Author's Note: Well, hello there. Welcome. Review please thank you :3

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or it's characters.

When I open my eyes the first thing I feel is hurt. My eyes are burning in the light of this room, the bright light that makes me realize in an instant I know just where I am. I sit up straight and look around, a bandage is on my hand, the cut must have been worse than I'd thought. Once my eyes get adjusted to the light of the room, I look around. Peter's standing in the corner of the room, arms crossed against his chest. Like the big brother I'd never had. He's staring at me, staring like he's waiting for me to speak. But, his eyes aren't fierce; they're soft, and scared. Hurt. No one else is in the room, and it makes me think of Eli; had he come to the hospital? Had he left? Had he waited long enough for me to wake up? How long had I even been unconscious?

Peter slowly moves from his position and comes to sit down on the edge of my bed. He looks at me, and speaks softly, "So…you passed out."

I look down, feeling completely incapable of finding any words at the moment to explain everything to him. I'd hardly been able to explain it all over to myself in my head. And it was a lot of things to explain, not like there was anything I could leave out. I looked at him with my eyes, my head downcast.

He takes in a deep breath, looking at me with this intense look—between wanting to understand and being hurt and scared by what had happened—then he releases the breath. "Look Clare, the doctor's said it was because you're weak from not eating. Why would you do that, not eating, that's not the Clare I know. It's not like you. I don't know why, but what I do know is that you need to eat. I know it hurts, I know that whatever is making you do this hurts, but you need to eat. I-it will kill you. The anorexia. And no one wants that. We want you to live. We need you to live because life without you isn't…wouldn't be the same. Clare, you're like my little sister, and I can't stop this. I can't control this. I can't control you. But I can tell you; I've had someone close to me go through this before. She got through, she got control. That's what I need from you Clare. You need to, to stop this before it goes any further. No one wants you to be dead. We all want you alive and, and happy. And healthy."

I glance up at him, hot tears burning my eyes. "It's not so simple Peter."

"It, it has to be that simple. Any more of this could kill you Clare. Do you want that? Do you want to be dead?"

"After everything I've been through dying seems better." Peter glances at me, and a hard slap goes across my face. I don't look at him after that moment. Instead I stare down at my hands. My shaking hands. I don't know how long they've been shaking, or if they ever actually stopped.

"Don't say that. Don't say that Clare. Please, don't say that. Ever."

"Well what do you want me to say? That everything is fine? That I'm happy. That I love life, and God, and everything I used to live life for. I can't say those things Peter! I'm not happy. Nothing is right anymore. It's not the same. I'm not going to pretend to be someone who I'm not. I am not myself anymore. I'm not the Clare you knew. The Clare everyone loved. The Clare who deserved to live. I'm not saying that I want to die, but it wouldn't be the worst thing to happen to me. I don't eat because it's controllable. Life? It's a mess. It can't be controlled. You can't write out and plan what will happen Peter. When bad things happen what you want is for life to just stop. Depending on how bad they are; you'll try to end your own life. Just ask Darcy."

Peter looks at me for a minute, a long minute. It seems to last forever. His eyes looking into mine. Searching for what I meant. For any sign of what I'm hiding. I try not to say anything more. Try to keep it hidden. Not that I want to. But for his sake. I don't want to burden him. I love him like a brother, but I don't want him to know all my secrets right at this moment.

A nurse knocks on the door and announces my mother's come to see me. Peter moves to stand against the wall and my mother walks in. She seems mad at me. She walks in and sits down on the bed, her eyes never moving from mine.

"It's like you don't care anymore. What is this? Why are you here? What are you doing. Ditching school to sit in a lousy hospital? This is below you Clare. Now get up, we're going home."

"Mom…I…"

"Look, you ruined my home day with Glen because I had to come and get you. Now its time to go home." She sighs, "Why couldn't you be more like Jake?"

"M-More like Jake? More like Jake! Why am I never enough for you mom? Why is that? Why am I always second best? First it was Darcy. Now it's Jake! He's not even blood. He's not even your son. But I am your daughter. How can you compare me to him. If he's so perfect, if everyone is so much more perfect than I am, why don't you just forget about me. Give me up because I will apparently never be enough for you."

"Clare, that's not true, you're my daughter, I love you. I do."

"Really? Well, then you have a funny way of showing it. Because not once in the past year have I heard you say those words to anyone else but Glen and Jake. I'm your daughter. I'm not some child you're taking in. I am your daughter. Your flesh and blood. I am not Jake, who is only related to you by marriage. I am half of you and half of my father. So what I'd love to know is, if you love me, why haven't you said it. Why have you always compared me to Darcy? Why have you always compared me to everyone else. Saying they're better than me. I really needed someone to be there for me. To tell me I was worth it. That I'm loved. But you're too preoccupied with everything else to care about your own daughter. I thought maybe it was that I can't be loved or that I did something wrong. But right now I'm pretty sure that it's you. You're the one who needs to look at your life."

"Clare Diane Edwards, you take that back right now."

"No, because as much as I've thought differently over the years. Now I know you're wrong. Now I know I've been fooling myself into thinking I need your approval for every little thing I do. I can't believe I let myself believe you were right. You're not though. I don't need you. I don't need you to push me down."

"Where will you go then? No one would take a child like you in." She's trying to make it like I'm bluffing. But I'm not. I'll find my own way. I need to get out from under her because the negativity isn't going to help me get better. And, I'm starting to think I want to. At least, I want to get healthy. I mean, Peter's right, and maybe it had taken a slap to the face for me to finally see, but I shouldn't want to die. I shouldn't have said that. But now I'm taking a stand because it's what needs to be done. I guess some would call it my first step to recovery?

"I'd take her in Mrs Edwards…er, sorry. Mrs Martin." Peter says, moving to stand next to my bed.

She glances over him, "Peter Stone. You haven't changed one bit."

"Actually, I have. I've changed a lot. And I'd happily take Clare in. I already love her like a sister. If she wants to go, then I'll take her in. If you let her go, I will take care of her. I'm not a bad kid, as much and you'd like to believe that. I love Clare, and I don't want to see anything happen to her. Please Mrs Martin, if she really wants this, if she really wants to go, let her."

She stares at him for a moment, the looks from me to him. Then she walks out of the room, without another word.

I glance up at Peter, "Thank you. Thank you for standing up for me. Thank you for reminding me there are people who love me out there. That to some people, I actually mean something."

He leans down and kisses my forehead, "Any time kid. Any time."

"So what do you think her leaving means?"

He shrugs and sits down on my bed, putting his arm around me, "No clue. I'm sure we'll find out soon."

Author's Note: Thanks for reading. Review please

Hint: Emma next chapter :)

xoxox Hope