Anakin padme obi-wan brianna and ian stood there waving as the trasport faded from sight the two couples turning wraping in each other as they strode back to the speeders ian fallin in a few steps behind thinking to himself that he envied his family for there happieness he just hadent found any one who caught his intrest not that he hadnt been looking he just found all the women in this area the same boring emtie headed gossip queens not an once of discretion or decorum between them but as soon as he started down that train of thought he caught himself and pulled himself back knowing that being overly criticle was not one of his more redeaming qualities by the time this circular pattern of thought broke they were halfway back th the homestead ian knew he was driving at a pace that could be considerd reckless he found he didnt care the pure speed was lifting away his unshared worries peeling away as he sped ahead on his bike as he came up to the house he sped right past and went riding out in the hills rolling on the power till he was going so fast that he had to close his eyes and drive with the force sensin obsticles hundreds of yards away and still even then having mere seconds to react due to the speeds he was moving at finnally as the effort began to ware on him he slowed and found himself on a cliff over looking the ocean and looking out on the horizion he tried to tell him self to let go of his feelings of lonlyness but the more he stood there the more he realized that he may be alone but he had the strength to cary on he had to there werte too many people depending on him to cary his weight in the fight to come and he wast about to let them down but when the lonlieness hit him like this he felt hopless and helpless and worthless but no matter what he would get the job done he would reach inside thell himself to harden up and stop being a sissy and a cuple of moments later he was good to go again but he would only admit it to himself how dead he felt during these moments of weakness after watching the sea for a while he hoped on the bike and rode home parking out in the shop he started to pull the bike appart after cracking a beer draining it and grabing another he threw himself into striping and rebuilding the bike and downing as much beer as his stomach could hold when he was finally done dawn was breaking and he went in to get coffee and found his sister holding a cup of thte black liquid ``thanks`` he said as downd half the cup of steaming bitter drink in a single swallow

``so whats wrong Ian`` brianne asked as she looked him in the eye noth he said looking down at his coffe not willing to meet her eyes ``come on ian i dont have to be a mind reader to know when your troubled little brother im a good enough big sister to know your mood``

``although i am much happyer than i was wen i was working for the emporer or at home on that backward ass planet and i have a family that loves me and accepts me and the mistakes ive made i still feel alone and although i try very hard to keep my feelings in check when i get to feeling that way it kills me a little and i have tried looking around here but i have yet to find a sutible opertunity``

``ian`` brianna sighs ``i know that eventually you will find happieness and you may not expect the direction`` now drink your coffee and try not to let it get to you as she says this the coffee pot floats over and refills there cups and ian smiles reasuringly even if he still felt dead inside he did not want to worry his sister unnessaceraly

***

as anakin putterd aroun that day after sparing with obi-wan and ian he waen out to the shop to oil the tools and machines he found ians bike surrounded by emtie beer bottles and his tools uncoverd but still everything was in its place he realised that ian was here last night a trend he had noticed developing of late he cleaned up th emties into a neet pile and used the force to send a message asking ian to join him in the shop as ian walked in he spoted the pile of emties and then he saw anakin leaning against his desk his shields instantly went up and although he couldnt explain why he instantly felt like he was on the defensive ``so ian i thought maby you would like to know how coax a bit more power out of this`` thing`` anakin said gestureing at the bike and floatin a glass of local whiskey towards him witch ian caught with the force and placed on the desk

he replied with ``why dont you cut to the chase and ask your questions``

``whoa whoa whoa no need to get like that dude im just concernd thats all man nothing more than that``

``ya well im fine ok so just leav it alone`` and he turned around and walked out of the shop leaving anakin sitting there wondering what the hell had just happend so he did the on thing he could think of he started to meditate

as Ian stormed through the kitchen he grabed a bottle of whiskey brianne passed him in the hall saw the bottle and began to worrie knowing that now was not the time to say any thing she stoped him with a touch he whirld looking at her eyes smouldering with pain she reached out and gave him a hug and whisperd ``please i dont want to lose you again`` released him and continued on down the hall as he stood there all the anger seemed to drain from him he was filled with something he hadent known since he was a boy he was filled with shame so he hung his head and slowly walked to his room sat on his bed holding the bottle staring at it asking it all the questions he had about himself and when it yeilded no answeres he asked it a most important question so important that he asked it aloud ```why should you stay full`` on receving no answere from the glass bottle he removed the top and upended it taking a heavy pull finally stopping and emitting a whezzy cough as half the bottle burnd his throat and turnd his stomach to molten lead and al his thoughts began to blur that was better he thought if i cant focus i cant hurt and drain half of the remainder

as briann worked in kitchen silent tears of worrie ran down her cheeks she was so engrossed in what she was doing that she didnt hear padme come in and when she saw padme stareing at her she was so startled that she amost droped the bowl she had in her hands she quickly whirld back around and trid to hide her teas she said seconds later ``sorry i didnt hear you walk in``

``why were you crying brianne``

``look i dont want to talk about it okay so just leave it hu me'``

``okay but when your ready to talk you know you can trust me right hun``

``ya me' i just i cant right now``

``you sure your all right``

``ya ill be fine just need some time to get my self together ``

``okay then hun you need a hand with the cooking``

``no i should be fine thanks though me'`` padme walks out of the kitchen feeling bewilderd an confused and decided to seek out he husband the one who always seemed to come up with all the answeres

as ian lay on his bed sipping the whiskey just trying to maintain the buzz he had allowed his body to feel he heard his name called in panick and instantly he was sober he had reflexivly reached out with the force to locate the source of the cry and also for his body to clear the alcahol from his system as he fallowed th echo he was running so fast he was on his bike and flying away faster than the speed bike was suposed to be capable of he was pushing the bike so fast he was not only steering with the force but assisting to push the bike near the speed of sound as he got closer he realised that it was jess who had made the call he focused and soon the bike was edging closer and closer to the speed of sound he flew out over the ocean something that this bike wasnt rated for into a storm so ferocias that he had to make holes in the waves as he speed toward the boat his neices and nephwes were taking there ocean sailing course on as he pulled alongside he jumed from the bike to the deck the bike falling into the ocean with an explosion of steam as the ovewrworked mechanicals hit the tropic ocean water as he surveid the deck he located jess she had herself roped to the helm tryin for dear life to keep the bow in the oncoming waves as he strode confidently across the slippery deck she smilled at him and he walked up behind her and took hold of the helm he leand over and shouted over the storm ``are the others okay``

she nodded yes then shouted ``mike tera and james are below decks i was up here with the instructor when the storm came up it started with a rouge wave if i hadent used the force it would have swept me off the dek so i roped my self down told everybody to get below and batton down till the storm passed how did you know to come i shouted your name when the wave hit but there was no way you could have heard me``

he just smiled and said ``you still have much to learn`` he stood behind her and helped her when it got too rough but in all she kept the boat in her control for the duration of the storm after the storm calmed ian tied the wheel down put jess to sleep as he caried her below decks and sent mike up to take the helm got james on a damge assesment and sent tera to check on the wounded he went to the gally and started a pot of coffee poured himself a cup and took one up mike yelling at james as he went by telling him that it was ready ``thanks`` was all mike had to say as he took the cup ian looks as james reapperd this time with a cup of coffee in his hand and a couple of brused classmates in tow they started examining exactly what was broken and what could be repaird and how fast ian walked bellow decks and tera walked up sreched out stealling his cup of coffee said for ``thanks and for the most part we got lucky bumps bruses twelve broken fingers the owners of wich had already made imroviesd splints one broken arm which has been set and casted by yours truly other than that we lost the instructor his second when the wave hit and two puples whose personal belongings have been collected for there familys``

``good job tera cary on`` ian said heading to get himself another cup of coffee crawled up in the hammock beside were he had put jess

***

``dose any one know what the hell just happend`` anakin asked as he came storming in the house after ian had just flown out so fast he hadnt been able to say one word to him

``no but im concernd for brianne`` padme said as she walked around the corner

``well ian just tore outta here faster than aynbody else ive ever seen``as anakin and padme walk toward the kitchen brianna comes out of ians door crying holding an almost emptie bottle she said it was full an hour an half ago when he walked past me in the hall thats when anakin steped forward and said ``the force alows you to clear you body of impurities i saw him leave he had too much purpose to be feeling any kind of effects from the alcahol in fact there is only one other time i have ever seen him with such focused purpose i only hope im wrong``

``what do you mean`` both women asked in near unison

``on our first voyage on the silent hero`` both women looked at him perplexadly then an understanding dawned in padmes eyes and all she could do was collapse on her husband and start to sob

just then obi wan walked round the corner loook at the situationa and said ``whats going on``

anakin looked up and said im not sure yet``

just then brianne pipped up with ``i still dont get what you mean by youv only see'n ian move like that once before``

he takes briannes hand uses a finger to tilt her head so that she is looking him in the eye and dslowly and dilibritly asks ``what is going on here``

``ian was drinking in his room then he ran out and got on his bike and flew out of here so fast no one saw him long enough to say a single word to him`` he pulls his wife close looks at anakin

``you mean on the boat``

anakin noded in response and caried his wife to there bed room and rocks her till she has cried herself out she looked up at him and asked ``if your right how would have he known``

``i dont know honey but if he did it would explain his haste we can only hope that he gets there werever there is in time but if i know him and i should after working and training with him for the last twelve years he will do everything in his power to protect her and the rest of them but especially her``

``why do you say that``

``because she made an impression on him that day out on the water``

``you dont think``

``i dont think he knows it yet but thats whay he hasnt settled on any of the dozens of women from town that have thrown themselves at him wether he knows it or not hes in love with our eighteen year old daughter``

``but hes 12 years older than her``

``so he may never do anything about it because of that but can u think of any one better suited to take care of our little girl i mean he is most cetainly more capable than any of the other young men around here that have called on her``

``yes well i cant argue with that but it will just seem a little odd thats all``

``i know but u cant say anything i mean look at us hun so u must alow things to develope as they will`` she sighs settles into his arms and gently doses off to sleep anakin lays the wraped around his wife thinking of the complcations about to arise

``what about that damn boat is evryone talking about`` brianne asks softly once there friends round the corner

``jess fell over board and ian was over the rail almost before she hit the water``

brianne eyes widen ``how would he know``

``i dont know but all i can say i hope we are wrong untill we know all we can do is sit and wonder``

***

as ian awoke he opened his eyes to see an emptie hammock across from him and note tucked in his pocket he folds it open a full damage report location and heading will be ready for you when you wake sir signed first mate jessica skywalker laughin he gets to his feet walks to the gally gets himself a cup of coffee and walks on deck spots jess with her back to him sneeks up behind her taps her on the shoulder she swings around ready to chew some one out for inturupt her then she saw who it was and before she could utter a sound he said ``a word in private if you please`` they went below deks and again before she could speak he said ``this note of yours is drival i am not the captain thats your job you got this ship through the storm id say that puts the job on your shoulders``

she breaks in with ``but you``

``but me nothing all i did was add some muscle in a few sopts oh and i made coffe gotta have coffee so im just here as an observer so captain i sugget that you get this ship to its destination``

grining she grabs his hand and drages him up on deck and says ``everyone ian here has an anouncement``

``yes well um i understand you all have bin working on the assumtion that i was assuming the roll of captain but in reality that posision falls to this incredible young woman here she kept this ship under control through the storm all i did was add some muscel thats it so if you have any doubts just remember that she is the one to whom you owe your life`` and then he went below to pruse the shipboard library found himself a book garabed a hammock a coffee and started to read

3 days late and more than a little worse for ware the ship glides into port to be greated by anxouse parents and a very aggitated ship owner who at first is furiouse that his ship has been dameged and is thretining to sue the pernts to recover the damages then ian walks up pats him on the shoulder ``you should be glad you got any boat at all if i were you id be kissing the fucking ground those kids walked on``

``and who are you`` the ship owner ask in a snide acusitory voice

thats when ians voice gets low and he says ``im the guy who seen more shit in his sort life than most stupid old ungrateful basterds will see ithere entire exsistanse now apoligize for being a jack ass and let us be on our way understand`` theship owner stamers out an apolagy and every one leaves him to his troubles

``that was great ian`` jess gushes as they were leaving

``ya i just cant beleav the nearv of that guy``

she grabs his arm smiles and says ``hey we came out on top thats what matters so lets go home i wanna see my parents`` ya im just so looking forward to that one ian thinks to himself just before she smiles at him and as always his agression melts away and he relaxes

they all pile into a speeder waiting for them ian in the drivers seat and thy take off for the 14 drive home ian dosnt say a word jess just curls up on his arm and falls asleep shortly into the drive and stays that way till every one else is asleep except for ian still behind the wheel she wakes up but stays curld on his arm she says ``how much longer till we get there``

``hour give or take 5 min.``

She sighs ``how did you know to come help and for that mater how did you get there well there is a great deal you do not know about the force there kido``

``hey dont call me that im not any were nere a kid``

``ah yes but i am still older than you so ha ha``

she looks up with a pouty face and whines playfuly ``but i dont like it`` he laughs and relaxes breathing the fresh air refusing to analize what his mind is telling him right now he just wants get off the road get a cup of coffee and a bite to eat but they are close enough to home that it can wait till then

as the speeder pulls up out side the four parents are waiting anoxsly for them to come in a veritable feast of snacks an fingerfoods is laid out coffee beers and spirts of all kinds available the kids walked in first to give there parents hug and start to chater about the first days of the cruse then they start to talk about the storm and altough no one has noticed yet during the commotion ian has slipped in grabbed cup of coffee and a plate full of food and slipped to the other room to eat in peace can here the tail being told the parnts concernd questiond expresions of pride at each childs participation in the surviaval of the trip and then there was the enevitible laughter at his two speeches both denying captaincy and telling the owner were to stick it when they finally realized he wasnt there he was quietly sitting in the next room faceing the door draining his coffee he reaches out with the force grabs the pot out of briannas hands floats it across the room opens the door enough to let the pot through and pours himsel a cup just as hes finishing pouring the door bursts open and he is bombarded by a barage of questions wich he starts to answere as things calm down after a while though he sayas hes tierd and who wouldnt be after a fourteen hour drive so he goes to bed and every one else goes to bed slowly two first to leav after that is tera and james telling there parents that simon was missing all the fun whil he was away at art school obiwan and brianne chuckled knowing that sailing didnt intrest their oldest son in any way soon after that they fallow their childrens example and go to bed smileing now that they were sure there kids were safe and okay anakin padme mike and jess sat there in silence for a while then mike got up kissed hid mother on the cheek huged his father and saluted his sister then walked out and anikin chuckled softly and padme smiled and jess jushook her head she look at her parents and said ``i need to talk to you guys in a couple days``

``whats wrong with right now sweetheart``

``i want to figutre out how to say whay im feeling and thinking``

``thats fare enough when your ready just let us know you should know by now that we alwasy have time for you no mater what or when ok`` and with that they got up and went to bed leaving jess to her thoughts she pourd herself a coffee sat back enjoyd it while searchin her own head for how to say what she couldnt define in her own mind she knew there was no changing it she just didnt know when it happend and then there was the rest of the problem how would everyone else react she wasnt sure but she knew nothing would ever be quit the same for her ever again

the next day ian is outside in the yard meditating in the early morrning sun when he feels someonelse walk up behind him without opening his eyes he says ``good morning anakin so what questions have you come to ask``

``who said i want to ask any thing`` chuckling ian relaxes and sits on the grass as two mugs of coffee float across the yard

``well for one i flew out of here in a blur i havent really explained anything``

``well there is that how did you know to go or were to go or for that matter how did you get there``

ian looks up frome his coffee and says ``the force``

``what do you mean you were drunk as a skunk in your room hidding from something when you flew out``

``i heard her call my mame in panic and followed the call with the force and coaxed everthing i could out of the bike useing the force to propel me even faster than the bike was supposed to go i dont know how i just did then when i got there she had eveything pretty much under control so i add muscel were needed but other than that she did it on here own`` finishing barly above a whisper with pride in his voice and a far away look in his eye after a few moments he brought himself back to the here and now and looked at anakin and said ``anything else there boss``

``not rally just i dont know just its about time``

``what do you mean its about time

``if you havent figured it out well then i cant help you`` and smileing from ear to ear he walked away

felling very perplexed ian asked himself just what anakin was talking about after he finished his coffee he went to the kitchen to wash his cup out as he walked through the door there jess was sitting at the table eating toast and fruit she looked up and said ``good morrning`` and smiled up at him he stammerd a good morrning of his own and walked to the sink ``so what are your plans for the day`` she asks quietly

but being as distracted as he was wich was a feeling he did not enjoy he droped the cup in the sink and says ``sorry what`` recovering the cup and placeing it in the drying rack she repeats her question he answeres ``going into town to look for a new bike``

she smiles and says ``good ill come with you``

``WHAT`` some thing in his voice that edges on terror eyes wide

she smiles making him weak in the knees ``well that way if you find something you can ride it home and ill drive the speeder back``

not being able to come up with a logical resone after a few seconds and a deep breath or two he said ``sounds resonable it`ll save me on delivry charges thanks jess``

as they drive out to town she curls up on his arm and although it feels good he mentally slaps him self saying shes 12 years younger and the daughter of your bestfriend what the fuck is wrong with you as she feels the tension in his arm build she looks up in concern and says ``whats wrong``

through gritted teeth he replies with ``nothing not a thing`` and pushes the accelerator to the stops feeling the incresed acceleration she tightend her grip on his arm witch only made him tense up more and in his head he was screaming at himself she was just getting more confused ``so who in town here is going to be the lucky boy who get to take you to the local functions``

she looks at him and says ``none of them they're all the same i really dont care for any them``

``so find some one you can tolerate this thing called being alone it sucks trust me i speak from experiance``

to this she simply said ``that dosnt mean he has to be from town or the exact same age as me`` with a small amount of contentment in her voice as she snuggled back down into his arm

he just stayd tense and focused on driving at least when he focused on something like that he didnt hate himself when he was driving they pulled into town he jumped out and strode purposfully through the door she had to race to catch up with him when she did she locked arms with him as he browsed around the bikes his irratation suppressed he focused on the bikes to the point that he did not here the salesman walk up behind them ``that bike there isnt so good for couples``

ian turns on his heal asking ``what dose that have to do with anything`` the perplexed and frightend salesman backed away alowing the strange couple to brows the store as ian traced his fingers over one bike jess just stood to the side trying to decipher this darkness that had come over her oldest and dearest friend and protector any time she had gotten in over her head all she had had to do was call him and he was there to pull her from the fire as he sat on a bike her revivire was broken and she found herself crawling on the bike behind him wraping her arms around him laying on his back feeling secure and safe with her own personal savior he looked up at the sales men and said ``i wanna take this one for a test spin`` they just nooded as they opened the bay doors and moved a couple bikes back so they could get out the he slowly eased the bike out of the shop an flew off and around the counry side putting the bike trough its paces wich only caused jess to tighten her grip not once did she complain that they were going to fast or being too reckless as he threw the bike trough high speed turns and twists in the foot hill witch only increased his knowledge of what was happening to himself wich just made him loath himself even more than before he slowed as he reenterd town walked up to the counter and said ``ill take it``

after finalizing the transaction they walked out jess let go of his arm and started to climb into the speeder as he mounted his new bike she hollers out ``race ya home`` and he just smiles and she speeds away he pulls out fallowing for a while then he pulles up beside her as she pushes the speeder as fast as she ever had he just lauged and cranked open the throttle another notch and sped away as they approched the house he sped past and left her at the house wondering what just happend

as he sped through the hills he started to berate himself for taking her with him to shop or on the test ride flying away not even addmiting to himself that his destination was inevitable he ended up on the same cliff he always did staring out at the same ocean telling himself that he was too old she too young and he was wrong for even entertaining such notions after a while he was unable to find his calm so he climed abord and rode back too the shop started rip apart the bike opend his first beer and dowend it in a single gulp imediatly opening a second he cleans and reasembles the bike coninually slaming back the beer not noticeing that anakin has slipped in caring two more cases an a couple bottles of spirits sets them on the desk and sit and watches as the fridge opens a beer floats out opens over the ttrash can and the cap falls in and the beer floats over to an already drunk ian sitting on his new bike brooding not even noticing anakin sitting there watching him when anakin finally speakes he dosnt even look up ``hey dude if your looking to sort some thing out ive always found this more useful than beer`` as an open bottle of whisky floats with in reach

ian grabs it out of the air takes a long pull and says ``thanks but i i dont know how to explain what im feeling or if i even want too its bad enough loathing your self i dont want everyone else to know how dispicable i am``

``whoa whoa whoa you've saved my daughter on sevral ocations ther aint nothing you could say dude that would make you despicable in my eyes or anybody elses around here so whats eating you up dude``

***

as jess walked in the door she felt confused and rejected and whent to her mother and said ``mom can we talk``

``sure honey whar do you need``

``well i think i have found some one who intrests me but i dont think that he likes me``

``oh whos that the latest boy who was up at the house a few weeks back what was his name brian ryan something like that``

``eww no brian was an idiot who couldnt cary a conversation if it didnt involve hunting or pod racing its ian i mean hes not biologically my uncle and hes always helped me i feel safe when hes around but when ever i try to get close he tenses and trys to shut down`` padme sat there dumfounded

***

``whats eating me up ill tell you im tierd of being alone and the only peson who catches my eye is off limits`` ian chockes out in an anguished voice drainin more of the bottle

***

as padme absorbed what her dughter had told her she looked over and said ``are you sure honey that hes the one``

``yes mom i know hes older than me and why would he be intrested in a kid like me i mean come on every time i turn around he is pullin my but from the fire some how and i mean as much as i try to find some one else my own age i find myself useing him as the benchmark by witch all others mesured and none even come close to meting the requierments i mean im sure there nice enough guys they just dont mesure up so if no one meet the bar why not just go for the bar but he dosnt want me``

``i wouldnt say that`` anakin says from the door ``im willing to bet its quite the opisite but thats all im gonna say righ now`` and then walks out

***

``so when you say shes off limits what you mean she already married or some thing dude``

``no not married just out of reach`` swilling more of the bottle

``so what puts her out of reach because the ian i know dosnt let things he wants remain out of his reach for long``

ian starts to laugh almost histerically and says ``if you only knew man if you only knew`` then puts the bottle to his lips and drains the remainder of the bottle anakin justt tosses him the next one wich he opens and takes a heavy pull

``in fact if youd open you eyes insted of talkin through your ass you might see that im here to help you dude so lets have it who is she and what stands in your way``

with out looking at him ian wishpers in a deffeated voice ``her name is jessica and what stands between us is 12 years``

when he looked up after sevril moments of silence anakin was simply sitting there smilling from ear to ear and says ``is that all jesus look at padme and me did you really think i wouldnt understand i mean come on and besides i already suspected as much and she has fallen so compleatly for you that when she got home from town today and you sped off she went and talked to padme tellin her that you are the benchmark she mesures all others by and no one else even comes close so why try to find what is already infront of her but when she trys to show you that she wants no one else at her side you get tense and distant i think that tomorrow you hade best explain your self to her because it just might not be too late but if you continue to push her away like that soon it will work and then you will be alone`` with that he grabed a beer off the desk and walked out of the shop

when jess woke the next morning she found a not stuk to her mirorr i`m sorry for the past couple days when you wake pleas join me in the shop signed you know who