into her mind, and she didn't think she wanted to get rid of it. While it wasn't in the cards either of them were dealt, it could be a fun fantasy to entertain and help her cope with the long life she had ahead of her.
They were both quiet during dinner, having everything to say but neither having the words to start. They trained together for a while, the runes on Natasha's dress canceling out the negative effects of the collar and magnifying her abilities, until it was almost time for her to leave for the night. Loki helped her change back into the outfit Arnljot makes her wear and carefully hid her gown so she would have it for future use. He took the jewels out of her hair as well, so they wouldn't be taken, and crafted a special box for them and her shoes. The box was an auburn-colored mahogany with a green and gold lily design on the lid, surrounded by fiery red ruby roses. He tucked everything away and then hid the box with her gown so they wouldn't be found unintentionally.
Once that was all done and she was as ready as she'd ever be for Arnljot to come get her, Loki laid back on the bed and pulled Natasha close. He was surprised at how she fit against him, as if that was where she belonged, and he gently brushed her hair behind her shoulder so he could nuzzle her neck. Her breath caught for a moment as she remembered her vision, but she didn't stop him. She just reached up to card her fingers through his hair and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against his chest. She began to feel like this could be her home, and the realization both scared her and comforted her.
"Thank you, Loki," she whispered, just as the wall began to lighten. He murmured something against her neck before reluctantly letting her go, and she quickly kissed his temple before walking to where the wall would open and she would be taken away for the night.
Arnljot was not happy when they got back to Natasha's room. He chained her to the bed and climbed up on top of her, and when he realized Loki had healed her, he was even angrier. Before he could move off her, however, Natasha touched his temple and pushed some subtle magic into his mind to make him forget he had hurt her. She made him think she had been perfectly behaved, and when the magic faded and he smiled at her, she knew it had worked.
"Oh little one, you've been so good for me and the others. You've followed every order perfectly, haven't you?" Arnljot asked, and it was such a contrast to how he normally speaks to her that it almost scared her. Could her magic really be this good?
"Yes master," she said quietly, not wanting to break the spell. He chuckled softly at her.
"I know, little one. That's why I have a surprise for you. Tomorrow night, the king is having a celebration, and I offered to let you go as entertainment for the guests. You'll get a new dress and Misty will come do your hair and makeup. The only thing you'll have to do is put on a little show and strip when I tell you, and then open your legs for whichever men I give you to. If you behave, you'll get to spend an entire night with Silvertongue in his cell, rather than just three hours. Does that sound like a deal?" he asked her, and she blanked for a minute. She could either spend a night doing what he wanted and then get an entire night with Loki, or she could refuse and risk never seeing Loki again. It wasn't really an option.
"Yes, master," she whispered, and he smiled almost drunkenly before kissing her forehead and lying down next to her.
"Good girl. Now, get some sleep. You will be excused from your chores tomorrow to prepare for the party," he said, pulling her against him uncomfortably, and she couldn't help but mentally compare him to Loki. When Loki held her like this, she fit perfectly and it felt right. When Arnljot holds her like this, it feels so wrong that it almost makes her sick.
When she was sure he'd fallen asleep, she touched Arnljot's temple lightly once more and pushed some magic into his dreams. She filled them with images of Audun and him together, happy and in love. She wasn't sure how the vision would be received, but it was worth a shot. A big part of her was telling her that he was bisexual, if not gay, but she couldn't tell for sure and she wasn't sure if Arnljot was really worthy of being with Audun, who was nothing but kind to her. She pictured them together and focused on the image in her mind's eye until her head spun, her vision swam, and she lost all connection to the world around her.
Natasha's vision was more like a scene from that 50 Shades book than anything else. Audun was tied to the bed by what looked like belts while Arnljot was beating him and fucking him senseless. It was almost as bad as what he would do to her, only it looked more natural and that scared her. Audun was crying and the sight of it broke her heart. She couldn't let this vision come true. No one deserved to go through that.
When the vision faded and she opened her eyes, she had expected to be in Loki's arms with him brushing her hair while he waited for her. Instead, she was pressed against Arnljot's chest, inhaling his nasty body odor as he slept soundly. She stopped herself from gagging and a feeling of utter wrongness washed over her that made her want to cry. She missed her family and her friends on Midgard, but the strange part was she also missed Loki. A year ago she would have thought that would be impossible, and yet here she was, a sex slave for the guards in the palace of Asgard, lying in bed with the man who makes her call him Master, wishing she was with the God locked in the dungeons below her.
When she finally fell asleep, she dreamt of her vision from earlier, with Loki as her husband and a daughter on the way, both of them freed from their prisons and ruling Asgard.
So, a bit of fluffy stuff, and a bit of painful stuff, and maybe a little foreshadowing? What's going to happen at the party, do you think?
Remember, three "Yes" reviews and you get the next chapter! Then you'll get to see what happens at the party! And I may consider updating early again if you can name all of the movies I took dialogue from to use as a "cameo" even though I don't think dialogue really counts.
Snowflakes of love and fun to you all! ~Des
