CHAPTER 8
The wind blew strongly outside, identified only by the random particles of dust that clung grimly to the dingy glass window. Edge seemed to be growing hotter and muggier these days. Not that the weather was ever comfortable in these parts but now it was worse than normal.
Denzel stared listlessly at the grimy window. Even though his expression was hollow, there was a haunted shadow lingering in the dark depths of his young eyes. He was hiding something from all those around him. Something that he did not want anyone to know because it was too horrible to acknowledge, even to himself. Yet he had no choice.
Marlene stared up at Denzel from the floor, her eyebrows pinched together in a worried frown. She did not understand a lot of things that were happening lately, but she understood that Denzel was silently suffering.
In an effort to alleviate his pain, Marlene did the only thing she could think of.
"Play with me, Denzel. I'm bored." she said lightly, her eyes watching closely for his reaction. Denzel made no move to turn away from the window. Marlene glanced out the window, wondering if something outside held his attention. Nothing. Just the same crumbling view of Edge, the city drastically in need of repairs.
Most of the world was in a similar state.
"Please Denzel!" Marlene tried the whiny voice tactic, "There's nothing else to do! Please play with me?"
"No." Denzel finally spoke. Marlene scooted closer to him, seeing his verbalisation as a breakthrough.
"Why not?"
"I don't wanna play, Marlene."
"Then what do you wanna do?"
The young girl waited eagerly for his answer, but it never came. Her young shoulders slumped in defeat.
"Just... leave me alone Marlene."
The tone that Denzel spoke with was one that Marlene had never heard before. Her concern increased ten-fold. What was wrong with her best friend? How could she help him? Did he miss Cloud? Yes, that was probably it. Even though Denzel had yelled at Cloud to leave, he must regret it now and wish that Cloud was still here. Marlene stood and leant on the chair that Denzel sat on, gently sliding an arm around his shoulders.
"It'll be okay, Denzel. Cloud will come back. You'll see."
The reaction was immediate, violent and unexpected.
Denzel leaped to his feet, shoving Marlene away roughly and glaring at her with clenched fists. Fear lay thickly in his eyes, only thinly masked by anger.
"I never want to see his face again! I don't want him to come back! If he comes back I'll... I'll..." The young boy lifted his head and squared his jaw, "I'll kill him!"
Hot tears splashed down Marlene's face at his words. How could Denzel say such a thing? Cloud was their friend! He was like a father to Denzel! How could Denzel want him dead? She didn't understand. Life was so full of confusions for the young children. Marlene wanted no further part in it.
Her tears only seemed to make Denzel even more angry.
"Don't cry for him Marlene! He's not what you think he is! He's a liar! He lied to us about everything he ever told us! I hate him!"
"Denzel-"
"Just leave me alone! Get away from me!"
Sobbing, Marlene fled the room in search of solace. His fists slackened and his expression returned to the empty one of before. Denzel sank back down onto the chair and stared out the window. It was as though he had not moved at all.
Except for one thing. His arms were wrapped around himself, as though trying to hold his tormented body together.
Tifa looked up in surprise as Marlene hurtled into the room, her tears and sobs making her words indiscernable. Zack too turned away from his work to help calm the young girl. At length, they were able to calm Marlene enough to extract the unfortunate story from her.
Zack frowned and glanced up at the stairs. Tifa crooned to Marlene and rocked her, not knowing what to say to her.
"I'll deal with this, Tifa. You look after Marlene." Zack said and headed for the stairs.
"Okay. Zack? Be gentle with him. He's been through a lot. Cloud was like a father to him and now... I just don't understand why Denzel would reject him."
"I get it. I'll be sensitive."
The young man soon found the room that Denzel was seated in. Zack entered and slowly came to stand by the chair. He said nothing for some time, just letting Denzel acknowledge his presence and grow comfortable with him there. Zack stared out the window then glanced down at Denzel. He realised Denzel was not staring out the window, nor at the glass. He was just staring. Staring at nothing.
"Denzel. Marlene tells us you two got into a fight. You wanna tell me what's going on?" Zack spoke softly, hoping this ambiguous and gentle approach would help convince Denzel to trust him.
The boy said nothing.
"Hey. Could you look at me for a moment please, Denzel?" Zack voice was still gentle, but with a firmer tone to it. Denzel turned his head to stare at Zack. They eyed each other off for a long moment, before Denzel broke the gaze and turned back to his stare at nothing.
That short glance had told Zack all he needed to know. For now, at least.
Zack grabbed another chair at set it beside Denzel's before sitting on it. He gave a soft sigh but said nothing, wondering what to say and where on earth to begin. Denzel was terrified. He needed some reassurance, some proof that the adults were affected by all this, too. Proof that they would be okay. Proof that they would make it out the other side alive.
"Denzel, I know what you're going through." Zack's voice finally broke the long silence. This was a sensitive story that he was about to share, but he knew that Denzel needed to here it. "I went through the same kinda thing once. You know I was a First Class SOLDIER, right? Well, before I was First Class, I had a teacher. A mentor. He was like, my big brother, strong father and my best friend all rolled into one. I loved him and trusted him with my life.
"We went on missions together. He taught me everything I know. About honour, life, love, respect... and freedom. Everything was great. I was learning a lot and was headed for promotion with my mentor there to guide the way for me.
"But something happened to him. To this day, I still don't fully understand it. But he changed. He thought he was a monster. Said he had no reason left to live. I tried to help him. But he wouldn't let me. He attacked me. In the end I had to fight him... it was so hard. I killed him."
Zack's voice was close to cracking with emotion. He hated this subject as his old wounds had never fully healed. Beside him, Denzel shifted.
"So, I know what you're going through, Denzel. I know what it's like to be betrayed by someone you love. Someone very close to you. I know what it's like to have your whole world ripped out from underneath you... and there's nothing you can do about it. I guess that's all I wanted to say. Just that I understand. And if you ever need anything. Anything at all. I'm here. I'll always listen. And I'll do whatever I can to help."
Silence fell over the small room and Zack looked down at Denzel, hoping to see some form of reaction from the young boy. Nothing. Zack hung his head. At least he had tried. He should leave Denzel with his thoughts.
As his muscles tensed to lift himself off the chair, something small thumped into his side. Zack looked down in surprise.
Denzel had dropped his head against Zack's body, allowing himself some comfort from one who understood. His eyes remained fixed on that unfocused spot and he did not reach out for Zack with his arms. Yet he had made the first move. He was accepting Zack's offer.
Zack gently wrapped his arms around the young boy, holding him close as his strong arms constricted, as though to form a protective barrier around the small frame. A small tremor rippled through Denzel's body and Zack held him tighter. Denzel's head drooped slightly.
Something dripped onto Zack's arm. Bending over slightly, he realised Denzel was crying silently. Zack gave a soft murmur and pulled the child onto his lap, tenderly encasing him in love and protection. Denzel's shoulders shook and a small sob forced its way past his lips. He seemed horrified by this, but could do nothing to stop the chain of reaction that it started.
Denzel wailed, unable to hold all the pain back any longer. Zack spoke to him softly, but the words were indiscernable as the boy cried. He buried his head in Zack's chest, seeking warmth and comfort.
"It's okay. I'm here, I'm here."
Zack remained there with Denzel as he cried, allowing the boy to release his pent-up emotions at long last.
Cloud stared up at the house, his eyes narrowed slightly and his mouth drawn into a thin, tight line. He was torn, unsure of what decision to make. Did he dare go knock on that door and walk over that threshold? Was he willing to subject himself to a seemingly calm and gentle interrogation over his recent behaviour? Did he really want to explain everything that had happened? The bar fight? Denzel yelling at him?
No. Cloud wanted nothing more to do with the doctor who so intensely tried to care for him. Their sessions had amounted to nothing more than less money in Cloud's pocket and more questions than he had answers for than when he first came here.
The doctor could do nothing more to help him.
Cloud looked down at the phone clutched in his right hand, his thin fingers curled around it in a strangle-hold, as though the inanimate piece of technology was a life force that had to be controlled. The only life force that Cloud could currently control.
The troubled young man had walked the whole way, on foot, after checking his messages to find that the doctor had attempted to contact him.
"Cloud, it's me. Just wondering why you didn't make the delivery we had scheduled. Hope everything's okay and that you're not under too much pressure. Please get in contact with me soon. I really would like for you to make the delivery."
A simple, veiled message deliberately fabricated in such a way that if Tifa or someone were to come across the message, they would think it was nothing more than a business contact. The shrink had co-operated with Cloud when he requested that the doctor make every effort to ensure that Tifa would not find out.
Seemed there was no real point for that anymore. Tifa knew Cloud's world was falling down around him. He had failed.
Cloud turned to walk away, but hesitated. A part of him was screaming in protest, begging for Cloud to run up to the door, bang it down and beg for help from the one man who had said he could be Cloud's saviour.
But another part of him was sneering, telling him he was better off without that weird shrink anyway. He had survived just fine before that doctor. He would continue to do so without him. That is, if Cloud even chose to stay alive.
He still could not decide: life or death.
Cloud took a hesitant step towards the front door, then stopped, stumbling back a few paces. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself forward again. But once more, he stopped himself and tried to run away.
Frustrated, Cloud swore profusely and struck out at the letterbox next to him.
He crushed it, kicking it off its post and trampling it into the ground. The metal groaned and bent beneath the force of his kicks. Sweat formed on his forehead as he attacked the letterbox. It seemed to be the only thing he could win a fight against these days.
Gasping for breath, Cloud stepped back, more emotionally exhausted than physically. He looked up at the doctor's house one last time.
"Sorry, doc." he muttered, "But I just can't do this anymore. Thanks for nothing."
Turning, the ex-SOLDIER strode away, his strong steps confident and his expression unflinching. None would stop him. Nothing could deter him.
He had made up his mind.
Tifa was in the kitchen, washing up glasses and crockery while watching the scene before her with a softly amused smile on her face. Zack was preparing the bar for the coming night, setting up tables and chairs. Denzel trailed behind Zack, a solemn expression on his young face as he simply followed and watched.
He had become the SOLDIER's shadow, tailing him without complaint, or word for that matter. Zack had grown rather fond of the soft steps of Denzel walking behind him. He felt as though he meant something to the boy. He was important. Zack always felt a twinge of pain when he reminded himself that he was taking over from Cloud's position in Denzel's life, but there was nothing he could do about it. The boy had chosen him, not the other way around.
Marlene sat by the stairs, her chin in one hand as she drew on some paper with the other. She glanced at Denzel and Zack jealously, wishing that Denzel would pay more attention to her. He was still refusing to play, even with his new-found idol. All he wanted to do was follow and watch.
A solid knock sounded on the door, causing all members of the household to look up. Zack was the first to move, adjusting a chair before heading to answer the door. He opened it to behold a welcoming sight.
"Yo! Said you needed a favour?"
Reno stood on the doorstep, his electro-mag rod slung casually over his right shoulder and looking to Zack as though he had posed deliberately in anticipation of the reaction he would gain from whoever opened the door. As usual, his suit shirt was untucked and crumpled, having only recently been picked up off the floor and sniffed suspiciously to ensure it was at least semi-clean. His red hair was somewhat messier than usual, as if to show that he had not cared very much for his appearance when coming here.
All in all, he was the same as he had always been.
"Yeah. Thanks for coming." Zack said and took a step back to let Reno in while almost bumping Denzel in the process. Reno entered with a lazy saunter, allowing his gaze to drift around the bar. The drift ended at Tifa.
"Looking as gorgeous as usual, I see Tifa, yo." Reno said and approached her with a lopsided grin. Tifa gave him a bored expression. She was used to Reno and his not-so-subtle flirting, but was in no mood to deal with it today.
"Cut it out, Reno. You're here for business."
"Am I?"
"Yes. You are. Zack?"
"Right. I got this." Zack said and walked over, opening his mouth to start explaining the situation.
"Say, where's Cloud at, yo?" Reno asked. An awkward silence fell over the room. Marlene stopped drawing. Denzel clenched his fists. Zack sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"That's why I asked you here, Reno. Lemme explain."
Half an hour later, the three adults were seated and Reno had been filled in on everything that had taken place. Marlene had gotten bored and disappeared upstairs, while Denzel had taken to staring at a crack in the floorboards as he sat cross-legged on the floor.
Reno let out a low whistle and shook his head.
"Man. That's some crazy stuff, yo!"
"Which is exactly why I came to you." Zack replied.
"I ain't crazy, yo!" Reno protested. Zack rolled his eyes.
"No, Reno. I didn't mean that. I think that Cloud has been affected by something that happened to him at Shinra. I think it has something to do with Sephiroth."
"That dude's dead, yo." Reno raised an eyebrow, as if challenging Zack to state otherwise.
"Being dead doesn't mean that you immediately cease to have an effect on people! Look, I'm not sure. This stuff is all outta my league. But maybe it's some psychological after-effects of when Cloud killed Sephiroth or something. Maybe it's related to the mako poisoning he received. You know, back when I died."
"That was years ago, yo! How could that still have an effect on him?"
"I don't know! But I know it's all Shinra's fault that this is happening to him! Which is why I want Shinra to fix it!" Zack spoke firmly, glaring at Reno.
Realisation dawned over the red-headed Turk's face. His mouth opened in an 'o' shape and he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms. Slowly his expression changed to a smirk.
"I get it. Just 'cause he brought you back from the dead or whatever it was, you think he can save Cloud from completely losing his mind! I dunno if it'll work, yo. He don't exactly like Cloud. Or Avalanche for that matter. And Cloud was a part of Avalanche. He'll remember that, yo." Reno said non-committantly.
"What? Who brought Zack back from the dead? Who are you talking about?" Tifa asked in confusion.
"I don't care if he remembers that. Good for him! At least he was around to witness it. I had to hear about it second hand!" Zack growled almost threateningly, "But if he can help Cloud, then he's going to!"
"Okay, okay." Reno held his hands up appeasingly and leant forward again. "Suppose I can convince him to help. Or at least try to help. Where's Cloud? How are you gonna get the psycho to him, yo?"
"Don't you worry about that. Just leave that part up to me. I'll figure something out." Zack said firmly. Reno gave a short, dry laugh and stood up as he prepared to leave.
"I hope you do, yo. Strife might not have been SOLDIER material, but he is damn hard to pin down and even harder to kill. Just remember that, yo."
"I'm not interested in killing him."
"Then good luck in pinning him down." Reno walked to the door, "I'll talk to our man, see what I can do. I'll be in touch, yo."
"Thanks Reno. I appreciate it, I really do."
Reno chuckled again, a twinkle gleaming out of his eye.
"Boy. You're never gonna get to have a normal life, are you, yo?"
Zack shrugged.
"Here's to hoping."
The door clicked shut behind Reno and Zack turned back around in his seat, only to be met with a frustrated Tifa.
"Who were you two talking about, Zack? Who do you want to help Cloud? Who is this guy?" she demanded and from her face, Zack knew there was no worming out of it. Besides, she deserved to know.
"Alright. I'll tell you. But you're not going to like it." Zack said before continuing in a soft voice, conscious of Denzel at his feet and not sure of how much the boy knew. He spoke the man's name and Tifa's reaction was instantaneous. She leaped to her feet in horror, moving so fast that her chair clattered noisily as it was flung away and fell on its side. She stared at Zack.
"What? No! It can't be him!" Her expression was horrified, repulsed.
"I told you you wouldn't like it." Zack said with a shake of his head.
"But, he's a monster! How could you ever think of asking for his help?" Tifa was shaking in her anger. She hated this man with a passion.
"Tifa, please calm down! Look, I don't exactly like the guy either. But he saved my life and I'm grateful. If there's any chance that he could help Cloud... We can't pass up the opportunity to find out. It could be the only chance Cloud has left."
With a resigned sigh, Tifa sat in the chair Reno had occupied only minutes ago. She dropped her head into her hands and wondered if they weren't making a very foolish decision.
There was no way around it. Zack was right. This was the only option left to them. They had to try and save Cloud, no matter what. If this worked... She shuddered at the thought of owing that man anything. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.
The two adults sat there silent, neither voicing their concerns anymore. They both knew the other was thinking exactly the same thing. All they could do now was hope that it all turned out alright in the end.
