POV:Ahsoka Tano
Beep…beep…beep…
Everything felt heavy. The stupid sound of medical equipment made me want to roll my eyes but I just couldn't be bothered. My thoughts and head were still cloudy and it feels as though I am trying to fight my way through thick fog but to no avail. I lay here listening to my surroundings, sleep tugging desperately at the back of my head, gently trying to coax me back into a comatose state.
I let out a moan, unsure of what exactly had happened that landed me in here again. Everything feels so, so, surreal. I just can't wrap my head around it all in this state of mind. I just wanted to sleep, but I wanted to wake up at the same time. I wanted to see Anakin's sweet face again, but I also just wanted to rest and have him to not constantly have that worried look on his face. I dread the inevitable lecture that awaits me, but right now I don't want to give a single care.
I can vaguely hear voices discussing something next to me, my body just doesn't want to wake up, nor my brain wanted to work. It's getting annoying.
I opened my eyes and I instantly regretted it. The bright lights above me made me instantly close my eyes tightly shut again. I opened my eyes again, slowly this time, and began to adjust them to the light.
My vision was blurry. I could see two figures, a Jedi I couldn't decipher and Anakin. I wanted to reach up and touch his face, but my body just won't cooperate with me.
"Ana-kin…" I hoarsely managed to whisper out.
His head instantly turned towards me.
"hey,' he said softly, dismissing the Jedi and sitting on the edge of the bed.
He reached out and grabbed my hand.
I couldn't feel it, his grasp on my hand I couldn't feel his warmth. Alarmed, adrenaline shot through my system and the medical equipment sped up.
Beep, beep, beep
I shot him a look of fear, staring into his blue eyes as I felt blood rush to my head.
"It's okay, you were put under heavy anaesthetic. The healer said you might not be able to feel much," he said calmly only confusing me more but I quickly let the thought fly over my head, too tired to care, "see?" he continued placing a hand on my stomach.
I still wasn't convinced. Nothing was adding up or making any sense.
I watched intently as Anakin quickly did a sweep of the room before leaning in and kissing my lips. His lips were so soft and warm against my cold lips. I melted under his gentle touch and longed for more as he pulled back.
"See? You could feel that one," he said smiling, looking down at me sympathetically.
I inwardly rolled my eyes.
"Don't give me that look, please," I said clearing my throat, feeling and warmth returning slowly to my legs.
He let out a sigh looking at his boots.
"Ahsoka," he sighed in a sad tone, confusing me more, "What do you last remember?" he asked looking up at me with sad, icy eyes.
My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.
I looked back at him, trying to remember.
Searching through the fog, I found it hard to even come to a conclusion of what was real and what wasn't. I remember blindly following Anakin down to the laboratory examination rooms and then it clicked. I could barely breathe, as tears filled my eyes.
"The lightsabers…" I managed to choke out, bringing my knees to my chest.
Everything came back in a flood of emotions. Every little betrayal, every little thing that had upset me and made me want to jump from a roof before denying myself from dying using the force. Friendships, trust, bonds and ties to people that I loved, all gone with a single snap of the fingers.
POV-Anakin Skywalker
I watched in horror as Ahsoka stared straight ahead, tears and fear filling her eyes. All I could do was sit there and watch as she hugged her legs to her chest and began to rock back and forth. I didn't know what to do. After what had happened in the laboratory everything over the past two days has been flipped on its head.
The healers described that she is suffering from some sort of anxiety. After going through what she has, I expected she would be scarred from it but what she's going through now; I can't even begin to wrap my head around it. Just shy of eighteen years old and she has this upon her. I'm still in shock. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to help her. I love her, I just don't know how to help her or how I'm supposed to support her. It's an internal battle, one that I am not able to witness or fully understand because I'm not her.
I still can't even comprehend what happened during the first twenty-four hours she was in the med-wing.
I was sitting by her bedside holding her hand and we had talked and had a few laughs before she said that she was tired so I left her to rest for an hour or so. At this stage she was going to be under a standard twenty-four hour observation just to make sure that it wasn't anything serious. I went away for a little under an hour to do some paperwork and filled in a report for future reference.
When I came back she was still asleep as I dragged a chair and a chair and sat at her bedside. I gently took her hand and kissed it, admiring the beauty that she possesses. I heard her mumble something incoherent and watched her face curiously as she began to twist her face into a look of pain and distress.
"Ahsoka?" I said allowed, unsure if she would hear me or not.
No answer.
I gulped and my eyes widened as sweat beaded on her forehead and she began to become restless, kicking the sheets off her legs and yanking her hand out of my grasp. I stood up panicking as she began to mumble louder.
'no…no…please no…it's not my fault'
Her whole body twisted and convulsed as if she was trying to fight something off her.
Her cries got louder as I grabbed her shoulders and tried to calm her down but to no avail her, she began to yell.
'Get off me…I don't want to fight you…'
I looked over her face, her eyes were squeezed shut.
I called out her name over and over again, but she wouldn't come to. Then it happened. She had used the force to throw me across the room.
'Anakin!' she cried, 'get…out…please!'
I ignored her plea and ran back over to her.
"Ahsoka, you need to wake up!"
She pushed me away again crying louder, tears falling down her face.
'Get out!'
I slammed my hand against the call button and surely enough three Jedi Healers raced into the room along with a med-droid.
I stared in utter shock as millions of emotions overwhelmed me all at once.
Tears fell from my eyes, my mouth ajar and eyes wide, as I witnessed her small body shaking and convulsing on the medical bed as the healers held her down and injected a sedative into her arm. I was quickly and swiftly lead out of the room as her scream dissipated and her body became still once more.
A couple of hours later it happened again. I was sitting with Obi wan when it happened.
The same scene replayed again right in front of my eyes. Her body convulsing and her cries going unheard and unanswered, pain written on her face. The healers storming in the room and yet again another sedative injected into her system.
'Anakin! Help me…'
Her voice still echoes in my head. I can imagine that she and I will both have some sort of therapy or have to consort with someone about this whole ordeal. Who knows maybe she will never get any better, maybe she will end up inhibited by this plague memories for a long time. I just think though, maybe this was all part of a bigger plan that regardless of Ahsoka being executed or returning to the order or leaving it would have a massive effect on everyone and herself regardless. She would still want to keep fighting regardless but what is happening to her now, I can't even begin to even think what could happen to her. She could be forced to retire or worse she might decide to leave.
And the students who look up to Ashoka so much…we passed them all when I had rushed her into the med-wing. Petro was here too not too long ago. He asked if she was doing any better, just like he had the day before except he was with Katooni. He kept asking all these questions I couldn't answer. Is she going to be okay? What's wrong with her? Is it serious? Will she be teaching our class again soon?
I don't have all the answers to everything but when I do, I promise to keep everyone safe and not lose sight of the bigger picture. There's still a war to win and countless millions of people, counting on the republic to come out victorious.
Dear Ahsoka,
I promise to never stop loving you, no matter what.
And I promise to always be here for you, whatever happens, I'll always come back to you.
Yours truly, Anakin Skywalker
