Well, hello! I really didn't expect to finish this so quickly, but last night I got tired of writing other things and so started looking through my documents...and stumbled upon this and wrote the rest of the first part, up until the break, in a couple of hours. I think that it's a pretty good chapter, but I guess you all will just have to let me know. :)
Rating: T
Pairings: Deidara/Naruto, Neji/Naruto. (There is actually more Dei/Naru than Neji/Naru in this chapter.)
Warnings: Shonen-ai, language, and possible violence in later chapters. If you don't like then go away, please and thank you.
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto! I only own Matsumoto Nanami.
Learning to Love Again
Chapter eight
The words echoed around his mind. I love you. He stood in a still shock as he kept hearing the same words repeated relentlessly. I love you. I love you. I love you. They were words that he had wanted to hear again for three incredibly long years; they were words that he wished hadn't been spoken.
"...You... You love me?" Deidara could only nod in answer to the question. "...You love me!" Naruto brought his arms up and shoved the Akatsuki bomber away from him, feeling once again how real the man was. "You left me in this fucking village to rot, Dei! You left me alone for three damn years!" Deidara took a half step back as he heard his lover shout at him. Naruto had never yelled at him before, and he didn't like hearing it now. "You left me here, Dei, and you expect me to believe that you fucking love me?"
Now Deidara took a step forward; he had to defend himself. "Naruto, I didn't come for you because I couldn't, un. It was complicated...the Akatsuki was...complicated..." it was the only way he could even think to begin to explain his actions. "...The Akatsuki is always complicated, Dei..." Naruto's voice was suddenly calm and it made Deidara feel a little better. "...You don't need to be here... You shouldn't have come back," the whisper made the blue eyes widen in surprise.
"What are you saying, un? Like you said, I left you here for three years, I couldn't just let you go on here alone!" Deidara's eyes narrowed when he heard the scoff that came from the younger man. "I'm not alone, Dei; haven't been for three years, in fact." There was suddenly a moment, a moment where Naruto couldn't even see his ex-lover until the man had him pinned against the door. "...There's someone else, un? ...You've been with someone else...?"
"I'm in love with someone else, Deidara," Naruto surely wasn't afraid of the man, as he knew that Deidara wouldn't hurt him, and so he spat out the words, hoping to hurt Deidara the way the man had hurt him with his absence. The elder blonde stood there, frozen with his hand on Naruto's chest. "W-what...un?" he didn't necessarily want Naruto to repeat the words, but he found that that was the only response he had to his angry lover. "You need to leave." Deidara didn't move. "Deidara." Still the elder blonde stood his ground, or more continued to stay rooted to the spot from the shock of Naruto's words.
How could Naruto be in love with someone else?—how could the blonde have even thought to look at another once they had parted ways? And though they had parted, which had given Naruto the right to look for someone new, Deidara really couldn't understand how his kitsune was able to find someone else to love, not after the many times he had told him that he could never love another. Yet, now it made him wonder, was he the only one that had taken those words seriously? Had he been stupid when he gave his heart to Naruto? "Deidara, leave," no, he couldn't do that; not yet.
Their lips met again, like old friends meeting after losing touch for years, but then quickly parted as Naruto shoved him away once more. "Who is he, un?" Deidara was happy that he was finally able to actually speak as the surprise slowly wore off. "It's none of your business," Naruto was a little stunned by the way he was speaking to the bomber, but continued to do it nonetheless. He needed Deidara to leave; he needed to be able to love Neji without the blonde man, real or hallucination, in his life.
Deidara would listen to none of what Naruto said as he moved forward and kissed him once again, grabbing the hands that were quickly moving to shove him away again with one of his own while the other moved upwards, touching Naruto's cheek gently. Naruto stood there, motionless for moments as Deidara continued to kiss him, not caring that the younger's lips were completely unresponsive against his own.
"I will not leave this village without you, Naruto, un," he declared quietly against the man's lips, moving closer still to the jinchuriki, so close that their bodies began rubbing together just slightly and so gently, reminding both men about the touch that they had lost long ago. "...You've gotta go, Dei," Naruto said quietly, his earlier anger gone completely as he felt Deidara's lips pressing against his own again. The Akatsuki member knew that Naruto was breaking, crumbling underneath his fingers, and he couldn't have been more happy.
"Come with me, un."
For a moment, a single and horribly unplanned moment, Naruto actually considered it. He considered running back into the arms of the elder, though he was pretty much already back in his arms at the current moment; he considered leaving the village with him. What he didn't consider though, even in the least bit, was leaning forward and placing his lips against Deidara's. Yet it was exactly what he did.
The kiss reminded him exactly of their past. It reminded him of everything that he had left behind years ago, but what it failed to remind him of, though it would have been helpful if it had, was the fact that he was in a very loving and committed relationship, and not with this man any longer. Though, thankfully, at least for Naruto, Deidara's words whispered against his lips reminded him of the Hyuga he admitted his love for not too long ago, "I love you, Naruto."
His heart clenched, the feeling of guilt because of his betrayal running through him deeply. "Deidara...you need to go..." the younger man made no move to push the elder away from him, though he knew that he should. Naruto simply stood there, staring into the blue eyes that gazed into his own with triumph. "How does he make you feel, Naruto, un?" Deidara completely ignored the almost demand from his lover as he pushed himself closer to Naruto.
Lips trembled slightly and then stopped almost immediately as Naruto realized that he was allowing Deidara to affect him. "...I love him," his answer was tentative. "That's not what I meant, un," Deidara whispered quietly, effectively bringing his lips even closer to the Kyuubi container's as he spoke. Naruto's blue eyes glanced down quickly, seeing how incredibly close they were to kissing once again. "He...he..." his bottom lip quivered as he couldn't finish his sentence; he couldn't even think to speak the rest of it as Deidara's hand let his own go before trailing down the side of his body slowly.
"He can't make you feel like this, can he, un?" Deidara felt the shiver run through the slightly smaller frame and he watched those blue eyes close, knowing all too well that Naruto was trying to push back the pleasure he was feeling. "Dei-Deidara..." there would have been more to that if the man being spoken to didn't place his lips upon the speaker's.
Naruto felt he had no choice but to kiss back once again; his hormones were raging from the simple touches and he couldn't stop himself even though he wanted so badly to. They grabbed for each other at the same time, and both for the same place, just at the base of the others neck so that they could hold one another in place as their kiss began to get more desperate—as they began to get even more desperate to touch every inch of skin they had been deprived of.
"Naruto...?" the curious voice and wiggle of the doorknob that accompanied it made Naruto gasp and pull back from the kiss, though Deidara didn't much care as he just went on kissing his lover's neck, touching upon every sensitive spot that he remembered so well. "Dei..." his voice was just a breathy whisper in the man's ear as he felt Neji knock upon the door once he was sure that it wasn't going to open for him. "Naruto? Are you in there? Open the door," Deidara growled lightly as he bit down on the tan flesh beneath his lips. "That's him, un?" Naruto could only moan softly as he heard the hissing whisper in his ear suddenly.
"Naruto?" they heard Neji's voice sound more irritated than moments ago before he sighed, mumbling something about the blonde man that neither of the blondes could actually hear, not that they cared much to hear it. "...Dei, you...you need..." the elder sighed before he kissed Naruto once again. Naruto kissed him back and seconds later Deidara was gone, but words echoed softly, "I love you, un."
For moments Naruto couldn't move as he slumped against the door, ignoring Neji's calls for him. He couldn't believe what he had just done; he didn't want to believe what he was feeling; he really didn't want to turn around and open the door for his lover. But he did, though slowly. "Finally. I was starting to wonder if something had happened to you," Naruto's eyes lowered for a moment before he forced a smile to appear on his face. "Sorry," he let a nervous laugh slip through his lips, "I laying against the door and wasn't paying attention..."
Neji shrugged lightly, not really caring all that much about it anymore. "I went back by Matsumoto-san's office; you left your jacket." The brunette held out the orange and black material that he was speaking about and Naruto took it, shutting his eyes a moment later in shame as Neji kissed his cheek softly. "The ramen is probably a little cold by now, but that won't bother you, right?" there was a smile on the Hyuga's lips as he asked the question, knowing that even if the food had been sitting out over night it probably wouldn't deter Naruto from eating it.
Naruto forced a short laugh to sound. "Yeah...it's fine," he said the words quietly as he searched the world outside of the house for a moment, hoping that he could see Deidara somewhere, though he knew that the man was probably long gone from the village.
XxXxXxXxX
Silence. Pure and horrible silence was all that he could hear as he stared at his sleeping lover who had his back to him. He still couldn't get it out of his mind; the kisses, the heat, everything that he had left behind three years ago, it was all there, torturing his mind with wonderful memories that he wished he didn't have. Slowly, Naruto reached out and placed his hand on Neji's side, feeling the man breathe without hearing a sound from him. ...Dei...why did you have to come back...? He felt a little silly for asking such a question; he felt silly for asking it because only days ago he had wanted to see the man so badly. Days ago Naruto had wanted Deidara to come and whisk him away from the village.
After moments more of staring at Neji's back, Naruto closed his eyes, seconds later feeling something against his neck, though he didn't exactly know what since he wasn't paying all that much attention to anything except his thoughts. "Naruto," the voice was quiet in his ear and he hummed lightly, not recognizing it for a moment. He didn't realize who it was until he felt teeth nibble on his earlobe, and he only realized who it was then because only one man knew how doing that exact action turned him on.
Blue eyes snapped open, seeing that Neji was still and asleep. Naruto began to grow worried. If he was truly feeling this then that could only mean... He pulled himself away from the teeth and warm breath that was hitting his ear and turned his head to find, not so much to his surprise, that Deidara was kneeled on the floor, grinning at him lightly. Deidara watched the blue eyes of his lover widen in surprise just before Naruto got up, carefully though so that he wouldn't wake Neji. "Dei! What the hell are you doing here?" he asked the question in a whisper but then shook his head, finding that something more important should be asked, "How the hell did you get in!"
Deidara tilted his head and Naruto's eyes followed it, finding that the window next to his bedside table was open. "I came to see you, un," Deidara answered the first question quietly as he looked around the room, his gaze coming to rest on the sleeping brunette in the bed his lover had just been in. "...I can kill him if you'd like, un," it was simply an offer that Deidara believed Naruto might take him up on, seeing as how they had had such a wonderful reunion earlier. Naruto glared at the bomber before he grabbed his arm and yanked him up, dragging him off to the bathroom a moment later.
"You will not kill him!" Naruto's shout was still whispered even after he closed the door quietly. Deidara frowned slightly before he sighed, shrugging a moment later; at least he had offered. "You need to leave," the words that left Naruto's lips sounded nothing like an order, in fact Deidara smirked when he heard the desperate sounding tone. Naruto didn't want him gone. "I'll leave in a bit, un. Just...let me touch you..."
The younger attempted to glare at his ex-lover when he heard the words, but it turned into a more confused look before Deidara took a step closer to him and made him back up against the door. For a second he wondered how many more times the bomber was going to corner him like this, but then let the thought drift as Deidara reached out and touched his naked chest gently. The elder noticed the flinch that accompanied the touch he gave his lover but ignored it for the most part. "He won't find out, un," he reassured quietly, "I promise."
Naruto stood still, not exactly inviting Deidara to touch him but not turning the man away either. He was simply still against the door as Deidara's hand moved down his torso slowly, coming closer to the hem of his boxers. "Deidara..." he said the man's name in a kind of warning tone and the elder understood, moving his hand back up as he moved closer. "You're less tan than I remember, un," it was the oddest remark that Naruto had ever heard, but coming from Deidara it wasn't totally unexpected. "I haven't been out of the house much..."
Two pairs of blue eyes met when Naruto spoke the words. "...Have you been going on missions, un?" Naruto broke their gaze, "That's none of your business, Dei." Instead of pushing the subject, Deidara nodded, for which Naruto was a bit thankful for. Then, after a single moment of thought, Deidara slipped his arms around Naruto's waist, pulling him close and kissing him gently. "Thank you for this, un." The words surprised the younger for a moment. He couldn't recall a time when he had ever heard Deidara actually say thank you to anyone.
Before Naruto could respond Deidara was gone, leaving the blonde feeling so cold and alone as he backed up against the door and slid down it so that he could plant himself on the floor. His heart ached terribly; his lips longed for the elder blonde's; his body was again beginning to crave the touch of the man that he knew he shouldn't have been seeing. ...Deidara... he sighed deeply, bringing his knees up to his chest as he tried to focus his thoughts on Neji, but failed to do so. ...Why did you have to leave?
TBC...
A/N: Well there you go! Chapter 8! I am so excited about it, though I'm not sure why, I think I just like writing Dei/Naru though... Hmm, anyway, I won't be updating this again until September most likely, so I hope that you have gotten your fill for the moment. If you'd like, review and tell me what you think. Thank you.
If you spot any errors please tell me and I will fix them as soon as possible.
SandXDemonX13
TTYFTDS
