A/N: The response to this story never fails to make me grin. Thank you to all of you reading this. I'm amazed at the responses I've gotten. You're all amazing people for reading and leaving me feedback. I really appreciate it!

Even my super-awesome-terrific beta, CharlietheCAG can't wait for Maura to show up. Me too, really. But enjoy this buildup. It's important. It's what makes this story what it is. This story can't be rushed, and it's a LONG story. I'm just as excited as CharlietheCAG and the rest of you are though. Jane and Maura's reunion in this story is one of the most favorite things I've ever written. We're only a few chapters away from their reunion at this point. :)

Anyway, today's chapter:


The morning nurse explained to me that weekends at the rehab were different than during the week. There was less staff on hand, so we did shorter hours of therapy in the morning and then were free to do whatever we wanted for the rest of the day. They had all sorts of group activities, like crafts, bingo, movies, and board games. None of that really held any interest for me. I didn't feel like socializing, but I also didn't feel like sitting alone in my room all day once I got back from physical therapy. Sara was off on weekends so I couldn't even talk to her.

Instead, after the nurse brought me back from physical therapy, I asked her to let me take a bath, which she set up for me and helped me to get into. She let me be for a little while and I enjoyed soaking in the hot water. I was so sore most of the time that I had constant muscle spasms. The hot baths helped to calm them.

When the nurse came back she helped me get dressed and asked if I wanted to sit in the chair by the window for a little while. I thought that was a great idea. She got me situated and opened the shades for me. I hadn't realized I had a small balcony outside of my room. If I was still at the rehab in the spring, it would be nice to sit out there in the evening. I just hoped I wouldn't still be there when spring came along.

I was sitting at the window when the nurse brought my lunch by. My stomach growled in anticipation. For lunch I had pureed beef stew, applesauce and orange sorbet. It was some of the most pathetic looking food in the world, but I ate it with gusto. I got full quickly, and the nurse told me to stop when I was full so I wouldn't make myself sick. I was happy that I ate as much as I had when I got full. I needed to put on some weight.

After the nurse came back and took my lunch tray, she offered to bring me down to arts and crafts in the activity room.

I really didn't want to go.

The idea of arts and crafts in general made me cringe, but the idea of socializing with other people while doing arts and crafts was even worse to me.

"It would do you good to get out of this room for a while, Jane," the nurse encouraged. "If anything, it will help you to pass the time a bit. And using your hands will help improve your fine motor skills."

I looked around the room and sighed. There was absolutely nothing there for me to do. No one to talk to, nothing to read, and nothing on the television at the moment that I would enjoy watching.

"Try it, Ms. Rizzoli. If you don't like it, one of us will bring you right back here."

"Fine." I said, and the nurse looked delighted. I didn't really have much of a choice. It was either sit in the room alone and be miserable, or go sit in the arts and crafts room and be miserable. At least if I went into the arts and crafts room, I could occupy my time with something. It seemed like the lesser of two miseries at that point.

She wheeled me down to the activities room and there were four other people there, each spread out at their own table. I got the last table to myself, and I hoped that no one else would join us, so I wouldn't have to socialize. The nurse left me and the volunteer in the room greeted me cheerfully.

"Hi! You're new! What's your name?"

"Jane," I replied dully.

"Welcome, Jane. This weekend we've got painting and popsicle stick crafts. We're focusing on fine motor skills. What would you like to work on?"

I wanted to answer her with "neither", but I also didn't want to be rude, so I asked to paint. She gave me a small canvas, a brush, and a set of cheap watercolors to use, then let me be. I sat and thought about what I wanted to paint for a little while, first thinking of trying to paint Maura. After all, I had her every feature memorized. The more I thought about it though, the weirder that idea seemed. First, my painting skills would never do her justice. Second, it might seem a bit pathetic and even a bit like a stalker if I did that. Instead, I settled on painting a gun and badge.

Considering my injuries and that I'd never painted before, the painting I came up with on the tiny canvass wasn't too bad. I almost felt a bit like Maura as I looked at my handiwork and analyzed it. The lines weren't perfect, the perspective was a bit off, and the watercolors made the image seemed washed out- a lot like I felt. I thought it was a nice reflection of who I had been, and what I had become. My life had once been bold decisions and proud actions, and now I had been relegated to shaky efforts and bland meals.

The volunteer though, seemed concerned.

"A gun?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.

"And a badge. I was a detective."

"Oh, well... that's nice..." She seemed nervous about my artistic subject. "Maybe you should show that to Dr. Gilfried," she encouraged.

"That's all right. I'll just take it back to my room," I said, slightly insulted. Did I look like some kind of gun-toting maniac to this woman? I painted something meaningful to me. I used my hands and put together something that looked reasonably good, and all this woman wanted me to do was show it to my psychologist? I knew this had been a dumb idea.

"Don't you want to try the popsicle stick crafts?" she asked half-heartedly as I wheeled myself toward the door.

"No thanks," I grunted, and made my way slowly back to my room.

A nurse followed me in and helped me into the guest chair. I turned on the television and caught the beginning of the Patriots game. It felt really good to just sit back and relax. I had been sitting up in my wheelchair at arts and crafts and then in the guest chair for well over two hours altogether, and my pelvis was only slightly achy. I wasn't having a hard time keeping myself upright at all.

It was amazing what a week of physical therapy had done for me. I was really looking forward to starting aqua therapy. I missed walking. It seemed like such a simple thing, something I had never thought about before, but I would have done anything at that point to get up and go wander around. I knew I would never take it for granted again.

Right around the end of the first quarter I heard my brothers' voices in the hallway, and something else I didn't think I'd get to hear this weekend. It was the scampering of tiny dog paws on the linoleum. I turned in my seat to see my brothers walking in, and they let go of Jo's leash so she could come running up to me.

I'd never heard Jo yelp like that before, but it was a beautiful sound. She whimpered and yelped and barked and even growled a little, with her tail wagging madly behind her. I had a feeling she was yelling at me for being missing for the last three months, in her own doggie way. She finally calmed down enough to hop up onto the chair with me, and she started to sniff me all over.

"I know baby, I don't smell right, do I?"

She gave me a sharp bark before she went right back to sniffing.

"No, no, stay away from there. That's not for little doggies," I said as she stood up on her hind legs and I pushed her away from the bandage covering where my tracheostomy had been.

"Jo sit," Frankie said.

She obeyed, and sat right on my lap, which unfortunately caused me a great deal of pain.

"Oh, oh ow, Jo, gotta get up, gotta get up!" I whimpered.

Tommy reached in and grabbed her, taking her off my lap.

"Sorry," I gasped. "She stepped on something, maybe where I have a screw or a pin or something?" I said. "Anyway, it hurt."

Tommy leaned down with Jo and let me pet her from where I was standing.

"Hi, by the way," I said to them both.

"Hi Janie," Tommy said, kissing my cheek.

"Hey," Frankie said.

"You got the game on?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah, I'm done with therapy for the day and thought I'd watch the game. You guys wanna stick around and watch with me?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Frankie agreed. "Nice painting," he said, pointing to where I'd propped the tiny canvas up on my nightstand.

"The volunteer suggested I show it to my psychologist, because I painted a gun."

"A gun and a badge," Frankie pointed out.

"I know."

"Don't listen to her, she doesn't know anything," Tommy interjected, waving a hand dismissively.

"Right?" I said. "What a jerk. That's the last time I do any of their stupid crafts. Anyway, go get some chairs, guys. The game is just getting good."

They asked at the nurses' station if they could get two chairs for themselves and soon an aide brought them in. I brought Jo gingerly back onto my lap, closer to my knees this time, and she sat still enough for me to pet her. Her tail didn't stop wagging the entire time.

"I missed you, Jo," I said to her quietly. "Thanks for bringing her up here with you. I didn't think you were going to bring her because Ma said no."

"Yeah, well we figured you could use a nice surprise," Tommy replied.

"Oh, and we asked and the nurse on duty said you could have this." Frankie pulled a small take out cup out from behind his back, along with a plastic spoon.

I grabbed it eagerly. "Is that-"

"A Kelly's coffee frappe? Why yes, it is."

"Oh. My. God." I opened it up and took a spoonful in my mouth, and couldn't believe how good it tasted. "The nurse really said it was okay for me to have this?" I asked with my mouth full.

"Yeah, she even checked it to make sure it was the right consistency."

"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I've missed coffee. And food. And these frappes!"

"You're welcome. We gotta fatten you up a little, Ma says."

"Just keep bringing me these frappes and I'll weigh 500 pounds in a month."

"Ma can't wait to bring you lasagna. And gnocchi," Tommy said.

"I can't wait until I'm allowed to eat that stuff. Hey, where is Ma?"

"She'll be by tomorrow. She had to help Maura with some stuff today," Tommy said.

Frankie smacked Tommy on the arm.

"Hey!" Tommy winced, reaching for his arm and rubbing it where Frankie had hit him.

"You don't have to smack him every time he brings up Maura. I know she's none of my business anymore. I won't ask. Just stop hitting him, for crying out loud."

"Janie..." Frankie said.

"Nah, it was my bad, Jane. Sorry," Tommy interrupted, giving Frankie a dirty look.

"Looks like the Patriots may make this field goal," I said to change the subject.

We all cheered when they scored, and we sat there in a comfortable silence watching the rest of the game, punctuating it occasionally with cheers and rants about bad calls.

When the game was over, Frankie took Jo Friday downstairs and outside for a quick walk. Tommy stood up and stretched.

"Thanks for coming today. I know you probably have better things to do with your time," I said to him.

"I've missed you, Jane. It was good watching the game with you today." He looked over his shoulder, and made sure Frankie wasn't on his way back yet. "If you wanna know about Maura, I'll tell you," he whispered.

I smiled at him. "There's nothing for me to know, Tommy. I walked away from her. She's a good person and she deserves to be happy. I have to thank her, and I am trying to figure out a way to do that."

"She misses you, you know."

"I miss her too."

"Maybe she'll come see you here."

"Oh no! No, she's not seeing me like this. It's bad enough you and Frankie and Ma have seen me like this. No way."

"You really think it matters to her what you look like? She's been worried about you, too."

"I don't know why she did what she did for me, but I'm grateful to her."

"She loves you, Janie. You know if you were to pick up the phone right now and call her she'd be thrilled to hear from you."

"I can't, Tommy. I just can't."

"Why Jane? You can tell me, you know. I ain't gonna judge you."

"I know you wouldn't Tommy. But I just can't."

"Well, if you ever wanna talk, I'm always here for you."

"Thanks, Brother."

Frankie came back up. "Jo's in the car, so we should get going. Ma will be by tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks for coming. It was good to spend the afternoon with you guys. And thanks for bringing Jo. It was so great to see her."

"I'll try to convince Ma to bring her again tomorrow," Tommy said.

"Thanks. Oh, hey, do you think you could ask Ma to bring me something to read tomorrow? Anything, really. I have nothing here and it's really boring." And I wasn't going back to arts and crafts again, not after that day's experience.

"Yeah, sure." Frankie said.

They both gave me a kiss goodbye and left. I sat there for a little bit, wondering what to do with myself. It occurred to me that it had been a while since a nurse had stuck her head in to check on me. I had to go to the bathroom, and I didn't feel like waiting for someone to show up randomly during their rounds. Sara had been showing me how to transfer from my wheelchair onto the toilet for days now, and now seemed like as good of a time as any to give it a try.

I wheeled myself into the bathroom, which took a lot more effort than I thought it would. I set up the wheelchair next to the toilet like Sara had been showing me and locked the wheels on the chair. I inched my pants and underwear down. Then I reached for the bar on the other side of the toilet and slid myself onto the toilet seat. I did what I needed to do, then I gave myself a silent victory cheer.

I realized that the first person I wanted to call and tell about this was Maura. I was surprised by that. I hadn't had any contact with Maura in almost nine months, so this sudden inclination to share this part of my day with her took me by surprise. Then I realized that not only could I not call her, but it would sound pathetic and weird to be so excited about something so ridiculous and mundane.

No, this was definitely a victory I'd have to keep to myself.

I stayed seated there for a few moments, trying to regroup the strength my sudden sense of disappointment had stolen from me. What had seemed like such a giant victory just a few minutes ago now seemed like an insurmountable feat to do again in reverse.

I started to push off the toilet and back onto the chair. I slid back into the chair with a painful thud, but I'd made it back in. Next I pulled up my pants, getting everything squared away there. Then I put the arm back up on the side of the chair and took the brake off the wheels. Then I started inching myself over to the sink, where I washed my hands and splashed some water on my face. Then I started the trek back into my room.

All in all, it took me almost an hour to go pee. The sad part was that I was glad I'd used up so much time, because I had no idea what to do with myself. I wheeled myself back into the room just as the nurse on duty came in.

"Oh there you are! I thought maybe your brothers had taken you for a stroll," she said.

"Nah, just took a trip to the bathroom. They left after the game was over."

"Wait, you used the bathroom on your own?" she asked incredulously.

"Yup. God that was tiring. Do you think I could get into bed and take a nap?"

"You can't do that!"

"I can't take a nap?"

"No! You can't get in and out of your chair on your own! You could fall! You could reinjure yourself!"

"I had to go, though."

"So you call one of us to come in and help you! Oh goodness, Ms. Rizzoli if you'd fallen, I can't even begin to think of what could have happened. Please, you've only been here a week. Please don't start trying to do things on your own yet."

"But I did it," I said quietly. "I was able to do it on my own."

"And that's a really good thing. But please, please for the sake of your good health and my job, please call one of us to come in and help you until the doctor clears you for that level of independent activity. Please."

"Okay," I said, looking down. I couldn't believe how the nurse was flipping out. It wasn't like I'd tried to do cartwheels down the hallway or something.

"It's time for dinner. I thought it would be nice if you took your dinner in the dining hall with the other residents tonight."

"I'm so tired though, and my pelvis hurts from sitting up for so many hours. Do you think I could just have my dinner in here, and sit in my bed to eat it?"

The nurse scowled at me. "If you had called me in to help you, you would not be tired or sore right now."

"Actually, I was both tired and sore by the time the game ended and my brothers went home. I just made myself more tired and more sore by going to the bathroom on my own."

"Humph."

"Look, I'm sorry that I used the bathroom on my own, okay? Really, I didn't realize it was such a big deal. I'll use the nurse's call button if I have to go again."

"Fine. But I still think you should come have dinner in the dining room. You haven't met anyone else on the floor yet."

"Can I do that tomorrow?"

"I guess so. Come on, I'll help you into your pajamas and into bed. I'll bring your dinner by in a little while."

"Okay. Thanks."

She helped me into bed and pushed the tray on wheels over me.

"I'll be back in a little while with your dinner."

"Thanks," I said.

"Tomorrow you're eating with the rest of the floor, understood?"

"Yes ma'am," I said, and gave a mock salute.

She gave me a funny look, a cross between a scowl and a raised eyebrow, and left. I was fast asleep long before she came back.


A/N: More soon. Until then, leave me some reviews, won't ya? They totally make my day. :)