Lar'ja regarded his brother angrily, mandibles open, and demanded, "What would I do? She is a storyteller!"

"A storyteller that possesses a weapon and desire to use it, yes."

Snarling in anger, Lar'ja stormed from the room and I heard him take the stairs to the basement heavily. I winced, then looked to Luar'ke-de. He stared at me, eyes narrow, and was obviously waiting for something, but all I had were questions, "What's really going on here? I understand you were hunting those four bottom-feeders out there, but why are you here? Surely you didn't know Lar'ja was here. Or did you?"

He gave the barest shrug, "Yautja equipment have an energy pattern different from ooman. Consistently more here than should be, so thought to check."

"A starting point?"

He gave a deep nod, "Originally thought Lar'ja-thwei was one I was hunting. Surprised to see my brother instead! Am… very angry that he is blind, but has adapted well. His grievance takes precedence over my anger. As you have said, he was wronged. Not I. Will forgive the shovel because you have cared for Lar'ja-thwei well. He is fond of you. Do not do again, though."

His golden eyes pinned me with a gaze that promised pain should I ever think to take a shovel to his head again. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't stop the grin, "I won't, I promise, but I can't help but feel sort proud of myself."

Rolling his eyes, he huffed, "Do not. Had I truly been hostile, there were many different ways at many different times that I could have ended you, shovel or no. You should know this. Ka'vin'tek, Ve'rin, Yr'yin, and Mah'te will not be kind. Foolish to assume that all are as… noble as Lar'ja-thwei."

I slouched, disheartened. This totally sucked. What was I supposed to tell my mother?

"Hey, Ma. Just letting you know I'm dying."

"What is it this time?"

"Remember Edward the Longfang? Well, he knows these guys who want to kill us all."

"Oh, God… Jess… You and that imagination."

Yeah. That'd work. Sighing again, I looked at Luar'ke-de, "Well, you don't really seem so bad… You've been nice to me, anyway... For the most part."

He smirked and leaned forward, eyes narrow, "Owe you for care of Lar'ja-thwei. Know this; takes a certain kind to hunt others of their own race and oomans became boring for me many, many of your years ago. No. More. Shovel."

I blinked and nodded, but something morbid in me had me grinning again and I watched his head tilt in curiosity, "What am I allowed to use? Rake? Hoe? Hammer? Gasoline and a match?"

Eyebrow ridge raised, he stared at me for a moment before laughing, narrow-eyed, and somehow sadistically satisfied, "Think Lar'ja-thwei underestimates your willingness to do what you must to survive. Perhaps worthier than I thought."

I didn't know what disturbed me more; that he obviously knew what those items were or that he knew they could be used lethally under the right circumstance. Maybe I didn't want to know.

"Worthy for what?"

He just grinned and settled back into the recliner, the look on his face now that of content pleasure and I knew he wasn't going to answer me. I sighed, but almost laughed when he closed his eyes and started purring quietly, a minute smile pulling his mandibles.

"Hey, you see that lever on the left side? Yeah, pull it toward you."

The foot rest swung out and Luar'ke-de trilled in interest, grinning, "Oomans not so bad after all! May want to go find Lar'ja-thwei. I will be here."

Then he settled in, hands folded at his stomach, and closed his eyes again.


Go find, Lar'ja? Not hard. He certainly made enough noise leaving. I made my way down to the basement with every intention of telling him to grow up (even though he was about a century older than I was) only to find him sitting on the floor, back to the wall, with his head lowered and his forearms resting on his raised knees. I changed my mind then and there. I didn't think he could handle tough love at the moment.

I walked over to him and was about to sit next to him, when I found myself being pulled into his lap with a startled, "Oh!"

At least I didn't squeak this time.

He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close, with his face buried in my hair. For once, he was completely silent. No purrs, no clicks, I hardly even heard him breathe. It made me incredibly sad. Turning my upper body toward him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he sighed, tucking his face against the side of my neck.

"Am sorry about your headphones."

"No big deal, just… you know. Ask next time. But I want to know what really has you upset and I don't think it's the honor issue."

He pulled back, large hands on my shoulders, and gave me a slight shake. He frowned, "Do not want you hurt. Gave my word. Means much to me. But… No. Not all. What would I do? Where would I go? If you are killed… Honor… Would be meaningless. Can not see. All is dark. But you… you became my light. Gave purpose. Guided when I faltered. Able to hunt now only because of you. Would have given up. Ended my life. Owe you much and cannot repay even some if you die."

I don't think I'd ever been quite so flattered. No one had ever said that I was their light before and I felt all warm inside. It was nice knowing that I made a real difference to someone. That it was someone I cared about simply made it all the better, "I have to be able to defend myself, though. And what do you mean, 'where would you go'? Wouldn't you leave with your brother? Go back to your people? I sort of thought you'd be leaving with him anyway. Wouldn't you?"

"Go nowhere without you, Baby Jess. They would not have helped me as you have. Would not understand. Half will think me weak because of my eyes, the other would seek to use. Only you see me. Only you care. Trust you, Baby Jess. But now, must deal with a Queen as well as Bad Bloods. Do not know what to do. Want you safe. Want you strong. If I give you a weapon, you are fair game to the Yautja. If I do not, you become prey to the kainde amedha. Cannot be everywhere and would be foolish to depend on Luar'ke-de to help guard."

"I appreciate your concern, but Luar'ke-de was right. You can't be near me constantly, and Lar'ja... as much as I would love for you to stay here indefinitely, it wouldn't be safe. You have to know that. Assuming everything works out well, all of this will undoubtedly spark the attention of my government. I don't want you in a lab somewhere and I wouldn't be able to keep you safe. Plus, you live a lot longer than I will. In only fifty to seventy years, I'll be old or dead. Then what? I won't be able to help you anymore. I am going to die long before you will. Let me decide how I get there, ok?"

His mandibles pulled into a Cheshire grin and it had all the look of someone who knows something that you don't and would probably want to. He'd started back up with the clicking and damned if he didn't look like the cat that ate the canary.

"Baby Jess, said that you would not die alone. Means that you cannot leave me to die alone either. Will just have to come with when I leave!"

Just like that, he was cheerful again. I laughed and shook my head, "And just never die, right? How lovely."

His grin widened and he purred, "There is a way for you to live as long, Baby Jess. Just one way."

"Uh-huh. Sure thing. And while you're off hunting and entertaining Yautja ladies for hundreds of years, I'll be doing what?"

"No worries. Will not be alone. Won't allow."

"Ri~ight. Is this going to be one of your 'surprises'? Are there other humans among the Yautja? Or am I to be an exotic pet?" I grinned.

"Happens. But not for you." He said, reaching up and lightly traced my face with one hand. At first I thought it was like the hug, simply his strange need for touch, but then I realized that he was "seeing" me. This was reinforced when he snorted in disgust (while grinning), though he refused to take his hand away. "Ugh… Baby Jess… Why did you not say how ugly you were? Good thing you are entertaining and I am blind…"

My jaw dropped in outrage and his grin widened as far as his mandibles would allow, "You Yautja bastard! I am not ugly! Have I ever called you ugly? No! No I have not!"

He chuckled, "Ahhh, Baby Jess. No lie. Know I am gorgeous. I… Ahh, what phrase? Ah yes! I 'rock your world'."

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything at the moment or I would have choked, "And you say Luar'ke-de is vain!"

"Not bragging if the truth." He said with a sage nod that was ruined by his lopsided grin.

"You're trouble!" I said, trying not to laugh and not really succeeding, "I don't want to sit on your lap anymore. Besides, it's strange sitting in the lap of someone who's only wearing a loincloth."

"Ah! Should have said sooner. Will take it off for you then!"

My eyes went huge when he actually started untying the complex knot that secured the fabric in place while I was still in his lap, "No no! Not necessary! Damn it, man! I said stop!"

He laughed and it was all sin. I hadn't really seen him like this since those four bastards had returned. It was kinda nice, even if it was at my expense, "Baby Jess, cannot tell me you are not curious."

I stuttered, "I- N-no! I am not curious! You lecherous alien!"

Laughing again, he pulled me tight against him and ducked his head, hiding his face against the side of my neck with a low growl, "You sure, Baby Jess?"

I was too busy blushing to answer. He started purring and I shivered, somewhat confused and somewhat something else. It was a relief when the sound of a roar of outrage and a hiss of anger came from upstairs. Pouncer flew down the steps, not pausing because hot on his trail was Luar'ke-de. The Arbitrator, however, did pause. He stared at us and I knew my face had to look like a small sun to his type of vision. While Lar'ja was relaxed, unrepentant, and still held me close, I wanted to shrivel up and blow away.

Luar'ke-de smirked, looked at the trophy wall, glanced back at us and then turned and walked back upstairs, closing the door behind him and forgetting all about Pouncer.

There was silence for a solid moment before I decided to break it, "You're a troubling-making bastard, Lar'ja."

He chuckled, "Don't deny. You love."


I was shaking, tears rolling down my face. I didn't know how much longer the door would last. The creature on the other side roared and screeched, demanding entry, and I knew it would be all over if I let that happen. Again, the alien hit the door with a roar of anger and I trembled, drew air deep into my lungs and-

Laughed. Hysterically.

"Baby Jess! Mean it! No more Mr. Roboto! Bad first time but I let go because it's Baby Jess! But this is number ten! Enough!"

"But I really like it…" Came the quieter, muffled reply of his brother. Lar'ja made a sound of deep disgust.

"H'ulij-bpe!" He replied with feeling before turning back to the door, "Baby Jess!"

"Nothin' doin', Lar'ja!" I grinned, leaning against the door as though that would help. I was in my office and was ignoring the confusing scene in the basement the previous night by tormenting the guy directly responsible. With the speakers hooked up to my laptop, the God-awful song was on repeat as loud as I could make it without damaging the equipment and it only made things better when Luar'ke-de decided it was the greatest song ever. Turned out the only song he liked better was Renegade. Go figure.

"Baby Jess! Will break the door down! I swear this!"

"Lar'ja-thwei! You break this door down and I'll duct tape your mandibles together! And I'll get Luar'ke-de to help!"

"Will, too…" the Arbitrator replied, sounding almost eager.

I heard Lar'ja grumble.

"What was that?" I called with a grin.

"Please! Turn. It. Off!"

I thought about it, but figured I'd teased him enough for one morning. I walked over to the computer, turned the volume down, then shut the program off and I heard Lar'ja mumbled something about Paya. Luar'ke-de laughed and replied in their language but it was nothing that I could catch. Not that I'd understand it anyway.

Going back to the door, I unlocked it, and had it barely open when I was suddenly lifted and tossed over Lar'ja's shoulder, "Ah! What the hell? Lar'ja! Put me down, damn it!"

"Nothin' doin', Baby Jess." He replied and I could hear him grinning.

"Where the hell? Oh no, not the tree again! You are not allowed to hang me upside down!"

He walked through the house and out the back door with Luar'ke-de following close behind with a grin. Lar'ja shook his head, "No tree, Baby Jess. Does this comfort?"

"Uh… Not really. Please put me down!" I was beginning to see where this was going and I didn't like it. Not at all. I struggled, pulled his dreadlocks, anything I could think of, but he never hesitated.

He took the last ten steps at a run and I suddenly found myself airborne ("Oh shiiiit!") for half a second when icy lake water closed over my head. Breaking the surface, I gasped, "COLD! OhmyGod!"

I swam for it, ignoring Luar'ke-de laughing that lion-like laugh of theirs. Lar'ja stood there, arms crossed, with his head tilted so he could hear me swim over his brothers humor. I was so cold and seemingly so far away from shore and after a moment or so was starting to tire. I'd never been a strong swimmer, and in cold, spring-time Lake Superior my abilities were so far from sterling that they might as well have been lead. Damned if I was going to ask for help though. Lar'jas smirk had disappeared, though Luar'ke-de was still grinning and chuckling. I didn't know what they could hear or see, but I doubted it was good.

Finally, I managed to crawl onto the beach and knelt there on the sand, my limbs too heavy to move. Lar'ja knelt next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I was shaking with cold and exertion, and he looked nothing less than concerned. The cold of my skin seemed to worry him, "Baby Jess…"

"Don't worry about it." I said with a grin I knew was feral, "Plenty of songs out there more annoying than Mr. Roboto. You will rue this day, Lar'ja. Rue!" Then I stood shakily, stumbling, and waved off his attempt to help. I made my tired way back to the house, desperately in need of a hot shower, a change of clothes, and some hot chocolate with Kahlua.

Luar'ke-de grinned and as I walked away, heard him say to Lar'ja, "Have your hands full with that one. Good luck to you. Believe you will need it."

"Ahhh… Believe you are right. I think I worry…"

I grinned again. Oh yes, Lar'ja-thwei. So you should. It was on.

But after I got some sleep first.


Lar'ja, I decided, must have been feeling extremely guilty because he had become incredibly solicitous. When I came out of my room, warmer and dry in jeans and my black fleece hoodie, it was to find my book, my spiked hot chocolate, a blanket, and a warm Yautja lap to curl up on ("Only if you want, Baby Jess…"). That was ridiculous. Of course I wanted. His body temp was greater than mine and I still felt chilled. So once again I found myself sitting on his loincloth-clad lap and he insisted I be covered in the blanket while drinking my spiked hot cocoa. It seemed to be the beginning of a trend and I decided not to think on the implications too much. He held me close, purring, his face buried in my short, shoulder-length hair while his hands pet me in a soothing motion. I smirked.

"I am an exotic pet, aren't I?"

"Never." he said, "Never a pet."

"And you want me to leave here with you assuming we all survive?"

"Yes."

"Yet you just threw me into a freezing cold lake."

"… Sorry, Baby Jess. Did not know it was so cold."

"You confuse me. You know that, right?"

"Am also confused."

"Oh good. So neither of us knows what the hell is going on."

He shook his head, "I care. That is enough."


The names of the four Bad Bloods mean nothing. Made them up.

H'ulij-bpe: Crazy

Also, referencing Lar'ja's comment about knowing how to lengthen Jess's lifespan: I found this in the fourth Predator Omnibus. Some Japanese dude lived for a thousand years.

I own nothing ^.^

Happy Reading!