Disclaimer:
Me: Edward… I assure you this story is funny so do the disclaimer
Edward: Ok, I will. This person doesn't own me or Twilight… even though she wishes she did!
ME: Thank you!
Edward's POV
Great, so now I had to do an embarrassing thing, but if I chose truth I would embarrass Bella to much.
"Dare" I finally decided sighing. Rose smiled evilly and said "Ok, I dare you to let me and Alice give you a makeover so that you can go to the mall and do 5 things there"
I groaned. This would be hell.
I let them lead me upstairs both of them laughing and joking around.
15 minutes later they had finally finished. I didn't look that bad to tell the truth. I was wearing jeans, a super tight black shirt, and a black leather jacket. They had made me put my hair down so that it was hanging down like any bad boy would wear it with my hair in my eyes and some of it hanging back. I had a golden chain on with a big E that was supposed to be Emmett's and a gold watch.
As soon as I came down Emmett and Jasper snickered and Bella gasped.
Her eyes filled with lust that made me think about dressing this way more often.
Damn Edward, you look good- Alice
Wow, maybe I should try that look sometime, it looks awesome… wait, is that my chain?!- Emmett
Haha, Edward will have such a fun time here- Rosalie
Huh, the look fits him… god Edward, Bella's feeling so much lust I might jump Alice now- Jasper
--------------------------- Bella
Huh, maybe the look was turning her on a bit. I smiled at her and took her hand.
"What do you think?" I whispered in her ear.
"Umm… you look… hot" she whispered and I chuckled.
Looks like your turning her on a bit to much huh Eddie- Emmett who else
I rolled my eyes at him and turned back to Rose.
"Ok, let's go" I said and we all got in her car once again. We drove to the mall listening to the song Buttons along the way and surprisingly Bella knew all the lyrics and sang along with Alice and Rose.
We got out and
Rosalie dragged me to K-Mart. I groaned as I imagined what she would make me do there.
"Ok, first you have to go and ask the lady over there where the tampons are" I glared at her as my family started gasping for air while laughing.
I groaned and went to a girl with blonde hair in a uniform.
"Hello" I said tapping on her shoulder. She turned quickly and gasped
Oh my god, he is like so like hot, I can't believe someone like that hot can like even exist!
So this is why they had made me dress like this. To get the girls to flirt with me.
"Yes, how may I help you, we have anything you need" she said and I instantly caught the double meaning behind her words.
"Umm, can you tell me where the isle for the tampons are?" I asked.
TAMPONS!!??? I knew it was to good to be true…ugh why does every hot guy have to be gay!!!???
"Isle 4" she said acidly and walked away.
I went back to my family and they were all laughing.
Edward, you should have felt the anger coming off of her- Jasper
I rolled my eyes and turned to Rosalie.
"Ok, now I want you to go with Bella and Alice to that man and ask him if he has a daughter that's willing to volunteer"
I didn't quite get what that meant but I obeyed quickly.
I took Bella's hand and Alice took my other hand. I went to the man that must have been 38 or something.
"Hello sir… I was wondering if you have a daughter willing to volunteer?" I asked and he looked at me mad
That pig! How dare he ask for my daughter to do something so distasteful! He mentally yelled. It was then that I realized what volunteer meant.
He came up to me and slapped me across the face.
Damn! That hurt! Then he walked away as if nothing happened.
I went back to my family and they were all laughing hysterically. "Ok, now you will go and put these in the bag of that girl with her dad over there" Rose said and handed me a pack of condoms. My eyes widened and I knew that if I could have blushed I would be beer red.
I looked over to see a girl in her 16s with her dad at the checkout. I groaned and walked over and put the pack in her cart and walked away. We all watched quietly as the desk lady checked them out and her father's face went red with anger. He quickly put his credit card away and took her daughter by the ear and left angry.
We all started laughing at that one and I sighed when Rose turned back to me. "Ok, now lets go" she said and we followed walking to the middle fountain of the mall.
"Ok, go stand at the fountain and start yelling 'I'm a pretty ballerina'" to 10 people. I groaned when everyone started laughing.
I walked on top of the fountain and suddenly every girl was staring at me "I'm a pretty ballerina!" I yelled 9 times getting looks of horror and disgust.
Well one more left to go "I'm a pretty ballerina" I yelled again and I suddenly caught lustful thought and when I turned they were coming from a guy. I quickly jumped of and ran to my family who were laughing hysterically. Jasper had just told them what happened. I glared at him which only made him laugh harder.
"Ok, 1 more… why don't we let Bella do the honors?" Rose asked and turned to Bella. I smiled at my angel and she smiled back.
"Ok, come with me" she said and we all followed curiously. We arrived at a karaoke shop and she went in. The place was packed with people and she took a signups sheet and smiled.
We all waited eagerly to what would happen when someone came up to the speakers "Ok, next is Edward Cullen" he said and everyone clapped. I raised my eyebrows at her and she laughed.
I went up to the mike and the music started. I groaned and I saw all my family laughing.
"Hey Mikey you're so fun, you're so fun you blow my mind, hey Mikey, hey hey, hey Mikey" I started to sing.
I can't believe Bella had it in her to embarrass Edward out of all people- Jasper
Oh how I love my little sister- Emmett
I made a good choice in telling Bella, I think she might be fun to live with- Rose
Haha, I knew this would be funny- Alice
---------------------------------------- Bella
Ugh, I didn't know she had it in her either for that matter. I finished singing the song and some people applauded and some just stared.
I ran off and my family followed laughing.
"Ok, I think Bella has finally become an official Cullen… that was awesome!" Emmett yelled high fiving Bella from the front seat of Rose's car. I rolled my eyes and then an idea popped into my head.
"Hey, it's not fair I didn't get to dare anyone… I think I should be able to get one person" I said innocently and Emmett yelled
"Hell yea! Who do you pick Eddie-boy?" Ugh, I hated when he called me that.
"Umm, Jasper truth or dare?" I asked looking innocent.
"Dare" he said confidentially from the waves of innocence that were coming of off me. I smiled evilly and he suddenly frowned.
"Ok, well we have to wait till we get home to do it… Alice do you have everything?" I added turning to the pixie.
She laughed and nodded. I smiled at the worried thought coming from him.
"Mwahahahaha" Jasper suddenly yelled and we all turned to stare at him.
"Sorry, but there's to many evil waves coming of Edward" he said and we all laughed.
We got out of the car and Alice ran up to her room. We all sat down at the couch and I laughed.
"Ok, jasper I dare you to go to the park and yell a phrase of my choice with a costume of my choice" I said and he frowned.
"Alice?" I asked and she came down.
I saw Jaspers face turn to horror as she handed him a Union military suit and we all laughed.
"Ok, you have to wear that and yell 'Union 4evr and Confederates out!'" he glared at me but I just smiled and he proceeded to put it on.
Jasper POV
I could not believe he was making me wear this! Doesn't he know how much the Union sucks and now he's making me yell Confederates sucks???!!!
I heard Edward laughing and I glared his way. I came out with the horrid uniform to the living room. I walked straight to the car and they all followed. We drove to the park that was full of people and I got out.
"Union 4evr and Confederates out" I yelled and everyone turned to stare at me. I kept yelling as I ran around and when I finished I came back to a hysterical family.
"Yeah dude! Union rocks and Confederate sucks!" I guy yelled and came to high five me. I turned to glare at him and he quickly ran away.
That only made everyone laugh harder.
I quickly proceeded to rip of the uniform and I remembered, to late, that I had no clothes under.
Edward quickly covered Bella's eyes and they all laughed. I ran to the house forgetting my family there.
I could not believe I just did that. They are going to hold that against me forever. I ran up to my room and quickly put my clothes on and came back down to find my family.
"Ok, I think it's enough for today and time for the human to sleep" Edward said and we all smiled.
