Dean is freaked out by Castiel's disappearance. He hopes that the guy will come to his senses and come home but Castiel has made some new friends.


Castiel was not in his bed and Kevin wondered if he was with Dean. He got up and padded to the bathroom. The door to Dean's room was slightly ajar. Kevin snuck a peek just to discover that no one was in there.

In the living area it was quiet. Dean and Castiel was nowhere to be seen and Kevin started to wonder. There were no breakfast ready either which was a little disappointing. Kevin made himself a sandwich before he sat down on the couch with a book.

Seconds later the front door slammed shut and Dean came running down the stairs. "CAS! Castiel?" He stopped short when he saw Kevin. "Where is he?"

Kevin furrowed his brows. "Who, Cas? I don't know. Thought he was with you." He'd barely finished the sentence before Dean ran off obviously searching for Castiel.

Back in the main room he threw his hands out. "Where is he?" Dean repeated sending Kevin a puzzled stare. "Where's he hiding?"

Now Kevin started to worry. "I just got up, I have no idea where he is." He looked around. "You know this place better than me. But why would he hide?" He let his eyes meet Dean's and could see that the guy was seriously disturbed. Suddenly he turned on his heels and headed for the sleeping quarters. "Oh, he's probably in Sam's room."

Kevin could not understand why Castiel would be with Sam. After giving it a second thought he figured that if something bad happened between Dean and Cas the angel could possibly go to Sam for advice.

He heard Dean scream to Sam the same words he'd repeated a couple of times already. "Where is he?" Kevin couldn't hear Sam's answer but Castiel was obviously not there either. Dean came back and stared down on the floor. "We have to find him." Dean's hands were clenched into fists. "Get up and help me."


After they'd searched through the whole bunker it became apparent that Castiel was not there. Dean tried to call him but there was no answer. "Okay, lets' go." Dean gestured to Sam to follow him as he headed for the stairs. Sam shifted his gaze between his brother and Kevin. "What about him?"

Dean was already at the door. "Someone has to be here if he comes back. Come on." He went outside leaving the door open. Sam rolled his eyes and looked at Kevin. "Will you be okay?" When the boy nodded slowly Sam started to walk towards the stairs. "Call if... just call if something happens."

As he ascended the stairs Kevin suddenly got up. "I have no phone. Mine is... I don't know where it is." Sam picked out his own phone and threw it across the room. "Take mine. It has Cas' number. Try to call him."

Dean was in the car already and it was clear that he'd called Castiel again without success. He was staring at the screen of his phone with a pained expression on his face. "Sam I... I screwed it up. It's my fault."

After making a quick decision on what direction to take Dean explained what had happened when he called Castiel in the morning. "I didn't mean to... I thought he'd understand."

Sam didn't know what to say. Castiel alone with no angel-mojo could possibly turn out bad. He didn't want to make Dean more worried so he chose not to mention his own concerns. "Maybe he just went for a walk. How long since you called him?"

Dean shrugged a little and sighed heavily. "A couple of hours maybe, I don't know." He gave Sam a quick peek. "I didn't think he'd leave. I tried to explain myself... oh, who am I kidding?" He closed his eyes briefly. "I'm a coward. I couldn't handle this... these feelings, and now..."


Dean had to pull over. He was almost hyperventilating thinking about what could happen to Castiel. The guy didn't know how to be human. He could possibly get himself into all kinds of trouble being on his own. The fact that he could be a target of revenge from a bunch of fallen angels was another concern.

He threw Sam a quick glance. His brother looked so calm and collected that it was annoying. "How can you sit there and not care?" He punched the steering-wheel. "Cas is helpless on his own."

Sam drew his breath and turned towards Dean. He shook his head while he obviously searched for something to say. Eventually he cleared his throat. "I know that he isn't particularly street-smart but he's not helpless." He put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "We'll find him and everything will be fine."

Dean shrugged and pushed Sam's hand away. "Everything will not be fine. Everything will be... be, oh , fuck it Sam. I'm in so much shit." Again he hit the steering-wheel with force. "This is too complicated. I want to get back to the old days. Back when the two of us were a team and we had nobody else to... care about."

"Back to when Castiel was an angel and the profound bond was something of a joke." He thought to himself. Dean knew he'd always had a special connection with Cas. He liked having him around and he sometimes wondered why. He'd pretended to be annoyed when the angel came to close and disregarded small issues like personal space.

Dean had to admit to himself that he already back then had been disturbed by the feelings Cas stirred up in him. He'd bitched about Cas getting in his face because it was seriously embarrassing when the urge to pull the guy even closer hit him.

He turned the ignition key and got the car in gear before he continued. "I want to go back to hunting. Not searching for a former angel with a... with a..." Dean couldn't continue but Sam volunteered to finish the sentence. "...with a serious crush on you."

Sam earned a penetrating stare. "Shut it. I don't want to hear it." Dean felt the urge to punch his brother. He knew perfectly well that Sam was right but talking about it was not an option. "Let's just find him and sort things out." Dean sighed. "I'll deal with whatever comes along later."

He drove down the road and for a half hour none of them were talking. Dean kept his eyes on the side of the road hoping that they would find Castiel quickly.

A buzz from the cellphone startled him and he grabbed it eagerly. "Oh. It's from you." After a flash of disappointment Dean hoped that Kevin could bring some good news. He pressed the answer button. "Yeah? Did he... I mean..."


The minute the Winchester brothers left and the door slammed shut Kevin jumped up and started to explore the bunker. He knew every room in there but he hadn't really got a proper tour of the place. It was massive and he wondered who could have come up with the idea to build something like this.

It was somewhat old-fashioned but must have been upgraded over the years. The fact that they had TV-signals and Wi-Fi was astounding.

He tried to call Cas before he continued his lonely walk around the premises. There were still no answer. Kevin was a little worried but tried to believe that Castiel would come to his senses and come back by himself.

He had no qualms about going into Sam and Dean's rooms and look through their things. Sam's room was kind of plain and boring. A couple of family pictures on the wall was the only thing that separated it from a random motel-room.

Dean's room was a different story. He'd decorated it to fit his personality. The weapons on the wall and the turntable was so him. Kevin sat down on the bed and looked around. There was a framed picture on the desk. Kevin got up and looked at it. He guessed that the lady was Dean's mother and that the little boy was Dean himself.

Kevin knew that the Winchesters lost their mother a long time ago. Looking at the picture he felt a connection to the guys that he'd never felt before. Sam had never really known his mom, but Dean had been old enough to experienced the loss.

Suddenly Kevin felt that he was too intrusive. He hurried out of the room. He realized that he'd seen a part of Dean that the guy did his best to hide.

He called Castiel again as he walked over to the kitchen to get a bite to eat. The angel still didn't pick up and Kevin left the phone on the table before he searched through the fridge and the cupboards for something eatable.

He stared at the jar on the top shelf. Something was off. Dean used it to put loose change and small bills in. It was now empty except for a handwritten note. Kevin picked the note out.

"I needed some money. I will find a way to pay you back. Castiel."

Kevin wondered if the Winchesters needed to know this but after a quick hesitation he found Dean's number and called.

Dean was obviously disappointed when he realized that Kevin didn't bring any good news. The fact that Cas had some money now could make it even harder to find him. "It wasn't much. Maybe fifty... probably less." Kevin knew that Dean tried to tone down these knews on purpose and decided to support him. "He can't get far with fifty bucks. But at least he'll get a bite to eat."


It took about a half hour for Castiel to realize that he'd made a huge mistake. With fourty two dollars and thirty five cents in his pocket and nowhere to go he was so screwed. He sat down on the ground and leaned his back against a traffic sign. He knew he should've turned around but a stubbornness he didn't know he possessed made him search for other options.

Hanging with Dean after it became clear that he wasn't interested in a relationship beyond just being friends was out of the question. Castiel knew he couldn't handle the emotions involved if he had to see Dean all the time. That kiss in the shower had made him want more and for a few hours he felt that he and Dean was on the same page in this.

That was obviously not true. Castiel knew that Dean loved him and that made it even harder. He still didn't understand why Dean was not willing to give it a chance.

His thoughts were cut short when a van skidded into a halt next to him. A woman jumped out and approached him. "Hey! We're kind of lost. Do you know how we can get to I-70?" Her voice was surprisingly masculine and Castiel soon realized that it wasn't a woman after all. The guy lit a cigarette before he lifted his perfectly shaped brows. His long hair was put up in a ponytail and he was obviously wearing make-up.

Castiel shook his head as he slowly got up from the ground. "I don't know. I'm kind of lost also." He'd been around this country so many times but rarely by car so he never had to pay attention to the roads. "Where are you going?"

The guy took a drag from the cigarette before he answered. "We're going to Vegas. You?" Castiel didn't know how to reply to the question. He'd no idea were he was going. He tried to visualize the map in his head and pointed down the road. "I think... If you just continue down there..."

The guy dropped the cigarette-butt and stepped on it. "Do you need a lift?" He was climbing into the van and gestured for Cas to follow. Castiel wasn't sure about this. He'd wanted to get as far away from Dean as possible but now given the chance he hesitated. "I don't know. I... okay."

The guy reached his hand out. "I'm Eric, or Erica if you prefer. You?" Cas shook Eric/Erica's hand. "Ca... I mean... Jim."

Castiel got in and Eric pointed to the driver – a leather clad man with a tired expression on his face. "Ronny." Ronny looked at Cas through the rear view mirror and nodded. "Sorry, I'm tired. Been on the road for ten hours already." The young girl sharing the backseat with Cas smiled. "I'm Elvira. Eric's sister."

Eric turned around to face Cas. "So, what are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere on your own?" He reached his hand out and patted Cas' knee earning a frown from the driver. Cas shrugged. "I... I walked away from..." He hesitated. These people didn't need to know what happened. On the other hand it would be nice to get a strangers point of view so after giving it a second thought he volunteered the whole story leaving all references to angels out of it.


After five hours on the road Dean was about to give up. Kevin had kept calling Castiel and messaged Dean ever so often just to keep the Winchesters updated. Sam had fallen asleep about an hour ago and Dean didn't want to wake him.

He decided to try to call one last time before he turned around and headed back to the bunker. He pressed the call button and startled when he realized that Cas finally answered. "Cas, oh Cas. Where are you? I'm so sorry. We can fix this. I can fix this."

After a few seconds an unfamiliar voice reached his ear. "Cass? There's no Cass here. You must have the wrong number." Dean almost freaked out. If Cas had ditched the phone there was no way to contact him. "Who are you? And why do you have Cas'..." Dean hesitated and wondered for a second. "...Jim's phone."

A scoff came through the line. "Oh, Jim. Okay. Are you Dean?" Dean took a deep breath and confirmed who he was. "Where's Jimmy?"

It took a while before this stranger answered. "Jim is fine. He told me about your wishy-washy behavior and you clearly don't deserve him." Dean could almost hear a smirk through the line. "We're taking him to Vegas to make a man out of him. It's about time..." A commotion in the background cut him off and Dean could hear Cas' voice. "What are you doing with my phone?"

Dean held his breath for what seemed to be an eternity before he managed to compose himself. "Please tell him that I'm sorry. Tell him to come home." Dean hurried to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye when he noticed that Sam had woken up and was watching him curiously.

Dean looked at his brother before he opened the door and hurried out of the car. What he was about to say was not meant for Sam's ears. He slammed the door shut and whispered into the phone: "Tell him I love him and everything will be fine. I... I can't..." Then his phone died and he lost the connection.