Hi guys, sorry for the late update, things have been crazy at the moment at work and in my personal life, but it's slowly settling now! Thanks for the kind reviews for the last chapter, and I hope you like this one, and where this is going.


Harley's positivity about the new Gotham lasted a week. In that week, she and Selina continued their nightly outings (though it was getting harder to find stores that hadn't already been looted), Joker and Crane kept their distance, allowing her to try and put her feelings into order, and things generally didn't seem too bad.

Until Harley arrived home that day. She should've known what was about to happen: something felt different in the air as she headed up the stairs to the apartment, but she waved it off as nothing. Tensions had generally been running a little high over the past week, and she thought it was simply that feeling weighing down on her as she moved towards her front door. It was unlocked, slightly ajar, and that's when Harley realised that things were about to get real bad, real fast. She opened it fully (what else could she do?), and saw Selina tied to a chair in the living room. Harley had a brief flashback of waking up to find herself and her friend Sarah tied up, all those months ago, when they were victims of Zsasz's cruel games. But now was not the time for reminiscing, now was the time when she could see five strangers in her own apartment, tearing the place apart while Selina watched helplessly.

Harley reached for her baseball bat, leaning against the wall by the door. Once it was safely in her hands, she cocked her head to one side, speaking to the whole apartment.

"You know, I don't remember leaving the door unlocked. Or asking five people with terrible dress sense to trash the apartment." She looked at Selina, raising an eyebrow. "Why are you tied up? Is this a sex thing?"

"I wish," Selina drawled. "These nice gentleman, and that woman with the terrible perm, say they're here to rob us."

"Shut up!" One of the men yelled, and Harley grinned as the woman ran a hand unconsciously through her hair. "Get the fuck out!" He continued, "This is our place!"

Harley rolled the baseball bat between her hands. "Actually, this is my place."

"Technically it's mine," Selina piped up. "You're behind on rent."

"I told you I'm good for it!"

"I'm just saying, it'd be nice to have a little more money in the place again."

"Get off my back, Selina, you'll only spend it on a new scratching post anyway."

The men and woman looked confused at this sudden diversion, and Harley paused to remember what she was saying. "Where was I? Oh yeah! Get out before I smash your knees down to your ankles." She smiled widely, swinging the bat playfully at her side.

The intruders took a moment to look at each other, then all charged. Harley knocked the first one down, a guy with a hideous goatee beard, and he smashed through the glass coffee table.

"Harley!" Selina groaned. "That was expensive!"

"What do you care?" Harley asked, catching the next man across the head, sending him flying across the room. "You didn't pay for it!"

"It doesn't mean it didn't have value. If you could kill these guys without damaging anything else I'd really appreciate it."

Harley rolled her eyes, kicking out at the woman, who tumbled backwards against the sideboard, knocking over three vases as she did so. Harley heard Selina mutter something angrily, but she was too busy taking down the last two guys to notice. Finally she was done, and the intruders lay groaning on the floor. Or some of them did, a couple might've been dead, but Harley hadn't checked yet. She moved towards Selina, who watched her frostily.

"I'm sorry about the table," Harley said, attempting to untie the mess of knots.

"And the vases?"

"I'm not sorry about those. They were ugly."

"That's true."

Harley gave up on the knots, realising they weren't coming undone that way, and was about to get a knife when she heard the movement by the door. Selina's eyes widened, and Harley turned to see who had arrived. Four men, all armed, all wearing masks. One of the masks was Batman's face, one was Joker, the other two were both Superman.

"Oh good," Selina drawled sarcastically.

"Hey Puddin'," Harley grinned at the one in the Joker mask. "You look different. Kinda fatter, and with weirder hair."

The Joker man and the one with the Batman mask moved closer, raising their guns at her.

"Don't get me wrong," Harley added. "I'm kinda into it."

She didn't get the chance to say much more. The man with the Joker mask smacked her across the head with his gun, and everything went black.


"Harley, Harley, can you hear me?"

Harley blinked, and slowly everything came into focus. Selina was kneeling beside her, and gently helped her into a sitting position. Harley looked around the apartment: ransacked, and missing so many of the things she and Selina had collected over the past few months.

"Fuckers," Harley muttered, raising a hand to her head. It was pounding, and when she took it away there was a little blood on her fingertips.

"It's not bad," Selina reassured, "I checked. You don't need stitches."

Harley nodded. "How much did they take?"

"Everything," Selina sighed. "Everything worth anything. They left most of your stuff." She grinned, and Harley rolled her eyes.

"Hilarious," Harley sighed, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

"It's probably not safe here now."

"No, probably not." Selina took a breath, as if steeling herself for something. "I suppose we could go and stay with Joker?"

"No way," Harley replied, shaking her head despite how much it hurt. "Not after we made such a big deal about being able to look after ourselves. I don't want him to think we're weak."

"Ok."

"I mean it, Selina, no Joker."

"Yeah I understand."

"You've called him already haven't you?"

"Uhuh."

At that moment the door swung open and Joker waltzed inside as if he owned the place. He looked around, an unsurprised expression on his face. "Nice place," he drawled. "Wild party I take it?"

"Shut up," Selina replied, helping Harley to her feet. "Have you got a car?"

"I thought it might be a bit of a squeeze trying to get all three of us on my tricycle."

Selina and Harley both glared at him coldly, and he held up his hands in surrender. "The car is outside."

Selina nodded. "Then let's get moving. I just need to get some things, or whatever is left." She disappeared into her room, leaving Harley and Joker alone. He looked her up and down. Not asking, but then he never needed to.

"I'm fine," Harley replied. "I need to get my stuff." She turned and headed to her room. As she expected, it was completely trashed. She picked up her biggest bag, and flung in whatever clothes were left, and the make-up (which they thankfully hadn't stolen). She looked at herself in the mirror, and took a few moments to tidy her face: scraping her hair into a high ponytail, and reapplying her make up. Then Harley opened her wardrobe and reached up to the top shelf. The photo album containing the pictures of her and her mother were still here, so they went in the bag too. As she pulled the book out, a number of pieces of paper fell onto the floor. Harley looked down. They were the sketches Joker drew of her back when he was her patient. The ones where he had made her look so beautiful doing the most everyday of tasks. She found herself staring at them, then reached down, picking up a drawing of her during a therapy session. She looked at it carefully: there was so much detail in this delicate, beautiful pencil drawing. How long had it taken him? Hours? Down in that cell all alone.

"Why did you keep them?"

Harley jumped a little as Joker spoke, not realising he had been standing in the doorway. She shook her head, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I was cruel."

"You've always been cruel."

"Not to you."

"No, not to me. Not at first."

"So why did you keep them?" He repeated. But they were interrupted by Selina's voice.

"Are you ready, Harley?"

Harley zipped up her bag. "Yeah, let's go." She put the drawing down on the dressing table, then walked past Joker back into the living room.


"What do you mean Batman's gone?" Harley asked, putting down her drink. She and Selina were sitting at the bar in Joker's club, and Selina had just informed Harley of the rumor she had heard.

Selina shrugged. "That's all I know. Everyone's talking about it though: it's definitely something to do with Bane. They're saying he's taken him somewhere."

"Where?"

"I don't know, but nowhere good."

Harley's mind was racing. Ok, she and Bruce hadn't exactly left things on good terms, but she didn't want him to be hurt. Where would Bane have taken him? Who knew? She'd never get close enough to Bane to figure it out. Harley sighed, finishing her drink. She looked to the man behind the bar, Steven was it? She thought that might've been his name, but she'd not exactly been paying attention.

"Hey," she began, holding up her glass, but he ignored her. He was busy, the bar was bustling tonight.

"I don't think we're gonna get served any time soon," Selina grumbled.

Harley got to her feet, sitting on top of the bar, then swung her legs over to drop down on the other side. "Same again?" She asked Selina. Her friend grinned, holding out her glass, which Harley refilled.

"You're not supposed to be back here," Steven called over.

Harley gave him her coldest stare, didn't he know who she was? She was not in the mood for being told no. Surprisingly, he turned away, letting her get on with what she was doing. She passed Selina her drink, then poured one of her own.

"Hey, can I get a beer?" There was a man looking over, waving a twenty in her direction.

Harley shrugged, taking the money and putting it down her top. She passed him a beer.

"My change?" He asked.

"Sorry, no change in here," Harley replied, showing him her cleavage. "Maybe try again later."

The man looked a little confused, but disappeared back into the depths of the club. "I could get used to this," Harley grinned, moving to serve the next customer.


Selina had gone upstairs to sleep, but Harley was buzzing too much. She'd been behind the bar for several hours, had a bra full of money, and had helped herself to more than a few cocktails. At this precise moment she was sitting on the back counter by the cash register, sipping a cosmo and trying to explain to Steven that it was totally ok for a man to get his back waxed.

"I mean, seriously, it's not weird," she continued.

"I know that, I just don't want to."

"Ok Steve, can I call you Steve?"

"My name is Josh."

"Steve, I'm gonna say this as your friend-"

"We're not friends-"

"-as your friend, your back is way too hairy to be appealing. Like, to anyone."

"I really don't care about that."

"Don't you worry you'll be with a woman and she'll get her hands tangled up in that mess? I mean you literally look like a bear from behind."

"I think you're exaggerating-"

"No, I mean I have a pet bear, and I thought you were him."

"I don't care what women think about my back."

Harley's eyes widened. "Oh, I understand."

"No, I don't mean-"

"Message received. I know a few guys who are single, and one of them has really low standards, maybe he won't care about the back hair?"

"Having fun?" A voice she knew too well. Harley looked up, Joker was sitting at the bar, his cold eyes surveying her, a slight smile on his lips.

"You know it," Harley replied, sipping her drink once more.

"I hear you've been making a little pocket money?"

Harley threw a sideways look at Steve. "Snitch," she muttered, grinning. "You're off my Christmas list, Steve."

"It's still Josh."

Harley waved away his response, hopping off the counter, moving towards Joker. They were still separated by the bar. She pulled her shirt to one side, revealing her bra, bulging with notes. His eyes flicked down, and she allowed him only a couple of seconds before she covered herself back up.

"Just a few bucks," she grinned. "Mama needs some new shoes."

"Uhuh."

Harley smiled more widely, helping herself to another drink.

"So you work here now?" Joker asked, eyes never leaving her.

"I guess so."

"Funny, I don't remember your interview."

"Oh I was very good, don't worry."

"I'll bet."

"Steve thinks I'm doing a great job."

"Who's Steve?"

Harley ignored him, leaning a little closer, both elbows on the bar. "Do you hate it?"

Joker raised an eyebrow. "Hate what?"

"Hate me being here? Close enough to touch, but you can't."

Why are you talking to him like that? This is stupid.

He broke me, a little taunting can't hurt.

It can. He's dangerous.

Joker didn't smile, but his tone was still relatively relaxed. "Awfully confident now, aren't we?"

Harley grinned. "I've earned it. You put me through hell for six months."

"And I'd love to make it up to you, if you tell me how."

"It's more fun to play with you like this."

"I can think of better ways to play."

"I bet you can." Harley moved back, turning to face Steve. "I'm knocking off for the night, sweetie. See you tomorrow."

"You're coming back?" He looked positively disgusted, but Harley simply blew him a kiss, before turning back to Joker.

"I like him," she mouthed, sitting on the bar, swinging her legs over, and dropping down onto the other side.

"Harley."

She turned, "Hmm?"

Joker held out his hand. Harley rolled her eyes, moving closer. She reached into her top, pulling a handful of still warm bills from her cleavage. His eyes never left her own. She handed him the money, then turned to leave.

"That's not all of it."

"Yes it is," Harley lied, not looking back, a smile playing on her lips.


Joker had given Selina and Harley the spare room. Selina was already asleep, so Harley quietly tiptoed into the dark room. She grabbed her wash things, and slipped out again, making her way towards the large bathroom. Joker was in the kitchen now, how had she not heard him come in? He was like a goddamn ninja! He watched her walk towards the bathroom, stepping out to block her path. Harley cocked her head to one side, raising an eyebrow but saying nothing.

What do you want?

Without a word he slipped his hand into her bra, gently taking hold of the rest of the money, skimming one finger across her nipple, before withdrawing. He grinned, stepping aside, the notes clutched in his fist. Harley tried to act like her heart wasn't racing, continuing on towards the bathroom as if nothing had happened. But the second that door was closed, Harley slid down onto the floor, hating herself for how much she had enjoyed the feel of his hand on her skin once more.


Selina and Harley were at a party. Harley had no idea whose party it was, only that she doubted very much that the house they were in was actually owned by the host, because the whole event seemed to revolve around the destruction of the property. Each room was being trashed, items were being stolen, and alcohol seemed to be soaking into the carpet and furniture of every room. The music blasted out, and Harley watched almost lazily as two women had sex on the coffee table. She wasn't entirely sure the one on the bottom was still conscious.

"Well, isn't this delightful?"

Harley turned at Crane's voice. He eyed the women with disdain, then looked around the room.

"What are you doing here?" Harley asked. "This isn't your kind of party."

"Evidently not."

"Are you here to talk to me?"

Crane paused. "No. I get the feeling that ship has sailed. I'm here for Bane."

Harley's eyes widened. "Bane? He's here?"

"No, but one of his people is. I've heard a whisper that Bane is looking for me. I want to find out why."

"Do you need any help?"

Crane shook his head. "No, I'll be fine." He looked at her for a moment, a hint of a smile on his lips. "You look very nice."

Harley looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "Thanks." She took a breath. "I'm sorry. For…you know."

Crane nodded. "I know."

"You were wrong to lie to me."

"I know that too." He smiled. "It was fun though."

"Lying to me?"

"What came as a result of it."

Harley had to smile too. "Yeah, it was."

"I have to go."

She nodded. "I'll see you around?" It was a question more than a statement, for some reason she hated the idea of leaving it like this.

Crane nodded. "I'm sure." He left the room, heading towards the stairs.

"What did he want?" Selina seemed to appear as if from nowhere. "One of your crazy, narcissistic exes is enough for me."

"Says he's looking for Bane. Or rather, Bane's looking for him."

"Why?"

Harley shrugged. "No idea. But I doubt it's good."

"You want to follow him?"

"Yes, but I can't. He doesn't want my help, and I'd rather avoid as much drama as possible, especially after last night."

"What happened last night?" Selina asked, her voice dripping with curiosity.

Harley sighed, "Nothing really, but I just realised how not-over Joker I really am."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

Harley raised an eyebrow. "You hate him, remember?"

"Oh I remember, and I still do. But you don't, and I love you."

"I should hate him for all that he put me through, yet somehow he still feels like the good guy. For all his asshole-ness, he was trying to protect me. In his own fucked-up way, of course."

"So why don't you get back with him?"

"Because I know there was a part of him that needed the excuse to kick me out: he was too scared about what we were becoming. I'm terrified he'll do it again. I don't know if I could survive getting my heart ripped out twice."

Selina paused, taking a sip of her drink. Her eyes flicked to the door Crane had disappeared through. "How did he take it?"

"He knew already really. No great surprise for him."

"I bet it still hurt though."

"Ok thanks, Selina, that's just what I need to hear."

Selina smiled, "Sorry Harls. Ok, no more men, not tonight, let's just try to enjoy ourselves."


Selina and Harley explored the house, and spent the next few hours trying to enjoy the party. Something, however, just didn't feel right, and Harley knew her friend felt it too. People were laughing, partying, but it was almost forced: like they were trying to prove something. Like they felt they had to be like this because Bane expected them to.

Upstairs, Selina and Harley wandered into the master bedroom at the same moment a man and a woman were dragged out from under the bed. They were yelling, fighting to free themselves. They looked in their late thirties, and were well dressed. Harley recognised them immediately as the couple from the pictures on the walls. They owned the house. She and Selina watched, open mouthed, as the couple were wrenched from under the bed, dragged down the stairs, and dumped out in the street. They got to their feet, tears streaming down the woman's cheeks, and stumbled away into the night.

"This was their house," Harley breathed, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach.

"I guess it's everyone's house now…thanks to Bane," Selina muttered.

Harley shook her head. "I don't like this."

"Me neither."

"Let's get out of here."


When Harley and Selina arrived back at Joker's apartment, they were surprised to find Joker and Crane both sitting on the couch. They looked deep in conversation.

"I thought your treatment was over?" Harley asked, looking at Joker. Jonny had let slip that Joker wouldn't need any more treatments from Crane: the Titan was completely out of his system. Joker didn't seem surprised that she knew, though he did throw a frustrated look at the closed door behind her, where Jonny stood in his usual spot outside the front door.

"I really need to have Jonny killed," he muttered.

"Is it over or not?" Harley persisted.

"It is."

"Just decided to keep up the friendship?"

Crane scoffed. "Hardly. I came because I have information."

"What information?" Selina asked, crossing her arms.

"Bane wants me to be the judge at some rudimentary court he is holding. He wants me to pass judgement on, and sentence, those he deems criminal."

"Sounds right up your alley," Selina drawled.

"Are you going to do it?" Harley asked.

"Bane is not one to be denied." Crane glanced at Joker, then continued. "I came here because having me working for Bane could be beneficial: I may learn things about him, about his plans, that could be useful to us."

"Us? Are we all friends now?" Harley asked.

Joker got to his feet. "What Bane's planning, it doesn't have a happy ending. I may enjoy chaos, but I don't enjoy being dead, so we need to stop this. But we can't do it alone, we're going to have to work together." He paused, looking at both Harley and Selina. "All of us."

"Can't wait," Selina muttered sarcastically.

"Ok, what do we need to do?" Harley asked.

"We need to find out where the bomb is, need to find out who the trigger man is, and we need to kill Bane." Joker looked at Selina. "For that we need weapons, you think you can steal us up some of those, cat lady?"

Selina rolled her eyes. "Love to."

"I'm going to start putting some of my toxin together," Crane began. "Could be useful in a fight."

"What do you want me to do?" Harley asked.

Joker smiled, "We can't do this alone. A lot of criminals in this town, and we could use their help. So you, sweetheart, have the most important job of all. You're recruiting."

"Who first?"

Joker just grinned.