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Note: Thoughts are bolded and italicized; song excerpts are just italicized.

Chapter 8: For No One


"Donna, will you just talk to me?"

Donna continued flipping through the magazine. She was not in the mood to talk to him.

"Look, I know you think I'm being selfish-"

"Damn right, you're being selfish! Eric - Kelso and Hyde are having the hardest time right now, and you're off trying to impress me so that you can get some?"

"No, Donna! That's not what I'm trying to do…yeah, this no-sex thing bites, but I…I just want to show you that I can be that guy you need. I just want to show you I'm worthy…and that I'm trying."

Eric took Donna's hand and sighed.

"Eric…you don't need to do these things to try to show me anything. I already know that you're the guy for me. I knew it the first time I kissed you."

"I…love you. I don't know how I ever got you, Donna," Eric said.

Donna knew she couldn't have lasted. It was always the same thing.

Eric would screw up, and she would get mad. He would say something incredibly sweet, and she would be all over him in a heartbeat. What was it about this gangly, unbelievably geeky, but ultimately charming guy in front of her that she found incredibly sexy?

"Whoa, Donna, I thought we weren't-"

She rolled her eyes as she fumbled to unzip his pants.

"Why are you still talking?"

"Right…"


The circle was unusually quiet that afternoon.

Well, except for Eric. He had a grin that spread from ear to ear.

"Forman, will you stop that? It's starting to freak me out," Hyde grumbled.

"Yeah, it's really bringing the circle down…"

"Sorry, guys…it's just, well let's just say that Donna couldn't wait for the prize," Eric said, chuckling to himself.

"What? Are you telling me that Donna and you are doing it again?" Fez's eyes widened.

"That's right, Fez, my little man. I knew it wouldn't last long," Eric answered, admiring himself in the nearby mirror.

"Alright, no more talk about sex and things that are related," Hyde roared.

"Aw, it's okay, Hyde. Just because you're not getting any, doesn't mean I don't love you anymore," Fez said.

"No, man. It's just…we should really think about Kelso's situation right now, you know? Anyway, what is going on with Brooke?"

Kelso shook his head sadly. "I'm not sure, man."

"Look, I know this is inappropriate right now," Eric started, "but I think I'm going to propose to Donna…again."

"WHAT?!" The three boys stared at Eric, shocked.

"Are you sure it's the right time? I mean with Betsy moving in next week and all!"

"Do you think Donna will really say 'yes' after you bailed the first time?"

"I think you took one too many hits, man! You're talking crazy!"

Eric just shrugged as his friends shot questions at him, one after the other. It was good to be back home again.


Jackie sighed as she wandered through the endless halls in the beautiful home.

It was really too big for her cousin, Jillian, to live alone in. But, after her parents had died in a terrible car accident when Jill was just 9-years-old, leaving their only daughter a huge fortune along with the huge house, Jillian simply accepted it.

But there was nothing to do. Jillian had pampered Jackie the first week, of course. But now, Jill had to go back to her classes. And then there was Derek, who was always mysteriously appearing out of nowhere. But now he was also busy with classes.

And Jackie was left with no one.

She couldn't believe she was thinking this, but she really missed the drab of old Point Place. All her friends were there and it was hard to realize that she wouldn't be able to see them in on a daily basis, in that tiny but cozy basement. But she had made that choice. The choice to straighten her life out, away from them. Because she needed to.

She needed to get out of the house. She would think too much, just sitting in the empty ornate halls. Maybe, a trip to Jill's and Derek's campus would be nice.

She quickly fussed over her appearance, before realizing what she was doing. Jackie didn't know why she felt the need to look good. She always looked perfect. And, after all, Derek was just a friend, right?

As she quickly made her way out the doors, she spotted Jill's driver, reading the newspaper by the car.

"I'm really sorry, Robert, but do you think you could give me a quick ride to the Harvard college? I think I might go find Jill and grab lunch with her…"

The old driver smiled at the young brunette.

"Sure, Miss Burkhart. You just hop right in."

Jackie smiled gratefully as she slid in the backseat.

She never realized how beautiful the city of Cambridge was. Just how beautiful Greater Boston was. As they approached Harvard Yard, Jackie gasped in awe.

Jackie Burkhart was a girl who was rarely afraid of anything. She knew the power she held in the presence of others, and she wasn't afraid to use it. She knew she could get what she wanted, when she really tried. And apart from the broken heart she was currently nursing, Jackie feared nothing else.

But as her eyes scanned the prominent buildings towering around her, Jackie felt a little scared. They were so majestic, so powerful, and she felt even tinier.

She managed to thank Robert as he drove off, leaving Jackie to behold the yard. It was a bustling crowd of students, professors, and lines of tourists. It was a busy sight to observe…and with the waves of crimson everywhere – Jackie was getting incredibly dizzy.

She walked quickly among the crowd, feeding into the flow of traffic, as she somehow managed to find Emerson Hall, where she remembered Derek said his class was. For a minute, Jackie wondered if she was allowed to enter, but she was never one to question, because she could always manage to come up with some convincing story or another.

She was guessing that's how she managed to keep her relationship with Steven so long…Because, she had constantly managed to deceive him into "loving" her. But perhaps, he had finally seen her for what she really was: snobbish, superficial, and undesirable. That was why everyone had left her. Because she was undesirable. No one
really wanted her.


"
Your day breaks, your mind aches,
You find that all her words of kindness linger on,

When she no longer needs you.

She wakes up, she makes up,

She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry,
She no longer needs you."

Jackie struggled to hold back the tears as she found herself drifting through unfamiliar halls. Where am I?

She made up her mind to go back home, but something caught her eye.

EH 100 - Student Health Center

It wasn't like she was ill. She had no cough or ache. She had no itch or burn.

But her broken heart was hurting. Hurting like Hell.

There must be a specialist or something for that, right?

With faith and indignation, Jackie marched right in, hoping for a miracle.


"Dr. Novak, there is a young lady in the waiting room that insists she must talk to you, but she won't give me her name, her student number, or anything. What shall I do?"

Sara Novak sighed as she glanced at her watch.

"Well, I don't have any appointments until noon. Show her in."

Her mouse-like secretary nodded as she backed out the door.

Minutes later, a petite brunette stumbled in. Sara eyed her intensely – the girl was quite pale and underweight.

"And in her eyes you see nothing,
No sign of love behind the tears cried for no one,
A love that should have lasted years."

"Well…Miss…" she began.

"Burkhart, Jac – Jillian. Jillian Burkhart," the girl stammered.

"Miss Burkhart…why have you come to my office, and why have you refused to sign in correctly at the front desk?"

"I…I'm so confused. I just needed to fix this, and this was the only place I could think of. And, I just didn't want to go through filling out anything, I just need a quick solution."

Sara noted Jillian's quick movements, her trembling voice, her defiant eyes. The girl was a complete basket case…perhaps, she was caught in her parents' divorce, or maybe she was pregnant. All the young female students these days were coming to her about their pregnancy situation…

"Well, Jillian, I will have to pull out a file for you, eventually. But, if you would prefer to talk first, then that's what we shall do…Now, what would you like to talk about?"

"Um… this may sound crazy, but my heart…it's not working…and I was wondering if there was some way we could fix it…"

Sara smiled tersely. "Oh dear, if we only had that cure…I'm afraid that's something that you're going to do all on your own."

The girl's eyes fluttered as she sighed dejectedly.

"But, I could help…a little," Sara said.

Jillian smiled at her gratefully as she opened her small mouth to begin.

"I…just transferred here after moving in with my cousin Jill, I mean, Jackie. Jackie Burkhart. But I only transferred to this school…to get away from my old life in Point Place. That's in Wisconsin. Anyway, it wasn't like I lived a horrible life there. I was popular in school, I was head cheerleader, and nominated for snow queen – I didn't win, because Kelley Turner is a slut. I had a lot of friends…but then, somehow, I made new friends. Friends that weren't popular, that weren't beautiful, that didn't really care about the wonderful world of shopping."

"Did that bother you? That they were so different from you?"

"At first it did. My boyfriend then, his name's…Mike…um, he was the one who had introduced me to the gang," she replied.

"Who was in this 'gang'?"

"Er…there was Lana, she was a giant. There was Pez, he was really perverted, and madly in love with me…Oh, and Elrich, totally geeky, but very much in love with Do-Lana. And…Steve. He was the reason I moved here."

"Oh, and what happened that he caused you to move all the way to Massachusetts?"

"Well after, uh Mike, cheated on me, I sort of hooked up with his best friend, Steve. It sounds worse than it is, really. And…I didn't realize it then, but I fell so much in love with him…He was the world to me…"

"Did he feel the same way?"

"I really want to believe he did…No, I'm sure he did. But…then, so many things happened. We couldn't be together…it was what is was…"

"What exactly happened between you two?"

"Well…there was this incident early on, right when we started dating, when I accidentally called my ex, 'my boyfriend', right in front of Steve. And we got through that, until Steve thought I was cheating on him, so he slept with this random nurse. That…really broke my heart. I had been cheated on before, pushed away, left alone…but it never hurt like that…you know what was funny though? That was the day he told me he loved me, for the first time."

Sara eyed the broken figure in front of her. She was hollow, soulless…she was like so many girls that had been ruined by the tragedy of love. Not to say that she didn't believe in love. It was just that Sara understood this young girl. It felt only like yesterday when Sara, herself, had been falling…falling all because of this stupid thing called love.

"So, how did that make you feel?"

"I just told you. Angry, hurt…"

"No, I mean when he told you he loved you. Did you believe it?"

"Well…yeah. I know him-No, I knew him, better than anybody. When he said those words, I felt it. But…I couldn't take him back…I mean, I eventually did, but again, our relationship was coming down already."

"Because he cheated on you that one time. Or, because of other things?"

"Well, that too. But, he could never push himself to commit…all I wanted was a simple sign or a gesture, that maybe one day, we would get married. I'm young…and I don't want to get married right away either…but I mean, isn't it every girl's dream to someday, wear that white gown and veil, and be the star?"

"I see…so, you moved here after he refused to commit to marriage with you," Sara clarified.

"No…actually, first, he got married. Yeah, married. To a stripper! Yeah, he said he couldn't get married to me because he didn't want to think about the future, but the day I leave for Chicago, he leaves to Vegas and marries a whore!"

Sara's mind was reeling. There was so much missing information with this girl. The girl that was now clenching her fists and seething visibly.

"Why did you leave for Chicago?"

"Oh right. I got a job offer in Chicago at a broadcasting station. And I was willing to give it up, but that's when Steve told me he wouldn't marry me. And I had to move on with my life…and so after I came back, and found out he got married, I pretended things were fine…"

"So, if you two were 'fine', I don't see why you had to move out here."

"…A couple weeks ago, his wife left him. That stripper wife. And…I knew that this was not a sign to get back together with Steve. We had this talk a couple of days ago, and I think he's completely wrecked by this and I wanted to comfort him. But, as much as I want to, I can't just be there for him when he has these kinds of needs. So before I could make a stupid decision, I got out of there."

"Because, you knew you would fall into that same cycle again," Sara offered.

"Yeah, that's it…"

"Well Miss Burkhart…it sounds like you still have feelings for this young man."

"No, no. I don't…it's like a memory that's stuck in my head. I just want these things out of my head…and my heart. I wish I could just forget he was in my life."

"Dear…the only way to forget about him, is to make peace in your heart. From what I've heard so far…you still sound very hurt, bitter, and angry. Once you get these feelings out, you will have peace and it will be much easier to forget him."

"So you're saying…I have to learn to forgive him for everything…"

"That's right. And it's going to be hard, but I can tell you for sure…you'll feel a whole lot better," Sara answered. "Now, Jillian, I'm going to have to ask you to fill this form out for me…"

"Uh, well I have to meet up with my friend…he also goes here…so, why don't I just fill that out and bring it back to you tomorrow?"

"Actually, you can bring it back by next week, same day. I'm putting you down for a 6-week session."

"Oh okay. Well I guess I'll just be going then. Thank you, Doctor."

Sighing, Sarah sunk into her chair and picked up the phone.

"Marie, I need a black coffee, with two sugars…no, make that three."


"So, what are you guys exactly planning to do here?"

Hyde looked at Eric and Donna, who were both clutching boxes of pale pink and sunny yellow.

"Well…although, we have got necessities like the crib and changing table, Kelso still doesn't have a lot of things. And, Betsy's going to be staying for…who knows how long? So what we want do is host sort of like a donation. You know, make Kelso sound incredibly sweet but sad, because he's raising a daughter by himself. Sort of get pity out of people…"

Eric nodded as Donna finished. "Yeah, so Donna and I were going to put up a daddy fund, and since Donna's going to be hosting her show here, we're going to play songs with the word 'baby' in them. Yeah…..that was the best we could come up with."

Hyde shook his head. "Whatever…"

An hour later, the couple had set up a respectable looking stand with pictures of babies and all things associated. It was like the Easter bunny had thrown up in that particular corner.

"So come up down to Grooves, and help a single dad out! We'll be here from three to seven, and will be accepting all sorts of donations, from cash to cribs. Bring us anything, we'll take it! So to start off our father-fund fest, this is Badfinger's 'Baby Blue'!"

Hyde raised his eyebrows at Donna.

"You're going to play Baby Blue? That's freaking depressing. People are really going to crawl in here after listening to that song…"

"I know I know…But I'm really down to limited choices here…they'll come…I hope."

Eric nodded as he sorted through different records.

Baby Blue. Hyde hated that song.

Probably because he could relate to it so much.

3 hours later

"Where the hell is everyone? Don't they feel sorry at all?"

Donna sank into her chair exhausted. Three hours had passed but they had only made a measly 50.

Hyde took a sip of his soda. He knew he should be keener to help Donna and Eric.

But frankly, all he could think about was about a certain brunette.

The thing that scared him was that…their last conversation had gone so well. There had been no yelling, no sneering, no accusing. It was so unlike them.

And it scared him.

Because when they had fought, it was like some weird supernatural energy that flowed between them, and it was something that had always brought them closer together. It was their thing.

But to be so civil and calm…it was so foreign.

It was creepy…It was wrong.

"Alright, folks! Tell you what! Come down to grooves and make a simple donation of 10 and you get a kiss and a picture with me, Hot Donna!"

"Wait, Donna that was not part of the plan!!"

Hyde sighed. While he felt the world was crashing down at his feet, it was just another day for the rest of the Point Place kids.


Author's Note: Poor Jackie :( Poor Hyde :( Why am I so cruel, you ask? Believe me, it will get better….later, later, later. But for now, bear with me, as I further tangle the dangerous web I have already woven.

Preview of Ch. 9: "Let It Be"

Life, sometimes, just doesn't make sense. And at other times, it absolutely makes perfect sense. Our gang deals with life-altering events and deal with our friend, Fate. Eric is happy, Donna is shocked, Kelso is numb, and Fez is preoccupied. Jackie and Steven face their feelings, leading to a somewhat disastrous conclusion. This is the most dramatic chapter yet - sorry, I hate drama too. But what can one do?