Chapter 7
And maybe
I wasn't strong
enough
to forgive you.
Maybe I wasn't
brave enough
to let you
be in my life
again.
Words To Last / ma.c.a
-vomitingwords, tumblr.
It was a terribly long day for Hermione today, consisting of numerous meetings and plenty of paperworks. There were so many things that would have kept her preoccupied for the day, yet the only thing that was on her mind was what Harry had said.
To Hermione, it was the most absurd thing Harry had ever told her.
Draco Malfoy. The DRACO MALFOY. She needed Harry to repeatedly clarify about what he stated. That Draco Malfoy is the only one could explain to her everything she needed and wanted to know.
What does he have anything to do with her? Hermione thought to herself. She had so many questions flooding in her brain, she couldn't stop thinking and it makes her go crazy.
"Hermione?" A voice called, causing Hermione to snap out of her thoughts.
The brunette looked up to see her assistant standing with a confused expression on her face.
"Mm?"
"I'll close up in a bit, why don't you go home and get some rest?" Liz started roaming around Hermione's office, cleaning up some small messes.
Hermione checked the clock, it was 6:57pm. She debated leaving already, but there was a part of her that was resisting. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she felt a tiny gut wrenching feeling inside of her whenever she would think of the thought that once she gets back to the house, nothing might not ever be the same. Although, she had everything planned out, starting from how she would approach Malfoy on the topic, what her emotion should be, not to freak out, and so on so forth. Hermione had to practice what to say to him over and over again due to the fact that she might not be able to convince him. But of course, she always had a back up plan if in case he wouldn't tell her the truth.
"Mione?!" Liz was waving her hand in front of the Brunette's face.
Hermione snapped out of her thoughts once again, and looked up at the worried face of Liz.
"Mione, are you really okay? You've been blanking out a lot lately."
"Yea. It's kind of a bad day for me today. I'm sorry." Hermione stood up from her chair that she hasn't left from for almost 3 hours.
"You must have been having a lot of bad days then." Liz sighed.
Hermione flinched from the comment.
"Liz, i'm sorry. I would tell you if I knew what was going on with myself too. But I don't. I don't have a single idea what is happening to me." Hermione let out a frustrated breath.
"Yeah, I understand. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bombard you with it."
"You didn't." Hermione lifted a small smile.
After they both exchanged goodbyes, Hermione headed out of her store and immediately apparated.
She wasn't a big fan of apparating, mainly because of the tight stretchy feeling she feels every time she apparates, but she particularly didn't have that much of a choice. It was the easiest and fastest way to get to a place.
Hermione stood in front of a familiar house, a simple house also known as the Burrow in the middle of a plain field, it was a cozy nice several floored house with minimum design, the exterior walls of the house was painted gray but currently, it was more of a dirty gray. The house was surrounded by some flowers, which looked a little bit dry. Though, this house has once been burnt down during the Second War, it didn't stop Arthur Weasley from recovering it and repairing all the damages of the Burrow, that was how much the Weasleys' were attached to it. Overall, the Burrow was nothing extravagant, to any other normal people it would look like a funny looking dull house, due to the structure of it. But to Hermione, it was home. It was everything to her. Ever since she obliviated her parents, she was offered to live in the Burrow with the Weasleys', and since then, she adored the Burrow and she had a very special piece of her heart in it.
Hermione, who had a sling bag hung in her shoulders, slowly walked towards the door. Before she could knock, the wooden door opened widely which caused Hermione to jump.
"MIONE!" Ginny screamed in delight.
Before Hermione could reply, she received a tight hug from her red headed friend.
"Gin-" Hermione tightly spoke, feeling a little suffocated.
"OH MY BAD!" Ginny chuckled.
Ginny, whose hair is tied in a messy bun, was wearing just a simple beige shirt and baggy sweatpants. Yet, she never fails to look pretty.
"Come in!" Ginny moved aside the door gesturing Hermione to come inside.
Hermione approached inside and slightly melted at the interior of the house. Everything looked the same, nothing changed at all, which didn't surprise Hermione because technically it's only been about 3 days since she moved, yet she thought there would might have been a huge effect on her leaving but to her eyes, everything stayed the same.
She felt her heart tightening a bit, and she was hit with a wave of homesick. She misses this place so much, and there was an urge inside of her to announce to Ginny that she wants to move back, but she resisted it.
Is anyone else here?" Hermione asked, while scanning the room.
"Just me. Mum and dad are out, while Ron and everyone else is still working. Harry's supposedly on his way here."
Hermione tensed a little as she heard Harry's name. She tried recovering from her action, hoping Ginny didn't see it.
"Is something wrong?" Unfortunately, Ginny was a good observer.
"I just miss this and of course you guys." Hermione fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, hoping Ginny would buy it.
Seemingly, Ginny didn't buy it. She knows Hermione too well. But luckily, Ginny didn't push it.
"We all miss you too. Anyways, I would offer some tea but you know I don't make tea. So let's just take a seat outside, come." Ginny passed straight towards Hermione and led her out of the house and to the veranda.
Hermione took a seat in front of Ginny and they both silently admired the view. Yes, it was a simple green plain field, but there was something about the view, possibly the way the angle of the sun setting, that made both girls awe in the sight.
"How is your stay at the apartment?" Ginny casually asked.
Hermione bit her lip. She didn't want to lie to Ginny, but at the same time, she didn't want her to know the truth just yet. She didn't want anyone to know really. It wasn't that she was ashamed of living with them, it was what her friends would think of her if they found out she was living with them. They would be furious. And she wasn't ready to find out their reaction.
It isn't permanent, she told herself. At some point, she has to move out. So maybe no one has to know about her stay with Malfoy and Zabini. For sure, they wouldn't tell anyone either.
"It's great. It's big and nice." Hermione continued staring straight at the view.
"How about your roommate? What's her name again? Ms. Blue Zapparoni?" Ginny glanced at the Brunette who was tensely sitting straight.
"Oh. Her. Yea. She's nice." Hermione faced Ginny and smiled for reassurance.
Hermione was expecting Ginny to push forward questions about her roommate, but for some reason, she didn't. She just nodded and continued asking questions here and there. It was nice and calming for Hermione to talk to Ginny, but the more she had to lie to her friend, the more she felt guilty and horrible.
"How are you and Harry?" Hermione asked, while noticing the sun being slowly buried by the darkness.
"Honestly, not that great. He's been getting more work load than ever and he usually gets home late at night when everyone's in bed. I talked to him about reducing his work load and not accepting too much tasks and responsibilities. Mione, I barely see him anymore. He leaves so early in the morning and gets home so late in the evening. But you already know what he said." Ginny sighed with a sad expression on her face.
Hermione frowned. She remembered Harry was at work very early this morning.
"He is the Head Auror. But I do understand, try talking to him more about it. Explain your side as well and how you feel about the situation."
"I already had! But he wouldn't listen!" Ginny groaned in frustration.
Hermione was never good at relationship advice, probably why her own relationship didn't work out.
"Make him see it. Make him prioritize himself. Make him understand more."
"Exactly how do I do that?" Ginny snapped causing Hermione to flinch a little.
"I'm sorry, Mione. It's just- Harry won't listen. Unfortunately, i'm not enough to make him understand."
"Don't say that Gin. Don't ever say that. Harry loves you. I know he does. He loves you so much, you are one of the reasons why he is working extra hard."
"He doesn't need to work this hard, Mione. His fame is enough to last us a life time."
Hermione could understand Ginny's side. It is hard to be in a relationship if you barely see each other. But it doesn't mean it wouldn't work out.
"I know. But you know how much he loves his job and how much he loves our people as well. He wants to protect everyone and you know no one could stop that. I'm not saying you want to or you should stop him, but I know he has his reasons."
"You're right. I have no right to stop him from doing what he loves." Ginny frowned.
"But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you Gin. He loves you so much, everytime he's with you, I see it in his face the amount of love he has for you. Talk to him more, help him understand. I'll try talking to him as well." Hermione gave an uplifting smile to her best friend.
Ginny widely smiled back and stood up to give Hermione a tight warm hug.
Hermione didn't stay for dinner anymore, and she didn't get to bump into the other Weasleys' as well, but she decided it was time for her to face her fear and go back to the house. She said her goodbyes to Ginny and took a very deep breath before apparating.
Draco sat on the dining chair and quietly ate his dinner in peace with no one to disturb him, because everyone was out doing their own business, which made Draco quite happy. He liked being alone and keeping all his thoughts to himself without having anyone to interrupt him. He never understood why his friends always tell him to "open up" or "talk to us", he never really saw the point in expressing all his emotions to someone. The only people he would ever open up to are Blaise, Pansy, Theo, and Hermione. But Hermione was out of the picture ever since the incident. But either way, it was still very rare for him to release his feelings to the three Slytherins'.
The sound of the door opening snapped Draco from his thoughts and didn't bother to check who it is knowing it was already going to be his ever so annoying friend, Blaise Zabini. So he awaited for the familiar voice to start ranting about his day. Instead, he heard silent footsteps behind him and as he turned to see who it is, it was Hermione Granger.
Draco didn't turn back just yet, he continued blankly staring at her. The brunette tensed as she recognized his presence, and Draco turned back to his food and ignored her like he didn't just see her and like she wasn't there at all.
Hermione felt a boiling fury inside of her, and started marching to the front of Draco.
Draco still didn't bother looking up and continued eating his food and took a big bite of his juicy apple.
Hermione cleared her throat, trying to get his attention.
He still didn't budge.
The brunette wickedly smiled and all of a sudden, she grabbed the juicy red apple from Malfoy's hand.
Draco's eyes widened in shock and his expression was immediately replaced with anger, but it didn't scare her.
"Granger. Give me my apple back." He growled.
Hermione had never seen him look so mad in her entire life, and she had to admit it made her smile seeing him with so much anger. How does it feel to be bullied now, Malfoy? She thought to herself.
"Not until you answer my question." Hermione slowly backed up realizing Malfoy was trying to reach her from the table.
"What do you want?!"
"Will you promise me you will tell me?"
"UGH! How can I promise you that when I don't even know the question!" Draco stated in frustration. He looked so protective of his apple.
Hermione rolled her eyes.
"The truth."
Draco was halfway from reaching her until he suddenly paused.
She caught him, Hermione thought. He really did know something.
He glared and suddenly jumped for his apple but Hermione was quick enough to move further causing Draco to retrieve back to his chair.
"You know something. I know you do."
"What the hell are you talking about?!" Draco stood up from his chair and instead of fighting for his apple he walked straight towards the stairs.
Hermione followed in pursuit, which caused Draco to glare even more.
"Will you just listen to me for a minute!" Hermione grabbed his arm.
Draco stared in disbelief at her hand in his arm and jerked away from it.
"WHAT?!"
"What do you know about me? What happened to me?" Hermione sighed, she needed to know.
Draco noticed how sad and tired she looked which almost ALMOST made his heart squeeze a little.
"I don't know anything." He bluntly replied and turned around to go back to his room.
"Please." Hermione begged which made Draco stop immediately in his tracks.
"Granger, I can't. I can't tell you. You don't need to know. Nothing is wrong with you."
"NO!" She retorted.
"No. You don't get to decide that. If it involves me, you out of all the people have no right to keep it from me. I need to know. I'm going crazy, Malfoy. Memories have been rushing back to me. No one would tell me, and you are the only one who could. So it's either you tell me now or I will not stop until I find out. And you know what I could-WOULD do to get what I want." Hermione glared, as she was standing right in front of him.
For a split second, she thought she saw a sad expression washed in Malfoy's face. But, as she looked at him again, his expression was nothing but mad.
"You can't always get what you want Granger! You've been doing just fine without knowing the truth, it's better this way." He tried passing her but she blocked him.
"DOING FINE?! I'm slowly falling apart! Do you know how hard it is?! Trying to figure out what the hell is going on with me and my brain! Trying to find answers of my situation when nobody wants to give it to you! Lying to my best friends because I don't want them to find out about my stay here! If you call this fine then I feel sorry for you."
"No one asked you to stay here Granger!"
"Oh really?!" She scoffed in disbelief.
Draco wanted to scream at her in frustration, why can't she just understand! Stubborn witch.
"WHAT PART OF "YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!" Draco grabbed his hair with his hands.
"AND WHAT PART OF "THAT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!" Hermione growled back.
There was a silent pause between the two.
"This will break you." Draco quietly said and looked down.
Hermione hesitated answering before she said
"I will be strong. I will get through this. Why is it so hard for you?"
She looked at him very closely. She's never really seen him being happy, truly happy. It wasn't like he was sad all the time, but he was more like quiet and reserved and blank the whole time. He never really laughed either, and even if she used to hate him so much, the thought of him not being able to be live his life in happiness made her sad. Everyone deserves to be happy.
"Maybe i'm not ready. Maybe i'm not strong enough." Draco looked down and groaned to himself for exposing himself so easily to her.
Hermione was surprised from what he just said. She didn't expect that. For a split second, she was confused as to what he meant. But then everything came rushing to her. She finally pieced the pieces.
Everything made sense now. How didn't she realize this before?! She thought to herself.
He was the guy in her previous memories. He was the guy who begged her not to go, not to leave, to stay. It made perfect sense now. Now all she needed to know was why? how? and why him?
HEY GUYS!
I'm so so sorry! This was a very late update, I know. I've been busy lately but I promise I will try my best to update as much as possible. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and again I left it in a cliffhanger. hehe. But anyways, thank you guys for your kind reviews, I appreciate it. And I know y'all are very confused, Hermione is too. But don't worry, you'll find out the truth at some point. So, to conclude, thank you again and many more chapters to come!
x
