I am a horrible human being. I know that I promised y'all some twink! and smut for this chapter, and I really meant to include it, but what I ended up with were revised versions of chapters one and two and an eleven page long chapter eight...so I broke it up into two parts...and the dirty stuff y'all have been waiting ever so patiently for will be uploaded tomorrow... I am so sorry. I promise promise promise that I will have this story updated before midnight (maybe one depending on how long jury duty tomorrow goes) that way you can read all the hot and steamy stuff. Or rather, the start of it. Also, that you so much for your wonderful reviews and messages! They mean the world :) One last thing: When I went to preview the chapters, I noticed that what I had in bold (i.e. author's notes, chapter titles, songs, and the song lyrics) were not actually in bold, and it was very hard to tell that they were in italics. I also went in and re-added lines to break up the story. Please please please let me know if y'all can see bold and italics because f not then I will have to go back and re-edit the chapters to make things easier to read...


Chapter Eight: White Walls

Song: All The World by Kansas

When Castiel opened his eyes, the world was spinning. He tried to lift his head from the splintering floor, but the frigidness from his father had kept him pinned down, coughing up vile and gasping for air. His lungs were burning. He needed water but was too scared to try and drink anything. He kept still for what seemed like an eternity before bracing himself on his hand and knees and standing up to the best of his ability. He used his shirt to clean up the mess of various bodily fluids before going into the bathroom to get cleaned up. He looked at the clock on his bedside table. 10:47 PM. Gabriel was already home. He would have to be careful.

Once inside the bathroom, he locked the door behind him and turned on the shower. As the water heated up, he examined his body in the mirror. His father had done a good job on him- his best work yet. The cigarette burn was glowing red under the bone. That would be tender for a while. He would have to put a bandage over it so that his shirts wouldn't irritate it while at school. His jaw was bruised from where he was kicked. He could say that he fell. No one ever gave him a second glance at school, so they would most likely just shrug it off and keep it as him being clumsy. His ribs were sporting purple and black bruises, five and six inch sections bleeding into each other creating an undiscovered map over the green and yellow memories of the previous week.

Scabs had already formed over the gashed flesh that had reopened from last week's beating. Castiel crinkled his nose at the smell of puss and blood that erupted from the vertical slashes on his left side. That would leave a lovely scar. His chest was swollen and numb, old scars beginning to rise up from the new exposure. Running his hands through his messy raven hair, he stepped into the shower and supported himself against the wall with his stronger arm. He closed his cerulean eyes and let the water rush down over his face, pretending that it was the rain sent by his mother to wash away his father's tainted actions.

His thoughts turned to Dean. It was times like these that he wished he could tell his friend everything, but the last thing he wanted to do was drag him into this madness. Castiel winced as he turned around to let the water hit his back. The hot water had all but run out by now, but he maintained his stature under the pelting ice.

It was almost midnight when he got out of the shower. He dressed quickly and made his way down to the kitchen to find something to eat. He knew that his father was out, but he did not expect to find Gabriel sitting in the living room with a sleeping Sam curled up next to him.

"Gabriel? What happened?" Castiel's heart sunk and his stomach twisted even more when he didn't see Dean. Gabriel looked up at his brother with sympathetic eyes.

"Dean's in the hospital. Mary didn't tell me much, just that he would be there for a while. Asked if I could look after Sam until she got back. I would have woken you up, but Dad left a note saying that you were sleeping and to just tell you in the morning." Castiel was pacing around the room, eyes glued to the floor. In that moment, all of the pain he was experiencing physically went away. His best friend, his friend who he was harboring feelings for, was in the hospital. "Cassie, John ran out on them." Castiel's head shot up.

"He what?"

"You know how when I came out to Dad, how he didn't take it very well?" Castiel remembered. It was the day that their parents were called into school that day in second grade. When Gabriel got home, Cain had told him what happened. Gabriel said that there was nothing wrong with being gay or bi, and came out himself as liking both boys and girls. Cain started yelling at him, throwing a few dishes, nothing too bad. When Castiel was lone with him, that's when the battle-axe was swung again…and again…and again. Cain started beating him, telling him that if he were ever to bring a boy home, as anything more than a friend, or if he were to dare speak of being gay, that he would kill him. That he couldn't handle having two gay sons. Castiel was surprised he wasn't already dead, not from the beatings, but from the one time Cain made him say that he was gay. Instead of being killed, it earned him a broken rib, which was ridden off as a bike accident.

"What does that have to do with Dean?" Gabriel carefully lifted Sam's head off of his lap and placed a throw pillow under it. He took his brother by the hand and moved into the kitchen.

"Sit down, Cassie." Castiel sat down in one of the iron chairs, shifting to get comfortable on the worn out cushion. He sat quietly as Gabriel let out a deep breath. "Apparently John had been nagging him about picking up girls- wanted to give him some advice for 'picking up chicks.' Dean said he wasn't interested, and John kept insisting. Dean snapped and told him that he wasn't interested in girls. John lost it. I don't know if he beat him or if Dean took it out on himself, but he's in ICU for the night. Then he's gonna be moved to…well, I'll let Mary tell you the rest when she gets home tomorrow. The doctors told her to pick up a few of his things. He's gonna be there for a long time, Cassie. It's pretty bad."

"How do you know all of this, Gabriel?"

"Because I heard the yelling. I'm the one who called Mary and told her that she needed to get home. I saw John storm out of the house, knuckles all bloody. God if he hit his kid…. No parent should ever take anything out on their kid." The words came out in hisses as Gabriel's fingers wrapped tightly around the back of one of the retro iron kitchen chairs.

Yeah, thought Castiel. If only you knew….


All the world's forgiving, the change is all around, and people everywhere have seen the light in what they've found. t's a happy place in the human race when all our lives are lived forgiving. All the world's for living when love is what you find. Despair and loneliness, you've got to leave them far behind.

The room was a blinding white due to pristine walls and bleached linens and fluorescent lights about the hospital bed. The smell of chemicals infiltrated his nose every time he took a breath. It took him a minute to register where he was, but the memory of what happened began to replay itself in his head. Dean turned his head to find his mother sleeping in the chair next to the bed. Worry lines had stopped hiding on her face.

Tell the clouds to go let the feeling show- it's great when life is full of living. Everyone's aware- they know to change the world we've got to care, and people all should know…should have happened long ago…. Or could it be that I just now found out?

"…Mom…?" His cracking voice was weak, but Mary woke up as soon as she heard it. She all but jumped out of the chair and wrapped her arms around him, sobbing grossly into his shoulder. Dean hugged her back, unable to hold back his own tears. "I'm so sorry, Mom…."

Life I smeant to share and it means the same thing everywhere.

"Shhh, baby, it's okay. It's okay."

Living everyday, helping people on their way…. Cause sometimes life gives everyone some doubts….

"Dad… Dad, he-"

Can I have some time? Is it right what I feel? At times I doubt what I normally know is real. But right now I don't know what to do and it's all because of you.

"He's gone, Dean. He's gone. You don't have to worry anymore. He's gone and you're safe." She ran her hand through his short hair and pulled back to look at him. The guilt and shame that he felt took over his entire being.

I could tell you if I knew that you'd believe.

"It hurts, Mom…."

As slight and elusive as life sometimes is, right or wrong, as we both know, we all can be.

"I know it does, sweetie. I know it does. Let me go let a doctor know that you're awake." Mary stood up and tried to compose herself, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her oatmeal coloured cardigan. She was halfway to the door when Dean stopped her.

I could never have denied that I need you by my side, cause without you life don't seem that much to me.

"I love you, Mom."

I can see an old man cry, it's his time to die and life no longer gives him any breaks. He hasn't got a home, no one to call his own. Still he tells no one that it is more than he can take.

"I love you too, Dean." When Mary returned, she had a doctor with her. He said his name was Zachariah, and that he would be in charge of Dean while he was in the hospital. He filled Dean in on what happened after his mother found him. He had blacked out from the extensive blood loss and his body went into shock from the pain and the events that had taken place right before. Dean told them that his father didn't touch him, that he just punched the wall and screamed. He didn't dare look down at the damage he did to himself. He was still scared. Zachariah left and Mary went to get some of Dean's things from the house while he rested.

When the time is so unkind, an empty future plays in your mind. When darkness cried out to you, can you escape it? What can you do? All the world's forgetting the hate that filled our hearts. The times of selfish reasoning that keep all apart.

A knock on the door woke him up. A nurse by the name of Hannah had come in to change the dressings on his wounds. Dean kept his eyes closed the entire time, praying that they would just let him sleep. Mary returned and the doctors moved Dean to a different room out of ICU. The walls were still white, and Dean felt like all he needed was a straightjacket to complete his mental health unit visit. He thought that he deserved to be in isolation or something along those lines.

This world was meant to share, let them know you care by making someone's life worth living.

"Dean?" His mother's voice was soft and caring as she peeked her head into the room. "You up for a visitor?" Dean perked up as Castiel shuffled awkwardly into the room. "I have to go check on Sammy, but I'll be back later, okay, sweetie?" He nodded his head and she left, leaving him along with Castiel, who stood against the wall facing the foot of the hospital bed. The beeping of monitors was the only noise between them for a everlasting seconds.

All the world's believing that this feeling's got to stay 'till all the world is living….

"Don't you ever fucking do something like that again!" muttered Castiel as he ran over to Dean's side and threw his arms around him. "Don't you ever make me worry about you like again, Dean Winchester." Dean pulled his best friend down on the bed next to him, unknowingly pressing down on the fresh injuries, but Castiel didn't care. They stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms, crying until they fell asleep. Mary returned to find them cuddled up next to each other, Dean's head on Castiel's shoulder.

All the world is living….

"Oh, boys," she whispered to herself. "I wish that life wouldn't be so hard on you. I wish that you could just be happy...that you never had to know this kind of discrimination….the trials ahead of you..."

All the world is living….


Castiel spent every afternoon with Dean in the hospital. He brought him his homework and played card games with him, kept him up to date on Sam and Gabriel. Cain had apparently went to look for John when he found out what happened with Dean from Gabriel. He hadn't returned either. He had promised Mary that he would find him and talk some sense into him. Castiel knew what that meant, coming from his father, but after what he had done to Dean, he deserved it.

They were in the middle of Star Wars Episode VI when Zachariah came in and told Dean, Mary, and Castiel that Dean would be released at the end of the week. Mary thanked him and Dean made some comment about how getting out of the hospital would be the best birthday present ever.

And it was.