Title: Tears Under My Pillow
Author: aquaxeyes
Rating: T, but I drop the "F" bomb a lot in this one
Full Description: Typical story about cheating. Chiba Mamoru and Usagi are envied by every one of their friends for what looks like a match made in heaven. Little do they know that behind their blissful marriage is a disloyal husband and a bitter wife, one who's decided she's had enough.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.


I would like to thank: I wasn't able to respond to you guys personally, but you know I love and appreciate hearing from you. Thanks to svgurl410, rosebudjamie, midnightgale, Eva, neo dreamer, couturedawl, lil miss child, ally0212, Heraldo, serenity11287, Kana07, Serenity Komoshiro, mm, Lady Serpentina, Moonlight Usagi-chan, silvermoon8573, J x Legacy, Jingy5, Eva C, pinkcar, raye85, sousie, SmTwilight, Sakura, Screeching Twilght, anon, skye668, starangel07, PurpleRose44, serenitylovers, midnight blue08, WellITriedSoManyOptions., sailormoon-is-eternal, Meeh-san, starry3y3dangel, I.V.I.E., K.Ly, PriestessHelene, Glazya Yuy, Maralinn, PhantasyDreamer, emma, a.k.a ettie, Jinyo, Leni, Purified Darkness.

Author's Notes: None for today.


Part Eight. Good Start.


Panting, she slammed the door behind her and pressed her back up against it like she had just run away from the scene of a crime. This caused the blonde sitting on the couch to look up from the football game that was on TV and ask, "What happened to you?" Realizing she must've looked like she had committed some sort of sin, she pasted a delicate smile on her face as she tried to figure that out for herself.

She honestly didn't know what happened. She just wanted to tell Usagi exactly what kind of man she was married to, how dishonest and disloyal he really was. She wanted Usagi to realize how blind she was. It wasn't to hurt her necessarily, but she wanted the truth to come out, for Usagi to have a chance to take a look at her marriage and choose to either stay with that adulterous bastard or leave.

That didn't happen. Before she even got the chance to tell her--

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" the blonde asked, interrupting her thoughts.

She stepped away from the door and shook her head, her wavy hair spilling all around her face. "Nothing's the matter," she said, "I need to go to the bathrom." With that, she strutted straight for the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

She flipped the toilet cover down and took a seat and looked down. Her hands were actually shaking. Never in her life had she been this scared. It was like she was running away from a personal demon that was out for her blood and hers only. She felt terrible, guilty, like she should have done something. She should have. Asked if she was all right, checked for a pulse and if she was conscious. At least have called an ambulance.

She hadn't done any of those things. No, like an idiot, she turned and ran. She ran, something she personally believed only cowards would do in a panic. Too scared to help another woman when she was hurt.

A soft knock came from the door, but she ignored it.

"Michiru," the blonde said, opening the door. "Are you all right?"

She stared at her in despair, as if those words were too kind for the kind of person she acted like today. There were a million things she wanted to say all at once, but she finally chewed out, "Am I a bad person, Haruka?" The blonde said nothing, just gave a kind of quizzical look, so she continued. "I feel like my hands are dirty, like I don't have a guilty conscience anymore. That I would sacrifice anything.. anyone.. for you and I."

Haruka blinked once, stepped into the bathroom and leaned back against the bathroom counter, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her pleated khakis. With a patient tone, she asked, "Why don't you tell me what this is about?"

"I went to see Chiba Usagi, to tell her about Mamoru-san."

Haruka's face hardened. "And what did she say?"

Michiru flinched. They had been through the same argument a hundred times. Haruka didn't want Michiru to confront Usagi and tell her about Mamoru's affair. It would bother Usagi, the blonde claimed, but Michiru knew it also bothered her. After all, it wasn't like they had to use Mamoru as their sperm donor candidate. The two had decided to go to the clinic even before he came into the picture. It was because of his willingness that Michiru took advantage.

Michiru should've ended it when she found out he was married. And after that she should've ended it when she realized he was being unfaithful not only with her but with other women. However, Haruka was the one that said no, said that Michiru should finish what she'd started. She would have, too, if not for Mamoru putting an abrupt halt to their plan.

She was angry, but she was also hurt. Hurt that she had sacrificed her body in the hopes of sharing a child with Haruka. There were other alternatives, of course, ones that probably wouldn't have hurt so many people in the process, but Michiru had been too blinded by her dream that the means were just that, the means..

Once Mamoru announced it was over, Michiru couldn't get over it. She couldn't stand the fact that he could have his cake and eat it, too. She wanted him to feel the same utter despair, a dream smashed into microscopic bits.

Haruka's hand on her shoulder brought her back. "Michiru? What did she say?"

Michiru paused. "Nothing. I didn't talk to her."

She could tell Haruka was skeptical, but remained quiet so that should could explain. "I'd just parked my car when I saw her get out of hers. She was on her cell phone, talking to Mamoru-san, I think. I followed her all the way to the stairs when I.." Michiru closed her eyes. "I just lost it. I couldn't tell her, I couldn't ruin her happiness.."

"Then what happened?"

"I think she heard me, because she turned around. I scooted back so she couldn't see me, and when I thought the coast was clear I turned to leave and.."

"And..?"

Michiru's eyes opened, revealing just how disturbed she really was. "I saw a woman knock her down the stairs."

Haruka's eyes widened in shock. "You what?"

"It was an accident!" Michiru bit out, followed by an uncertain, "I think." Quickly, she buried her head in her hands. "It happend too fast. One second she was turning around, the next she was falling. And the woman at the top of the stairs.. She was frightened."

Haruka took Michiru's hands into her own. "Michiru, you didn't leave her, did you? You didn't just run back here without helping her, or making sure she was okay.. right?"

Michiru's eyes watered as she shook her head. "I didn't."

Haruka didn't say anything. A full minute that could've easily passed as forever, and she was still quiet. Michiru turned, cringing.

"Who was she?" Haruka asked.

Michiru had a second to wonder why the blonde asked that of all things. "I might have seen her before. I just can't place a name with her face."

Sound was lost for a long minute. Finally, Michiru felt, rather than saw, Haruka squeeze her hand. "Promise me," the blonde breathed, "you will never go see the Chiba's. Ever."

Michiru nodded, not quite relieved. Haruka may be taking what she did well, but she knew that it was only because she'd said Usagi was on the phone when she fell. Haruka must've assumed that the person on the other line would've figured out what happened and called 911, just like her. If not for that, Michiru wasn't sure that Haruka would've still been standing in the bathroom with her. "I promise."

Haruka stared at Michiru, making sure Michiru could see the determination in her eyes. Ever since Chiba Mamoru slipped into their lives, Michiru had become desperate, a woman groping for the possibility of a child for the both of them. She had her ups and downs, turning sweet and bitter almost in the same breath. She had been reduced to a shameless beggar and Haruka couldn't just tell her to give up. Michiru was trying to follow through for the both of them. The blow of Haruka's sister's early death brought about the insane urgency to have a child, had softened Haruka's heart when she wanted to feel betrayed by Michiru's ambitions.

They went too far. Haruka knew it. This was just more proof of that fact, that Michiru would walk away from an injured person over some sort of subconscious need for revenge against her husband. Again Haruka squeezed Michiru's slender hand. "Please do this for me. I don't want to become them."

Haruka was relieved to see that Michiru's eyes shone in agreement.


Rei smiled sheepishly as she stood and excused herself from the room. Once the door closed the smile was gone and she was picking up the cell phone that so rudely wouldn't shut up.

There was no "hello" or any sort of proper greeting on her part, only, "Yuuichirou, I told you I was going to be in a settlement meeting with a client today!"

She was steamed. Her client's husband was showing the beginnings of defeat. She was so sure he was about to crack when her cell phone blasted Yuuichirou's personal song in her pocket. She smiled then, digging into her pocket with one hand and pressing the ignore button, thinking he'd get it, but he was too damn persistent. He called three more times and by then, everyone was on edge again.

Rei's blood simmered and she heaved a sigh in an effort to cool it. "We were so close to getting the penthouse in Osaka--"

"Usagi-chan's at Tokyo International, Rei, she fell down the--"

Rei snapped the phone shut and turned back. Only when she reached the door back to the room where her client was waiting for her, she breezed past and kept down the hall. As she started to pick up speed, she flipped her phone open again and used speed dial number three. "Yes, Naru-chan? Tell Tomoe-san that I had a family emergency and cancel my two o'clock. I've got to find my best friend.."


Kiyoshi turned his pager off and stepped into the hallway to meet the radiologist assistant who'd just beeped him. The assistant asked him to be ready to receive a patient that had been brought in via ambulance. He really didn't want to respond since he was waiting for Makoto to call him back with an update on Usagi, but he was at work and incoming patients were his priority.

He tried to tell himself that Usagi was okay, that maybe she dropped her cell phone and Makoto found her trying to put it back together as he reached the elevator. But he couldn't shake this feeling that something terrible happened to her. Like clockwork, the elevator bell chimed and open its doors to reveal his huffing assistant. He looked behind her and didn't see anyone laying on a gurney, just a bunch of impatient doctors, nurses and visitors waiting for her to get out. "Where's our patient?" he asked.

"In the next elevator," she said, indicating the doors on the right of the ones she just stepped out of. She thrust a medical chart at him and he immediately began to flip through pages as they stood and waited. "Okay, what have we got?"

"Patient collapsed down a set of stairs, experienced head trauma and a dislocated arm. There are bruises along her side that we've got to check for internal bleeding. It's unlikely, but we need to know quickly so we can find out if we need to recommend an operation, and she needs some stitches on her head."

Kiyoshi didn't catch most of what his assistant said. Once the elevator doors dinged open and spat the gurney holding their patient out, his mind had locked in on Usagi and Usagi only. Lying there on her side, blood streaked in her hair and turning it a weird, copper color. She looked pale and unbelievably fragile. Once his assistant was done talking, he rushed to her side.

"Kiyoshi.." she mumbled, taking his hand.

"Shh," he said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "it's okay Usagi. We're going to scan you for bone fractures or any other abnormalities."

Usagi groaned as Kiyoshi's assistant took over wheeling her to the imaging room. "What happened?"

Kiyoshi shook his head, anger burning in his mind with every step. "I don't know."


Mamoru's palms were actually sweating as he reached the front door of the Black Rose. It wasn't because he was nervous about seeing Usagi. It was about what he was going to say when he saw her angelic face, her beautiful blue eyes filled with a hatred burning solely for him. He was nervous that when he finally laid eyes on her, every word, ever carefully rehearsed apology would fly out of his head and he would say something that would ignite another fight.

'No,' he told himself as he stepped in and walked down the hallway. 'Just find Usako. Say sorry. Just say it, before anything else.' Mind made up, he put more of a decisive sway in his step as he rounded the corner.. and almost jumped back when he almost walked into a woman he was quite familiar with.

"Reika," he said, clearly surprised, "What are you doing here?"

She bit her lip, and Mamoru noticed that she was paler than the moon. "I.. I wanted to see Usagi," she stammered, "I wanted to wish you two a happy anniversary."

Mamoru bit back a sarcastic remark. After all, they were standing in Usagi's restaurant, where all of her regular customers were. It wouldn't do to tell Reika that as his ex-mistress she shouldn't be here. She looked nervous enough anyway, so he made an acknowledging smirk. "Thanks--"

"Mamoru," she interrupted, her voice quivering, "I have to tell you something. I--"

Reika's voice faltered, her eyes widening and her mouth open in a gasp. Mamoru had no idea what was behind him until he turned around and Makoto laid eyes on him. There was a hatred toward him so strong he almost cringed. She strolled toward him, she looked like she was going to punch the daylights out of him, and he had to force himself not to step back. Heavens, the woman was intimidating..

"Makoto-san," he began, clearing his roughened throat, "Is Usako busy?"

"She's not here," Makoto and Reika said at the same time.

Makoto's eyes narrowed dangerously. Mamoru looked from the brunette to the redhead. "What do you mean? How do you know, Reika-san?"

When his questions weren't answered immediately, his eyes flung back and forth between the women. "What's going on?" he demanded angrily. "Where the hell's Usako?"

Something in Makoto broke like an overflooded dam. "Usagi-chan's in the hospital, why the hell don't you know that?!"


Usagi tried not to fidget as one of the interns finished checking to make sure her pupils were dilating properly. "I'm all right, aren't I?" she asked.

"So far everything looks fine, but we'll have to wait until your head x-rays come in."

"I feel fine," she pointed out. She looked up to try and catch the intern's eyes, but this one was tough. She wouldn't be swayed by the typical determined gaze.

"Chiba-san, I know you know how important it is not to base your physical state of being on self-diagnosis. You took a nasty fall down the stairs. You were found with a pool of blood around your head and your arms."

Usagi wanted to huff at that doctor's attitude she recognized all too well. "Look, you've already got my arm in a sling, and I've got plenty of stitches in my head. I think we should call it a day."

The intern didn't respond. Usagi crossed her arms, silently cursing Mamoru for all of this extra attention. If he weren't such a big deal at the hospital, she would've been checked out by now, she was sure.

The sound of a soft chuckle had her craning her neck to see Kiyoshi come in. "Just ignore her. She's not used to civil talk anymore."

"I can tell."

"I wasn't telling you that," Kiyoshi corrected, nodding to the intern, "I was giving Miyu-san a proper warning about you."

Usagi glared. "I wish someone would've warned me about you."

Kiyoshi just laughed in practical agreement. Usagi waited until the intern left and snapped, "Thanks for laughing, Kiyoshi."

He gave her a stern look. "Believe me, I'm only laughing now because you're off that gurney."

Usagi's eyes softened, but she still narrowed them. "This is bullshit. There are people with more serious injuries than mine and here I am being poked and prodded fifteen times over!"

Kiyoshi pulled away from the gash he was inspecting on her head. "In case you've forgotten, you took a less-than-graceful tumble down the stairs. Fourteen steps in total, according to the report--"

"Yes and I'm conscious and responsive. Something my pupils have already attested to--"

"Don't self-diagnose," Kiyoshi said, "That's what I'm here for."

Usagi crossed the arm that was still working properly. "And I thought you were here for support."

"That, too."


Mamoru flew through the hospital doors and rushed to the front desk looking like he'd gone stark raving mad. "Hello--"

"My wife, Chiba Usagi," he choked out, "Is she here?"

His nerves felt frayed all over, and the agitation only grew at the sight of the receptionist calmly typing away at her keyboard. Before he could actually lose it, she said, "Yes, she's in the emergency ward, but I don't know if she's in the triage or majors area."

He was gone before she finished the sentence. But that brief moment of conversation took the adrenaline rush down a notch. Once again, Mamoru was able to think clearly without feeling the need to spring into action. An intern came out of the first entrance in the emergency ward and gave him a half-smile. He did his best to give her the same relaxed albeit weary smile. Seeing her seemed to be just what he needed, for the doctor-calmness washed over him until he was walking at a brisk pace instead of bolting down the halls.

Maybe the thought that Usagi was still in the emnergency department was what made his pulse slow down. If she'd had a serious injury or worse, she would've been in the OR. Mamoru prayed his trail of thought was correct just as he heard a familiar voice.

"This is bullshit. There are people with more serious injuries than mine and here I am being poked and prodded fifteen times over!"

"In case you've forgotten, you took a less-than-graceful tumble down the stairs. Fourteen steps in total, according to the report--"

"Yes and I'm conscious and responsive. Something my pupils have already attested to--"

"Don't self-diagnose. That's what I'm here for."

"And I thought you were here for support."

"That, too."

Mamoru froze once his brain finally recognized the voice that didn't belong to his wife. He stuck his head just barely around the door frame to confirm it with his own eyes. 'Hamada Kiyoshi.. You bastard!'

But before he could stomp in there and tell that flirtatious gigolo to get his hands off of his wife, Usagi grabbed Kiyoshi's wrist. Something petty stabbed Mamoru at the small gesture. He couldn't remember the last time his wife reached for him. "You should clear me right now," Usagi said. "I have a restaurant to run and we are still meeting tonight."

Rage hit him in shockwaves. He almost demanded she explain what that meant but kept silent.

Kiyoshi shook his head. "You are out of your mind if you think you can go back to work."

Usagi smiled, so sweet and genuine. It was like acid in Mamoru's stomach. "Luckily, I'm insane."

"I'm not going to clear you if you plan on going back to work," he warned. "What you need is rest, food and more rest."

"Not an option," Usagi said. "My schedule at the restaurant's too busy. You should feel lucky that I even made time for salsa."

Mamoru's shoulders tightened. The conversation was starting to make sense to him. Usagi may have admitted that she and Kiyoshi hadn't sleep together, but he had been her dance partner, probably at that gym she'd just joined. And judging by the way she hadn't let go of his wrist he was forced to conclude that they had gotten close. Really close.

Kiyoshi looked like he was about to protest, but Usagi added, "I was fine before this and I'll be fine if I can just get out of here."

"Usagi," Kiyoshi said, and Mamoru had a second to be surprised at the intimate way he said her name, "You don't fool me. It's bad enough that you're starving yourself, but now you've got a dislocated shoulder and a stitched-up head to top it off. You need to take it easy."

"Don't think you can force me to do anything, Kiyoshi," Usagi spat, "Like my husband, you're not my keeper."

Mamoru's hands balled into fists at his wife's words. They made him wonder how much she confided in Kiyoshi or if she was always that openly expressive about their marriage.

Kiyoshi shook his head. "We're not having a discussion about your husband. I was merely giving you a suggestion since I'm concerned." Usagi's shoulders slumped in visible relief and she finally let go of the brunette. "Now," he said, free to pull what Mamoru could only assume were his wife's x-rays for examination, "Let's talk about your condition."

"Condition?"

Usagi and Kiyoshi turned to face him, making him realize that choked response had come from him.

Mamoru looked from Kiyoshi's recovering face to the blonde's shocked one and stopped. He had to admit, Usagi looked like hell. She had a bandage clinging to her hair to cover the stitches on the back of her head, a bruise stretched out across her right cheek bone and her right arm in a sling. But worse yet were her sunken eyes, the way her usually soft hair was dull and flat and, like her skin, had lost its glow. Even sitting down he could see Kiyoshi was right, that she was starving herself. The clothes that used to fit just right were just a little too loose.

Actual fear chilled Mamoru's stomach. What was she doing to herself this past week? She looked tired, exhausted, pale and malnourished. And if Kiyoshi was saying something about a condition.. could she be pregnant?

Kiyoshi must've read the question on his face because he said, "Ah, Chiba-san. You've arrived just in time to hear all about your wife's concussion."

Mamoru let the breath he was holding out before stepping into the room. He didn't like Kiyoshi's tone, he almost sounded resentful toward him, but he was more concerned about Usagi than the radiologist. "What happened?"

For the next two minutes Kiyoshi briefed him on what happened, adding to what Mamoru had already overheard. Usagi remained silent, her body language making it obvious that she wasn't happy he was there. When he finished, Kiyoshi revealed the x-rays and the two men took a look.

"There's nothing wrong," Usagi said with just enough tone in her voice to make it sound like a question.

Mamoru opened his mouth to speak, but Kiyoshi beat him to it. "No," the brunette agreed, "You can go home and rest."

Mamoru tried not to flinch at how natural it was for Kiyoshi to answer her as if she had been talking to him. The protective part of him wanted to show Kiyoshi and Usagi both that he was her husband, but with Usagi still beyond upset with him he decided the last thing he should do was get all male on her.

He looked at her again and his eyes fractionally softened. Usagi didn't look weak; she looked defeated. Like somehow she knew that she was going to have to talk to him whether she liked it or not. The fact that she felt she had no choice didn't disturb him, at least she would talk to him. She squirmed under his gaze and so he turned to Kiyoshi. "May I speak with my wife in private?" he asked gently.

For some reason he though Kiyoshi would adamantly refuse to leave Usagi's side, but he just nodded and stepped out of the room. Mamoru saw him give her a sympathetic look while she returned a betrayed one of her own before moving closer to her.

A long moment passed between them, filled with the memory of the last time they'd seen each other, the words they tossed and the hurt and anger. Usagi shifted uncomfortably, then shook her head and looked at him. Into his eyes. He had to suppress a shudder. No matter what he thought he could hide or shield from everyone else, when Usagi looked at him he felt like she could see his soul. "I went to the Black Rose," he said, trying to distract her with words.

She held his eyes for a second longer. "I don't know why," she suddenly said.

"Guilt," he said before he could stop himself. He almost regretted it when her eyes widened, and something beautiful sparked in her eyes. "Usako, we can't leave things the way they are. Sorry might not fix everything between us, but I don't want to give up."

He noticed that her hands had clenched into fists and decided to wait until she said something. Anything.

"It's not just nostalgia, is it, Mamoru-san?" Usagi asked. If he'd known any better, he would've sworn she called him that just to test his temper. But he wouldn't let her win that easily.

"No," he answered. "I'll admit I wanted to see if you would join me for dinner for our anniversary, but I came here to apologize first and foremost."

It was like he was speaking to her in a different language. She didn't register anything he said, only asked, "Then you'll be okay with me going to the gym?"

Mamoru swallowed, but knew this was his only chance to get her to talk to her. He wasn't going to screw it up, not yet. Once they were talking again he could try and convince her to change her mind about Anytime Zen, but for now he would need to get her to give him the time of day. "Whatever makes you happy. Because you make me happy, Usako. Only you."

That last part was drowned by the sound of Rei's shrill voice as she barged into the room, Kiyoshi and Yuuichirou righht behind her. She practically jumped back in surprise at his presence. He could've strangled her for her interruption but immediately her eyes flew to Usagi and was by her side in less that time.

"Usagi!" Rei exclaimed, trying to hug her without hurting her. "Are you alright?"

Mamoru noticed the strain in Usagi's face that talking to him left once Rei pulled away. That gut-twisting feeling he had when Usagi turned to Kiyoshi returned.

"Yes, I am.. but I thought you were in the middle of a settlement?"

"As if that means I should've abandoned you!" Rei said, aghast.

Usagi gave it some thought. "Did you at least get that penthouse in Osaka?"

"Usagi!" she shouted. "You better tell me what happened or I'll give you a purple nurple!"

"Fine!" Usagi said, almost sounding frightened at the threat. "I parked around the restaurant because I planned on staying until close. I made it to the parking lot stairs while talking to Kiyoshi on my cell phone when I must have lost my balance.." Usagi trailed on, visibly trying to search her memory. "I fell," was the only other thing she could certainly say.

Rei's face turned stone cold. "You're a dancer. You don't fall."

"Not true," Usagi argued and motioned at Kiyoshi. "You should see us during practice."

Kiyoshi shook his head. "I'm the one that always messes up. You have more control, more balance."

Usagi tried to process something. "I'm confused. What are you saying, Rei-chan?"

"Someone pushed her."

Everyone turned to Yuuichirou, who said it so adamantly it put a chill in Mamoru's gut. "How can you be so sure?" he heard himself ask.

"Unless Chiba-san walked into a brick wall, the only way she would've gotten caught off-balance was if someone pushed her."

Usagi was quiet. She obviously didn't know what to think of that, and she didn't remember anything to negate Yuuichirou's suspicion.

Mamoru thought the idea was preposterous himself. Usagi had no enemies. She brought happiness to every person she ever met.

The thought hit him so abruptly he almost staggered. What if this 'accident' wasn't to send a message directly to her? What if it--

"Did you see anyone by the parking lot or outside on the street?" Kiyoshi asked.

Yuuichirou shrugged. "I passed a couple of teenagers, a woman in a trench coat and three or four men, but they all looked like they were minding their own business."

Mamoru turned, knowing he couldn't speak up. There was a woman who was wearing a trench coat, hanging around the Black Rose at about the same time the accident happened. His fists clenched. He knew exactly who it was.

The nerve of her to stay and face him. He would never forgive her.


End Part Eight.


( The chapter before the shit hits the fan. Can't wait, can ya? )